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The Hot Shot

(at Mrs. Puff's Boating School)
SpongeBob: (singing) Going on down to Boating School, Boating School, Boating School. Going on down to Boating School, Not gonna let down Mrs. Puff! (notices a crowd cheering in front of him) For me? Well, on behalf on yours truly, I would like to thank each of you for such a wonderful and warm welcome. (shakes a female students hand) Thank you. (shakes another students hand) Thank you, sir.
Male Fish #1: What'd I do?
SpongeBob: (bumps into Mrs. Puff) Mrs. Puff, thank you most of all. (tries to kiss Mrs. Puff's hand but she takes it away)
Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, that warm welcome wasn't for you.
SpongeBob: It wasn't?
Mrs. Puff: No!
SpongeBob: Well, then who was it for?a
Female Fish #1: It was for him. (points to a race car pulling up. The driver and passenger gets out)
SpongeBob: (gasps) It's Tony Fast, the famous race boat driver, and is first born son Tony Fast, Jr!
Female Fish #2: I can't believe it's him! Ooh... (falls back into a students arms)
SpongeBob: I can't believe that I'm in the presence of such big celebrities.
Tony Fast: Good luck on your first day of school, son.
Tony Fast Jr: Yeah, whatever.
Tony Fast: Don't show off too much! (chuckles) Show off just enough. (drives away. The students cheer for Tony Fast Jr)
Male Fish #2: Hey, Tony Jr, wanna sign my lunch box?
Male Fish #1: You wanna sign my steering wheel?
Female Fish: Wanna sign my...
Make Fish #2: Hey, I was here first!
Female Fish #2: No, you weren't. I was!
Mrs. Puff: (blows on her whistle, takes a deep breath then coughs) While Tony Jr. is a student here, he will receive no special attention. He will be treated just like the rest of us, no exceptions. Now, Tony, report to the obstacle course where I will assess your abilities.
Tony Fast Jr: Sure thing, Teach.
Mrs. Puff: Hold it. (takes out a lunch box) Not until you've signed my lunchbox. (giggles)
Crowd: (cut to obstacle course) Go, Tony Jr., go! Go, Tony Jr., go! (he drives by them and they cheer)
Tony Fast Jr: Looks like it's my turn. (makes zig-zag turns) What goes around comes around. (goes around a giant anchor) Over and out. (drives by the students, who are cheering, and Mrs. Puff)
Mrs. Puff: (thinking) He is good. (gasps) If he's really that good, maybe there's a chance, just a chance, some of that good could rub off my most incorrigible student SpongeBob SquarePants. (out loud) Yes!
SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff?
Mrs. Puff: Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: What does "Incorrigible" mean?
(cut to SpongeBob in the drivers seat of the boat and Tony Jr in the passenger)
Tony Fast Jr: So you just want me to ride around with this dude for awhile?
Mrs. Puff: That's it.
Tony Fast Jr: Whatever. Let's roll!
SpongeBob: It's nice to finally meet you, Tony Fast, Jr.! (pants)
Tony Fast Jr: I said let's roll!
SpongeBob: (Sweating frantically) Okay, roll, roll, roll. Is there a button for that? (Starts pushing randomly on the front of the boat) I know I know this! It's around here somewhere. I...
Tony Fast Jr: Just drive!
SpongeBob: Just driving. (pushes the pedal to the metal) W-w-w-what do these dotted lines mean?
Tony Fast Jr: Relax man. You gotta relax.
SpongeBob: Relax, relax. Mrs. Puff hasn't taught us that yet.
Tony Fast Jr: No, I mean just relax man.
SpongeBob: Okay, just relaxing, man. Mm...relaxing. Relaxing. So hard. (eyelids shatter into pieces) I can't relax!
Tony Fast Jr: No, no, no, not like that. You just gotta let go.
SpongeBob: Let go?
Tony Fast Jr: Be cool.
SpongeBob: Be cool?
