CherrySponge
There can only be one 'Jellyfishing King!'
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2017
- Messages
- 384
- Likes
- 164
Sportz? with slightly less scenes, less Sandy and more interaction between the Conch Street neighbours. Squidward's lines are somewhat less...harsh. SpongeBob and Patrick know what sports are. The competition has a different feel to it.
Total line count for each character:
SB: 35
Patrick: 23
Squidward: 21
Sandy: 2
Gary: 1
SB and Patrick: 3
[SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob and Patrick are pushing a bin out through the door and on to the curb.]
SpongeBob: Whew!
[A delivery truck drops a package on the curb.]
SpongeBob: Ooh, what's that?
Patrick: It looks like...a BOX!
SpongeBob: Wonder who it belongs to. Maybe it says on the other side.
Patrick: Nope.
Both: It doesn't.
SpongeBob: Great minds do think alike, after all. [They both grin at each other.]
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I just noticed it's open.
SpongeBob: It is?
Patrick: Yup. Sure is.
SpongeBob: Ooh. Ah. Well, would ya look at this? It's-it's-it's sports equipment!
Patrick: Ha, ah, I knew that. Totally! Uh-what do you do with sports equipment?
SpongeBob: TONS of stuff, buddy. Like...
Both: Uh...
SpongeBob: Sudden brainwave.
[The scene changes to SpongeBob's library.]
For instance, have you ever heard of the knocking-a-book-off-a-shelf event?
Patrick: Sure haven't! But it sounds great.
SpongeBob: Let me give you an example.
[SpongeBob throws a golf club at the wall and a few books fall on Patrick's head.]
Patrick: Hey! SpongeBob, you're hitting me with all those heavy books.
SpongeBob: Oops. Sorry.
[The scene changes to SpongeBob's kitchen.]
Patrick: Ooh, ooh, I know, I know! This is the whipped cream event.
SpongeBob. [laughs] No, Patrick, because we're talking about sports. There's no such thing.
Patrick: Well, to me there is.
SpongeBob: Let's invent it!
Both: Yeah!
[They both eat whipped cream from two bowling balls. The scene changes to SpongeBob's living room.]
SpongeBob: And this event is my favourite of all.
Patrick: Does it have something to do with your snail?
SpongeBob: Heck, no! I would never hurt Gary or use him for cheap entertainment! This is the classic game of find-Gary-a-new-bed.
Patrick: Fancy.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: He says you're a very good friend to me, Patrick.
Patrick: Heh...what does that mean?
[The scene changes to Squidward's house. Squidward is getting himself lunch.]
Squidward: Oh, it may have taken you all morning, Squidward, but this is a meal fit for a fabulous cephalopod. Such as myself. [smiles as a tennis ball flies through his window] Drat! I know I shouldn't have left that window open. SpongeBob! Patrick! What do you two think you're doing?
SpongeBob: I fancy some kar-ah-tay!
Patrick: Right behind ya, buddy!
SpongeBob: Now let's-
Squidward: Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Please, I strongly advise you not to go any further with your so called kar-ah-tay, because you'll wreck something else!
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward. Such as?
Squidward: [groans] My window.
SpongeBob: Oh! I must've been pretty stupid to forget about your window.
Squidward: You can say that again. Well, what are you waiting for?! Get that dumb equipment of my garden!
SpongeBob: It's not dumb! It creates the most fabulous games. If only you knew. Me and Patrick have been having so much fun lately.
Patrick: Yeah. Trying to figure stuff out.
Squidward: Well, if you two are so super dedicated to your sports, how's about I challenge you?
SpongeBob: Ooh! I like a challenge.
Patrick: It's a deal.
Squidward: Good. [grins as they all shake hands.] The first game is the horseshoe toss. [muttering to himself] I'll be sure to win this.
Patrick: Great choice, Squidward.
SpongeBob: Okay, so who goes first?
Squidward: You, if you like. But, oh! I forgot the most important part of the game. There's this one rule that everyone has to follow. You have to do it blindfolded.
SpongeBob: [eyes get bigger] Really?
Squidward: Yes. You want to play by the rules, don't you?
SpongeBob: Uh, yeah, kinda, heh.
Squidward: Go ahead, then. [smiles at him as he walks forward.]
SpongeBob: [picks up the horseshoe, but then hesitates] Are you SURE about this, Squidward?
Squidward: YES!
SpongeBob: Okay, okay! [tosses it] Woo! Ten points!
Squidward: [in his mind] That's not a bad start. It's a truly treacherous thought, but what if SpongeBob wins instead of me?
[Time lapse to the next game.]
