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Re-Evaluating my opinions on SpongeBob Season 1-8


Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
For if you want to skip to a particular episode of interest
Season 1: Page 1-5
Season 2: Page 5-13
Season 3: Page 15-18
Season 4: Page 18-24
Season 5: Page 25-29
Season 6: Page 29-36
Season 7: Page 37-44
Season 8: Page 44-54
Season 9: Page 55-66
Season 10: Page 66-69
Season 11: Page 69-73
Season 12: Page 73-present

Hello my dear friends. Well, here I am in the Fan Favourites section at last, and it feels so wonderful to be here with you in my first review.

Yes, I'm going to be reviewing every single episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. However, unlike PieGuyRulz, I'm not going to be doing it in video form. Instead, I feel comfortable just doing it right here on SBM. The reason I'm doing this is because I tend to look at my ratings for certain episodes (back when I did it on a scale of 1-10) poorly, like I wasn't enough of a critic back then. "An 8/10 for Porous Pockets? What was I thinking!?", I would usually say to myself.

With that out of the way, let's dive into the first season!

Current Season: Season 1
Original airdates: May 1 1999-April 8 2000
Episode Count: 20
Segment Count: 41
Additional Information: The first/only SpongeBob season to air in the 1990s decade, The first/only SpongeBob season to be entirely animated using traditional cel animation

Before we begin, I'd like to introduce my Rating System:
Scummy: Among the worst of the whole series (equivalent to a 1-2)
Bad: It doesn't represent what SpongeBob stands for (equivalent to a 3-4)
Average: It's somewhere in the middle (equivalent to a 5-6)
Good: It represents what SpongeBob stands for (equivalent to a 7-8)
Spongey: Among the best of the whole series (equivalent to a 9-10)

Help Wanted (Season 1, Episode 1a)
Airdate: May 1 1999 (Episode 1)
Plot: SpongeBob applies for a job at the Krusty Krab
Written by Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon and Tim Hill

Title Card Music: Hawaiian Train

This episode is often seen as an absolute classic. However, being the pilot episode and all, some of the jokes it makes are elements of the show that we nowadays take for granted. For instance, Gary being a snail that meows like a cat would've been gut busting back in 1999, but nowadays, this would be seen as the most basic way of characterizing Gary (he doesn't even move anything other than his mouth). That's really the only example I could think of from the top of my head.

One of the best things about this episode is that it knows what it wants to be; SpongeBob applying for a job, going out to acquire something completely oblivious to what's actually going on back at the Krusty Krab, a full-scale anchovy invasion! The invasion starts off as just a group of mindless customers with no patience, but it soon becomes a high tide of angry anchovies wanting their Krabby Patties. It really puts the nautical style of the Krusty Krab's interior to good use, and really shows the sea vibe that Stephen Hillenburg envisioned for the franchise.

One thing that I love about this episode is the little things about it. SpongeBob's exercise room has a banner reading "I HEART PAIN", even though, seeing how SpongeBob takes carrying something as light as two plush toys on a stick, it's very clear that he doesn't. Later on, the buses containing anchovies circling the Krusty Krab exhibits a pre-emptive state of fear and claustrophobia (no, not being afraid of Santa Claus) that would overtake the Krusty Krew in the second part of the story, before SpongeBob returns. Not only that, but the very first time we see Squidward in this episode, he's cleaning up a picture of himself with the word "loser" painted next to it, which let's the audience know that Squidward is not as cool or happy with his job as SpongeBob is about to be. Now that's an establishing character moment!

Now let's move onto the best part of the episode, which is SpongeBob making his first Krabby Patties. I always found it wierd that he was already so fantastic at making them, even satisfying the anchovies, but then I remembered 3 things:
A) The anchovies are treated in the show as dumber (or at least, less like actual citizens) than regular fish, and as such, they'd probably be satisfied by anything.
B) Having Tiny Tim's "Livin' in the Sunlight" play in the background could easily make you forget that, as it's just so catchy.
C) It's a cartoon!

Not only that, but it would probably be his hydro-dynamic spatula with port and starboard attatchments and turbo drive being so good at crafting the patties. Speaking of which, a joke that will always stick out to me, and will always be one of the best of this season is SpongeBob saying to Squidward and Mr Krabs "Could you believe they only had one in stock?", implying that this completely stupid-sounding contraption that Mr Krabs made up on the spot not only exists, but has almost sold out at Bikini Bottom's local Barg-'n-Mart! It's so subtle yet so funny at the same time.

