Sandy Stevie/Rise and Sombrero/Drive-Thru Woes

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Music playing: SpongeBob is a Katamari music (If you can't hear it: Katamari Damacy theme song)

Painty: Are you ready, kids?
Kids: Aye aye, captain!
Painty: I can't hear you!
Kids: (louder) Aye aye, captain!

*the camera pans down from Bikini Attol into the ocean (using the same effect from the move) and into various film reels, displaying clips of the character whose name is displayed*

SpongeBuddy Mania Presents
*various images from the actual show*

An SBM Original Fan Series
*various images from the eighth and ninth seasons*

Starring
SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: (holding a diamond ring) Diamond rings falling from the sky?! Has the world gone mad?!

Patrick Star
Patrick: (dressed in a beanie cap and orange/white-striped shirt) I don't even know who I am anymore‼

Stevie the Jellyfish
Stevie: I got my sand right here! (dumps a litterbox over himself)

Sandy Cheeks
Sandy: This is stranger then an antelope chewing a rattlesnake's tail.

Squidward Tentacles
Squidward: From now on, I want to be called Squidwealth Tentacash. No, wait. Too corny.

and Eugene Krabs
Mr. Krabs: (dressed by a hip-hop rapper) Well, am I in the his-house now?

With
Producer Randy
Mrs. Puff
Pearl Krabs
Scooter

And
Gary the Snail
Freddie the Snail
Coral the Snail
Polar Bear the Snail
All snails: Meow.

*various images from the tenth season*

In assosciation with
Invision Power Services

Executive Producer
Tristin-Z

Stevie: Wait a minute, what? We're doing a theme song now? Hows come I didn't know about this? I didn't get a memo or anything! Why doesn't anybody around here tell me about stuff anymore?! (walking offscreen) Hey! I wanna go talk to my agent! (pause) What? I don't have an agent? (pause) Huh? What cue cards?

*traiditional SB theme song ending (Painty laughing/SpongeBob playing his nose/ocean waves)*

SpongeBob SquarePants Created by
Stephen Hillenburg

Rated: TV-Y7-FV.

Written by
Douglas-Z

Directed by
Douglas-Z

Original Story by
Douglas-Z

Executive Producer
Tristin-Z

The camera panned through the windy mounds of Sand Mountain.

Narrator: Sand Mountain. The underwater thrill-seeker's closest expierience to the ultimate roller-coaster of death, or for some, a simple kiddie ride.

In the parking lot, SpongeBob's boatmobile parked in front of the entrance. SpongeBob and Patrick stepped out.

SpongeBob: Ah, Sand Mountain. A breeze of memories. A cascade of pleasures.
Patrick: A one-way ticket to pain.
SpongeBob: That's the spirit, Patrick! Are you almost ready in there, Stevie?
Stevie: (from inside) Oh, yeah!

He walked out of the boatmobile, holding a litterbox full of sand over his head.

Stevie: I got my sand right here! (dumps the litterbox all over himself) The world is my oyster!
SpongeBob: Um, Stevie?
Stevie: Yeah.
SpongeBob: That's not the kind of sand I was talking about.
Stevie: Oh.
SpongeBob: (drags Stevie over to get a better view, people are seen getting injured in hostile skiing accidents) I was talking about this sand! Sand Mountain! Mounds of excitement! Hills of thrill!
Stevie: Mountains of pain?
SpongeBob: Exactly!
Patrick: (sniffs) Ew, what's in that sand of yours anyway?
Stevie: Huh? Oh, this isn't really sand.

SpongeBob and Patrick's eyes widened. They slowly backed away.

Stevie: (walks with them) What?

They walked up to the entrance booth.

Booth clerk: Tickets, please.

SpongeBob and Patrick handed him their tickets.

Stevie: (searching his person) Huh? Where's my ticket? Where's my ticket?! (starts breathing heavily like SpongeBob did in Missing Identity)
SpongeBob: (snaps his fingers) Stevie! (Stevie stops) I have your ticket right here! (pulls out his ticket and hands it to the man)
Stevie: Oh. Okay.

They walked through the booth.

Booth clerk: Hey, no weapons at the skiing grounds!
SpongeBob: Huh?

The booth clerk pointed to the back of Stevie's pants. A buthcer's knife was sticking out from his back pocket.

Stevie: (laughs nervously) Now, how did that get in there? (pulls it out and tosses it into a nearby sand pile) It must be Producer Randy's. Heh heh.

*butcher's knife transition to next scene*

Next scene name: Mt. Death Slide!

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Awesome opening title sequence. So was the sand part.

