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Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture

(green car comes driving up then stops. Kelp-Thing gets out)
Kelp-Thing: Huh? Eh?
Narrator: It's Mermaidman! Savior of the deep! (in comes Barnacleboy) And his young fit servant, Barnacleboy.
Mermaidman: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy...unite! (both put rings together then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car) Kelp-Thing, this is a poster, no-parking zone.
Kelp-Thing: But I must do what I do. (jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed) Huh? (The word "TOWED" comes on screen. Kelp-Thing jumps down and then walks away.)
Mermaidman: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6:00am and 12:00pm! (the word "FIN" appears on-screen. The Mermaidman and Barnaclebot Fan Club is watching a video about the heroes. They cheer)
Club Leader: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy Fan Club members unite!
All: Unite!
Club Leader: And now the second order of business, Drippy Brothers Studios is currently in production of the Mermaidman and Barnacleboy movie!
All: Ooh!
Spongebob: Oh boy, Patrick, I can hardly wait to see our favorite heroes on the big screen! (Patrick laughs)
Club Leader: Third order of business, the special surprise guest. (all gasp) The stars of the Mermaidman movie are here tonight! (everyone cheers) Directly from the set, here they are! (curtain opens and fake Mermaidman and Barnacleboy are there)
Fake Mermaidman: Hello, little heroes.
Patrick: Huh?
Spongebob: You're not Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. You're fakes.
Fake Mermaidman: Well, of course, we are--we're actors.
Spongebob: Actors? How can make a Mermaidman movie without the real Mermaidman and Barnacleboy?
Fake Mermaidman: Listen, kid, this is an action movie. You're has-been heroes are too old for action.
Spongebob: Mermaidman is timeless!
Patrick: Yeah!
Spongebob: I think I speak for everyone here when I say we won't stand for these two phoney-baloneys ruining the good name of our heroes. No right-minded Mermaidman and Barnacleboy society member would ever pay to see this...this celluloid hoax. I saw we boycott this movie! Now who's with me? (Spongebob & Patrick are thrown out of the building) Tratiors! Wait till we tell Mermaidman about this. (cut to the retirement home)
Announcer: B-47.
Mermaidman: Marco.
Barnacleboy: It's "bingo".
Mermaidman: Get your hands off me, woman!
Announcer: A-29.
Spongebob: (walks in) Too old for an action movie...huh.
Barnacleboy: What is this time, kid?
Spongebob: Are you aware Drippy Brothers Studio is making the Mermaidman and Barnacleboy movie?
Barnacleboy: They can't be making a movie about us!
Spongebob: But they are! And they're using...actors. They have shunned our heroes. (heroes gasp)
Patrick: And they weren't nice to them either.
Mermaidman: (wailing) Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.
Spongebob: Well, that makes it even worse.
Barnacleboy: You bet it does, kid.
Mermaidman: And the worst part is I can't remember why I started crying.
Patrick: Why don't we just make our own movie?
Spongebob: Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaidman and Barnacleboy movie. Right here at Shady Shoals.
Mermaidman: You will?
Spongebob: Yes! And in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and...their actors.
Mermaidman: (jumps on top of the table) Vindication is ours! Vindi...how did I get up here? (cut to Krusty Krab)
Spongebob: Ok, Patrick, what do we need to start a movie?
Patrick: Popcorn?
Spongebob: No, Patrick, to start making a movie.
Patrick: Oh, oh, oh...
Spongebob: Let's start with...the title.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Ooh! I got one! "Adventures in the Underground City".
Spongebob: Great, Pat, what happens?
Patrick: Well, there's a city...
Spongebob: City...
Patrick: And it's underground...
Spongebob: Underground...
Patrick: And they have an adventure...
Spongebob:Adventure...
Patrick: The end.
Spongebob: End. That's great, Pat. (checks paper) Hmm, seems kinda short.
Patrick: I have an idea. Let's make it longer!
Spongebob: Longer, yes.Ok, let's have Mermaidman get his face shrunk by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.
Patrick: Yeah, and then he...umm...he drinks...cheese coffee.
Spongebob: (laughs) Good one, Pat. (both laugh)
Mr Krabs: What are ye lads doing?
Spongebob: We're making a movie.
Mr Krabs: Great! I got cimena's newest star, right here. (Spongebob looks through his fingers which make a square shape staring at Pearl. She giggles) So, what do ye say, lad?
Spongebob: Sure, Mr Krabs, Pearl can be in our movie.
Mr Krabs: I wasn't talking about Pearl. I was talking about the krabby patty. (Pearl cries)
Spongebob: You can be in it, too, Pearl.
Pearl: I'm gonna be a movie star. (cut to outside Shady Shoals)
Spongebob: Let's meet the highly skilled professionals who will help us fulfill your dream of being on the big screen. Sandy will handle the stunts and explosives. (Sandy holds up a bomb)
Sandy: Howdy.
Spongebob: Pearl is the leading lady. Mr Krabs will cater the affair. Patrick will run the camera.
Patrick: Hey... (knocks over the camera)
Spongebob: This is Squidward. He's in charge of the makeup department.
Squidward: Uh, no thanks. Who wants to be the 'makeup department'?
Spongebob: Not makeup department, you're the makeup artist.
Squidward: Artist?
Spongebob: Makeup artist.