Now let's move onto the negatives. To be honest, I couldn't find too much bad to talk about. I guess SpongeBob not even reacting to the anchovy crowd below him when he gets back to the Krusty Krab could be seen as a bit of a waste of Squidward and Mr Krabs' contributions to the story, but then again, SpongeBob interacts with the crowd by feeding them Krabby Patties during the musical number, so it's not like anything is pointless story-wise. Also of note is the animation looking much more rough compared to the rest of the series, due to being animated in 1997 using very basic model sheets, while the rest of Season 1 was done from 1998-1999, not to mention many of the jokes are so subtle that I had to look deep to find a lot of them (the "one in stock" one I mentioned above being a good example). It's a little distracting seeing the characters with such primitive models, and the bigger reliance on an automatically comedic story rather than a comedic story with comedy thrown in, but you've got to see this as the pilot to truly enjoy it.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be "Good".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be an 8/10.
Currently, there are no episodes to compare it to when it comes to scale.

Next time, we're looking at an episode that does it's job in scilence. Until then, play me out, Tiny Tim.

Last edited:


Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Reef Blower (Season 1, Episode 1b)
Original Airdate: May 1 1999 (Episode 2)
Plot: SpongeBob annoys Squidward with a reef blower
Written (in it's loosest definition) by Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon and Tim Hill

Title Card Music: Seagulls/Wave sound effect (heard at the end of the title sequence)

This is the very first short episode (less than 5 minutes long) of SpongeBob, and as part of the genre, it's not a solid first impression, but it's still enjoyable. It's rumoured that the reason this episode was silent (neither SpongeBob or Squidward talk and it relies mostly on sound effects) was because the sound equipment was damaged. I'm not going to be the first to believe that, mostly because:
A) You can hear Squidward grunt when he first hears SpongeBob's reef blower. You could argue that it was a stock sound effect, but it sounds way too similar to Roger Bumpass (the voice actor for Squidward) for that to be the case.
B) Why would they bother writing up dialogue for the episode, then have to revise it to be silent right when they discover the audio equipment is damaged?
C) I think if this were the case, Nickelodeon would put production on hold to fix the equipment, rather than decide to make an entirely silent episode. Remember, this was back when they said common sense. #sorryforthesickburn

That's just my reasoning as to why this rumour is potentially false. (I don't think there's any point in asking Vincent Waller, as the earliest SpongeBob episode he worked on was Arrgh!, and he didn't become a full-time crew member until Season 4.)

On the upside, the lack of dialogue leads to some fantastic visual humour. Akin to a Charlie Chaplin film from the silent era, the funniest things about it are the character's actions rather than the witty dialogue, and they really put in the effort to make this episode a little cartoonier than most of the first half of Season 1 (SpongeBob's hands enlarging so so can collect all the sand that had fallen out of the reef blower being a case that sticks out to me).

On the downside, the lack of dialogue makes this episode seem much less witty than other early episodes. One of the best things about SpongeBob (at least on the internet right now in the 2010s) is the amount of classic quotes we derive from it for everyday use. It's a very quoteable show. When an episode like this comes along that relies on the fact that it doesn't have dialogue, it makes the experience seem less special.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be an "Average".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be a 6/10.
It's worse than Help Wanted.

Next time, we'll be viewing SpongeBob's second exposure to air (note that Reef Blower was the first). Until then, play me out, random Hawaiian band.



Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Tea at the Treedome (Season 1, Episode 1c)
Original Airdate: May 1 1999 (Episode 3)
Plot: SpongeBob meets Sandy and goes over to her treedome, only to discover what "air" is
Written by Peter Burns, Mr Lawrence and Paul Tibbit

Title Card Music: Moloka'i Nui (a)

Boy was this quite the big episode. It isn't as big as Help Wanted, but SpongeBob certainly wouldn't be the same without it. It was the first 11-minute episode, which has been the running time for most episodes since, the first time we saw SpongeBob going jellyfishing, the first time we have Sandy, and the first episode to use live-action footage (SpongeBob and Patrick in their dehydrated state) if you don't count the Cambrian plants at the beginning of Help Wanted.