 

[Banoon]

Awww... I thought this was gonna be about a romance between Sandy and Stevie

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Awww... I thought this was gonna be about a romance between Sandy and Stevie

How did you figure that? Sandy's with SpongeBob and Stevie's with Gabby.

Fancy Mess is the Stevie romance one. >_<

Scene number: 2
Scene name: The Sand Mountain Four-Slice Challenge!

SpongeBob: (over the views of such mountains) Mt. Drinking Glass! Fireball Slope! Flounder Hill! Guppy Mound! The Douglas-Z‼
Stevie: (as they're walking) How many slopes are there in this freakin' mountain?
Patrick: (reading a sign) "Number of Slides in This Freakin' Mountain: Enough For You to Become Hospitalized for Seven Months".
Stevie: Cool! I wanna ride all of them! Hospital beneifts! The extreme adrenaline! Helloooo nurse!
Patrick: (holding himself) You know what I wanna ride?
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: The bathroom!
Stevie: (pointing) It's right over there.

The camera pans to The Bathroom, which is literally a slope. We see a guy skiing down the slope and into a Port-a-Potty placed at the end of the slope. The door slammed shut and we heard a flush inside. There was a long line for the sloe. Homestar Runner was amongst the line.

Patrick: Oh, come on!

SpongeBob and Stevie until they stopped to find a long line. Strong Bad was amongst this line.

Stevie: Hey, what's everybody in line for?
Guy in line: Why, to register for the Sand Mountain Four-Slice Challenge, of course!
SpongeBob: Don't you mean Four-Slide Challenge?
Guy in line: No. It says it right there.

He pointed to the sign. Someone clearly crossed out the "d" in "Slide" and wrote a "c" over it, making it "Slice".

Stevie: (walking over to the sign) Hm, he's right. You gotta respect the sign's authority there, bubs.
Guy in line: You see, the challenge consists of four individual slopes you have to conquer. (Click here for a line sketch of the four slopes.) In order to win the challenge, you have to make a successful landing on all four slopes and get a successful rating from all the judges.

The three judges (sitting at a fencepost in front of the slopes) were Scooter, Sandy, and Kevin, a repeat of the gag from Clash of the Clarinets so long ago.

We see the I Can Explain Guy from Pre-Hibernation Week at the top of the Mountain of Doomly Destructive Death. He is getting ready to ski down. He brushed up the ski poles, allowing for him to ski down the slope. However, as the slope was at a 75o angle, he immediately lost control.

I Can Explain Guy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

He plummeted down and landed behind the fencepost. A huge explosion followed.

Scooter's card: 2.1
Sandy's card: 5.9
Kevin's card: 0.00001
Guy in line: (to SpongeBob and Stevie) Since nobody has ever succeeded the challenge before, the judges no longer have any cards that go higher then 5.

An ambulance pulled over and the two drivers opened the fence door, revealing the Guy in his typical kiddie uniform.

I Can Explain Guy: Uhh...I can explain.
Kevin on Loudspeaker: The registration for the Sand Mountain Four-Slice Challenge, sponsored by the Miss Tuffsy Memorial Hospital, is now open...losers.
Guy in line: Obviously, the fact that the challenge is sponsored by a hospital really says a lot about it.
Stevie: What do you get if you win?
Guy in line: Well, since they spent all the money on injuries at this park, the best thing they could afford was...mittens.

We indeed see a rugged pair of mittens sitting at the judges' table, with a tag saying, "Prize" on it.

SpongeBob: Mittens?
Stevie: Wow, mittens! The ultimate prize! I must win that challenge!
Patrick: Me too! I wanna feel the wind through my nose!
Stevie: What nose?

*bubble transition to next scene*

Next scene name: Patrick Fails

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

BEST PRIZE EVER! :P

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

BTW, here is a line sketch of the four slopes that I forgot to add in the previous scene.

Scene number: 3
Scene name: Patrick Fails

Slope #1: Not-Even-a-Mound Mound

As its name and sketch suggested, Not-Even-a-Mound Mound was no more then a simple pile of sand that probably didn't even measure up to 2 ft. You'd have to be a real idiot to fail this slope.

Patrick: Extreme!

He brushed his ski poles...and then slammed into the ground head-first.

A creepy-looking guy with short yet wild hair and demented eyes walked over.

Creepy-looking guy: You fail! You fail, you fail, you fail... (in Patrick's "face") FAILURE‼

*bubble transition*

Now Stevie was on Not-Even-a-Mound Mound. He brushed up his ski poles and slowly slid down.

Stevie: Woo-hoo!

