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High Tide Time

Episode: Hello Bikini Bottom!
Artist: Rodger Bumpass, Tom Kenny, Clancy Brown, Andy Samberg

I’m glad you asked
I’ll make it perfectly clear
I’m the guy you made smile from ear to ear
'Cause the sweet sound coming from this here direction
The entire ocean to hear

Now what I am proposing to you
Is something I feel it is my duty to do
I’m not just an admiring passerby
I want to be your concert promoting manager guy

Are you serious?
Is this a dream?
Colonel Carper’s the name
I think we’d make a great team

You and your musical compadre
Up there
Are the next big thing
I do solemnly swear

So what’re we waiting for
It’s high tide time
We go on tour

Together we’ll set sail
On a magical musical journey
Where you’ll play for at least a trillion
And that guy on that gurney

Screaming fans will insistently clap their hands for more
As you fly through the air doing your fourth encore
And remember to bring your rake
‘Cause Neptune only knows the money we’ll make

Did someone say “money”
I could swear that’s what I heard
I’ve got super-sensitive hearing
When it comes to that word

Yes he said “money” but more importantly he said “fans”
And not the type that blows air when you’re feeling too hot
The type that wants your autograph
On everything they’ve got

And I heard the word “team”
Which is special to me
‘Cause through the power of music
There’s no way we won’t get
To bond together in this special duet

So what’re we waiting for
It’s high tide time
We go on tour

The tour must consist
And I do persist
Of the tall one with halitosis
And the square one with the talented wrist

A dream wrapped in pain
I don’t know whether to smile or pout
Excuse me, Colonel
I’ll be taking over from here on out

But it was I who discovered
This soon-to-be famous pair
And I’m the one who knows what it takes
To get them there

You’ll need a tour bus, venues, you’ve got to build a buzz
You need equipment and roadies too
I’m the expert of all things concert promotionally speaking
You have no inkling you have no clue

Thanks for all the great tips
I think you should be on your way
Good-bye, good luck
Have a nice day

So what’re we waiting for
It’s high tide time
We go on tour