The Cannibal Run!
Point Noir
Potty flew up to the starting line and blew through the saxophone. Everyone just stared.
SpongeBob: What's with the saxophone?
Potty: Rawk, Patchy lost our trumpet.
Patchy waved down the green flag, holding an umbrella. The Big Shrimp Bay sped off.
Patchy: And...you're off! Huh? Guys? SpongeBob? Why aren't you all going?! *The Squidboat goes while he's going on and closing his eyes* I'm the President of your fan club, for crying out loud! I sawm all the way down here from Encino, California for you guys! (strats bawling) Huh? Wha-...oh. Okay...(calls)...YOU'RE OFF!!!!
The two boats rowed into Point Noir, where dozens of strange sea creatures watched them go.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'm useless without me money or me formular.
Sandy: Not yet y'all ain't.
She ripped off his shirt causing his arms to spin.
Sandy: Grab the stern with yer legs!
Mr. Krabs did this, acting as a fan that sped up the Squidboat, so it was neck and neck with the Big Shrip Bay.
Sandy: We're neck n' neck!
Didn't I just say that? Oh well. Squidward and Plankton walked into the cannon room where the cannons were lined up. Squidward busted the window open and the cannons were pointed towards them.
SpongeBob: Incoming!
They were blasted, but this caused a huge wave which drifted the Squidboat, thus, they were ahead.
Sandy: (looking behind her) We're ahead!
Plankton#: Oh, tartar sauce!
Man, Sandy's stealing all my lines today.
Chasm of Scythes
The Squidboat rowed past razor-blades flying eveywhere. Producer Randy also stood there, trying to stab at them with his sword.
Randy: Hey, hey! Conseguir tus extremos detrs aqu y luchar como los hombres verdaderos, cobardes! {Hey, hey! Get your butts back here and fight like real men, cowards!}
Sandy: I reckon we're gonna be the first into...
They approached the small cavern where huge scythes were cutting across. They came back, with the boat split into four different pieces, each character on a different piece.
Sandy: ...the Chasm of Scythes.
Mr. Krabs: What now?
Patrick: Ooh! Ooh! We lose?
SpongeBob: Patrick, what about all that stuff you said about friendship and trying and never giving up?
Patrick: Ehhh...don't know. Sometimes I just say stuff, you know? Helps me get in the moooood.
*commerical break*
Now it was the Big Shrimp Bay's turn to pass through the Chasm. However, the pirate crew all swam down in Squidboats and lifted up the ship. Then they carried the ship over the chasm.
Sandy: (points) Why didn't we thinka that?
The crew threw the ship back into the water and jumped back in. The boat stopped next to the four Squidboat pieces. Plankton opened up the back windows.
Plankton: So, Krabs, are you all cut u about losing the Pirate's Hook? Have I shredded any hoped of victory? Are you falling apart at the seams?!
The ship swam away, Plankton laughing his tiny little head off.
Mr. Krabs: I could almost handle losing my formular and me restaurant, but not me money, if I didn't have to listen to that waste o' hot gas!
All of a sudden, SpongeBob sneezed, releasing all his snot onto Patrick's piece. As he sniffled it all back in, the snot stuck their pieces together, like glue.
SpongeBob: Sorry, I'm allergic to bad puns.
Patrick: (gasp) SpongeBob, you're a mad geinus! Go sneeze on Sandy!
Sandy: SpongeBob, just because we're dating and all, doesn't mean ah'm gonna let y'all...
But she was too late. SpongeBob sneezed on her as well, connecting her piece. Patrick then dragged him over to Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob started gearing up a prelude to a sneeze (Aaahhh...ahhhh...) as Mr. Krabs sat there patiently.
Mr. Krabs: (sigh) Bring it on.
SpongeBob sneezed all over Mr. Krabs.
Bottomless Falls
Patrick looked at the snot-covered ship.
Patrick: We're a river booger, cool!
