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Shellback Shenanigans

(at Krusty Krab where SpongeBob flips the 'open' sign to 'closed')
SpongeBob: Good night, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Closing time already?
SpongeBob: I just served a Krabby Patty to the last customer.
Mr. Krabs: Well, have a good night, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, is it ok if I buy a Krabby Patty to go for my pet snail, Gary?
Mr. Krabs: I thought those things ate mostly kibble.
SpongeBob: It's a special treat just to get him ready for tomorrow.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, right. Okay, that makes-- wait, what's tomorrow?
SpongeBob: (gasps) Mr. Krabs, did you forget?
Mr. Krabs: Probably.
SpongeBob: Tomorrow is "bring your pet to work" day!
Mr. Krabs: I don't need a special day for that. Squidward's here every day.
Squidward: (standing by the door) Nice. (walks away) Real nice!
SpongeBob: Um, can I buy that patty?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure.
SpongeBob: Alright! Gary's gonna be so excited.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob, I almost forgot. The price is double for pets, because they're so special.
SpongeBob: Good idea. (puts some change on Mr. Krab's desk) Thanks again, Mr. Krabs! (exits then pops up in front of Mr. Krab's desk) Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa, what? (SpongeBob babbles) What? What?
SpongeBob: We're all out of krabby patties!
Mr. Krabs: Did you check the freezer?
SpongeBob: I checked the freezer, the spare freezer, the back-up freezer, the extra freezer, the rear freezer, the micro freezer, and the freezer under the stairs.
Mr. Krabs: What about the freezer in the attic?
SpongeBob: We don't have an attic.
Mr. Krabs: No attic?
SpongeBob: You sold it, remember?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah. (Plankton is spying on Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob with a telescope)
Plankton: Now what are they saying, Karen? Karen?
Karen: I have no idea.
Plankton: What? I thought you said you read lips.
Karen: I can, but you took away my telescope away. (Plankton lets Karen see through the telescope)
Mr. Krabs: Well, that settles it, SpongeBob. We're just gonna have to make a fresh batch of krabby patties.
SpongeBob: A fresh batch?
Mr. Krabs: That's what I said-- a fresh batch of Krabby Patties.
Plankton: Okay, now what's he saying?
Karen: He said that they're going to make a fresh batch of Krabby Patties.
Plankton: A fresh batch of-- Oh, this is good. This is really good.
SpongeBob: When are we making this fresh batch of Krabby Patties, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: What?
Plankton: Okay, what'd he just say?
Karen: What?
Plankton: I said what he just say?
Karen: He said, "What?"
Plankton: I have no idea. That's why I'm asking you what he just said.
Karen: I know that. And I'm saying he said, "what?"
Plankton: I know that! We-- Oh, he said, "What?"
Karen: Yes!
SpongeBob: Wow, a whole new fresh batch of Krabby Patties! Gary's gonna go crazy!
Mr. Krabs: You know, SpongeBob... (chuckles) It might not be such a good idea to bring your dirty snail into the kitchen. I think we just might want to reschedule "bring your pet to work" day.
SpongeBob: No! Mr. Krabs, I promise that Gary will be sparkly clean. I'll give him an extra-long bath tonight.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay, but make sure he's healthy, and clean.
Plankton: "Healthy and clean", "fresh batch" of Krabby Patties? Oh, I think I smell a plan. (cut to SpongeBob's house)
SpongeBob: Gary! (holding a greasy paper bag) I brought you a delicious treat.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: There you are Gar-bear. I brought you some kelp fries. (a plate with a bunch of fries falls out of the bag. Gary sniffs them) I was going to get you a Krabby Patty, but we ran out. I'll go get your bath ready while you enjoy those. (Gary runs away as SpongeBob is filling up the tub) Gary, your bath is ready! Gary? (eats a kelp fry) Gary? (walks in the kitchen) Gary! (sees Gary hiding under the counter) Gary, not again. Come out of there, it's dirty. (grabs Gary) Ha ha, gotcha! (tries to pull him but Gary is resisting) Come on, Gary, quit messing ar-- (Gary gets tossed into a potted plant on the top of the fridge and is now covered in dirt)
Gary: Meow meow.
SpongeBob: Great, Gary. Just great. Now you're gonna need an extra-extra-extra-extra-long bath. You're not going to come down from there, are you?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: (sighs) You win. We'll bathe you in the morning! (flicks off lights. Cut to next morning where there is a knock on the door and Gary opens it to a disguised Plankton carrying a suitcase)
Plankton: Good morning, sir! My name is Sheldon R. Shellcleaner, owner and operator of Super Shellcleaner Vacations Unlimited. Can I ask you a question? Are you tired of your dirty shell resulting in tireless hours of--
SpongeBob: (off-screen) Gary, I'm going to start the bath!
Plankton: Look, I'll just cut to the chase. Do you have a dirty shell and hate bath time?
Gary: Meow.
Plankton: Of course you do. That's why I must tell you about or limited-time offer for not four, not three, but one luxurious night... here at Club Shell, a perfect resort for snails. (opens up suitcase and shows a promo for it) Don't try to pinch yourself, this could be...
SpongeBob: (off-screen) Gary! The bath is ready!
Plankton: ...all yours. Now I know what you're thinking but I've got you covered. A temporary shell will be provided for you to wear while yours is being cleaned. And all of this is free of charge, of course.