The beginning in which SpongeBob and Sandy meet is one of the most well-excecuted scenes at this point in the show's run (by that I mean 17 minutes into it's existence including commercials). It's great at showing that Sandy is stronger and smarter than SpongeBob, which would eventually branch off into her two main personality traits: karate and science. Yeah, the earlier seasons focused more on karate, and the later seasons have so far focused more on science, even more so after Sponge Out Of Water, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that Sandy's character had been in place since her first couple minutes on screen. Like Squidward cleaning someone's graffiti of him in Help Wanted, it's a good establishing scene.

SpongeBob himself also shows how he contrasts to Sandy this early on as well. Even before they have the chance to settle down and strike up a conversation, SpongeBob has already shown himself to be the funniest/silliest of the two. A key piece of evidence being when was trying to pull the giant clam's mouth open. He takes the time to pause and claim that he's actually doing it (Help Wanted also comically established that physical strength was not SpongeBob's strong suit), and then goes back to putting all his strength into it. Then the camera zooms out to reveal that Sandy was the one doing all the work. Again, it shows that the two contrast very well with each other.

Of course, this episode also highlights SpongeBob's lack of knowledge about land animals. Case in point, he has no idea what air is before it's too late, despite owning a field guide on them that appears to have extensive information on them. By "it's too late", I mean the point where he first enters the treedome and discovers that air is essentially the absence of water, AKA, what SpongeBob needs to breathe to survive!

They really could've gone out their way to make his dehydration cringey and not pleasant to watch in the slightest, and in all honesty, that's half the intent, but it's nowhere near as painful to watch as something like The Splinter, mainly because being a sea creature that's being exposed to air for the first time isn't nearly as close to home for people as getting a nasty splinter, or any sort of nasty infection. Note only that, but they crack some decent black comedy about the situation from time to time, like this:

Sandy: Y'know, you're the first sea creature to ever visit.
SpongeBob: (sarcastically) I can't imagine why!

Not to mention, Patrick is really funny here. Not only is he funny, but he also appears to be more level-headed than SpongeBob, giving him advice on women, despite being unemployed, half-naked, and he's never had a bae before in his fat, lonely life. #sorryforthesickburn And I can totally understand Patrick not knowing the pain that SpongeBob was going through in the treedome, because he just didn't understand air either (he was only really concerned with SpongeBob making a new friend), and I bet it would be hard to see SpongeBob's shrivelled, decaying appearance from the views that Patrick had.

However, the episode isn't without it's faults. For one thing, when SpongeBob ends up asking Sandy for water, she thinks that he means putting water in a vase for the flowers (notably, the ones that had died when SpongeBob entered the treedome!). Later, she's shown giving SpongeBob and Patrick tea in a glass. Seeing the glasses is just a reminder that Sandy was kinda stupid in not giving SpongeBob water in a glass earlier.

Not to mention, SpongeBob's appearance when dying is sort of inconsistent. When he first enters the treedome, he's normal, but soon, he gets spots and his eyes shrink. When he spies the bird bath, his eyes return to normal size but aren't slightly hidden or anything. After hydrating himself with the water from the birdbath, he stays relatively the same, until he returns back to having shrunken eyes. Later on, his eyes are back to normal size again, but are slightly obscured by his skin. I really don't know what the direction was for those designs.

Now let's adress the elephant in the room for this episode, which is this:
This is indeed the earliest instance of a "meme" stemming from the series, and it's a darn good one. The fact that SpongeBob is just looking at small, miniscule water droplets, and having his own deplete in the form of sweat is just so dark, and then it zooms out showing SpongeBob has been doing practically nothing despite the scene being so intense, before he loudly proclaims "I NEED IT!", is just the bee's knees, and it just goes to show that SpongeBob had an excellent sense of humour right off the bat!

All in all, this episode is about that same as I remember it, quality-wise. The things I've praised about it are certainly worth my praise, but there are still flaws. They're small flaws, but they did need to be adressed.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be an "Good".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be a 7/10.
It's worse than Help Wanted, but better than Reef Blower. (Note that I'm not going to be using .5's on this scale.)

