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Stuck in the Wringer

(scene opens showing SpongeBob in the shower)
SpongeBob: (scrubs himself with soap) La-la-la-la-la, getting clean, do-do-do, (scrubs his nose and eyes) Oh, what a delightful day it is to get-(drops the soap) (slow-motion) No....
(the soap hits the floor)
SpongeBob: Good thing I have a spare. (squeezes it out of its package) I still have one more thing to clean. (he cleans his brain, which shines and has a smiley face)
SpongeBob: (puts soap back on the soap dish, turns the water off, and goes through his wringer)
SpongeBob: Oh, what would I do without you, wringer? (he pats it) Guess I'd be all wet. (he laughs and puts his clothes on)
SpongeBob: And now I'm ready to go to work! (he slips on the soap, and lands in the bathtub) Ah, you gotta be more careful, Squarepants. (he knocks the soap off of the soap dish) You always gotta be watching out. Watching out for...things. Things like-(he almost steps on the soap) Like that! Oh, yeah, I saw ya. Not gonna fool me this time, soap. (the soap frowns) (he steps on the rubber duck, which squeaks, scaring him, causing him to slip on the soap and get stuck in his wringer)
SpongeBob: (struggles to get out, tries to turn the handle with his tongue, but it just breaks off, hitting him in the eye) This is not going well. (groans)
Patrick: (comes in) Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen my rubber ducky?
SpongeBob: Oh, is that it? (points to it)
Patrick: (picks it up) I found you! Pretty duck! (laughs) Quack, quack, quack!
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, I hate to interrupt your reunion, but I kind of need your help over here.
Patrick: What do you need, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Well, I'm kind of stuck, if you know what I-
Patrick: Stuck? I can help with that. (he pulls off his skin, takes out a bottle of "Forever Glue", and puts it on SpongeBob)
Patrick: There you go, buddy. Now you're stuck forever!
SpongeBob: Gee, thanks, Patrick. Now I'm stuck f-f-forever? (he struggles to get out) Patrick, I wanted to get unstuck, not more stuck. How am I gonna get to work if I'm stuck here forever? (he struggles again) Must get out of here! (screams)
Patrick: Hmm. (he rips the wringer off of the floor, standing SpongeBob up) There. Is that better?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. How am I supposed to flip patties like this?
Patrick: Okay, you know what, Squarepants? That's quitter talk. And are you a quitter?
SpongeBob: No.
Patrick: And are you gonna let this wringer get between you and your passion? (a flag with a Krabby Patty on it appears in back of them) Those sweet tomatoes, crisp onions? Are ya, SpongeBob?!
SpongeBob: No. I won't let it get between me and crisp onions, sweet tomatoes, crisp lettuce, a flame-broiled patty, a warm bun sprinkled with sesame seeds served with a smile that says, "Hey! I care!" I'm ready!
Patrick: That's the spirit!
SpongeBob: Whoo! (he crashes into the wall and falls down the stairs) Don't worry, Patrick. My spirits are still high.
(bubble transition to SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab, where he uses a spatula attached to the wringer, and kicks the box of toppings to fall on the patty)
SpongeBob: Hello, perfectly made Krabby Patty. Order up!
Squidward: It's about time. (he notices SpongeBob, who has put the bottle of mustard in one of his holes, and laughs at him) Hey, SpongeBob, love the outfit. Where'd you get it, the hardware store? (laughs) Hardware jokes.
SpongeBob: (laughs) Hardware store. No, my bathroom.
Squidward: Well, I must say, it really completes your imbecile look. Way to go, buddy. (he gives him a thumbs up)
SpongeBob: Aw, thanks, pal. (he returns the thumbs up and accidentally squirts the mustard in Squidward's eyes, causing him to scream in pain, and his eyes to shrivel off and fall on the Krabby Patty)
SpongeBob: Oh! Squidward! (Squidward falls into the cashier station, and SpongeBob jumps in after him) Are you okay, Squidward?
Squidward: Please, just get away from me.
Fish: Uh, excuse me? Can I have a refill on my soda? Oh
SpongeBob: Oh, a refill! (he knocks the cash register on the fish's foot)
Fish: Oh! Oh, my foot! Oh, my foot! (he crashes into a table) Oh, my back! Oh, my back! (he crashes into another table) My face.
SpongeBob: Don't worry, sir! I'm coming! (he gets caught in the microphone, opens the cash register, and gets stuck in one of the poles) Don't worry, everybody. I'm oka-(he notices the customers taking the money and screams) Hey, don't touch Mr. Krab's money!
Mr. Krabs: (comes out of his office) Me money! What do you think you're doing? That ain't yours. Thank you very much. When I get my hands on that boy...
(SpongeBob struggles to get out, and crashes into the customers and Mr. Krabs, who he knocks into the wall)
SpongeBob: Here, Mr. Krabs. I'll help.
Mr. Krabs: Help?! I think you've help quite enough today! (brings SpongeBob outside) And don't even think of coming back here till that destructive device of yours is gone! (he throws SpongeBob, who lands in front of Patrick)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. How was work?
