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Mimic Madness

(Open at the Krusty Krab. Inside, Mr Krabs is wearing a military hat and holding a whip.)
Mr Krabs: All right, Krusty Krew. I want to remind you all that you are representing the Krusty Krab-- the greasiest greasy spoon you'll ever have the privilege of serving!
(SpongeBob's face is painted red and is wearing a claw-shaped foam hand)
SpongeBob: WHOO! You tell 'em, Krabs! (rips his pants off) Bring it around town! Yeah!
(Mr. Krabs whips SpongeBob's face as well as Squidward's smiling mask as he appears to be sleeping)
Squidward: (confused) Oh, bring it around somewhere!
(Krabs jumps on top of one of the Krusty Krab's tables)
Mr. Krabs: Open the doors and let the consuming commence! I'll be in me office polishing yesterday's booty. (Krabs laughs as he walks into his office)
Squidward: (imitating Mr. Krabs) I'll be in me office polishing yesterday's booty. (laughs just like Mr. Krabs) (SpongeBob gasps at Squidward's imitation of Mr. Krabs and laughs. Mr. Krabs pops out of the cash register, angry)
Mr. Krabs: I heard that, Mr. Squidward!
(SpongeBob hides in his Krusty Krab hat)
Squidward: It wasn't an insult, Mr. Krabs. It was a-a-a-a-a tribute. Haven't you ever heard of "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"?
(SpongeBob peeks out from under his hat)
Mr. Krabs: (still angry) You trying to tell me that was a compliment?!
Squidward: (laughs nervously) Exactly! It's my homage to you and your love of money!
(Mr. Krabs growls at first, but then he becomes happy)
Mr. Krabs: Well, 'ya got me there. I do love money. (giggles) Excellent observation, Mr. Squidward. (dives into cash register)
(SpongeBob comes out from under his hat)
Squidward: Oh boy, that was a close one.
SpongeBob: Yes. it was a very close one, Squidward. Close and warm. (eyes widen) Mr. Krabs was really flattered by your imitation.
Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob away) Already forgot about it.
(SpongeBob runs up to a window and looks at the various fish passing by the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: Imitation plus flattery equals happy people! (SpongeBob has an idea as he slides up the window)
(Transition to Tom and his children sitting at one of the tables. The children appear to be playing around as SpongeBob serves a plate of Krabby Patties to them.)
Tom: Whoa, okay. (gets hit by a paper airplane) Everybody, come on now. Settle down, time to eat your patties.
SpongeBob: (morphs his body to imitate Tom) Whoa, okay now. Everybody, settle down. Time to eat your patties. (morphs back to normal as Tom's children laugh at his imitation)
Tom: Wow, that's just like me! (laughs along with his children)
(SpongeBob takes a bow and walks off)
Tom: (extremely angry) I SAID EAT YOUR PATTIES! (slams fist on the table while his children nervously eat their Krabby Patties)
Squidward: Hurry up, SpongeBob. I need two double orders of Krabby Krust, stat.
SpongeBob: No problem, Squidward. I'll get you those orders as soon as possible. (morphs his body to mimic Squidward) Or never, whichever comes first.
(Rim shot. Everybody laughs as SpongeBob enters the kitchen)
SpongeBob: Oh, swoon. That imitation stuff really works. Look out world! (face morphs into a handsome man) I'm gonna flatter your socks off. (teeths glimmers as he smiles)
(Transition to outside of the Krusty Krab. Patrick is digging out of a garbage can and pulls out a partially eaten Krabby Patty.)
Patrick: Hmm. (throws Krabby Patty) Nope. (pulls out a cup with soda and eats it) Ah.
(SpongeBob sneaks up behind Patrick through the front doors. He then morphs his body to mimic Patrick)
SpongeBob: Hey there, Patrick ol' buddy!
Patrick: Oh, hi Patrick. What's shakin'?
SpongeBob: (imitating Patrick) I'm gonna eat ice cream and go Jellyfishing with my good buddy, SpongeBob!
Patrick: Sounds good to me!
(SpongeBob turns back to normal)
SpongeBob: Ah, it's just me, Patrick! Fooled 'ya! (laughs)
Patrick: (also laughing) You can't fool me, "me". That's the worst SpongeBob impression I've ever seen.
SpongeBob: (still laughing but then becomes confused) Wait, what?
(Transition to outside of the Chum Bucket where Sandy is playing chess with Plankton. Plankton pushes a black rook chess piece to the next square)
Plankton: Rook to king four. (tries to push the chess piece but it squashes him) Check-mate...