Next time, it's all gonna be in the technique. Until then, play me out, Masato Nakamura.


Moby Dollar
Aug 7, 2010
Season 1: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 2: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 3: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 4: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 5: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 6: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 7: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!
Season 8: 10/10 - Every episode is perfect!!!


Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Bubblestand (Season 1, Episode 2a)
Original Airdate: July 17 1999 (Episode 4)
Plot: SpongeBob starts up a bubble-blowing stand, which Squidward finds childish and dorky
Written by Ennio Torresan, Erik Wiese, Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon and Tim Hill

Title Card Music: Old Hilo March

One thing I can say about this episode right off the bat is that it really highlights how different Season 1 is in comparision to later seasons, especially in the first quarter. What I mean is that Season 1 is much more basic in terms of it's humour and storytelling, and this is perhaps the most basic episode (or at least one of the most basic episodes) of the series, even moreso than Reef Blower, which was three minutes long and had no dialogue!

To start off, this episode is pretty slow. The 30 seconds is spent on SpongeBob assessing his environment in an unusually clam and simple manner, claiming it to be peaceful and quiet…before immeditately getting out the wooden boards and getting to some very loud and peace-breaking construction. That's admittedly funny. After Squidward rightfully tells SpongeBob to keep it down so he can play his clarinet (the first time Squidward's obsession with the instrument is brought up), SpongeBob tries hammering quietly, restroing the calm, slow peace, even though it's getting him nowhere. I wouldn't classify it as padding, as it does provide a contrast between SpongeBob and Squidward, plus it's really funny.

Upon quickly finishing his project up and grabbing Squidward's attention once again, we get the second meme in the series: SpongeBob's Hype Stand! Essentially, replace "Bubbles 25¢" with something worth getting hyped up about, put an image of a future SpongeBob stand in Patty Hype with hundreds of fish surrounding it, then replace "Lessons 25¢" for a reason as to why the previous thing is worth getting hyped about, and then get the other Patty Hype image, but thousands of fish surrounding it, and voila, you've got yourself a spicy SpongeBob meme sandwich!

Anyway, everyone's behaviour in this episode is on-point. Patrick is much more into the idea of blowing bubbles than Squidward is, even though he never blows a proper bubble himself, whilst Squidward resents the idea and even says that SpongeBob and Patrick should be ashamed for enjoying it. This clearly puts Squidward in the wrong early on and gives us a reason to route for SpongeBob and Patrick, unlike Little Yellow Book, where both Squidward and the Bikini Bottomites acted awful and brought SpongeBob to tears, even though SpongeBob did nothing wrong.

The good thing about this is that Squidward falls for the bubblestand, throwing his dimes away even though SpongeBob is not doing anything except showing him the technique. Squidward loses something, in this case money, which provides a good dose of karma for calling SpongeBob and Patrick out on a harmless activity. Seeing Squidward's building rage in this scene is really comedic, as he recites SpongeBob's Bubble Blowing Technique and pretty much screaming the bubble as opposed to blowing it, because he's so uptight. I mean, when have you ever seen anyone in real life create a soap bubble using their screams?

Speaking of which, SpongeBob's Bubble Blowing Technique is immortal. Just look:
First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. 1, 2, 3, then pelvic thrust! Woo, woo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town! Bring it around town! Then you do this, then this, and this, THEN THIS, THEN THAT, THEN THIS AND THAT AND THEN! (blows bubbles)

This leads me into my next point, which is that SpongeBob's voice sounded very different in the first couple of Season 1 episodes. I bring this up now because in Help Wanted, the last thing he said was "Who's hungry!?", he didn't speak at all in Reef Blower, and half of his lines in Tea at the Treedome sounded like he was out of breath, which makes sense because he was dehydrating. This is one of the few times that SpongeBob's "classic" voice appears, which sounds more like a generic comedy actor than a manchild, and I just don't like it as much. The only other episodes where he sounds like this, in my opinion, were Jellyfishing, Boating School and Squeaky Boots, which were all produced before Bubblestand. Starting with Ripped Pants, he started to sound more like the SpongeBob we know and love. You can compare it to the way Homer Simpson sounded on The Tracey Ullman Show and in Season 1 and early 2 of The Simpsons, but I don't think it's that drastic.