SpongeBob: Oh, an absolute disaster. I can't do anything without this stupid wringer getting in the way. Patrick, I am nothing more than a bike rack. A sad, sad, sad, sad little bike rack. (a fish chains his bike to the wringer and leaves. SpongeBob starts to cry)
Patrick: (picks him up) Hey! Don't you go crying on me. Crying never solves anything. I know what always makes you feel better.
(bubble transition to Super Weenie Hut Jr's, where SpongeBob and Patrick are eating ice cream)
SpongeBob: You were right. Ice cream always makes me feel better.
Patrick: Dig in. (he starts eating)
SpongeBob: (tries to eat, but it gets stuck at the wringer) I can't even eat ice cream now! This dumb wringer's in the way!
Patrick: Bummer. Hey, you know what? Forget this place. Let's go to the carnival. That's the funnest spot in the ocean. (he finishes SpongeBob's ice cream)
(bubble transition to the carnival)
Patrick: Look, the ball toss!
Carnival Worker: Step right up, folks. Toss a ball, hit the cans, and win a stuffed seahorse.
Patrick: We wanna play!
Carnival Worker: Sure, give her your best shot.
Patrick: Thanks! (he throws a ball and knocks all the cans down) Whoo! Now you try.
(SpongeBob throws the ball, but it hits the side, bounces off, and gives him a black eye)
Patrick: Whoa! Oh, the spinning steering wheels! Oh, we gotta do that!
SpongeBob: I don't know. I have too much eye pain.
Patrick: Oh, come on! Oh, how many times does the carnival come to town? (they pass a sign that says "Carnival Always Here!")
(they climb in the spinning ride)
Patrick: Ready? (SpongeBob can't steer, and Patrick steers extra fast, throwing SpongeBob out of the ride)
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, dear Neptune, why?!
(bubble transition to Patrick walking to a beat up SpongeBob)
Patrick: Hey, pal, want some of my cotton candy? They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament. I got this, too. (he shows a ribbon pinned to him) Check it out.
SpongeBob: Yeah, that's nice, Patrick, but I don't want any cotton candy.
Patrick: Well, have some. It'll make you feel better
SpongeBob: I said I don't want any! (he knocks the cotton candy to the ground)
Patrick: You ruined my cotton candy!
SpongeBob: Good! Maybe you know how I feel about you ruining my life!
Carnival Worker: Check it out! Public fight!
Carnival Worker #2: Working at the carnival sure has its perks!
SpongeBob: I've never felt so ashamed!
Patrick: What do you mean?
SpongeBob: If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!
Patrick: I was only trying to help.
SpongeBob: Help?! I think you've helped quite enough today!
Patrick: Okay, if that's how you feel. I won't help you anymore! (he runs away, crying, and the crowd gives SpongeBob the eyeball)
SpongeBob: (laughs nervously) Lot of drama with that one.
Fish: You know, kid, your body isn't the problem. It's your heart.
SpongeBob's Heart: (sadly) Huh? Oh...
Fish: You deserve what you've gotten. Come on, we're out of here. (the crowd leaves)
(bubble transition to Patrick's rock opening, showing him brushing his teeth)
Patrick: Forget SpongeBob. I don't need him. (he brushes his underarm, his bellybutton, and eats the toothbrush) I can do whatever I want.
Patrick: (hops out of his rock) I don't need him. (he reaches out to SpongeBob's house, and stops himself) Fight it. You're not his friend anymore. I gotta try to keep myself occupied so I don't think about Spongeb-(he claps his hands over his mouth)
I'm not even gonna say his name! What to do, what to do...(snaps fingers) I know! I'll have a staring contest. (he does so, a tumbleweed rolls by, and he blinks) Fiddlesticks! That game's too hard.
Thought bubble Patrick: Well, maybe if SpongeBob were here, he could give you pointers.
Patrick: Who asked you?! Forget it. I'll just play fetch. (he throws a coral branch which lands at SpongeBob's door) Where is it, where is it? Gotcha! (he listens at SpongeBob's door)
SpongeBob okay? Oh, what do I care? I'm no longer supposed to help. Buddy! (he breaks down the door) SpongeBob?
(SpongeBob has stubble and is sitting in the darkened living room)
Patrick: SpongeBob? (sees TV) Hey, whatcha watching?
SpongeBob: My favorite show.
(the TV is just gray static, and then burns up)
SpongeBob: (laughs weakly) I love that part.
Patrick: SpongeBob, snap out of it! It's me, your best friend Patrick.
SpongeBob: What's that? I can't hear you what with all the lonely voices in my head.
Patrick: Oh, man, he's too far gone.
SpongeBob: Not fit to live in society.
Patrick: This is all my fault! (holds the glue up) Me and my dumb ideas! I'm so sorry. (a tear falls off his cheek, and lands on the glue, letting SpongeBob pull his arm out)
SpongeBob: Patrick! Your tears. They're melting the glue. Keep crying. I'll do the same, and maybe I can slip out of this thing.
(they both start crying, causing the glue to melt, and SpongeBob slips out of the wringer)
SpongeBob: Look, it worked!
Both: All right! (SpongeBob throws the wringer in the air)
SpongeBob: I guess crying does solve your problems after all. Come here, buddy. (they hug, and the wringer falls on them)
Patrick: Well, at least we're together. Heh. Uh, should I get the glue?
End