Matt's Fanmade SB Shorts: Part 6

MattTheSpongeFanatic

Goodbye Krabby Patty's #1 Fan
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First of all, thank you for giving me 75 views on my previous thread. Although it isn't much, I am happy people are seeing my work! Now, finally, we get some shorts after over a month without them. In these shorts, Squidward gets a new job at an office building, Sandy wants to compete in a tough competition, and Fred decides to solve his leg problem in a rather strange way.

I hope you enjoy, and more shorts will be coming later this month! :D

16. Curse of the Patty
with Squidward and Mr. Krabs


[It is another normal day in Bikini Bottom, and Squidward drives out of his house, smiling]
Squidward: You may be wondering, what am I smiling about? Well, I'm smiling because today's my first day at my new job!
[Squidward drives down Main Street into downtown Bikini Bottom]
Squidward: Today, and hopefully for the rest of my life, I will be working at an office building. You know, the cabinet-shaped one producing tanks that collapsed in Krusty Kleaners? Fortunately, that building has been rebuilt because cartoons don't have any rules whatsoever.
[Squidward drives down a side street with the building in view]
Squidward: And there it is. Now, time for me to live a Krusty Krab-free life.

IN THE BUILDING…

[Squidward is in his own office cubicle]
Squidward: Ah, this is the life. Free of Krabby Patties, greedy crabs, and annoying customers. Now, I can finally live in peace.
[Squidward opens up his computer]
Squidward: And, by the way, nobody runs this place! The manager is now part of the Drasticals, living her best life. So this means I can play poker on my computer too!
[Squidward hears Mr. Krabs walking nearby]
Squidward: Wha- did I just hear Mr. Krabs walk outside? He couldn't be in here!
[Squidward steps out into the hall, only to see there is nobody there]
Squidward: Hmm, that's strange. I could've sworn I heard that crab! Oh well, time to sit back and relax. You're just hearing things, Squiddy.
[Squidward leans back on his chair, but suddenly sees several Krabby Patties on his desk]
Squidward: Huh? Krabby Patties? Where'd they come from?
[Squidward falls out of his chair and lands nose-first on the ground]
[Squidward looks up, and sees that the imaginary Krabby Patties are just his mouse, a cup, and a pile of erasers]
Squidward: Oh shrimp, I must be seeing things too!
[Squidward looks behind him and sees a giant Krabby Patty painted onto the wall]
Squidward: Oh no… why are there Krabby Patties everywhere?
[Squidward looks around him and sees figures of Mr. Krabs, Krabby Patties, and angry customers all around him]
Squidward: What's going on… I may be out of the Krusty Krab, but I am not safe from my experiences there! Its like that place has haunted my memory!
[Squidward gets up and gets a cup of water]
Squidward: I can't seem to get calm. Maybe this will help.
[Squidward chugs down the water and smashes his head against the wall, but he still sees Krabby Patties everywhere]
Squidward (looking around): Oh no… Krabby Patties in front of me, Krabby Patties around me, and Krabby Patties behind me!
[Squidward runs down a hall, but the patties follow him]
Squidward (going insane): What's going on?
[Squidward runs past a mirror, and suddenly stops in front of it]
Squidward: Wait… Could I…
[Squidward looks in the mirror again, only to see he himself has been transformed into a Krabby Patty]
Squidward: AAAAAAAH! I'M A PATTY TOO!
[Squidward runs in circles while screaming]
Squidward: GET ME OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE!
[Squidward runs up to the wall and jumps out of the window]
Squidward: Alright, Patties, you can't get me now!
[Squidward begins to fall down]
Squidward: Oh shrimp...
[Squidward falls down to the ground in slow motion…
...screaming and sweating nervously...
...and finally landing with…
...a loud THUMP.]

THE END?

[Squidward suddenly wakes up in the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: Gaaah! What happened?
[Mr. Krabs walks up to Squidward]
Mr. Krabs: You had one of those dreams again, Mr. Squidward.
Squidward: You mean, all the Krabby Patties surrounding me, they weren't real?
Mr. Krabs: Of course they weren't. But now since you're wide awake from that nightmare, I say, Mr. Squidward, I say…
[Mr. Krabs' face goes up to Squidward]
Mr. Krabs: ...GIT BACK TO WORK, MR. SQUIDWARD!
[Squidward collapses]
Squidward (on the ground): I hope this is all just another nightmare…

THE END

--

17. Training the Squirrel
with Sandy and SpongeBob


[SpongeBob is walking down the road to Sandy's house]
[SpongeBob sees Sandy lifting weights inside her treedome]
SpongeBob: Gosh, I wonder what she's doing now.
[SpongeBob enters the treedome, puts on a water helmet, and goes up to Sandy]
SpongeBob: Hi, Sandy! What are you up to?
[Sandy puts down her weight]
Sandy: I'm training for the big Anchor Toss competition at Goo Lagoon tomorrow!
SpongeBob: Anchor toss? That sounds rough.
Sandy (drinking water): It sure is. Only the strongest of the strong, the fittest of the fit can win that.
SpongeBob: But what's the prize if you win?
Sandy: One thousand dollars.
SpongeBob: Wow.
Sandy: Hey, now that you're here, I have an idea! You should help me out in the competition tomorrow! I'm the only competitor without an assistant.
SpongeBob: Sure. But does that involve lifting heavy objects? Because you know I can't do that.
Sandy: No, it doesn't. Just make sure to meet me at Goo Lagoon first thing in the morning.
SpongeBob: I sure will!
Sandy: Now please leave. I gotta do some more push ups.
[SpongeBob exits the treedome, and Sandy begins exercising again]