Squidward: In that case, let's make those old crabapples sizzle. (cut to inside trailer where Squidward is getting ready to work on the heroes) Hmmm... (close-ups of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy old, wrinkly faces) Time for the art-eest to go to work. (takes out the flamethrower and gets to work. Banging and screaming are heard. Squidward staples their faces together) Voila!
Spongebob: Ok, places everybody. Squidward, are our heroes ready?
Squidward: As they'll ever be.
Spongebob: (gasps) They're beautfiul. (Mermaidman and Barnacleboy are tied up and look like sausage links) They look just like they did 30 years ago. (Mermaidman slurrping) Ok...action. (explosion)
Sandy: I love my new job.
Spongebob: Good job, Sandy.
Plankton: (has a mini ManRay head on) Psst...I, ManRay, have returned from the murky depths to seek my revenge and banish your souls to the nether regions. Their defense are strong but they are no match for my ManRay ray. (takes out a flashlight and turns it on)
Spongebob: What are you doing?
Plankton: Spongebob, this role was made for me.
Spongebob: That villian isn't even in this movie. But let me see if we have something that fits your qualifications. Oh, here's something. (takes microphone stand) You can be the boom operator.
Plankton: I thought Sandy was the boom operator.
Sandy: Did somebody say boom? (explosion)
Plankton: All right, Spongebob, but you're squandering my talents.
Spongebob: Ok, Patrick, start the movie!
Assistant: Take one.
Mermaidman: We have to get back to those swollen krabby patties.
Spongebob: Cut! No, Mermaidman, it's "stolen krabby patties."
Assistant: Take two.
Mermaidman: We have to get back to those stolen maggie daddies.
Spongebob: Cut! No, Mermaidman, it's "stolen krabby patties."
Assistant: Take 5003.
Mermaidman: We have to get back to those stolen krabby patties! And if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel... (mumbles due to microphone in his mouth)
Plankton: Give it back! (Mermaidman still mumbling)
Barnacleboy: I knew this was a bad idea.
Spongebob: Cut! Plankton, next time could you keep the boom out of shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job.
Plankton: This is humiliating. I'm not good at this boom thing.
Sandy: Did somebody say boom? (explosion)
Pearl: Oh, daddy, you said I was going to be a star.
Mr Krabs: You are, Pearl. Mermaidman wouldn't be anywhere without you. Go out there and break a leg.
Pearl: Yeah! (runs off)
Spongebob: Ok, action.
Mermaidman: To the boat mobile. (both jump on the boat mobile, who is really Pearl on her back with wheels)
Spongebob: Cue the sound effects. (Pearl uses her tongue for boat engine)
Mermaidman: Listen to that engine purr. (assistant is straining as he tries to pull Mermaidman, Barnacleboy, and Pearl up a steep cliff)
Spongebob: Almost there! (assistant grabs the edge of the cliff but it breaks off causing them to slide down and into the air. Then come crashing down onto the set. Pearl gets off of Spongebob)
Patrick: Good morning, Spongebob.
Spongebob: Everything's ruined! Well, at least we got the footage.
Patrick: Yeah, I got the footage.
Spongebob: Patrick, what is that?
Patrick: Oh, it's a camera.
Spongebob: No, Patrick, this. (lens cap in hand)
Patrick: Oh, that's a lens cap.
Spongebob: Did you just put that on?!
Patrick: Yup, I didn't want to lose it so it there right before we started filming. (Spongebob goes crazy)
Spongebob: (cries) The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie.
Mermaidman: Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912. We were surrounded. The Kelp-Thing was to our right and there broccoli on the side. But if there was one thing I remember, it was how to forget.
Spongebob: Patrick, this is good. Roll the film.
Mermaidman: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the...space! The final countdown. Stick to the...stick to the...Loo, my darling! Lou! (falls on ground) Now go out there and finish this movie, kid. (cut to Krusty Krab at night)
Spongebob: Mr Krabs, why are you weeping?
Mr Krabs: I closed early for your movie. Where are the paying customers? You promised a full house.
Spongebob: And here comes the filling! (fan club comes rushing into the Krusty Krab) The Mermaidman and Barnacleboy Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Mermaidman and Barnacleboy movie.
Club Leader: Actually, the real movie was sold out. I'll take 200 tickets, please. (hands Mr Krabs stack of money)
Mr Krabs: Now, this is what I call a happy ending.
Barnacleboy: (movie starts) Well, our big moment, us up on the big screen. (Mermaidman is sleeping)
Spongebob: (on-screen) Fort Lox: home to over 5-billion krabby patties. What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with its trasure? (a piece of kelp on strings comes down) It is I, Kelp-Thing! Do what I do!
Mermaidman: (on-screen) Stop! You can't do that. Forbidden.
Spongebob: (on-screen as Kelp-Thing) Watch me!
Mermaidman: Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain. (Sandy comes in as Mermaidman's stunt double. Then Mermaidman shows up on screen again) You may have won the krabby patties, but the battle rages on. (real krabs are fighting) Mermaidman...nacleboy, unite! (both put rings together. Then 'FIN' comes on-screen)
Spongebob & Patrick: (cheering) Yay!
Mermaidman: Well, kid, you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones. (bone breaks)
Barnacleboy: Well, at least some of them. (all laugh)
End