Next up we have BlackJack. This is one of those episodes that gives us a little extension of the Squarepants Family, and it’s actually kind of cute, sometimes… A lot of people deem Stanley S. Squarepants the worst Squarepants Family episode, and other people usually deem this the worst. Why? Well, let’s take a look.
Spongebob receives a letter from one of his cousins, Blackjack, who has just been let out of prison and says that he has decided to pay his parents a “visit”, which grips Spongebob with fear. Why? Well because Blackjack was Spongebob’s childhood bully. He would beat him up, spin him around, and even rip him apart at some points (SHEESH!).
Spongebob thinks that Blackjack has taken his parents hostage, planning to kill them, so Spongebob tries to look for them. His first stop is at his parents’ house, which is covered in police tape. He then heads to his Grandmother’s house, and when he does, his Grandmother tells him that Blackjack had recently called her, saying that Spongebob could miss the party if he doesn’t get there in time, which leads Spongebob to imagine that Blackjack might be doing something horrible to his parents like hanging them over a pot of boiling oil (or acid? I don’t know).
Knowing that one of his uncles, Uncle Captain Blue, was a crime fighter, he decides to head to his house. Spongebob tries to alert him of the danger, but since loud noises are being heard in the background, Blue constantly mistakes Spongebob’s cries for help for offers to do some chores. And then he get a painfully unfunny montage of Spongebob trying to ask him for help, only to be sent onto a mission to do one of his jobs. This goes on for quite a while now!
Eventually, Uncle Blue comes to his senses and listens to Spongebob. He’s reluctant to take Spongebob to Blackjack’s house because Blackjack is pretty mean. Well, that’s actually an understatement. Allow him to explain:
[SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] SpongeBob: But Uncle Cap'N Blue, I need the help of a crime fighter like you. [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Uncle: No, no, I don't chase criminals these days. I'm retired, and if I were you, I'd consider turning around and going home. You're not cut out for this kind of work, boy. An innocent kid like you doesn't stand a chance against a criminal mind. Do you have any idea what people like that do to people like you? [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] SpongeBob: You mean they won't give me a push on the swing set? [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Uncle: Well, let's just say, I hope you've practiced walking without legs, or arms, or a body![/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Yeah! That’s not twisted and dark at all! So, Blue takes Spongebob to Blackjack’s house, where it gets even a little creepier! The house looks rather abandoned (sort of). There’s a terrifying guard worm by the doorstep. And OH MY GOD WHO’S HAND IS THAT?!?![/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Seriously! I’d like to know who’s hand that is. Is that Spongebob’s hand? Is that somebody else’s hand? Is that some kind of sculpture or something? Sheesh, if Blackjack actually ripped off someone’s hand to use as a door handle, I’m outta here!![/SIZE]
SpongeBob goes in to confront his foe and save his parents, but it is revealed that his parents were never in any danger, and that they are holding a party for BlackJack to celebrate his release. They explain to SpongeBob that BlackJack has renounced his "criminal" ways of… littering… okay, and that their house was closed off due to a krill infestation. BlackJack then enters the room, still intent on beating up SpongeBob, but SpongeBob is now prepared to stand up for himself this time.
Now here’s the WONDERFUL twist! Apparently, Blackjack is no bigger than an inch, and he can’t do any harm whatsoever! Wait what? An inch?!
[SIZE=12pt]Okay, that’s just a big plot hole right there! I mean, what happened? Were Spongebob and Blackjack both tiny? Did Spongebob imagine all of this? Did he take some magic potion? Was he cursed my Madam Hagfish for being mean to her? WHAT HAPPENED?!?! The only thing I see here that could be any smaller than Blackjack would be the hint of LOGIC THAT’S IN THIS EPISODE! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! IT JUST DOESN’T!![/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Hint for Number 21: The truth will be revealed! (no, it’s not Squid’s Day Off)[/SIZE]
25. Even though I kind of agree with Web Surfer that being rich isn't always a bad thing or always turns you into a bad person (it can corrupt, though), I just dislike SpongeBob's arrogance here because of his wealth mainly because I dislike characters who are like that in general. Either way, there was nothing about this episode that was too funny or memorable besides the moral, so I'd chalk it up as just another mediocre post-movie episode.
24a. Once again, mediocre and boy does Krabs need to take a chill pill! There's also ol' Eugene once again being too cheap for his daughter (crackers and ketchup = pizza, what?) which wasn't funny. I don't think SpongeBob should've been banned from Pearl's party as he was really only doing what he was told and didn't want to spy on her in the first place.
24a. Boring, boring, boring...
23. I know I said the writers were probably trying to be scary on purpose but this might be a case of "Gone Horribly Right" where the creepiness works TOO well. As you pointed out, Squidward was a neglectful jerk and both he and SpongeBob should've turned back to normal by the end.
22. Yeah, that ending was just plain confusing. I personally think Blackjack is the underwater version of Al Capone: he got arrested for something relatively minor (littering/tax evasion), but most likely got away with much worse. While I don't remember this episode being funny, it was an interesting story at least.
25. I don't really like this episode. SpongeBob's arrogance + the Bottomites' extreme scumbagginess + no humor that I enjoy = bad episode.
24a. I couldn't agree with you more about Pearl not doing anything bad in this episode. Just because a character is bad many times doesn't mean every single episode they appear in will be ruined by that person.
24b. I've always found this episode really 'meh.' I just never cared for it.
23. Well unlike many SB fans, I can take this episode's horrible darkness very well, and I don't hate the episode a single bit
22. This episode is just boring, bland, illogical, and stupid. The ending was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen on this show.
