Pinned thread Favorite Quotes

Nathan Shetka

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SpongeBob: how will we get back to Bikini Bottom now?

David Hasselhoff: I can take you there.

SpongeBob: who are you?


David Hasselhoff: I’m David Hasselhoff.


SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow!


SpongeBob: so, where’s your boat?


David Hasselhoff: boat? Ha ha ha!
 

YuYuYuuki

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"Gimme a K, R, U! Gimme an S, T, Y! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you..."
 

TheSpongyKnight

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Another one...
SpongeBob: Well, at least I didn't hit the Krusty Krab that time. (Tutor Sauce)
Plankton: Stay back, whale! I'm privy to what you do to organisms like me, I've seen those documentaries! (One Coarse Meal) (though I don't know why) FORFEIT!!!
Patrick: One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs. (Arrgh!)
 

Kold Pizza

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SpongeBob: With… imagination, I can be anything I want. A pirate. Aargh! A football player. Hup!
Patrick: A starfish!
Squidward: Patrick, you’re already a starfish.
Patrick: See Squidward? It works! You try!
 

Nathan Shetka

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SpongeBob: Patrick, if your parents think you’re dumb…. they must know how a smart guy you really are.

Patrick: but, don’t geniuses live in a lamp?
 

Kold Pizza

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SpongeBob: Squidward! You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we’ll defeat the Pink Menace!

Patrick: That’s me!

SpongeBob: I can start you off as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you’ll rise through the ranks and become a regular private!

Squidward: Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me. (snickers) Got ‘em both. (notices a snowball flying at him, so he ducks. The snowball puts out his fire.) Grrrrrrrr!! (Squidward closes his window.)

Later that same episode.

Squidward: Look SongeBob, I was just… (SpongeBob throws a snowball at Squidward but it lands on his fire again, putting it out.) SpongeBob! Oh… (picks up a snowball. SpongeBob shrieks.)

Patrick: Yay, Squidward’s on my side!

Squidward: I most certainly am not!

SpongeBob: Then that means he’s on my side!

Squidward: No SpongeBob, I’m not on your side either. I’m on nobody’s side. Snowball fights are for immature children and I will not stoop to your level.

Those parts from Snowball Effect always made me laugh like crazy!
 
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Nathan Shetka

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Mr. Krabs: well, actually, SpongeBob, there’s two words. and they’re not very good. you’re fired.

SpongeBob: oh, Mr. Krabs…. WHAT?!?

Squidward: fired?

Mr. Krabs: well, you see, I’ve been doing some calculating and, you know, crunching the old numbers. And it turns out that I’ll save a whole nickel if I cut your salary.

SpongeBob: bu…bu…but… how about if I work for free?

Mr. Krabs: yeah, I looked into that. Apparently, it’s “illegal.” and I’ll lose my “vendor’s license.”

(from the episode “SpongeBob, You’re Fired!”)
 
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Nathan Shetka

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Squidward: Patrick, what are you doing?!?

Patrick: digging.

Squidward: why are you wearing that hat?

Patrick: oh, I don’t know.

Squidward: where’s SpongeBob?!?

Patrick: he’s in the house, he’s impressed.

Squidward: with what?

Patrick: I don’t know, but it must’ve been pretty good to make him cry like that.

(Fools In April)
 

Kold Pizza

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Mr. Krabs: [in the bathroom, hears the sirens] Huh? [looks through the periscope, sees that the Krusty Krab is empty, and gasps] The Krusty Krab! She’s empty! [runs to the dining room with the toilet paper stuck to one of his feet] All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward! Where have all me beautiful paying customers gone?

Squidward: Apparently, the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.

Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What did he say?

Squidward: Uh, he said, uh, well, he said… [whispers the word]

Mr. Krabs: Huh?

Squidward: [Whispers it again]

Mr. Krabs: [gasps] SpongeBob and friend! Front and center! Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language!

SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers.

Patrick: Yeah, it’s fancy talk.

Mr. Krabs: There ain’t nothing fancy about that word!

SpongeBob: You mean [dolphin chirp]?

Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one! [SpongeBob and Patrick stand up] Now quit saying that! [SpongeBob and Patrick frown] It’s a bad word.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word!? [both regretfully wipe their tongues while moaning]

Mr. Krabs: Yes, siree. That’s bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.

Squidward: Don’t you mean there are only 7?

Mr. Krabs: Not if you’re a sailor. [laughs]

SpongeBob: Wow, 13.

Patrick: That’s a lot of [dolphin chirp] bad words.
 

Nathan Shetka

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Flying Dutchman: what a night be this. crew, howl with me on the seven seas! ablaze with fear! Awooooooooooooooooo!

SpongeBob (laughs): Bahahahahahaha!

Patrick: Leedle-Leedle-Leedle-Lee!

Flying Dutchman: Awooooooooooo!

SpongeBob (laughs) Bahahahahahahaha!

Patrick: Leedle-Leedle-Leedle-Lee!

Flying Dutchman: That’ll do.
 

Kold Pizza

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SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward? Hey, Squidward? [Squidward is reading a book.] Hey, Squidward? Hey, Squidward? Hey, Squidward?

Squidward: All right, I’ll bite. What is it, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Do you know what today is?

Squidward: Annoy Squidward Day?

SpongeBob: [laughs] No, silly! [gets out a calendar] That’s on the 15th! [day is marked by a picture of Squidward’s face] Today is the beginning of the judging for Employee of the Month.

Squidward: SpongeBob, don’t you know that award is a scam?

SpongeBob: What do you mean?

Squidward: Mr. Krabs gives you that award, so you’ll work harder for no extra money.

SpongeBob: That is not true, Squidward. He gives it to me because I work harder. You could win it too if you tried harder.

Squidward: Oh, for what? To get my face on the Wall of Shame? [shows wall full of SpongeBob pictures for being Employee of the Month]

SpongeBob: Squidward, you’ve got it all wrong. Having pride in your work is nothing to be ashamed of, why it’s the only thing that makes it all worthwhile.
 

Nathan Shetka

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Mr. Krabs: what is the meaning of all these nicknames? David H. Jones!!!!

SpongeBob: Mystery got a belly ache from eating Krabby Patties. so, I gave her a bicarbonate of soda.

Old Man Jenkins: what’d I miss?
 

Kold Pizza

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From the SpongeBob SquarePants movie.

[Squidward is singing in the shower and SpongeBob interrupts him]

Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing in here!?

SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward.

Squidward: Whatever it is, can’t it wait until we get to work?

SpongeBob: There’s no shower at work.

[When Patrick wakes up to congratulate SpongeBob for the Krusty Krab 2 manager position]

Patrick: Congratulations buddy.

SpongeBob: Oh thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.

Patrick: I love bein’ purple!

[After Patrick flies around on a banner naked with a “Go SpongeBob” flag on his butt, hits the stage and sets everything on fire causing everyone except himself to run away]

Patrick: Let’s hear it for SpongeBob! Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?

[At the Goofy Goober Ice Cream Party Boat]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs thinks I’m a… kid.

Patrick: [slapping his forehead] What? That’s insane!

SpongeBob: I know…

Patrick: Well, saying you’re a kid, is like saying I’m a kid.

Waiter: Here’s your Goober Meal, sir.

Patrick: I’m supposed to get a toy with this. [Waiter throws a Goofy Goober hand puppet at his face] Thanks.

[From the Tear of the Goofy Goobers scene]

SpongeBob: Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Patrick…

Patrick: You mean that we’re attractive?
 
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