Another great thing about this episode is the ending. Squidward has blown a bubble as big as a house, gloats over it saying that it was in his genes as opposed to the technique, which provokes SpongeBob and Patrick to cheer on. Karma bites Squidward hard (again) as his house is taken away and lifted by the giant bubble almost to the surface (but not quite), and SpongeBob and Patrick's cheering turn into concerned calls to Squidward. The difference between these two lines of dialogue:
"Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!"
(Later upon seeing Squidward's house being lifted away)
"Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!"
is all in the context of the situation, and I love it.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be a "Good".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be an 8/10.
It's better than Help Wanted.

Next time, we'll be getting one of the most iconic episodes of the whole show. Until then, play me out, Prince Paul.


Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Ripped Pants (Season 1, Episode 2b)
Original Airdate: July 17 1999 (Episode 5)
Plot: While at the beach with Sandy, SpongeBob starts a comedy act by continuously ripping his pants
Written by Paul Tibbit and Peter Burns

Title Card Music: You're Nice

Holy shrimp, this one was a doozy! I don't mean that it was bad or anything (although I have seen it in some bottom 10 pre-movie episodes lists), I mean it's easily the best episode so far. It's much better than I remember it, and it will always remain a SpongeBob classic to me. Seriously, I can't believe I'm getting the Spongey rating out this early in the series.

So what's the story? SpongeBob and Sandy are relaxing at Goo Lagoon (the first appearance of said location) when Larry the Lobster shows up and asks them if they want to lift some weights. Sandy is quick to come along with him, but SpongeBob seems a bit hesitant, as he was quite okay with playing with sand, cracking jokes that made Sandy laugh and doing his own impression of Squidward (which honestly is much more negative than they way SpongeBob would eventually interpret him, even in the late-pre-movie era). Remember, SpongeBob has already shown himself to have trouble lifting weights in Help Wanted, so this sort of reaction is in-character.

The way they present the SpongeBob/Larry/Sandy is as some sort of love triangle, but without the love and only one person (SpongeBob) feeling any sort of tension going on. This is one of the few times that all 3 of them appear/interact with one another in the same episode, and I guess they quickly dropped this genre of episodes because it seemed like an actual love triangle to some people, despite SpongeBob beign asexual (having no sexuality) like real sponges.

Early installment wierdness aside, let's get into what makes this episode truly special to me- the ripped pants. The story is essentially an 11-minute long moral about taking a joke too far, and it does it's job wonderfully. At first, SpongeBob's got almost the entirety of Goo Lagoon rolling on the floor with his admittedly pathetic antics, with Sandy and Buster being his biggest supporters, but soon he begins taking it to heart, and introduces the joke to other people outside his bubble in a way that would normally turn you away from someone if you met them on the beach and they did that.

Eventually, SpongeBob's comedy begins to darken tremendously and he loses supporters (am I talking about the show or the character at this point? #sorryforthesickburn ). You could say that the fake drowning joke was the limit, but in his notepad, he uses slightly morbid descriptions for confirmation instead of checks (like "Kills them" and "Knocks 'em dead"), which shows that he's really going off the deep end. Not only that, but at this point, Sandy and Buster have called him out on his behaviour, despite tolerating it before. Even his pants have left him!

One thing that would definitely bother some people about this episode (but not in a bad way) is that fact that SpongeBob has the ability to rip his pants multiple times, despite it always being the same pair. This can be justified in one of two ways:
A) The story could be set on multiple days. I mean, there's nothing saying that it isn't.
B) SpongeBob did request a tailor to the lifeguard while he was pretending to drown, so maybe he has a tailor on standby constantly repairing his pants.

Now let's get into the first original song in the series, "Ripped Pants". Essentially, it's an apology song about how depressed SpongeBob has become due to his own antics, even being seen as one of the 4 biggest losers on the beach! The lyrics are well written and the melody is perfect in terms of atmosphere. Not only that, but the visuals are fairly good for their time, and it shows all the stuff they use to be made out of sand, which remember, is what SpongeBob showed himself to be good at doing in the beginning. Not to mention that it doesn't end the episode on the musical number, it shows that everyone in Goo Lagoon loving his song, and they seem to have forgiven him. Sandy and Larry congratulate him and SpongeBob's underpants rip, showing him naked for the first time. Even though he has no, uh…boy parts, you can still see that he's embarrassed, as he covers his crotch and blushes, leaving us on a great scene.