(Sandy takes the rook piece off of Plankton)
Sandy: Plankton, maybe we should play a game that's a little less dangerous. You're flatter than hammered horse hockey.
(Sandy pokes at Plankton as SpongeBob slides into view. SpongeBobs morphs his body to mimic Sandy)
SpongeBob: (imitating Sandy) Cattywampus, Plankton. (crushes Plankton with fake helmet) You're just about the teeniest gal-dang critter I ever did see. Yee-haw!
(SpongeBob forms another head to mimic Plankton)
SpongeBob: (imitating Plankton) And you are the fuzziest nut-eating scientist I've ever seen. (evil laugh)
SpongeBob: (imitating Sandy again) I like to use science for good!
SpongeBob: (imitating Plankton again) Really? I always use science for EVIL!
(Sandy laughs and claps at SpongeBob's imitation)
Sandy: That is me to a Texas "T", SpongeBob! He nailed you too, Plankton!
Plankton: It was okay...He got my face right, but that voice was terrible.
(SpongeBob turns back to normal once more)
SpongeBob: Those impressions are making everyone so happy! I can't stop doing them! I can't. I won't. (morphs in Gary) Meow.
SpongeBob: (imitating the French Narrator as he reads the time card) 80,000 Impressions Later...
French Narrator: Would you please stop imitating me? It is starting to get VERY annoying.
(Transition to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob morphs into Nathiel Waters and serves a patty to him)
Nathiel Waters: Uh, can I have some extra napkins please?
SpongeBob: (imitating Nathiel) Oh, you want some napkins, please?
Nathiel Waters: (slams fins on the table) Stop it! Stop imitating me! For the love of Neptune, (runs out of the Krusty Krab) shut your talented mouth!
SpongeBob: (back to normal) Okay, bye. Yup, everybody still loves it. (morphs his body to mimic Squidward again)
SpongeBob: (imitating Squidward) Are we having fun yet, Squidward Tentacles? (laughs just like Squidward does as he walks into the kitchen)
Squidward: Oh, that's it! I can't stand that perfect impression of me anymore! I never thought I'd say this, but I'm tired of looking at myself. I quit! (throws his hat on the ground and leaves)
Sandy: Boy, SpongeBob is really getting out of control with his impression obsession.
(Mr. Krabs pops out of the cash register)
Sandy: Ah!
Mr. Krabs: Right you are, Sandy. SpongeBob has lost touch with reality. I've seen it before. They call it the "Mocking Mimicry Madness".
(SpongeBob sneaks up and morphs into Mr. Krabs)
SpongeBob: (imitating Mr. Krabs) The "Mocking Mimicry Madness". (laughs like Mr. Krabs while the real Mr. Krabs screams and hides into the cash register)
(SpongeBob, back to normal, laughs.)
(Transition to Patrick, Plankton, Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs standing outside of SpongeBob's house)
Sandy: All right, remember guys. This is an intervention, so we need to make sure that above all, SpongeBob knows how much we all care for him.
Plankton: Why don't we just destroy him and get it over with?
Squidward: Here here.
(Patrick grabs Squidward and Plankton really hard)
Patrick: YOU LEAVE MY BEST FRIEND ALONE! (strangles Squidward and Plankton)
Plankton and Squidward: It was just a suggestion!
Mr. Krabs: Spread out! All right, you scurvy dogs. SpongeBob needs us, and more importantly, I need him- to stop imitating me customers!
Sandy: Right guys, that's...uh..almost the spirit.
(Sandy rings the doorbell to SpongeBob's house)
SpongeBob: Oh boy, somebody's at the door! I can't wait to imitate 'em! (opens the door) Oh hello, Patrick! And Sandy? And Squidward? And Mr. Krabs? Plankton too? Five at once, huh? Okay, here here goes nothin'. (SpongeBob clenches and morphs himself into all five of his friends)
SpongeBob: (imitating his friends) Hi! Ahoy! Howdy! Greetings! Go Away!
All: Ugh...
Patrick: Why?!
Sandy: Hi, SpongeBob. We need to talk.
SpongeBob: (imitating his friends) Why sure? Aye! Love to! About what? Who cares?
Sandy: You know, it's okay to be yourself, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: (tries to get his body back to normal, but struggles) Ima tryin', Sandy! Ima tryin'!
Sandy: You can do it, SpongeBob! Just concentrate, and it'll all come back to ya!
(SpongeBob takes a deep breath, but struggles to return back to normal. His friends start to cringe. SpongeBob's body morphs into various characters)
SpongeBob: (imitating various characters) Good morning, Gary! Meow. Duh! Me money. (laughs) Karate chop. Ha! I went to college! I SAID EAT YOUR PATTIES! (talks normally, but body is deformed) I can't do it! I'm a freak! A freak! (morphs into Plankton) A freak!
