Back

Mooncation

---Prologue---
Patrick: So why are we going to Sandy's house?
SpongeBob: To see her vacation slides for the- (the door opens, knocking the two out. Two chimp agents walk out with the slides)
Chimp Agent: We've got the slides, sir.
Patrick: Who? What? Why?
Sandy: (takes them inside) Those two agents from the Zero Dryland Security just confiscated all my vacation slides, boys. Or so they think. (sits them down in their seats) You see, someone already made a secret copy. (SpongeBob raises his hand) Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Who is this someone? Do we know him?
Sandy: By "someone", I was implying me, SpongeBob. (Patrick raises his hand) Yes, Patrick?
Patrick: Could you not imply, anymore? It's confusing.
Sandy: (SpongeBob raises his hand. Sandy ropes SpongeBob and Patrick together) Okay, no more questions until the end of the slideshow, okay? (SpongeBob and Patrick nod. Sandy starts the slideshow) Good. This first slide is of me takking last-minute readings before I took off on my vacation. And this is me giving the "Thumbs-Up, Goodbye for Now" salute. And this... this is where a little square pal of mine decided to pay me a visit.

(opens to SpongeBob running to Sandy's house)
SpongeBob: I'm ready to see Sandy! I'm ready to see Sandy! I'm ready to see Sandy! I'm ready to ring Sandy's doorbell! (rings the doorbell. Ground shakes) Sandy...! (a rocket emerges from beneath) Whoa.
Sandy: What do you think of my moon wagon?
SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I activated it. How was I to know it was hooked up to your doorbell?
Sandy: Oh, no, SpongeBob. That's what you call a "coincidence". I'm getting ready for my vacation.
SpongeBob: Where are you going?
Sandy: The moon!
SpongeBob: (gasps) You're going on a moon trip?
Sandy: Yep. I'm all packed up and ready to go. Wanna help me...
SpongeBob: I'll be right back!
Sandy: ...load up the moon wagon? (sighs)
(cut to the bakery)
SpongeBob: Morning, Mr. Bakerman. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. I have to pick a number. (struggles to pull a number ticket and gets tangled up)
Baker: (sighs) Number 12.
SpongeBob: Yes, I'm Number 12.
Baker: What can I get for you today?
SpongeBob: I need a bon voyage sheet cake. (baker takes out a sheet cake) Could you put yummy words on it? Hmm... what would those yummy words be? I got it! "Have fun on the moon...". What rhymes with "moon"? Tune? Roon? Noon? Goon?
Baker: How about "loon"?
SpongeBob: I got it! "See you soon"!
(SpongeBob runs back over to the treedome with the cake. The rocket is about to launch)
Man: T-minus 12... 11... 10... 9... 8...
SpongeBob: No, Sandy! Wait! You can't go without your sheet cake! (grabs the ladder and falls inside) Whoa!
Sandy: SpongeBob? What in cold chicken and pickles are you doing in my ship?
SpongeBob: (panting) I went to get you a... so I went to the... and then I got you a... and then T-minus something... and-
Man: Launch commencing.
Sandy: Nevermind. Can't stop the countdown, now. Better strap yourself down. Looks like you're going on a mooncation.
SpongeBob: I am? Whoo! Moon trip! Moon trip! Moon trip!
(rocket blasts off)
SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Sandy? Hey, Sandy...
Sandy: Uh, I'm kinda busy here, SpongeBob. Gotta recalculate to account for the extra weight.
SpongeBob: Oh, I just wanted to show you the...
Sandy: Brace for the afterburners! (turns on afterburners. Rocket blasts off further. Into space) What were you saying, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh I- brought you a bon voyage sheet cake.
Sandy: You can't bring regular food into space!
SpongeBob: Wh- wh- wh- why not?
Sandy: Because, as we leave Earth's gravity, everything becomes weightless, and any uncontained food will float off in all directions.
SpongeBob: Oh. Is that a bad thing?
Sandy: Only if it gets sucked into the reverse spatial linearity drive. (the pieces of cake float inside of it. The rocket engine sputters and shuts off) Ah nuts.
SpongeBob: Oops. Sorry, Sandy.
Sandy: Well, it's a good thing I've brought my (presses "Toss" button, and gets flung in a giant suit) special space suit designed for just this kind of situation. Now, try not to file anything else up while I'm saving our necks. (goes outside the rocket) Aha. There's our problem. (opens the linearity drive door, and cleans the cake out) Eh, could've used more nuts. (goes back inside) Okay. I've got her up and running, again. Now, can you please sit with your hands folded for a while, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Roger that. Folding hands.