Plankton: (out the back window) Well, well, well, I hope you kitties can fly too, 'cause you're gonna need to to get over the Bottomless Falls!
There were two waterfalls that split the Lagoon. Inbetween them was a huge bottomless pit.
Plankton: Squidward, activate the rockets!
Squidward pulled a lever as he steered up on deck. Plankton closed the back window. Jet rockets sprung out from the side of the ship and activated, allowing the ship to fly over the falls. The crew cheered. Now, the Squidboat was approaching the falls.
Sandy: How in tarnation are we eveh getin' over that there pit?
Mr. Krabs: Power or no power, we're not losing to Plankton!
They started to fall down. Mr. Krabs grabbed a six-pack of Dr. Kelp and popped all the tops, releasing a huge soda rocket that shot them over the falls, and past the Big Shrimp Bay.
Patrick: (yelling down to the BSB) Opinin adis a mi extremo, lechones! Woo-hoo! {Say goodbye to my butt, suckers! Woo-hoo!}
The Big Shrimp Bay easily surpassed them, however.
Plankton#: (calling from the deck) Perch non dite arrivederci alla mia estremit, polloni? Boo-hoo! {Why don't you say goodbye to my butt, suckers?}
Hole of Oddities
The BSB raced into the Hole of Oddities, a huge portal to a mysterious dimension.
SpongeBob: What the shrimp is that?
Mr. Krabs: That would be the Hole of Oddities.
Patrick: Why's it called the Hole of Oddities, man?
Sandy: I reckon we're about to find out.
They then got into the Hole too. Inside the hole, there was a huge miriachi band, led by everyone's favorite annoying Mexican cabaret dancer producer.
Randy:
♪Oh, mi autor PokDouglas del ventilador del faovirte,
l ahora est en el grado del eigth,
Y l est tomando a introduccin clases espaolas,
Tan el escribir para m ser mucho ms fcil!♪
{Oh, my favorite fan author PokDouglas,
He's now in the eigth grade,
And he's taking into Spanish classes,
So writing for me will be much easier!}[sup]1[/sup]
We cut to the Squidboat, to see they had turned into live-action puppets (even though Randy and his mirachi band were still in cartoon form).
Sandy: Oh, now ah get it.
SpongeBob lifted up his shirt to reveal the puppeteer's arm underneath.
SpongeBob: HOLEH CRRUUUDDDD!!!! I'M A FOREARM FROM THE WAIST DOWN!!!
*they all start screaming*
They then exited the Hole, back in their cartoon forms.
Sandy: (looking back) Well, ah reckon that was...disturbin'.
They continued rowing.
Island of Giant Pokmon
The Island of Giant Pokmon was made out like a log flume ride. So as they went down the first time, a giant Rampardos contineued to launch a Flamethrower at them. You'd think that since it was raining heavily, Rampardos or his Flamethrower wouldn't have much power, but the Pokmon world physics don't apply in this little fic.
Rampardos: Rampaarrrrrdos!
Even more giant Pokmon (Dragonite and Dodrio, respectively) continued to blast fire at them. Back at the Big Shrimp Bay, there was now a huge fire on deck.
Stevie: (running around with a flaming butt) HOLEH SHRIMP!!! MY BUTT'S ON FIRE!!!
Randy: (with his sombrero on fire) Caliente! Caliente! {Hot! Hot!}
The final Pokmon (Articuno, Larvitar, and Torkoal) finished blasting fire at them as the log flume ride came to an end.
Sunken City of Atlantis
Mr. Krabs: (reading the singn on one of the rocks) "Sunken City of Atlantis". I don't see no city! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!
Sandy: Y'all don't have aneh money, pinhead!
Mr. Krabs: (sniffling) Don't remind me.
The rockets on the Big Shrimp Bay sprung out again yet this time, they were firing up, thus allowing through gravity for the Big Shrimp Bay to dive into the Lagoon. SpongeBob summoned the frogfish.