Plankton: Hey!
(SpongeBob, with a deformed face, cries and runs out of his house)
Patrick: That went well!
(Transition to night time. SpongeBob is hiding in a dark cave where he is morphed into an owl)
SpongeBob: Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who am I? (morphs into a question mark) Who am I? (morphs into a pineapple) I just can't remember. (morphs into Pearl) Who am I? (mimics Pearl) I just can't recall! (morphs into a handsome man again) Who am I to sing this somber song, when you got six heads, there's something wrong! (Morphs into his five friends) Who am I? Please tell me! (normal) Who am I? (imitates his five friends) Do you know me? (morphs into a female fish) My name could be Clementine... (morphs into Fred) or it could be Freddy! (morphs into two SpongeBobs) I just can't recognize myself, I don't know if I'm ready! (imitates his 5 friends in a barbershop quintet) I'm ready....(normal) Who am I? (morphs into male fish) I have a right to know. (morphs into his five friends again) Who am I? Am I friend....(mimics Plankton) or foe? (normal) I have so many features, it makes it hard to tell. I don't know what my first name is but my faces ring a bell. (mimics Squidward) Who am I? (mimics Mr. Krabs) Who am I? (mimics Patrick) Who am I? (mimics Plankton) Who am I? (back to normal) Who am I? (phone rings) Hello-o-o?
Caller: Hello. To whom am I speaking?
SpongeBob: I....don't...kno-o-ow!
(SpongeBob's face shrivels at the end of the song)
Mr. Krabs: The salty tear trail leads right in here.
Sandy: There he is!
(SpongeBob groans as his friends rush over to him)
Sandy: Are you all right, SpongeBob? How many fingers am I holding up?
(SpongeBob clenches and morphs into a letter B)
SpongeBob: B.
Patrick: Good, SpongeBob. I had the same answer.
Sandy: I KNOW you're in there somewhere, SquarePants.
(SpongeBob transforms into a telephone)
SpongeBob: We're sorry. The person you are calling, SpongeBob SquarePants, has been disconnected or is no longer in service.
Sandy: Okay, guys. SpongeBob imitates whoever he hears, so we've all got to imitate him to help him remember who he is. (pulls out a paintbrush with yellow paint on it) This should help! (Paints Mr. Krabs)
Mr. Krabs: Hey!
(Sandy then paints Squidward and Patrick)
Patrick: Mmm! Mmm...
(Sandy paints yellow paint on herself as well. Plankton tries to avoid the yellow paint but Sandy catches him)
Sandy: Ah, hold still, you little rascal!
(Sandy dips Plankton into yellow paint. Plankton then spits it out.)
Plankton: (sarcastically) What a great idea. Blegh!
Sandy: (imitating SpongeBob) I'm a square and yellow critter! (laughs like SpongeBob)
Patrick: (also imitating SpongeBob) I like cooking with lard! (laughs)
Mr. Krabs: (imitating SpongeBob as well) Mr. Krabs is the best boss in the whole ocean! (laughs like he normally does) Oops! Sorry, I mean- (laughs like SpongeBob)
Plankton: (imitating SpongeBob) I forgot the secret Krabby Patty formula, Mr. K. Would you remind me again?
Mr. Krabs: Sure, SpongeBob. I got it right--(normal) Oh no, you don't, Plankton! (squashes Plankton with the bottle) That was a pretty good impression, though.
Plankton: (squashed) Thanks.
(SpongeBob's body is still deformed. Sandy cringes)
Sandy: It's not working, fellers! We need to combine our efforts and do an impression of SpongeBob all at the same time! Okay, all together now!
All: (imitating SpongeBob) I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!
(SpongeBob's body is all out of control, but then he turns back into his normal state)
SpongeBob: I'm ready! I'm ready! I'M READY! (jumps in the air) I remember! I know who I am! I am SpongeBob SquarePants, and yes, I do like cooking with lard! (holds up a lard-covered spatula)
(SpongeBob's friends cheer for him)
SpongeBob: Thanks, guys. You're the best friends a guy with memory loss could ever have. It sure feels great to just be yourself, doesn't it guys? Guys?
(SpongeBob's friends all mimic and laugh like SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Oh no! Now they have "Mocking Mimicry Madness"! (laughs)
(As SpongeBob and his friends continue to laugh, two little Squidwards knock on Squidward's eyes)
Squidward: Let me out! Let me out!
End