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Walking the Plankton

(inside SpongeBob's pineapple. The lights are off and a slide show is about to begin with all the main characters)
Plankton: (laughs) Salutations, puny mortals. I am the Great Genie of the Slide Carousel. Oooh! Endure my vacation slides or I shall grant you three miseries.
Mr. Krabs: It's supposed to be three wishes.
Plankton: Silence, red one! Withstand my slides.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, for... (grumbles)
SpongeBob: Yay! (Plankton turns the projector on, but gets trapped between the light and a slide and gets burned. Screams and jumps out of the top of the projector, destroying the other slides)
SpongeBob: Everything okay in there, O'Great Genie?
Plankton: What are you mocking me, kid? Of course everything's not okay. I can't show my slides.
SpongeBob: Well, that's not the can-do spirit. (takes the projector light, puts it in one of his holes on his back, and turns it on. Uses his tongue to carry the slides)
Plankton: Now we're cooking with blubber. My second honeymoon. It started out as any romantic getaway should-- with five days of round-the-clock surveillance. (cut to Plankton spying through a telescope at the Krusty Krab. Pan over to the mailman sneaking up to the mailbox, inserting a letter. SpongeBob sees this and jumps on the mailman, twirls around him, and gets the letter out of the mailbox)
SpongeBob: Ooh, a letter. Thank you, Mr. Mailman!
Mailfish: Boy, if I weren't already on parole...
SpongeBob: (crashes through the Krusty Krab roof) Mail call! (uses his teeth to open the envelope)
Mr. Krabs: Attaboy! (laughs and reads the letter) It's free tickets!
SpongeBob: Free tickets. For what, Mr. Krabs? (reads the letter out loud) "You and a guest have won a week of relaxation on a luxury ocean cruise ship."
Mr. Krabs: Whoo-hoo! Works for me! (grabs his suitcases from underneath the floorboards) Gentlemen, I'm leaving you in charge. See you when I see you!
SpongeBob: (looks at the letter) Oh, Mr. Krabs, this says "you and a guest."
Mr. Krabs: (stops) Well, I suppose I could make that extra ticket available to... say... whoever wants to be me manservant?
SpongeBob: (carrying Mr. Krabs' bags) Right this way, sir! (walk out the Krusty Krab)
Plankton: (looking through his telescope) You might as well hand over that secret formula right now. 'Cause once you shove off it's as good as mine! (laughs) What in sea bottoms?
Mr. Krabs: (to SpongeBob) Now lookee here, boy. I'm bringing along the secret formula as a precaution, just in case our absence proves to tempting to a certain one-eyed creepy-crawly.
Plankton: Well played, Krabs. Well played, indeed. But, as usual, this one-eyed creepy-crawly is one step ahead of you. (pulls down a chart explaining Plan B) You can't beat Plan "B." You can't beat it. Ah, this is going to be so sweet! Karen, we are going on a luxury cruise.
Karen: A cruise? Just the two of us? Oh, Plankton! (cries joyously then stops and stares at Plankton) Hey, if this is another scheme to steal the secret formula, you can leave me home.
Plankton: No, of course not. (releases the chart) Just think of it as our second honeymoon.
Karen: Don't you have to have a first honeymoon before you embark on a second?
Plankton: Why don't I bump those vacation settings up a smidge? (Plankton turns the knob on Karen's computer settings)
Karen: Oh, Plankton, this second honeymoon is gonna be so great!
Plankton: (pulls a big suitcase) Yeah, it's going to be groovy, babe. Now a quick check of the vacation inventory. Suntan lotion, sunglass, death laser.
Karen: Got it. (shoots a blue laser through the suitcase, splitting it in half) Did you see the pretty laser, honey?
Plankton: See it?! It almost split me in half!
Karen: Whoops, sorry! I'm just so excited about our cruise. Cruisey cruise cruise. (giggles) Cruise. Cruise. Cruise! (Plankton changes the settings on Karen again to where she starts snoring) Cruise. Cruise...
Plankton: Gotta rethink that vacation algorithm when we get back. (cut to the cruise ship where everyone is having fun)
Plankton: (Plankton and Karen are sitting in some chairs) Nothing tops kickin' back next to my loving computer wife and soaking up the rays.
Karen: Oh, I hope I don't get screen burn. (laughs)
Plankton: Let me give you a hand with that, honey. (applies sunscreen on Karen's screen)
Karen: Oh, Plankton, you're such a sweet husband when you aren't obsessing over that stupid secret formula.
Plankton: (sees SpongeBob wheeling Mr. Krabs around in a wheelchair) There he is, that swabby fool. Your turn now, Krabs.
Karen: Plankton, who are you denouncing now?
Plankton: The d'oeuvres guy. He's late with my nibbles again.
Karen: Oh, don't get all worked up, Plankton. Lets just focus on spending some quality time together alone for a change. (Plankton sees Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob again)
Mr. Krabs: (laughing) Now push me back to the top. Push me to the top!