I'm sure you two are familiar with ice-skating. It's a favourite in Bikini Bottom. So if you get it wrong, you'll have to pa-uh, I mean, get help from me.
Patrick: Sounds terrible.
SpongeBob: Really terrible.
Squidward: Ready, set, skate!
SpongeBob: Ooh! It's started! We'd better not waste any time, Patrick. Hey, Patrick, how are you doing that?
Patrick: Practice. [the camera zooms out far enough for us to see Patrick doing tricks with only his tongue to support him.]
Squidward: [in his mind] They're incredible. Could it be...I'll have to admit defeat?
SpongeBob: Woo! Nice one, Pat!
Patrick: It takes guts, doesn't it, SquarePants?
Squidward: Oh, brother...
[Time lapse to the final game.]
No one is better at basketball than the true professionals.
SpongeBob: You said it! I'd still sure like to give it a try.
Patrick: Me too!
Squidward: [stressed] Okay, out on to the field. And don't forget the rules.
SpongeBob: [stops walking] Nice try, Squidward. Basketball doesn't have any rules. It's just for fun.
Squidward: [gasp] What makes you invertebrates think it's "just for fun"? This is a proper competition, and there have been rules applied to every single last game!
SpongeBob: [hesitates] Guess I can't argue with that.
Patrick: Me neither.
Squidward: [wiping brow] Phew. I'm still in, thank Neptune.
SpongeBob: What was that? Afraid we'll wipe you out?
Squidward: No, I said nothing just then! Nothing!
SpongeBob: [taunting face] I think I'm even more eager to play now, aren't you, Patrick?
Patrick: He already looks like he needs a rest.
Squidward: That's it! [angrily, he throws the basketball into the air but to his surprise it goes through the net] I-I did it! I actually won something! Victory is mine! Ha-ha! [does victory dance]
SpongeBob: [confused] Wait. You signed us up to these fun-tastic games, hoping you would win every one? That's not really how sports work, Squidward.
Squidward: I just wanted a competition, and you two morons got one! Besides, technically you should be happy, because you've still won more games than me!
Patrick: Well, we are. But we want you to have the winning cup. Because you're our friend.
Squidward: Me?
SpongeBob: Of course! Who else would we give it to? [Sandy is walking by]
Sandy: Well, that's mighty generous. But I think I would be just as happy to recieve a trophy like that.
SpongeBob: Today, everyone's a winner! [everyone but Sandy cheers]
Sandy: Not if I challenge one of you!
Everyone sans Sandy: Actually, that can wait... [they all leave in a hurry]
The end
Total line count for each character:
SB: 35
Patrick: 23
Squidward: 21
Sandy: 2
Gary: 1
SB and Patrick: 3
[SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob and Patrick are pushing a bin out through the door and on to the curb.]
SpongeBob: Whew!
[A delivery truck drops a package on the curb.]
SpongeBob: Ooh, what's that?
Patrick: It looks like...a BOX!
SpongeBob: Wonder who it belongs to. Maybe it says on the other side.
Patrick: Nope.
Both: It doesn't.
SpongeBob: Great minds do think alike, after all. [They both grin at each other.]
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I just noticed it's open.
SpongeBob: It is?
Patrick: Yup. Sure is.
SpongeBob: Ooh. Ah. Well, would ya look at this? It's-it's-it's sports equipment!
Patrick: Ha, ah, I knew that. Totally! Uh-what do you do with sports equipment?
SpongeBob: TONS of stuff, buddy. Like...
Both: Uh...
SpongeBob: Sudden brainwave.
[The scene changes to SpongeBob's library.]
For instance, have you ever heard of the knocking-a-book-off-a-shelf event?
Patrick: Sure haven't! But it sounds great.
SpongeBob: Let me give you an example.
[SpongeBob throws a golf club at the wall and a few books fall on Patrick's head.]
Patrick: Hey! SpongeBob, you're hitting me with all those heavy books.
SpongeBob: Oops. Sorry.
[The scene changes to SpongeBob's kitchen.]
Patrick: Ooh, ooh, I know, I know! This is the whipped cream event.
SpongeBob. [laughs] No, Patrick, because we're talking about sports. There's no such thing.
Patrick: Well, to me there is.
SpongeBob: Let's invent it!
Both: Yeah!
[They both eat whipped cream from two bowling balls. The scene changes to SpongeBob's living room.]
SpongeBob: And this event is my favourite of all.
Patrick: Does it have something to do with your snail?
SpongeBob: Heck, no! I would never hurt Gary or use him for cheap entertainment! This is the classic game of find-Gary-a-new-bed.
Patrick: Fancy.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: He says you're a very good friend to me, Patrick.
Patrick: Heh...what does that mean?
