House Fancy II (Calling all writers, BTW)

Squidina

Squidina

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Apparently there is a silly transcript thing - fanmade - please note. (EDIT: Here is the original link: http://spongefan.wikia.com/wiki/House_Fancy_2 )

Reading it, I decided to write it a bit 'better'... that is, I think I'M at least somewhat capable of writing, and have, seemingly, a better idea of the show and feeling for the characters than whoever wrote the transcript.

So, I started.

First, here is the transcript:

French Narrator: Ah, another morning and Squidward is watching TV.

Squidward: I wonder if House Fancy's on.

Squidward turns on House Fancy and this is want he saw:

Nick: I've got bad news! House Fancy has been CANCELLED!

echoes: CANCELLED...CANCELLED...CANCELLED..

Squidward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Outside SpongeBob is working in his garden and hears Squidward screaming.

SpongeBob: Hmm...Squid must be watching a scary movie!

The scene cuts back to Squidward

Squidward dials phone

Phone Operator: Hello, Bikini Bottom Public Access!

Squidward: Hello! Is House Fancy still on your network?

Phone Operator: Sorry, It's been cancelled!

Squidward hangs up and walks back and forth.

Squidward: Why in the world would cancel House Fancy?

Just then SpongeBob appears out of nowhere

SpongeBob: House Fancy's been cancelled?

Squidward: Yes! What how did you get in here?

SpongeBob: The Window!

Scene turns to window then back to SpongeBob and Squidward

Squidward: I don't have time for this! I've got bigger problems!

SpongeBob: Like what?

Squidward: Well for starters, one of favorite TV shows got cancelled!

SpongeBob: Is that it?

Squidward: Pretty Much!

SpongeBob: OK!

Nick: (on TV): There's an opening for a show to replace House Fancy!

This gave SpongeBob an idea.

SpongeBob: I could make a show. (leaves scene)

Squidward: Who could replace House Fancy!

Next Scene SpongeBob and Patrick try to come up with a good idea for a TV show.

SpongeBob: The world of Fish? No! The clownfish show? No!

Patrick: Life of Ice Cream Planet?

SpongeBob stares at him

Patrick: It's all I could think of.

SpongeBob thinks of a good title

SpongeBob: The Clownfish and Ice Cream Show

Patrick: Yeah!

SpongeBob and Patrick take their idea to Bikini Bottom Public Access

Back at Squidward's house he was still watching his TV.

TV Announcer: We have a new show.

Squidward: It's about time!

Announcer: The Clownfish and Ice Cream Show!

Squidward: This should be good!

Announcer: Created by SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star

Squidward: WHAT!

Squidward dials phone again

Squidward: Hello, Bikini Bottom Public Access!

Phone Operator: Now what?

Squidward: Why is that show on the air?

Phone Operator: Two kids sent it in!

Squidward: Can't you stop it!

Phone Operator: With a million views? Forget it! (hangs up)

Squidward: Rrrrr....

Clownfish on TV: Honk, honk, dinkity donk!

(Clownfish eats ice cream and burps)

Squidward: SpongeBob! Patrick! Wait! I mean, wait. If those two nincompoops can make a show, I can recreate House Fancy!

(Squidward runs to the TV station)

Squidward: Hello, I'd like to make a show called House Fancy 2: Squilliam-Free! I got it? Yes!

Timecard: 24 Hours later....

Squidward on TV: And that is the fanciest house owned by Philip Phil from Philidelphia.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Uh...back to seaweed sauce and coral.

I think it's okay, but they forgot some things that would need to occure in a revisit of the episode.. They forgot Squilliam?



And here is my start.

________________

"House Fancy II"


French Narrator: Ah, another morning in Bikini Bottom. All is calm, and Squidward is settling down to watch TV.


Squidward picks up the remote and turns on the TV, having made himself confy on his sofa. He switches the channel over to his fave program, "House Fancy, heh-heh-heh!" He laughs. "Let's see what those LOSERS come up with after *I* and my amazing house swept the network - No, the nation! - NO, the entire WORLD away!! With MY awesome house!" He puts his 'House Fancy Prince' crown on and laughs again to himself. "Prince of House Fancy, oh, Squidward-darling, you rock AND roll! - Ah-heh-eh-eh!" He rights his crown slightly, making sure it sits PERFECTLY.

The TV comes on and the opening theme to 'House Fancy' starts: "Welcome to 'House Fancy'! - We're bringing you a very special episode, because... well, let us go to OUR host: Nicolas Withers!" *Ding*

Nick comes on, smiling his usual smile.

"Hello, watchers! I am your host of 'House Fancy' and I'm here to-" Squidward's grinning, leaning forward, pulling his blanket tighter over him, excited. "-To share some VERY, very..." Squidward couldn't wait, he nearly fell off his couch. "BAD news!" 'Huh???' Squidward falls off his couch. "That's right, folks-" Squidward gets back up. "I regret to inform you all that 'House Fancy' has been.... *Heavy sigh* ...C-Cancelled. Cancelled."

'Cancelled.... cancelled... cancelled...'

"WHAT???' Squidward cries.