SpongeBob: *making porpoise-like noises*
Frogfish: *making roaring noises*
The frogfish used its grandma tongue to grab the Squidboat.
Grandma: Now hang onto the boat, kiddies!
The four of them grasped the boat as the frogfish dove underwater, Grandma carrying the Squidboat underwater with him. Atlantis's security guards started shooting beams at the Big Shrimp Bay and the Frogfish Squidboat. Since Sandy had a breathing mouthpeice, she didn't need to hold her breath in the goo. Everyone else did, however.
Picnic Grounds of Terror
They then resurfaced onto the dock that led to the Picnic Grounds of Terror. There was a huge umbrella being held over all of them to sheild their "lunch" from the rain. They then all hopped back into their boats and sped off. The frogfish appeared and threw the Squidboat past the Big Shrimp Bay. Plankton watched them fly past.
Glacier of Creepiness
Once they landed, they were in front of the Glacier of Creepiness. A creepy face appeared on the glacier. So that's how it got its name. Sandy didn't care, however. She pulled out the nuclear cannon she grabbed from Spongebot earlier and used it to melt the Glacier, making a path for them.
Father Whirlpool
Next up was the Father Whirlpool. They were all sucked into the whirlpool. We then cut to SpongeBob's dad in the bathroom back at the house, looking into the toilet.
Mr. SquarePants: Whoa. I really gotta lay off those Cheeto's Puffs©. burps loudly) Oh-h0-h0, escuse me!
On the other side of the Whirlpool, they were both spit out. The rain was now starting to calm down.
Cliffs of Crushing
The Squidboat was now ahead. They fianlly came to the Cliffs of Crushing, waiting for the right moment to go in without being crushed.
Sandy: They're going too fast. We need more speed.
Mr. Krabs then waved his fan to speed it up and avoid getting crushed. Plankton was irratated at this. He called down to Spongebot and Pat-Droid, whom were playing croquet on the deck. Sponge-Bot now had his head taped to his body from being blasted off in his previous scene.
Plankton#: Spongebot, Pat-Droid, destroy them! That's an order!
Pat-Droid: Statement: (spinning head around) HERE COMES THE FIIIISSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!
Spongebot: I am too perplexed about my true purpose in the world, now that I know I am not identical to my target like I was designed to be! I cannot help you. (head falls off)
The Big Shrimp Bay ended up getting flattened. They passed the sign saying, "Almost There. Hope You're Still Alive".
Patrick: Whoooooo!!!! Woo! Woo!
In a last-effort attempt, Plankton fired another cannonball at them. It sunk the Squidboat, just as they were about to cross the Finish Line. Patchy gasped.
Plankton: (in the same style as in the movie) Yes! Yes! Yeessss!!!!!
Just then, Mr. Krabs's hand popped up and teared the finish line. They tehn climbed up out of the water, as Patchy and Potty cheered.
Plankton#: I'm the laughingstock of Bikini Bottom!
Randy: Ha! (runs away)
Squidward: Maybe scaring isn't really your thing.
Plankton: (hops off him) Arrgh!
Squidward: Eh-heh-heh. I'm gonna go home now.
He hopped onto another Squidboat and cut the rope, causing it to fall into the water. Patchy walked over to the heroes. It had now fully stopped raining.
Patchy: You guys are awesome! See? This is why I started this whole fan club!
Patrick: (muttering to himself) I still wish I had my own fan club.
Patchy: But now comes the tough part. You must defeat me in death combat!
Sandy simply picked up Patrick, and threw him at Patrick, knocking him out. Patrick climbed back onto deck.
SpongeBob: Wow, challenging. [/sarcasm]
Sandy: Let's just get that Hook and get on outta here!
Plankton dropped his hat and stomped on it in frustration.
*commercial break*
Next scene: Your Worst Nightmares!
[sup]1[/sup]Lol, making fun of my own personal life.