Slope #2: The Curry Slide

SpongeBob: (to Kevin) Are you sure it's not, "The Curvy Slide"?
Kevin: No. It says it right there.

He pointed to the sign. Someone clearly crossed out "Curvy" and put "Curry".

SpongeBob: Oh, for crying out loud!

Stevie brushed up his ski poles and slid down.

Stevie: (as he slides down) Whooaaaa. (after he lands) Hang on. I wanna try that again. (redos the slope a couple of times) Okay, I'm done.

Slope #3: They Would Never Ski That!
(LOL @ inside reference :clap: )

Sandy: Seriously, though. It completely defies the laws of physics and gravity, and so does anyone who goes down it.
Kevin: Shut up, already.

Indeed, floating upside down in mid-air, and requiring the skiier to ski "up" the hill (see sketch), Issac Newton had nothing on this slope.

Stevie stood straight on the top of the slope, as if it was on the ground right-side up.

Stevie: Wow, all the blood's rushing to my head now.

He brushed up his ski poles, skiied "up" the slope, and made a smooth landing...in mid-air. Everyone cheered.

Stevie: So...how do I get down from here?

Slope #4: Total Doom and Death

SpongeBob: Wow, the last slope. Stevie's got this challenge in a bag.
Guy form the line: Eh, don't get your hopes up. Total Doom and Death is the one most people fail at. Nobody has ever gotten past it, and thus, nobody has ever won the challenge and claimed those mittens. Take a look at last year's archive footage.

He pointed to a television monitor sitting up on on a pole. It showed the creepy-looking guy who repeatedly told Patrick that he fails moments ago, except now his face wasn't disfigured and he looked more like a normal person.

He brushed up his ski poles and slid down. However, the intense speed of the 106o slope overwhelmed him, and he screamed ear-shatteringly as he slid down. A huge explosion occured when he landed. The fencepost obscured the landing, so we never got to see what happened.

He then stepped out from the door, now looking like his present-day disfigured self.

Creepy-looking guy: I failed! I failed, I failed, I failed... FAILURE‼ (breathes heavily)
*screen shuts off*
Guy in line: Poor fella hasn't been the same since. Plus, they couldn't decide whether to call it, "Slope of Doom", "Total Destruction", or "Mountain of Death", so they combined all the names together.
SpongeBob: Wow.

Stevie was on top of Total Doom and Death.

Stevie: Okay. (takes a deep breath) I can do this. Just...ignore the fact that I'm more then 50 feet off the ground, ignore the fear of heights...Ignore it...

He "closed his eyes" (don't ask me how >_< ), brushed up his poles, and slid down. Eventually, it was so intense, he screamed loudly as he slid down. Finally, he landed with a huge explosion.

SpongeBob: (runs up to the fence door) Stevie!
Creepy-looking guy: Excuse me a moment. (walks through the door; from inside) You fail! You fail, you fail, you fail...

*explosion transition to next scene*

Next scene name: Depression...and a Failure of Curry

 

[JaAm]

I can't imagin SB saying things like that,

This fic Fails >_<

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Awesome slopes. Caught your fan-fic reference. And Patrick's part was genius.

 

[Band Geek]

Awesome fic as usual. (Can't believe I haven't commented yet.)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I can almost hear Strong Bad voicing that guy from the line. Is that on purpose?

 

[SBManiac!!!!!!]

I can't imagin SB saying things like that,

This fic Fails

YOU Fail. ;( :fail:


Creepy-looking guy: You fail! You fail, you fail, you fail... FAILURE‼

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Trudge, trudge, trudge, trudge, trudge... *breathes heavily* Must...keep...trudging...until...new computer...hooked up...

Scene number: 4
Scene name: A Failure of Curry

Slope #2: The Curry Slide

Patrick stood on top of The Curry Slide, having conquered Not-Even-A-Mound Mound. He firmly planted his skiis.

Patrick: (to the judges) Give me a minute, okay? (closes his eyes and takes a deep breath; whispering) I can do this. I think I can, I think I can... Man, that does grow old easily. Okay!

He brushed up his ski poles, but since he was obviously not strapped to his sandboard, he slipped off it and violently rolled down the smoothly-curved slide, screaming.

As the scene cut to SpongeBob sitting down on a picnic table asleep nose-first in his ice cream, Patrick continued to roll by in the background, behind the fence.

Creepy guy: (chasing Patrick; stops to take a breath) Wow, my fitness level FAILS. (continues running)

Guy from the line: Hey, buddy. Wake up. The fic's back on-line again.
SpongeBob: (wakes up; snort) Huh, what? Oh, finally. What, has it been like, over a month?