"That's right, folks. Cancelled- and your host is looking for a new job..." Squidward gasped. "Anyone looking for someone to dust their trophies?" Nickolas Withers whips out a maid outfit with feather duster. "I need a new job."


Squidward just gasped. He grabbed the phone.

***

In the meantime, someone else had been watching the episode. The Multibillionaire sat back, having flipped over to the channel, and had made exactly the same motions at each point as his highschool rival did. But at the end, Squilliam Fancyson III just set his coffee cup aside and giggled.

"Oh, Nick, you POOR thing!" He stood up, looking at the TV, smiling arrogantly. "I could have told you that the moment you picked Squidward over ME, that you'd be out of a job!" He laughed. Then, thinking to himself, 'I wonder if ol' Squiddy-dear would bail him out!'. Of course, he knew that wouldn't happen. Squidward, despite having won that episode, had won NOTHING ultimately. He had no more money than before; no one loved his poor excuses for art anymore than they had before, and no one liked that abuse he called 'playing' his clarinet anymore than they had before. Squidward, Squilliam knew, was STILL working the cash register in that burger joint.

On the TV, Nick picked up the phone - "Oh, one moment, we have a caller!" The fish said putting on his trademark smile. "Cancelled, yes." Nick affirmed to the caller. "Yes, I said cancelled. - YES, CANCELLED! Would I be dressed like this if it..." He panted, then pulled himself together and looked into the camera. "S-Sorry, you didn't need to see that."

'Cancelled.' Squilliam giggled, not knowing who'd called in just now. 'Serves them right!' Squilliam thought again. 'Oh, Nicky-dear, *I* could save you AND your show, but... you didn't want it. You went with that poor cashier instead!'

"Someone bring me another tea, please." Squilliam called out to his staff, holding up his empty cup.

***


________________


Anyone want to continue the story?




I'm asking for a colaberation, that is, what you'd like to see. I don't expect anyone to write like I do (and I am SO not 'better' at writing than anyone else here, sorry for that... I just think this could be written better by people who really know the characters - god, I sounded so stuck up - I really want to see where you'd take it after that. If anyone would? It could be so fun to write together. There are just so many great fanfic writers here - who are WAY better than me.
 
If you want a toenail scene, add it. ;)

Okay, let me try and make this clear: I don't want to write this one alone. I started it, but I was hoping someone else would continue it? Don't have to finish it, just write a part, then either I or someone else writes the next part? And it doesn't matter which style of writing, just that it's continued.
 
Doowop said:
A LOT more toenails.
Click to expand...
Write it, then. ;) (I've nothing against it, as long as that's not the entirety of the 'script'. I probably won't write any toenail scenes myself.)
 
Squidward got up from his couch and slammed the phone on the stand.

Squidward: Fine! If they're not gonna make House Fancy anymore, I'll make my own House Fancy! But I'm gonna need some help...

SpongeBob: Did someone say help?

Squidward: What? How did you hear me?

SpongeBob: Through the surveillance camera!

(Show surveillance camera zooming in on Squidward from the ceiling)

Squidward: Huh?!

SpongeBob: Can I help you make your new House Fancy show?

Squidward: What? No way! You'll mess everything up!

SpongeBob: Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh

Squidward: Fine! But you have to remove that surveillance camera from my ceiling!

SpongeBob: You got it!

Squidward: And you have to make sure you don't rip my toenail off again!

SpongeBob: I can't promise that!

Squidward: (Sighs) I'm gonna go to the broadcast station. You get that camera out of here.

(Squidward leaves)

SpongeBob: Good thing I have other surveillance cameras!
 
House Fancy The Sequel, Popeye's Version:

Squidward is rewatching "House Fancy" himself and is laughing at everything, especially the toenail scene because it turns out that was his incompetent stunt double filling in for him for the entire episode until the part where Squilliam cries at the end. The biggest twist though is that the toenail wasn't even real. It was made out of kelp!

So yeah, this would be quite a meta kind of episode.
 
Doowop said:
Squidward got up from his couch and slammed the phone on the stand.

Squidward: Fine! If they're not gonna make House Fancy anymore, I'll make my own House Fancy! But I'm gonna need some help...

SpongeBob: Did someone say help?

Squidward: What? How did you hear me?

SpongeBob: Through the surveillance camera!

(Show surveillance camera zooming in on Squidward from the ceiling)

Squidward: Huh?!

SpongeBob: Can I help you make your new House Fancy show?

Squidward: What? No way! You'll mess everything up!

SpongeBob: Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh

Squidward: Fine! But you have to remove that surveillance camera from my ceiling!

SpongeBob: You got it!

Squidward: And you have to make sure you don't rip my toenail off again!

SpongeBob: I can't promise that!

Squidward: (Sighs) I'm gonna go to the broadcast station. You get that camera out of here.

(Squidward leaves)

SpongeBob: Good thing I have other surveillance cameras!
Click to expand...
LOVE it! Perfectly in character, and in the atmosphere of the series. Or, in short, just: YES!