Sandy: Now, get ready for lunar module se-
SpongeBob: (hands folded like an origami-esque duck) What do you think, Sandy?
Sandy: Just don't touch anything while we seperate.
SpongeBob: Okay.
(rocket detaches from propulsion system)
Sandy: That looks like a good spot. (lands rocket of the moon surface)
(cut. A camp site is set up)
Sandy: Alright, SpongeBob. Now that our camp is set up, (takes out snowboards) it's time for some moon crater boarding.
SpongeBob: What's moon crater boarding?
Sandy: It's simple. You ride these on that like this. (rides her snowboard on the crater) Yee-haw! Right here is the Flip-a-Dee-Do-Dah. (flips her board in midair) Right there is the classic Texas tail grab. (grabs tail, and stretches it in the shape of Texas) And this I call the 7-20 Nut Drop. (spins. Carves an asteroid into an acorn. Eats it) Munchy! And let's not forget my grandpappy's favorite: The Tour to Saturn. (lies down on Saturn's rings) Star gazer! Yee-haw! Nothing like extreme sports and zero gravity! Alright, your turn.
SpongeBob: Oh, gee Sandy. I don't know. This looks kinda scary.
Sandy: Oh, come on, SpongeBob. You got this. It's a can of corn.
SpongeBob: I don't know what corn is, but I sure like cans. Alright, I'll give it a try. (jumps and floats off into space) Sandy, this doesn't seem right.
Sandy: Uh oh. Looks like SpongeBob's too light to lunar gravity. SpongeBob, grab a hold of this! (gets rope, lassos a moon rock, and throws to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: (catches it) Okay. (the rock pushes SpongeBob back down. SpongeBob starts screaming and surfing the craters)
Sandy: Wow, SpongeBob. What do you call that trick? (SpongeBob screams again) Interesting. Maybe you can teach me how to do a "Waah!"
SpongeBob: (resumes screaming. Surfs across a satellite) Hey, this is kind of fun. (leaps, and bounces off the solar panel, causing it to shorten out)
(cut to Patrick watching TV)
Frankie: (on TV) Carol, your real father is- (TV goes static)
Patrick: Hey! Who's Carol's real father?!
(cut back to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Watch this Sandy! (ties rock to his helmet with his shoelace) Alright. A no-look... let's see... a one-footed, tongue-out, flip, leg up- (crashes into the rocket's fuel tank, which starts leaking) smash into the side of the rocket.
Sandy: You did great, SpongeBob. But, you should call your trick the "no-look, one-footed, tongue-out, flip, leg up, puncture the fuel tank on the rocket".
SpongeBob: Oops.
Sandy: Come on, SpongeBob. We gotta get while there's still enough fuel to make it home!
SpongeBob: (gasps) Wait! I have to do something very important! (sets up camera. Takes picture of himself "holding the Earth") There.
(they both get inside the rocket, which takes off)
SpongeBob: So, we are going to make it, are we Sandy?
Sandy: If the fuel holds out, there's no reason to panic. (rocket fuel runs on empty. Rocket starts falling at high speed) Without the engines, we've lost all control. (gasps) We're coming in too steep!
SpongeBob: Is that bad?
Sandy: (unbuckles seatbelt and evacuates) Only if you consider being consumed in a giant fireball bad.
SpongeBob: Well, in that case, I won't- giant fireball?! (unbuckles seatbelt and hits wall) Sandy, where are you going?
Sandy: I'm going to take this bull by the horns! (gets rope out. Lassos the nose of the rocket. Rocket begins to catch fire as it picks up speed)
SpongeBob: Are we gonna get consumed in a giant fireball?
Sandy: Not if I can keep her nose up we aren't. Hang on. It's gonna get bumpy when we hit the atmosphere.
(the rocket falls faster and faster. SpongeBob grabs the door and screams)
Sandy: Yee-haw!
SpongeBob: My goodness! (screams)
Sandy: Yee-haw! YEE-HAW! (rocket lands with a hard crash)
SpongeBob: Oh... oh my gosh! Sandy! Sandy are you okay? (Sandy moans) Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I ruined your vacation.
Sandy: Ruined? Oh, heck no! That was the most fun I've had in a toad's age! Once I get my rocket fixed, you and me is headin' to Mars. Now, let's go grab another one of them sheet cakes. (they both laugh)
End