So yeah, this episode is much better than I gave it credit for. The comedy is solid, the story is fantastic, and SpongeBob is certainly at his best here. This really shows how much steam SpongeBob had begun to pick up, and is a sign to me that the show is going to continue to grow and develop over the rest of Season 1.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be a "Spongey".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be a 9/10.
It's better than Bubblestand.

Here are the current ratings for Season 1 (I'll update it every 5 or so segments)
5. Reef Blower (6/10)
4. Tea at the Tredome (7/10)
3. Help Wanted (8/10)
2. Bubblestand (8/10)
1 Ripped Pants (9/10)

Next time, we'll be looking at the first episode of the dreaded "Squidward Torture/Squidward Abuse" genre. Until then, play me out, SpongeBob and the Losers.



Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Jellyfishing (Season 1, Episode 3a)
Original Airdate: July 31 1999 (Episode 6)
Plot: Squidward gets badly injured, so SpongeBob and Patrick try to make it up to him on his "Best day ever!"
Written by Steve Fonti, Chris Mitchell, Peter Burns and Tim Hill

Title Card Music: War Blowers

Before we begin, I need to address the genre of SpongeBob episodes that fans tend to call "Squidward Torture/Squidward Absue" (I'll abbreviate it as "STP"), because my stance on it is a key in understanding my feelings towards this episode.

Basically an STP episode is any episode where Squidward is hurt or abused, mostly physically, through little to no fault of his own, unlike Bubblestand where Squidward was recieving karma and it was totally justified. Theis tends to be the most hated genre of episodes among fans, because they make us feel more sympathetic towards Squidward (usually because SpongeBob's personality is played up, even in pre-movie episodes) despite setting him back to where he started at best, and having him lose everything with SpongeBob and Patrick getting away with bad things scott-free at worst.

Personally, this is not a favourite genre of mine, but it does give us a few good episodes, even if the sadist humour comes off as way too mean at times. However, this is just my previous experiences with the genre, and since I'm here to re-evaluate my opinions on the franchise, these are set to change, whether they be drastically or minute. So with all that said, does the introduction to the genre hold up well? Eh, not really.

One thing that I'll give this episode credit for is that it tries to make SpongeBob and Patrick more sympathetic towards Squidward than most STPs, in that most of their abuse comes from accidents as opposed to driving him mad with their annoyance. Okay, Squidward does fall off a cliff (and explode(!?)) at one point, but that was caused by a jellyfish and not by SpongeBob and Patrick themselves. The only two things that bother me about SpongeBob and Patrick are that SpongeBob has a picture of him and Squidward labelled "friends" which looks a little wierd, plus they get karma (Squidward using the jellyfish they caught at the end against them) which they didn't really deserve, as they meant well and (tried to) treat Squidward, who was in a body cast, well throughout the episode.

Speaking of which, jellyfish are portrayed as much more menacing here than in most other jellyfishing episodes. They frequently sting SpongeBob and Patrick and appear to be harder to catch here than in following appearances. You can see why there was intense rock-and-roll music playing while SpongeBob and Patrick were gearing up to go jellyfishing.

As for Squidward's abuse, it's very middle-of-the-road as far as STP goes. He gets abused, sure, but although it isn't funny, it isn't very cringey either. There's really not much of it I can remember aside from the classic:
and when Patrick is unintentionally blowing the "BEST DAY EVER" soup into Squidward's face, the first letters spell "B A D" when they fly onto his face, which was really the only joke in the episode I laughed at.

? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
Hey, we're going to get to that episode when we get to that episode, okay!

In conclusion, this episode was pretty mediocre. There wasn't much in the way of humour, or at least humour that was simultaneously pleasant and memorable, and it really wasn't a good first impression for the STP genre. And yes, you know very well what the "P" stands for.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be an "Average".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be a 5/10.
It's worse than Reef Blower.

Next time, we'll see that fear can come in any size. Until then, play me out, Nick.


Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Plankton! (Season 1, Episode 3b)
Original Airdate: July 31 1999 (Episode 7)
Plot: Plankton meets SpongeBob for the first time, and tries to mind control him into getting the Krabby Patty Secret Formula
Written by Ennino Torresan, Erik Wise and Mr Lawrence (is there ever any doubt with the latter?)

Title Card Music: Chill Out

Seriously though, Mr Lawrence is always going to be associated with Plankton and Plankton-related stories. Not only has he written a good chunk of episodes starring the mishevious midget, but he's the voice actor for Plankton himself. So seeing as how this is another episode to debut a landmark character for SpongeBob, how does it hold up compared to Plankton's later outings? Very well, actually.

Essentially, the plot is SpongeBob meeting Plankton for the first time. Mr Krabs kicks him out of the restaurant and does the introductions for SpongeBob, stating him to be an evil menace that's been trying to steal the secret formula to the Krabby Patty for as long as the Krusty Krab has been in business. This already has the usually cheeful and optimistic sponge pitted against a brand new enemy.

And a pretty good one to boot. Although he may be small, Plankton is an evil genius who has a giant, extravagant lab…and a giant, extravagant laboratory! How did he get this smart? Simple, he went to college. However, he's not the best manipulator without mind control, as when he tries befriending SpongeBob, the second he brings up Krabby Patties, SpongeBob snaps back and turns on him, showing that he keeps the Krabby Patty secret formula close to his heart.

That's another thing that makes this episode so special. SpongeBob is still starting out at the Krusty Krab at this point (remember, it wouldn't be long before Plankton tried to steal the formula after a new, inexperienced fry cook joined the Krusty Krew), and this is only his second episode working there, and the fact that he already cares so deeply about the secrecy of the Krabby Patty formula just shows how committed he is to his work.

One thing I just love about this episode is it's sense of humour. It's typical for SpongeBob, a comedy show, to have jokes, but a lot of these are very well executed, like this one:
(SpongeBob is currently being mind controlled by Plankton into walking uncontrollably.)
SpongeBob: Time for a well-balanced breakfast.
(SpongeBob walks behind the wall and out of the fridge with milk, bread and eggs balancing on top of his head.)
SpongeBob: This isn't what I had in mind.
There's just little things like that placed throughout the whole episode that make it much more rewatchable than it's sister episode.

One more thing that's stuck out to me is the way that they introduced the Chum Bucket. On the outside, it just looks like any other restaurant, a little bit of an odd design choice to make it look like a giant bucket, but still harmless. Later, when Plankton is taking SpongeBob there, an ominous light starts making the building glow, and when we first see the inside, it looks much more like a science laboratory than a restaurant, which makes sense, as Plankton did say that it was his lab, and the design of the instruments and technology that Plankton has is so evil yet so beautiful.

It's a fantastic introduction to the Chum Bucket, a location that we nowadays take for granted, but SpongeBob was mostly smiles and sunshine up to this point, the darkest it got being the brief black comedy in Ripped Pants, so for an episode with this level of morality (Right Vs Wrong) is quite a good change of pace, and it already presents how flexible the show is when it comes to it's settings and evironments. It was only a matter of time before SpongeBob was creating life from a magic pencil and finding painting the inside of a house to be a pure nightmare.

One downside that I have with this episode is Plankton's design. When viewed from behind, it appears that he has, well, a behind. It looks a bit immature, and I can see why they changed it soon afterward.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be aa "Good".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be an 8/10.
It's worse than Bubblestand, but better than Help Wanted.

Next time, if I had a dollar for every scene I despise from the episode being reviewed, I'd have one dollar. Until then, play me out, evil orchestra.

Whoops, wrong one.

There we are!


Season 12 Time!
Feb 26, 2016
Auckland, New Zealand
Naughty Nautical Neighbours (Season 1, Episode 4a)
Original Airdate: August 7 1999 (Episode 8)
Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick's friendship breaks apart, so each of them tries to become close to Squidward
Written by Sherm Cohen, Aaron Springer and Mr Lawrence

Title Card Music: Hawaiian Train

Oh boy, this episode! I've never liked it. That's not to say that I hate it or think that it's a bad episode, but there are definitely things about it that upset me, and still do. Note that I am going to classify this episode as an STP, and I'll explain down below, but that doesn't really excuse the episode.