Popeye Q. Krabs said:
House Fancy The Sequel, Popeye's Version:

Squidward is rewatching "House Fancy" himself and is laughing at everything, especially the toenail scene because it turns out that was his incompetent stunt double filling in for him for the entire episode until the part where Squilliam cries at the end. The biggest twist though is that the toenail wasn't even real. It was made out of kelp!

So yeah, this would be quite a meta kind of episode.
Click to expand...
Just to clear this up: This particular topic was meant to be a writer collaberation story - everyone who has an idea, would add their own part, following the previously written stuff, to continue the story (in their own writing style, for fun). Doowop got the purpose of the challenge.
 
Squidina said:
LOVE it! Perfectly in character, and in the atmosphere of the series. Or, in short, just: YES!


Just to clear this up: This particular topic was meant to be a writer collaberation story - everyone who has an idea, would add their own part, following the previously written stuff, to continue the story (in their own writing style, for fun). Doowop got the purpose of the challenge.
Click to expand...
Thank you!
 
Doowop said:
Thank you!
Click to expand...
You're welcome.



And here's the next part.

---

Squidward promptly left his house, stomping to his boat, getting in, buckling his seatbelts and checking his mirrors before he put it in gear and pulled out. He drove down to the station, parked his boat in front of the station, and got out. He strode up to the entrance and threw the doors open... or rather, tried to, that didn't quite work as he'd hoped, rather because the world apparently hates him, he ended up spinning in the rotating doors, then with the force of his entrance, threw him out of them and he crashed into the secetary's desk, sliding to the floor - because he is Squidward and the world hates Squidward.

"OH! Are you okay??" The secretary cried, and as as he pulled himself up, the secetary gasped. He made sure he was alright, organs in place, no broken invertabrate bones (not that invertabrates have bones, but he had to check anyway, because cartoon physics), and not a scratch - just his eye was twitching.

"I'm alright." He announced, standing up and placing his tentacles on the desk, then gathered himself because he had something to say. "I want to talk to the manager!"

"Oh, I'm very sorry, but he is busy right now." The secretary said.

"I don't care!" He snapped. "I want to talk to him! I have a great idea for a show!" He wiped his eye.

"I..."

"I have the whole script written out and it's sure to be a killer!" He interjected quickly, determined to see his piece through. "It even comes with a music score - written by Yours Truly." He added grinning, his hand proudly upon his chest. "Also, I heard 'House Fancy' has been cancelled! I have an idea that could bring your biggest show back to life!"

"Oh-kay... Um... one moment.. Let me..." She trailed off as she picked up the phone and hit a button. "Hello, Sir... I have someone here who insists on seeing you..." A pause.. "Yes... yes... yes... no.. yes? ....Okay..." Then she turned to Squidward, though her expression gave him no hope. "Please, right this way." She indicated the door. "...Good luck.." She said forbodingly.

He went on, following her directions, secretly crossing his fingers, though also just as certain his idea would rock the person's world. There was no chance it could fail, he was positive, because he was Squidward, if he'd just have a chance, he'd rock everyone's world and then everyone would see what a great vision he had, what he could do, show, and teach the whole pathetic city of Bikini Bottom - and the world, of course! - what vision, talent, and simply the awesomeness that Squidward was, is! After all, he was the 'House Fancy Prince'! He beat Squilliam Fancyson!

On the way in the back, he saw a fish and stopped him, recognising him. "Hey, aren't you...!"

"-Nick Withers, yes.." The fish interrupted, straightening out his skirt and stomping off, then turning back. "You wouldn't have a tissue would you?" Squidward gave him his hanky and he blew his nose dramatically. "T-thank you..." He handed it back and Squidward, shuddering at it, dropped it back on the floor.

"Think nothing of it." He said casually.

"Thanks... thanks..." The fish walked on. Then Squidward did a double take....

"Wait!" He called back and the fish turned around.

"Y-yes?" Squidward took a good look at him, Nick Withers, the once top host now reduced to begging for a job. It was hard not to laugh, and Squidward gave in and laughed at him.

"A maid outfit???" He laughed louder. "Oh! Oh! I never... oh, how sad, 'Nicky'!" He couldn't help gloating.

"....Nicky?" Nick said to himself, remembering how a certain other person called him that. He just ignored it.

"Hey!" Squidward suddenly called back to him. He turned around. "Mr. Withers," Squidward began, all charm. "I have an idea that'll help both of us, you want your job back and *I* can help you!" He said. What Squidward would never tell anyone, ever, is that despite his gloating, he felt sorry for Nick, who'd favoured him over his rival, and... he needed help - the more the merrier, as they say. Or rather, Nick knew the boss better than Squidward did.

"O-alright... okay! Shoot it at me, Mr. Prince Tentacles!" Nickolas said, putting his trademark smile back on.

---

((And now the next. Which means, of course, it's up to someone else to continue it.))
 
This is an amazing re-writting Squidina! Someone else with a writing talent should definitely continue this.
 
The Drifter said:
This is an amazing re-writting Squidina! Someone else with a writing talent should definitely continue this.
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Oh, why, thank you very much! :)

I encourage anyone who wants to, to add to it. It doesn't matter how good they think they are at writing (it also doesn't matter how much they write - a single paragraph is already appreciated). I love collaborating.
 
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