Dandy Sandy/Web Surfer/Quack

Web Surfer: Part Two

SpongeBob was listening to Wendell talk. After a while, he started to feel drowsy.

Wendell: A volcano recently erupted here-a though, melting the mayor's-a home. Luckily, the mayor was at press-a conference. *pause* Am I-a boring you?
SpongeBob: No, not at all.
Wendell: Well then, did I-a also tell you about-a...
Stevie: Quick quack tooda tooda booga!
SpongeBob: (hops off chair) Excuse me one second.

He walked over to Patrick and Stevie.

Patrick: Rear deer gear-gear, Stev-wa!
Stevie: Doofoo foodoo you-do, Pat-qi!
SpongeBob: Guys, I...
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Stevie and I invented our own secret code!
Stevie: Yeah, can you guess what this means? Wesden cooter-mooter dye-turd, Soppup-Bob!
SpongeBob: (sigh) I give up.
Patrick: It means, "Don't be such a grumpy gus, SpongeBob!"
(they both start laughing, then Patrick stops)
Patrick: (points to Stevie) Bumba bee Stev-wa!
Stevie: (top of head is hidden from camera view; scratching head) You want to sneeze pancakes through my nose?
Patrick: No, there's a bumba-bee on your head!

We zoom out to show there's a bumblebee on top of Stevie's head. It stings him and then flies off.

Stevie: (rubbing wound) In retrospect, jumbling together real words and gibberish to form a code doesn't seem very smart.
SpongeBob: Guys, why don't you just play outside or something?
Patrick: *points to window*

We look through the window to show it was raining snails and worms outside. Stop signs, garbage, and Squidward were all being carried by the fierce winds.

SpongeBob: Well, then play upstairs! Anywhere but here!

He stormed back to the computer.

Stevie: Man, we're not gonna have any fun with Mr. Cooter-mooter yelling at us all day!
SpongeBob: I fwezzie-doodled that!
Patrick: Don't worry, Stevie. For where there's a will, there's a way, and I have a way! Have you ever heard the saying, "Every dog has his day?"
Stevie: What the barnacle's a dog?
Patrick: (pause) I don't really know. I heard Sandy say that once. *American flag background behind him* But, we are the dogs! AND WE WILL HAVE OUR DAY!!!

It zooms out to show Stevie is holding an American flag behind him.

Stevie: I found this in your closet. What should I do with it?
Patrick: Eh, you can keep it if you want.

*bubble transition*

Wendell: Well, I-a finally got chance to-a tell you. I just got-a new girlfriend. Her-a name is-a Francine.

SpongeBob's smile immediately turned into a frown as he slumped back into his chair.

Wendell: Something-a wrong?
SpongeBob: Eh, I've just had some bad girl expieriences lately. Go on, go on.

As Wendell talked, Patrick was standing on a support beam in the cieling, wearing a Tarzan suit and holding onto a rope tied to the cieling light. He swung down and knocked over SpongeBob's monitor, shutting it off.

Patrick: (Tarzan yell) Uhhh-aaahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhhhh!!!!!
SpongeBob: (gasp) Patrick, how could you?!!?

Then Stevie came in. He was dressed in karate gear similar to SpongeBob's, only it was blue and the helmet was more rounder to fit Stevie's big round jelly-head. He slammed Spongey's computer system onto the floor and started chopping the heck out of it before striking into a vague Karate pose.

Stevie: If we have to suffer from this dreary day, so do you!

Then, outside, the storm quickly lifted and the sun shone.

Patrick: Hey, it's nice enough to play outside again.
Stevie: (turns to the computer wreckage) Well...that was dumb.

SpongeBob was staring angrily at them. A firey background built up.

Patrick: Should we start running now?
SpongeBob: (raspy-like voice) Oh, yeah.

Patrick and Stevie spent the rest of the day running in circles in the living room as Spongey chased them. A bubble transition brought us out.

End of Web Surfer

Next segment: Quack!
 
Quack
Written by
PokDouglas

Directed by
PokDouglas

Anything Else I Forgot
PokDouglas

We're looking at an aerial view of the houses.

Narrator: Ah, the peaceful tranquility of Conch Street. Notice how peaceful and quiet it can be...
Ducky toy: Quack quack!
Narrator: Oh, never mind.

We cut inside the bell of Stevie's home. He was playing with his Ducky toy from Moving Out.

Ducky: Quack quack! (stops)
Stevie: (walks over to Ducky) No wonder this thing only cost five cents at that yard sale.

He pulled the string and Ducky started moving again. Although this time, it went a little too far and started to head towards the escalator to the foyer.

Stevie: (running towards it) Ducky, no!

But it was too late. Ducky rolled down the escalator and crashed on the floor, breaking into the pieces. Stevie ran to the mess of broken parts.

Stevie: Ducky!!! NO!!!! Why? Why?! He was so young! He didn't even...*immediately stops mourning* Okay, I'm over it. (picks up a broken piece from Ducky's bill and sighs) There goes my fun while SpongeBob and Patrick are out grocery shoppin'!

We cut to Sponge and Pat at the grocery store. Mrs. Puff walked up to them.

Mrs. Puff: Why, hello, Sponge...
SpongeBob: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! *hides inside Patrick's shorts; pause* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cuts back to Stevie.

Voice from outside: Help, help!
Stevie: A shriek of terror!

He peeked out the window. A small beige duckling's feet were tangled in a coral vine tree. It was obviously struggling to get out.