Before we head into the Bottom 20, we have Truth or Square. This episode got some mixed reviews, a lot of them positive, but a lot of them negative. And it turns out that the negative has earned this episode a spot right here! But why do so many people hate this one? Well, let’s start off with the hype.
Truth or Square was supposed to be a special to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Spongebob Squarepants, and to make it even more special, it turned out to be a one hour TV movie, similar to Atlantis Squarepantis. And let me tell you, it was hyped up through the roof! They had special guest stars, visual gimmicks, but most importantly, they promised to reveal the answers to pretty much all the questions that fans have been asking for years. I’ll get to that in just a minute, as this is an important component to the special.
Basically, Spongebob, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and Squidward get ready to celebrate the… elevendy-seventh (is that even a number?) anniversary of the Krusty Krab. They head into the freezer to bring out an ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty, but unfortunately, the freezer door locks them in! So, to get out of this predicament, Spongebob and the gang spend a major portion of the episode crawling through the KK vents, and even having flashbacks in between.
[SIZE=12pt]Spongebob has ate his first Krabby Patty [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The times SpongeBob decorates the Krusty Krab. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The first Krusty Krab commercial. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mr. Krabs telling SpongeBob the Krabby Patty Formula. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Squidward's life before SpongeBob moved to Bikini Bottom. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]SpongeBob moving into Bikini Bottom. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]SpongeBob and Sandy's wedding. [/SIZE]
Now to the hype. As I said a minute ago, when Nickelodeon displayed the promo for ToS, they brought special guest stars. It was supposed to celebrate Spongebob’s Ten Year Anniversary. And to top it all off, Nickelodeon promised to reveal the answers to the biggest secrets that fans have been asking for years! What’s Plankton’s dark evil plan this time? What is the Krabby Patty formula? Spongebob and Sandy… MARRIED?!?!
I, along with other fans, have been hoping for a lot to come out of this special, and while it’s not bad, oh god is it disappointing! Plankton? He only appears for like 2-4 minutes. In fact, if you took him out of the special, you wouldn’t really be missing anything.
The Krabby Patty Formula? They don’t tell you ANYTHING. They produce a flashback of Spongebob and Mr. Krabs discussing the formula, and just as Plankton gets out his notepad to memorize it (and just as Krabs is about to reveal the formula), Krabs from the past (that sounds cool) interrupts the flashback, kicks Plankton away, and the formula is never discussed again in this episode!
But the biggest kick in the pelvis would have to be Spongebob and Sandy’s wedding. At one point, Spongebob tells the time of how he and Sandy got married!
[SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Priest: Friends, we have gathered here today these two hearts in the bonds of love. SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife? [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] SpongeBob: I do. [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Priest: And, Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband? [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Sandy: And how![/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Wait for it…[/SIZE]
·Priest: Well, then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel. You may kiss the bride. (tries to but a light falls from above)
Wait for it…
[SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Mr. Krabs: Worst play I've ever seen. (opens exit doors) And a total rip-off! [/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Theater Fish #2: What has happened to the theater? (everyone exits)[/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]·[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Priest: I didn't know this was a play.[/SIZE] [SIZE=12pt]
[SIZE=12pt]Are you messing with us writers? It looks like they might be messing with us, but no. This is serious. Nick promised to reveal the most important secrets of Spongebob, only to stab us in the back and lie to us right to our faces (and on the 10th anniversary special no less!). No wonder this special is so darn hated.[/SIZE]
Spongebob decides to use Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs as a battering ram, and after hitting one of the vent walls a couple times, they finally manage to escape, but one problem though; all of the customers that were excited for the eleventy-seventh anniversary are gone! Everybody except Spongebob thinks that they did all this for nothing, but Spongebob doesn’t lose hope. He starts singing an ode to his favorite restaurant, which begins to attract the customers again. Soon enough, all of the Bikini Bottomites return to the Krusty Krab, and everybody happily celebrates the eleventy-seventh anniversary, ending the episode.
Now, you might be thinking “Oh this guy must really hate this episode, then.” Well, to be perfectly fair, I have mixed feelings for this special. On the negative side, this special was incredibly disappointing. As a Krabby Patty formula supporter, and a Spandy shipper, I actually was like “Are you kidding me?” when it turns out that they are just full of bologna. To be honest, I really do understand the hatred it gets COMPLETELY!
Though, on the positive side, you actually get a rather solid, interesting story; Spongebob and the gang get ready to celebrate their eleventy-seventh KK anniversary, get stuck in the freezer trying to bring out an ice sculpture, and now they have to crawl through the vents a find their way out, or else they won’t be able to celebrate the occasion, or worse, they’ll die! And I thought they did pretty good with it. I also really loved the flashbacks, mainly because I found it interesting to watch Spongebob Squarepants; A Blast From The Past! Ahem… In other words, I really liked seeing what it was like before this show ever existed. It was pretty neat to watch. Also, this special has some pretty decent humor here and there, and I thought they were very well executed.
So, to be fair, while Truth or Square was really disappointing when it came to the KK secret formula and Spandy (EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!!), the good honestly outweighs the bad by a long shot; it has a good plot, decent humor, wonderful flashbacks, as well as one of the best songs in Spongebob history!
So in conclusion, while this special does have its disappointing moments (LIES), it’s actually not a bad special and I think it does deserve some credit for going such a long way for a 10th anniversary special, despite the hype.
Hint for Number 20: A messed up eyeball for a messed up story
Great review! I never found this episode bad at all. It just suffered from too much promotion and hype from Nick and a lot of people were just really disappointed that it wasn't this epic episode. I also saw this one make it onto the Top 20 Worst SpongeBob Episodes Fan Edition YouTube video and was kind of puzzled as to why.