To start off, Squidward has cooked himself a soufflé and is all ready to eat it, until SpongeBob and Patrick begin blowing bubbles towards one another that contain verbal messages. Essentially, they whisper into the bubbles as they blow them, and when they pop, the sound comes out. I'm fine woth that, it's a very SpongeBob-ish thing to do. What I can't get across is that Squidward reacts to this by just devising a plan to ruin their friendship. Out of nowhere! If SpongeBob and Patrick had done something more than act annoying with no malicious intent towards Squidward, like I dunno, unwittingly destroy his house, then Squidward would have more intent to go off the deep end like that, but no, it's because of something that would be completely within the range of normality.

Now for SpongeBob and Patrick in this scene. This might be one of their dumbest scenes in the pre-movie era. I mean, if they had peripheral vision, they would know that the soufflé bubbles were coming from Squidward's house as opposed to their backyards, and that's not all. The fact that they believe that Squidward's normal speaking voice is their own voices is just really idiotic on their behalf. Not to mention that they turn on each other really quickly, Squidward laughing at it all the while, cold-heartedly. I think that one of them would be smart enough to also notice how different the soufflé bubbles look from the soap bubbles, but that's the only part of this I'd call nitpicking, as their squiggly, pink design is mostly to differentiate them for the viewer.

On a side note, the things Squidward says are harmful, but not that scathing. I'm not saying make it super edgy, but at least have SpongeBob and Patrick act accordingly. Otherwise, it just feels like an early betrayal to their intelligence.

So there's my little rant on what is admittedly one of my least favourite scenes from Season 1, and part of the reason I used to find this episode so forgettable, because it took up way too much residence in my mind. However, after re-watching the whole episode, I found there to be a little more to talk about, and honestly, it's not all positive.

For the things that I actually find positive, I really like Squidward in this episode (minus the "Discord Soufflé" at the beginning). He acts accordingly to each situation, congratulating Patrick and SpongeBob for performing CPR and fixing his back respectively, and gets frightened and somewhat distressed when they're competing for his friendship. This is honestly one of Roger Bumpass's better portrayals of the character at this point in the series. Though again, it makes the STP themes more apparent.

On the negative side of things, while SpongeBob and Patrick are okay when they're alone with Squidward (a little bit stalker-ish at points, like Patrick being in Squidward's bathtub when Squidward isn't even in the room yet, but otherwise in-character), once one of the others enters the scene, it really feels hostile. Even if they're ex-friends, I don't think they'd act this way in any other episode. Not to mention I didn't find the humour all that impressive. SpongeBob naming three friends he has by drawing three smiley faces on his fingers is amusing, but it's also a bit depressing seeing as how he's in a dark room and Gary doesn't even want to be with him. That's just one example, but it's the first joke that pops into my head when someone brings this episode up.

Not to mention, the ending is also a little bit dry. Squiward decides to invite SpongeBob and Patrick over to his house, despite knowing that all they'd do is fight if they're in the same room together. He feeds them soda until they're completely fattened up and then leave them alone. Admittedly a smart move, as they wouldn't be able to move or talk because they're so fat. They then begin burping and eventually laughing out the bubbles, which automatically makes them friends again. Note that instead of popping the bubbles overload Squidward's house and cause it to explode, leaving the guy with less than he got, and the main problem he had with his life restored.

Now here's where the STP element comes into play. Note that all that Squidward did wrong in this episode was do the whole Discord Soufflé thing and taint SpongeBob's friendship with Patrick and vice versa, and the karma he recieved was SpongeBob and Patrick annoying him one at a time as a result. When he finally tries to put an end to it, he succeeds, but at the cost of his house, even though he did nothing greater to deserve it. It's not like in Bubblestand where Squidward did another thing wrong. In this case, he was really trying to fix everything, and he did. There's where the element of "SpongeBob Wins, Squidward Loses" that resides in STP comes into play.

As I've said, I don't like it that much, but I'm happy to say that it's much better than I remember it. Is it a "Good" episode? No, but there are slightly good things to say about it.

My rating for this episode on my personal scale would be an "Average".
On a scale of 1-10, it would be a 6/10.
It's worse than Reef Blower, but better than Jellyfishing.

Next time, we're going to meet a character that is usually driven insane by SpongeBob's antics. Until then, play me out, Garth Ploog.