Stevie: (gasp) A lone duckling, grabbed by the coral tree's clutches! (runs out of the house) Fear not, small duckling! I shall save you!

He ran over and immediately pulled out SpongeBob's Bass Scout Swiss Army Knife from Who Framed Stevie?. He cut and cut the vines until the duckling was finally free.

Duckling: Tank you, misteh. You saved my wife!
Stevie: (confused) I saved your wife?
Duckling: (pronouncing it slowly) Wife.
Stevie: Oh, life! Eh, it was nothing. Well um, you'd better get home to your mama before you get in any more danger.
Duckling: (frowns) Oh, um, I-I...I can't.
Stevie: Why not?
Duckling: I'm wost. I can't find my mommy anywhere. We wuh at da pond in da Bikini Bottom Fohest, when I fewwe down a hiwwe and landed heh, tanguhed in dese vines.
Stevie: (kneeling down) Oh, that's awful. Hmmmm....Hey, I got an idea! I'll take you home to your mama!

A bubble transition brought us to the next scene.

(From now on, I will no longer be naming these scenes. I just find it pointless. I'll keep doing that on Fanfiction.net instead.)
 
Come to it, I will keep using titles. Never mind.

SpongeBob's Boatmobile

SpongeBob's garage door opened. Stevie and the duckling walked inside. SpongeBob's garage was hard and gray. Next to SpongeBob's boatmobile* (click here) was the reef blower from Reef Blower and Squidville. Around the garage lay desks, cabinets, shelves, and SpongeBob's many power tools.

The duckling read a note taped to the boatmobile's windsheild.

Duckling: (reading note) "Don't even tink about it, Stevie!"
Stevie: Yeah, SpongeBob's been kinda stern since the last time I borrowed his boatmobile.
Duckling: Why? What'd you do wast time?

FLASHBACK
We cut to the outside of the Bikini Bottom Tea Plant. This is the factory where tea is produced in Bikini Bottom. In a few seconds, it suddenly exploded. Stevie and the boatmobile had run over a support beam. SpongeBob and Patrick looked angrily at Stevie.

Stevie: (turns to SpongeBob) Sorry.
END FLASHBACK

Stevie: Eh, I just ran a stop sign is all.

They went inside the boatmobile and started it. Stevie burst the car through the garage door and they sped unto the road. The duckling looked behind them.

Duckling: Dontcha tink you shoulda closed the gawage dooh fist?
Stevie: Geez, for a little duckling, you sure know your life skills. What's your name?
Duckling: Mawissa.
Stevie: Marissa?
Marissa: Yup.
Stevie: That's a girl's name.
Marissa: Yup.
Stevie: So...you're a girl duckling?
Marissa: Yup.
Stevie: Cool. Now, let's see, there should be a map in SpongeBob's glove compartment.

He searched around in the boatmobile's glove compartment, which was cluttered with SpongeBob's Jelly-Spotters field guide, a pair of Patrick's shorts (just in case), and several rotten Krabby Patties. He finally found a Bikini Bottom Map at the bottom, smudged in Krabby Secret Sauce, whose secret recipe (that Plankton is seen frequently trying to steal) never allowed it to turn bad.

Stevie: (looking at the map) Ah, here we go. According to this, the road to the Kelp Forest is just between the Chum Bucket and the Theater**.

And so, Stevie and Marissa were off to Kelp Forest.

(The end title however, will no longer be continued.)

Next scene: Pond Hunting!

*Don't even ask about the boatmobile. In my world, SpongeBob has his driver's license now.
**Like I made claear in Who Framed Stevie?, I like to think of Bikini Bottom being in the same layout as it was in BFBB.
 
Pond Hunting!

Stevie and Marissa entered the Kelp Forest. They were in the same part of the forest that Mr. Krabs drove SpongeBob to in Bummer Vacation. Stevie stopped the boatmobile and they stepped out.

Stevie: Well, we're here. Do you know where the pond is, exactly?
Marissa: Not weawwy.
Stevie: (turns on a flashlight) Then it looks like we're going pond-hunting.

They started to walk down the road.

Stevie: We'd better find that pond soon. This road leads to Kelp Cave, the alleged lair of the famous Kelp Monster!
Marissa: Ah-heh-heh. Um, actuawwy, I tink da pond is frough Kelp Cave...
Stevie: (drops flashlight) Oh. Well...okay. (gulps) Looks like we're going up against the Kelp Monster. Eh-heh-heh-heh...(it starts to turn into crying)

They kept walking for about half an hour until they reached the mouth of the Kelp Cave. Marissa hid behind Stevie's legs, cringing. Stevie in turn crouched down behind her, shaking.

Stevie: ("eyes" drift over to the left*) Wow, look at that. There's a little path that goes around the cave. We don't have to go inside after all.

They snuck through the path. But suddenly, Marissa tripped on a roack and injured her leg.

Marissa: OWWWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!! MY WEG!!!!!! *voice echoes* My weg...my weg...my weg...
Stevie: Be quiet! You don't want to wake the...

We heard a loud roar from inside the cave.

Stevie: ...Kelp Monster.

We heard the Kelp Monster's voice from deep inside. Deep voice. Think the Cave of Wonders from Alladin.

Kelp Monster: Who dares disturb my slumber?
Stevie: (cloesup) Oh, boy.

Next scene: Kelp Monster's Wrath!

*If you're wondering why I didn't give Stevie eyes (only eyebrows), it's because he's a jellyfish. I don't really think genetics could alter him so much as to actually give him eyes.
 
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