[The scene changes to Squidward's house. Squidward is getting himself lunch.]
Squidward: Oh, it may have taken you all morning, Squidward, but this is a meal fit for a fabulous cephalopod. Such as myself. [smiles as a tennis ball flies through his window] Drat! I know I shouldn't have left that window open. SpongeBob! Patrick! What do you two think you're doing?
SpongeBob: I fancy some kar-ah-tay!
Patrick: Right behind ya, buddy!
SpongeBob: Now let's-
Squidward: Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Please, I strongly advise you not to go any further with your so called kar-ah-tay, because you'll wreck something else!
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward. Such as?
Squidward: [groans] My window.
SpongeBob: Oh! I must've been pretty stupid to forget about your window.
Squidward: You can say that again. Well, what are you waiting for?! Get that dumb equipment of my garden!
SpongeBob: It's not dumb! It creates the most fabulous games. If only you knew. Me and Patrick have been having so much fun lately.
Patrick: Yeah. Trying to figure stuff out.
Squidward: Well, if you two are so super dedicated to your sports, how's about I challenge you?
SpongeBob: Ooh! I like a challenge.
Patrick: It's a deal.
Squidward: Good. [grins as they all shake hands.] The first game is the horseshoe toss. [muttering to himself] I'll be sure to win this.
Patrick: Great choice, Squidward.
SpongeBob: Okay, so who goes first?
Squidward: You, if you like. But, oh! I forgot the most important part of the game. There's this one rule that everyone has to follow. You have to do it blindfolded.
SpongeBob: [eyes get bigger] Really?
Squidward: Yes. You want to play by the rules, don't you?
SpongeBob: Uh, yeah, kinda, heh.
Squidward: Go ahead, then. [smiles at him as he walks forward.]
SpongeBob: [picks up the horseshoe, but then hesitates] Are you SURE about this, Squidward?
Squidward: YES!
SpongeBob: Okay, okay! [tosses it] Woo! Ten points!
Squidward: [in his mind] That's not a bad start. It's a truly treacherous thought, but what if SpongeBob wins instead of me?
[Time lapse to the next game.]
I'm sure you two are familiar with ice-skating. It's a favourite in Bikini Bottom. So if you get it wrong, you'll have to pa-uh, I mean, get help from me.
Patrick: Sounds terrible.
SpongeBob: Really terrible.
Squidward: Ready, set, skate!
SpongeBob: Ooh! It's started! We'd better not waste any time, Patrick. Hey, Patrick, how are you doing that?
Patrick: Practice. [the camera zooms out far enough for us to see Patrick doing tricks with only his tongue to support him.]
Squidward: [in his mind] They're incredible. Could it be...I'll have to admit defeat?
SpongeBob: Woo! Nice one, Pat!
Patrick: It takes guts, doesn't it, SquarePants?
Squidward: Oh, brother...
[Time lapse to the final game.]
No one is better at basketball than the true professionals.
SpongeBob: You said it! I'd still sure like to give it a try.
Patrick: Me too!
Squidward: [stressed] Okay, out on to the field. And don't forget the rules.
SpongeBob: [stops walking] Nice try, Squidward. Basketball doesn't have any rules. It's just for fun.
Squidward: [gasp] What makes you invertebrates think it's "just for fun"? This is a proper competition, and there have been rules applied to every single last game!
SpongeBob: [hesitates] Guess I can't argue with that.
Patrick: Me neither.
Squidward: [wiping brow] Phew. I'm still in, thank Neptune.
SpongeBob: What was that? Afraid we'll wipe you out?
Squidward: No, I said nothing just then! Nothing!
SpongeBob: [taunting face] I think I'm even more eager to play now, aren't you, Patrick?
Patrick: He already looks like he needs a rest.
Squidward: That's it! [angrily, he throws the basketball into the air but to his surprise it goes through the net] I-I did it! I actually won something! Victory is mine! Ha-ha! [does victory dance]
SpongeBob: [confused] Wait. You signed us up to these fun-tastic games, hoping you would win every one? That's not really how sports work, Squidward.
Squidward: I just wanted a competition, and you two morons got one! Besides, technically you should be happy, because you've still won more games than me!
Patrick: Well, we are. But we want you to have the winning cup. Because you're our friend.
Squidward: Me?
SpongeBob: Of course! Who else would we give it to? [Sandy is walking by]
Sandy: Well, that's mighty generous. But I think I would be just as happy to recieve a trophy like that.
SpongeBob: Today, everyone's a winner! [everyone but Sandy cheers]
Sandy: Not if I challenge one of you!
Everyone sans Sandy: Actually, that can wait... [they all leave in a hurry]
The end