SpongeBob: (off-screen) Gary, your bath is ready! (Gary puts on the other shell and jets out of the house)
Plankton: Have a pleasant stay. Bon Voyage! (closes the door and gets into Gary's shell, wearing an antenna of snail eyes) If my reasoning is correct, as SpongeBob's pet, I'll get to witness Krabby Patties being made from scratch. Then I can copy the formula and destroy Krabs once and for all.
SpongeBob: (walks up to Plankton, in Gary's shell) A-ha, there you are, Gar-bear. (heads up the stairs) Oh, you naughty little snail, hiding from me. I'm gonna give you a real good scrubbin'. You have to be sparkly clean for "bring your pet to work" day. (drops Gary in the tub) And today is the day! First, I'll start you off with a yummy smelling shower gel.
Plankton: Wha...? (gets shower gel in his mouth)
SpongeBob: Ah, smells nice, doesn't it? (Plankton groans. SpongeBob grabs him) Prepare yourself for the scrubbing of a lifetime! (scrubs Gary's shell back and forth on the top of his head)
Plankton: Aah!
SpongeBob: Bet that feels good, huh?
Plankton: (coughs and blows raspberries) Curses! I mean... meow.
SpongeBob: Gary, are you sure you're feeling all right?
Plankton: I've never felt better. I mean... meow. (soap washes off to reveal a green body)
SpongeBob: Gary, you're turning green and talking.
Plankton: No, I'm not.
SpongeBob: (running down the stairs with Gary in his arms) We gotta get you to the pet hospital.
Plankton: Pet hospital? But what about the fresh batch of Krabby Patties? I mean, meow.
SpongeBob: You're right. I'll call Mr. Krabs and tell him I'm gonna be late. Gary, you're a lot more talkative when you're sick. (cut to hospital) Excuse me, nurse? My pet has been talking and turning green, is he sick? (nurse looks at Plankton)
Plankton: Meow? (nurse shrieks in horror and whimpers)
SpongeBob: Is that yes or no?
Nurse #1: I have never seen such a drastic case. Rush this snail into the intensive care unit, stat!
Plankton: Intensive care unit?
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Gary, these are professionals. (cut to Plankton being on a bed. A computer beeps behind him)
Plankton: Karen! Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else.
Nurse #1: (Walks in the room) Don't worry, we're just going to subject you to a series of invasive tests. (shines a light on Plankton) It'll be over before you know it. (nurse closes curtain as machinery is being used. Plankton screams. SpongeBob is panting outside the room)
Nurse #2: Sir, all the doctor is saying is that your snail is still in the intensive care unit, and we just need to run a couple more tests.
Doctor: (to nurse) That's what I'm not saying at all.
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary! (sobs)
Doctor: (to SpongeBob) Yes, I'll be honest with you, son. We've tried everything we can. We just can't find anything wrong with him. I've never seen anything like it.
SpongeBob: Please try to save him, doctor. (cut back to Plankton who is asleep until the nurse walks in)
Plankton: No! No more, please.
Nurse #1: Relax, Gary, the tests are over. I'm just here to give you a little pill.
Plankton: Whew, that's a relief.
Nurse #1: (takes out a giant pill) Now open wide. (Plankton chokes on the pill but swallows it)
Nurse #1: That wasn't so bad, was it? (Plankton still has the pill in his mouth. He's gurgling and spits out bubbles and deflates himself) That's not good. (cut back to SpongeBob where the nurse wheels in Plankton, who is covered in bandages) Uh, Mr. SquarePants?
SpongeBob: Gary!
Nurse #1: The doctors says there's nothing more we can do. It's best to take him home and let nature take its course.
SpongeBob: Y-you're saying that he's-- that he might-- Oh. (nurse walks away) Nurse? Nurse? Oh well, Gary, this looks like it might be... (sniffles) the end. (sobs)
Plankton: If I could just have a... (coughs) Krabby Patty before I go.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, little buddy. Sure. You know, it's-- it's really poignant.
Plankton: What is?
SpongeBob: Well, now that you can talk, we're... we're running out of time to say "I love you!" (cries)
Plankton: Oh, boy. (cut to the bus from Club Shell driving through the streets)
Tour Organizer: So once again, we're like to thank you for choosing Club Shell. And we hope to see you again real soon. (Gary sees SpongeBob walking over to the Krusty Krab with Plankton in his shell)
SpongeBob: Just a little further, Gar-bear.
Plankton: Yes! (Gary growls and then pulls the emergency stop cord and gets off the bus)
SpongeBob: Buddy, you just stay right here, and daddy's gonna go get the secret formula and whip you up the best batch that we ever whipped up. Be right back, Gar-bear. (walks off sad)
Plankton: Yes, Sponge-fool, come back with your complete undoing, and victory will be mine! (Gary slithers up to Plankton and growls)
Plankton: Mommy. (Gary fights Plankton) Hey, wait! Ow! (Mr. Krabs notices Plankton running out of the kitchen and the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Plankton? (Gary snorts, turns around, and lifts up his tail) Hmm. (cut to Gary being a bouncer outside the Krusty Krab) Meow. (customer goes in) Meow. (customer goes in. A purple fish, disguised as Plankton, walks up)
Plankton: Good day, sir. I'm just here to sample some of your delicious Krabby fare. (Gary Growls) Whoa, there, fido. (Plankton screams out of his disguise and runs away) I'm going! I'm going already!
SpongeBob: Wow, Gary's doing a great job as bouncer, huh, Mr. Krabs? Really earning his pay.
Mr. Krabs: Well, he takes after you, boy. Pay?!
End