Tony Fast Jr: Be cool.
SpongeBob: Be cool. (slows down the boat enough to take a left turn and then around an anchor) Cool. (Drives up and down the road hill and finishes the course)
Tony Fast Jr: Not bad dude, not bad.
Female Fish #2: (gasps) It's a miracle.
Male Fish #2: (gets on knees) Neptune be praised!
Mrs. Puff: That went better than expected. Oh, if Tony Jr. can keep this up, then SpongeBob might even graduate and I'll be rid of him forever. Forever. (laughs) Forever!
Tony Fast Jr: Okay bro-jangles. Catch you... (flips out of the boat) ...on the flip-side. (snaps his fingers) What the..? (Mrs. Puff kisses his cheek. Cut to Tony Fast Jr walking on the boardwalk)
SpongeBob: Hey, Tony Jr?
Tony Fast Jr: Yeah, what is it? Can't you see I'm walking here?
SpongeBob: I can see that. And I'm eager to learn more from you.
Tony Fast Jr: Eager?
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Tony Fast Jr: I can't teach you anything more at this square school. No offense SquarePants.
SpongeBob: None taken!
Tony Fast Jr: Well, if you're really wanna learn more, you can come by my house laters. (walks away)
SpongeBob: Ooh, I'd be delighted to. (cut to SpongeBob outside Tony Fast Jr.'s house, pressing a speaker button)
Tony Fast Jr: Who is it?
SpongeBob: It's SpongeBob SquarePants!
Tony Fast Jr: Who?
SpongeBob: (slowly) SpongeBob SquarePants. (doors open and Tony Fast Jr is riding a unicycle) Tony Fast Jr!
Tony Fast Jr: Guy from school. Come on in.
SpongeBob: Nice place you got here Tony Jr.
Tony Fast Jr: Thanks. Lived here all my life. My mom and dad are out.
SpongeBob: Ohh! Uh, what does that mean?
Tony Fast Jr: It means you wanna see my dad's vintage speedboat collection?
SpongeBob: Oh, would I?! (cut to a garage with a bunch of speedboats and awards)
Tony Fast Jr: And he took first place in this beauty, surpassing speed records held by both Francis Baconskin Jr. and Smitty Tailpipe Rotherma.
SpongeBob: Wow, they're so shiny!
Tony Fast Jr: Pick your favorite.
SpongeBob: My favorite? Oh, I couldn't.
Tony Fast Jr: Why sure you can! What the big...?
SpongeBob: (stands by and points to a red boat with flames and the number eight on it) This one!
Tony Fast Jr: Huh? The Baytona Classic. Excellent choice. (grabs the keys for it) Want to take her for a spin?
SpongeBob: A spin? But we don't even have boating licenses.
Tony Fast Jr: (already in the boat SpongeBob picked out) You don't need a boating license for a race boat, SquarePants! (cut to SpongeBob driving the the Baytona Classic)
SpongeBob: Wow Tony Jr! She handles like a dream. It's like I'm floating on air.
Tony Fast Jr: (hang-gliding on the back of the boat) You're telling me!
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're comfrotable with me driving, though? I admit I'm feeling a little nervous.
Tony Fast Jr: I wouldn't if I were you. Remember it was you're nerves that made us almost crash before.
SpongeBob: (chuckles) My nerves! I almost forgot about... my nerves! (gets nervous and swerves around the road)
Pedestrian: Hey, watch it!
SpongeBob: Sorry, sir.
Tony Fast Jr: Just let go. (lets go of the hang-glider but grabs it again) Whew!
SpongeBob: Let go. Got it. (lets go of the steering wheel and puts his hands up in the air) Whee!
Tony Fast Jr: Go faster, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Faster?
Tony Fast Jr: Just let go of the brakes.
SpongeBob: If you say so! (sticks his foot in the air and takes a few curves) Whee! (rides down a street) Whee! (goes in a loop) Whee!