Stevie returned to the table, clutching what looked like a month's supply of sudnaes.

Stevie: Okay, I finally bought enough ice cream sundaes to drown my sorrows in for the rest of the day.

He dropped them on the table, and dunk into them head-first. He then popped his head back out. It was completely covered in melting orange sherbet (except for his nose, which had a noticeable pimply on it).

Stevie: I refuse to accept defeat. I refuse to accept that I have lost the challenge on my first try. And I also refuse to accept that I have a small pimple on my nose. (to Spongey) It's not that noticeable, is it?
SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Oh, no. I can barely even see it.
Stevie: Phew.
(long pause)
SpongeBob: So...are you planning to watch the games this year?
Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting stong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

The comments and commentary in this fanfiction
do not represent the opinions of Viacom
International Brodcasting, Inc. or its affiliates and
subsidaries. We swear. Honestly. Don't eat us.

Patrick continued rolling through the park. He then started knocking through the line for The Restroom, Homestar Runner one of them.

Homestar Runner: Mail-call!

He then flew off the cliff, and landed in the Port-a-Potty, scraping several feet away. The door shut. The creepy guy came over and knocked on the door.

Patrick: (from inside) Hang on, I'm still in here!
Creepy guy: Oh, don't worry. I'll wait for you.

He whistled the Wallace & Gromit theme until Patrick came out and shut the door.

Patrick: Okay, I'm ready now.
Creepy guy: You fail! You fail, you fail, you fail...

He walked into the Port-a-Potty and shut the door. We heard a flush and he immediately came back out.

Creepy guy: FAILURE‼
*cut back to SpongeBob and Stevie*
SpongeBob: That's the spirit, Stevie. Don't give up. All you need is some training.
Stevie: You're not gonna make me sever my leg, are you?
SpongeBob: Do I look like a drive-thru whale to you?
Stevie: Uhh...

*ice cream splash transition to next scene, accompanied by Patrick licking it off*
Patrick: Mmm...sherbet.

Next scene in THIS fic: A Montage of Montages
Next thing I'm gonna work on: I don't know. The bonus features for The Cats Are Coming, I guess.

 

[The Dark Knight]

Trudge, trudge, trudge, trudge, trudge... *breathes heavily* Must...keep...trudging...until...new computer...hooked up...

Patrick continued rolling through the park. He then started knocking through the line for The Restroom, Homestar Runner one of them.

Homestar Runner: Mail-call!
--------------------------------
Creepy guy: FAILURE‼
*cut back to SpongeBob and Stevie*
SpongeBob: That's the spirit, Stevie. Don't give up. All you need is some training.
Stevie: You're not gonna make me sever my leg, are you?
SpongeBob: Do I look like a drive-thru whale to you?
Stevie: Uhh...

Hardi-har. Har.

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Nice scene. Love that fail part.

 

[The Dark Knight]

Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting strong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

Wow, can't believe you mispelled strong. But seriously, how'd I miss that?

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting strong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

Wow, can't believe you mispelled strong. :( But seriously, how'd I miss that?

http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Stong_Bad

:xD: But seriously, how'd you miss that?

 

[The Dark Knight]

Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting strong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

Wow, can't believe you mispelled strong. :P But seriously, how'd I miss that?

http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Stong_Bad

:xD: But seriously, how'd you miss that?

That's no excuse. :xD:

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting strong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

Wow, can't believe you mispelled strong. But seriously, how'd I miss that?

http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Stong_Bad

:xD: But seriously, how'd you miss that?

That's no excuse. :xD:

You can't handle the truth. :xD:

 

[The Dark Knight]

Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting strong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

Wow, can't believe you mispelled strong. But seriously, how'd I miss that?

http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Stong_Bad

But seriously, how'd you miss that?

That's no excuse. :xD:

You can't handle the truth. :xD:

You can't handle that those were all still accidents :xD:

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Stevie: Nah, my TV's been getting strong-bad reception lately. Now all I get is PBS, TV Land, and "Nicke-no-duh-leon".

Wow, can't believe you mispelled strong. But seriously, how'd I miss that?

http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Stong_Bad

:xD: But seriously, how'd you miss that?

That's no excuse. :xD:

You can't handle the truth. :xD:

You can't handle that those were all still accidents :xD:

...

Okay, fine, I confess! I meant to type in "stonk-bad", but I accidentally typed "stong-bad" due to force of habit. I feel so ashamed‼

...

Okay, I'm over it. :|

 

[Stevie The Jellyfish]

BEST FIC EVER!