The Race of the Confused
[The scene is SpongeBob going out-side of his house to get the mail.]
SpongeBob: Hmm, let's see. Boring... Hey, look! 'Bikini Bottom Race Tournament'. 'Go to Bikini Bottom Square for details.'
[SpongeBob races off to Bikini Bottom Square]
SpongeBob: Hey! It's Patrick and Sandy! What are you guys doing here?
Patrick: I'm going to enter with my mobile rock!
[Patrick points to a rock the size of a microwave with leftover junk for wheels]
Patrick: Pretty spiffy, huh?
Sandy: We'll I'm entering with my 'Speed Squirrel'. Back in Texas we had races all the time, and I never ceased to win.
Patrick: Well prepare to lose, 'Racer Cheeks'. Me and my Rockmobile will be getting ready for the race in a couple days.
[Patrick walks home with his Rockmobile]
Sandy: Well we'll see about that, Barnacle-head!
Patrick: What did she say?
[Patrick hears his cellphone ring]
Sandy: I said you're a barnacle-head!
Patrick: ... Who is this?
[SpongeBob reads the details of the race and walks home to get his car ready.]
SpongeBob: Well, I think she's ready!
[SpongeBob unviels a car that resembles a Sponge of metal.]
SpongeBob: I call it the 'Steel Sponge'/
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Gary. I have all the safety proportions and engines ready, now to go to the race!
[SpongeBob arrives at the race where many fish, Sandy, Patrick, Plankton, and Squidward are there.]
SpongeBob: I never knew Squidward and Plankton were in the race, too!
Squidward: I came to get the price money of $100,000. It would be great to finally buy an expensive hairpiece.
Patrick: Well why didn't you ask me before? I had one with me all the time!
[Patrick hands Squidward a small rug]
Squidward: Patrick that's a rug.
Patrick: I know, the perfect hairstyle!
Plankton: Well I came for one reason, to show off my speed demon skills! Prepare to be annihialated!
Announcer: Everyone get your cars ready! We will be starting in five minutes!
SpongeBob: Well, goodluck everyone!
Plankton: I won't be needing it! I have all the luck I need.
Sandy: Well I haven't lost once, so your pride will be taken faster than a Jackrabbit on wheels!
Announcer: On your marks, get set, GO!
[Everyone presses their feet (and/or fins) on their accelerators. So far Sandy and Plankton are in the lead. SpongeBob, Suidward, and Patrick follow. Many fish crash and burn along the way, leaving merely the group of 5 left. SpongeBob seems to be catching up.]
Sandy: I told ya I'd win Plankton!
Plankton: That's what you think. *manical laugh*
[Plankton presses a button on his microscopic car, and an assortment of deadly weapons appear. one of the weapons, a razor, cuts Sandy's tire and she falls out of the race. She presses the 'eject' button and flies out of the car before she can be hurt by the bursting flames.]
SpongeBob: *gasp*, Plankton's cheating!
Plankton: And nobody will find out! You're next, Sponge!
[Plankton attempts to crash SpongeBob but Spongebob veers out of the way.]
SpongeBob: As long as I have my hefty Turning, there's no way you can hurt me!
Patrick: Coming through!
[Patrick is riding upon his rock, zooming through the course. He is using what seems to be a rug, and it is levitating his rock. Patrick zooms past Plankton, Squidward, and SpongeBob, winning the race. patrick recieves a golden medal.]
Patrick: I offered you the rug, Squidward, but you refused!
Squidward: That rug is so wierd that I doubt I'd want to use it.
Patrick: ... Jealous.