Waiter: Would you like a nibble, sir?
Plankton: Is that Kelp Cheese? (grabs the cheese, falls back, and the cheese comes down on top of his head. Karen snaps a photo of Plankton)
Karen: That snack is as big as you are! (laughs)
Plankton: Very funny, Karen. Perhaps you should of married a pile of cheese. That's it! (Plankton shapes the kelp cheese into a sculpture of himself and runs off)
Mr. Krabs: (doing tricks in the wheelchair with SpongeBob pushing) Whee! (Plankton gets to the top of the stairs. Screams after getting run over by the wheelchair) Did you hear that? (Plankton groans and is no longer there) I could've sworn that I heard Plankteron.
SpongeBob: Hey, me too.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, well. One more time around the deck.
Plankton: (gets back into his chair) I'm so exhausted! How's it going, honey?
Karen: (snores then wakes up) Oh, hi, Plankton. I must of activated sleep mode. Oh, what a great idea this was, getting away from your usual shenanigans.
Plankton: Yeah, sure is. (sees Mr. Krabs) Just sit back while I massage your wheels. (does so)
Karen: Now you're making me so tired. (snores)
Plankton: Sleep well, babe. (laughs. Cut to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs in a sauna. Plankton is in a bowl of water. Almost gets scooped up by SpongeBob) Whew, that was close. (another fish scoops him up)
Fat Hairy Fish: Boy, I'm so sweaty. (pours the water on his back. Plankton slides into the back of his shorts)
Plankton: I hate you, Krabs. (cut to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs playing shuffleboard)
Mr. Krabs: Whoo-hoo!
Plankton: You're not getting away this time!
Mr. Krabs: I'm feeling lucky! (Mr. Krabs hits the puck into the air. Plankton screams. Cut to SpongeBob watching Mr. Krabs skiing in the water, behind the cruise ship)
Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah! Whoo-hoo!
SpongeBob: Go, Mr. Krabs!
Plankton: I don't care anymore. Formula or no formula, I'm taking you down. (takes out a knife. The ship tips left and right, sending Plankton into the water and into the ship's propellor, cutting Plankton in half) Alright, alright! I give up! I know when I'm beat!
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, what's all this? "Free Land Food." Sounds so exotic. (picks up a piece of corn and sniffs it) Hmm, this looks promising. (takes a bite, then spits it out at SpongeBob) That tastes like putrified coral stems dipped in rotten butter sauce.
SpongeBob: Mmm, yeah.
Mr. Krabs: (moans and sits in a chair) How can anyone stand this slop? Makes me miss our grub back at the old Krusty Krab. SpongeBob, be a good manservant and fix me up a Krabby Patty, would you?
SpongeBob: A good fry cook is never far from his grill, sir. (takes out a suitcase, pushes a button, and it becomes a grill. Begins cooking a Krabby Patty. The aroma carries over to the other passengers)
Female Fish: What is that delicious smell?
Fred: I don't know, but I want it, whatever it is.
SpongeBob: Order up, Mr. Krabs! (about to bite into the Krabby Patty when a bunch of passengers come running up)
Fish #2: Do you smell that?
Fish #3: I can taste the smell.
Mr. Krabs: H-h-hey! Looks like we have a business venture on our hands. This vacation just got a whole lot more lucerative, if you know what I'm saying. Krabby Patties! Come and get your Krabby Patties--
Plankton: (wearing a derby hat and a mustache) Ahem. Good day, sirs. I would like to pilfer your-- I mean, purchase a Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: Hmm! Watch me sucker this guy. That will be a mere $100.
Plankton: That's all? Why certainly. (laughs as he hands Mr. Krabs the bill. They both laugh)
Mr. Krabs: Come to daddy! (sniffs the $100 bill) Hey, wait a minute, there's chum all over this bill. Hey, buddy, where'd you get this?
Plankton: The same place this is going-- the Chum Bucket Laboratory! Nice doing business, Krabs! (laughs. Flies off in a jet-pack)
Mr. Krabs: No!
SpongeBob: Stand back, sir. Leave this to your trusty manservant. (chases after Plankton)
Plankton: (laughing as he sprays smoke into Spongebob's face) Choke on that, you big-- (crashes into Karen. SpongeBob takes the patty)
Karen: I knew that you were up to something. I can't believe you tried to fool me for your own selfish needs. My second honeymoon ruined! (sobs)
Plankton: Well, technically it's your first.
Karen: Oh, would you can it already? I guess I have no choice but to turn up the settings on my vacation app. (turns up the knob herself)
Plankton: I don't think that's such a good... (Karen shoots her death laser, splitting the ship in half. The passengers jump off the ship)
Captain: (grumbles) If I wasn't on parole...
Mr. Krabs: (looking at the customers who jumped ship) Me customers! Aww! This vacation is a total bust.
Karen: (Plankton paddles away in a lifeboat) Thanks, my sweet little gondolier. This is going to be the best (shoots the death laser again) honeymoon ever.
End