Tony Fast Jr: Now you're getting it.
SpongeBob: Whee! Red light! (Tony Fast Jr screams. SpongeBob stops the boat)
Tony Fast Jr: (in passengers seat) Real cool, SquarePants.
SpongeBob: Thanks TFJ. (another speed boat drives up beside them)
Teen #1: That's quite a fancy speed boat you got right there for a couple of squares!
Teen #2: What he said! (All three laugh)
SpongeBob: Thank you. And may I say how lovely your speed boat is, too, for bunch of circles? And by circles, I mean well-rounded individuals! (laughs)
Teen #1: A wise guy eh? Well then, how about you wise up to an unfriendly competition? Right here, right now.
Teen #2: Yeah, what he said.
SpongeBob: Right here, right now? It's a little short notice. I'll need to check my availability. (looks in his schedule book) Let's see...right now. (it's blank) Looks like I don't have anything scheduled for right now. Therefore, I would like to accept your challenge.
Tony Fast Jr: Yes!
SpongeBob: However! Certain safety concerns prevent me from doing so. Therefore I must decline.
Tony Fast Jr: SquarePants, I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
SpongeBob: I don't hear anything.
Tony Fast Jr: (slaps his forehead) Ugh. Look kid, being cool includes accepting this challenge. Anything less would be an embarrassment!
SpongeBob: I would never want to embarrass you Tony Jr. Therefore I accept your challenge.
Teen #1: Oh, it's on.
Teen #2: What he said.
Teen #1: Do you mind? (light changes green and both boats speed off. They pass by a group of citizens so fast, the citizens change clothes. SpongeBob takes a slight lead) Huh? (pushes down the pedal more and takes the lead and laughs)
Teen #2: What he said! (SpongeBob growls and pushes the pedal right into the metal and burns up some fire, scorching a little of Larry the Lobster)
Larry: Sweet! Instant tannage! (the street racer car slows down after noticing a policeboat behind a 'click it or ticket' sign)
SpongeBob: We're winning! We're winning! (they laugh as they pass a policeboat hiding behind a sign)
Cop #1: Whoa, did you see that!?
Cop #2: That guy wasn't just going fast.
Both: He was going Tony Fast!
SpongeBob: (hears the siren) Huh? Oh no! The cops are after us. What are we going to do?
Tony Fast Jr: What? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over that siren. (helicopter is chasing them now)
SpongeBob: Now there's a helicopter after us.
Tony Fast Jr: What's that? I couldn't hear you over that helicopter. (turns on the radio. Tony Fast is listening to it, too)
Radio Announcer: And in other news, son of racing legend Tony Fast is currently embroiled in a high speed chase, it is rumored that the... (the speedboat, policeboat, and the helicopter go past Tony Fast)
Tony Fast: What the...?
SpongeBob: What're we going to do? (sees Tony Fast in the mirror)
Tony Fast: Tony Jr, when I get my hands on you, I'm gonna...!
SpongeBob: Now your dad is after us!
Tony Fast Jr: Sorry, I couldn't hear you, my-- my-- my dad is after us? What're we gonna do?
SpongeBob: How should I know? He's your dad!
Tony Fast Jr: Well, just remember my advice, okay? All you got to do is let go. Be cool. Let go. Be cool.
SpongeBob: Do you see where letting go has gotten us so far, huh, Tony Jr?! (heavily pants)
Tony Fast Jr: No, but I see where it's getting us next! (SpongeBob screams and crashes through Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Mrs. Puff inflates. Cut to class)
Mrs. Puff: Well class, I regret to inform you that Tony Jr. is no longer with us. (class gasps) He was transferred to another school. However, I think, maybe, that Tony Jr. taught us all a valuable lesson.
SpongeBob: (in a hospital bed covered in bandages) Oh, oh, oh, never argue and drive?
Mrs. Puff: Close. The lesson is, never let you drive. (she's in bandages, too)
End