THE NEXT DAY, AT THE ANCHOR TOSS COMPETITION…

Announcer:
It's the moment you've been waiting for, Bikini Bottomites! It's time to see the contestants in the 1st Annual Bikini Bottom Anchor Toss Championship! And gosh, that is a really long name for a competition! But here is our first competitor, Larry!
[Larry walks up to the beach]
Larry: I'll be easily winning this competition!
[The crowd cheers as Larry shows off his muscles]
Announcer: And our second contestant, Sandy!
Sandy: Alright SpongeBob, time for the competition. Remember, don't make me look stupid.
SpongeBob: Sure.
[Sandy and SpongeBob both walk up to the beach, but SpongeBob randomly collapses onto the ground]
Sandy: Oh brother.
[Sandy walks back and sees SpongeBob on the ground]
Sandy: What was that for, SpongeBob! You've embarrassed me!
SpongeBob: Come closer…
[Sandy comes up to SpongeBob]
Sandy: SpongeBob… is everything fine?
SpongeBob: I need… a tailor.
Sandy: A what?
SpongeBob: A tailor… because I ripped my pants!
[SpongeBob jumps up and rips his pants]
Sandy: Come on, that joke is over 22 years old. Now stop it.
Announcer: And that's all the contestants for today! Unfortunately, we weren't able to get more contestants since we did not have enough anchors to toss. And none of us are going to a pier on Surface Land to hunt for more. That's too dangerous. Now, it's time for Larry's turn!
[Larry takes a deep breath, and holds up his anchor]
[The crowd cheers]
[Larry throws his anchor into the air, and it lands pretty far from him with a thud]
Announcer: And, Larry has thrown his anchor 66 fish-lengths! Now, time for Sandy! If she can beat Larry's throw, she wins the contest!
Sandy: Alright SpongeBob. First, hand me the towel. I have to wipe this anchor first. It's all rusty and disgusting.
[SpongeBob gives Sandy a towel]
Sandy: Okay. Good. Now, don't distract me. No matter what. Because if you even say a peep when I'm throwing, I will grind you into chum.
SpongeBob: R-really?
Sandy: Just kidding. But stand back. I'm going to throw.
[Sandy picks up her anchor, and prepares to throw it]
SpongeBob: Hey look, a hermit crab!
Hermit Crab: What do you want?
[Sandy gets distracted and throws her anchor very short]
Announcer: Ooh, that's not a good score for Sandy. Only 13 fishlengths. Sandy loses!
[The crowd cheers for Larry]
Sandy: SPONGE...BOB…
[SpongeBob nervously laughs]

~~~~~

[SpongeBob closes a book cover, revealing the past short was all just a story]
SpongeBob: And that, Patrick, was the tale of how I was never chosen to be Sandy's assistant again.
Patrick: What's an assistant?
SpongeBob: It's something I can never be for Sandy again. But fortunately, I heard she's going to compete in a clam-fighting competition tomorrow, and she wants you to be her assistant!
Patrick: Yay!
SpongeBob: Just make sure to not screw up. You don't want to know what happened after the competition.

THE END


--

18. Legless Fred
with Fred


[Fred is walking down the street, singing happily]
Fred (singing): Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna swim around and desert you…
[Fred notices a light pole about to fall down]
Fred: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
[Fred tries to jump, but doesn't make it in time]

BAM

[The light pole falls down onto Fred's leg, crushing it]
Fred: MY LEG!
[Fred sees everyone laughing at him]
Harold: Look at this guy. He just hurt his leg again!
Dave: Yeah. Isn't this the 24th time he's hurt his leg? Heehee!
[Both laugh to each other]
Fred: THAT'S IT! I am going to do what I should've done a long time ago!
Harold: What? You're going to stay home and adopt snails for the rest of your life because you're too afraid to go outside and get embarassed because something hurt your poor widdle leg?
[Harold and Dave both laugh, and quickly more and more fish laugh at Fred too]
Fred: No, you barnacle brains, I'm going to cut my legs off!
[Both suddenly stop laughing]
Harold: Are you just joking? Because that sounds painful.
Fred: No.

THE NEXT DAY…

[Fred is now going down the street with no legs, and sees Harold and Dave]
Fred: Hi Harold! Hi Dave!
Harold: Fred, wha- did you just cut off both of your legs?
Fred: I sure did! Now nothing can harm my legs… because I have none!
Dave: Then how do you move around?
Fred: Oh, I simply attach a boat motor to my back. It's really simple stuff. Well, time for me to go and get a Krabby Patty!
[Fred starts the motor on his back again, and he soon drives off]
Dave: You know something, Harold? Sooner or later, I have this strange feeling that a SpongeBob writer would come into his house saying that he needs legs otherwise the show won't work.
Harold: Well, that's probably gonna happen. We are merely cartoon fish under the grasp of the SpongeBob writers. And that means whatever you do to yourself won't make any difference.
Dave: "Won't make any difference?" Hmm…
[Dave thinks for a moment]
Dave: I guess, if the writers decide to make me injure my leg several times, I'm going to cut my legs off too!
Harold: Me too. No legs is always better than broken legs.
[Harold and Dave head to their houses, probably to cut their legs off as well]

THE END

--
As usual, thanks for reading! :whoo:

Part 1 (Shorts 1-3): https://www.sbmania.net/forums/threads/3-fanmade-spongebob-shorts.63682/
Part 2 (Shorts 4-6): https://www.sbmania.net/forums/threads/3-more-fanmade-spongebob-shorts.63934/
Part 3 (Shorts 7-9): https://www.sbmania.net/forums/threads/matts-fanmade-sb-shorts-part-3.63997/
Part 4 (Shorts 10-12): https://www.sbmania.net/forums/threads/matts-fanmade-sb-shorts-part-4.64025/
Part 5 (Shorts 13-15): https://www.sbmania.net/forums/threads/matts-fanmade-sb-shorts-part-5.64053/
 
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