SpongeBob Who?/My Shorts/Kranky

[Stinkoman 20X6]

This fic was actually one of Spongey444's ideas. He PM'd one day asking if I could make a fic out of one of his ideas from Make Your Own Episode. I picked this one.

SpongeBob Who?
Written by
PokDouglas

Directed by
PokDouglas

Original Story by
Spongey444

Anything Else I Forgot
PokDouglas
Spongey444

We cut to SpongeBob's backyard. SpongeBob was in his karate gear from Karate Choppers and No Weenies Allowed. Patrick was also there wearing three rubber gloves (one of them being worn on his head).

SpongeBob: Patrick, why do you want me to teach you karate?
Patrick: Cause...what if I need to use it someday? What if that scary clown from Glove World tries to KILL ME?!!?
SpongeBob: Patrick, even if I could teach you, you couldn't use kay-rah-tae to save your own life!
Patrick: Aw, but look! I have my own "karrot-tie" gear right here!
SpongeBob: Patrick, those are rubber gloves.
Patrick: I believe the more sophisticated term is "karate-prepared hand and head coverings".
SpongeBob: But you only have two rubber gloves. Where's you get that third one?
Patrick: (shifitng eyes) Uhhhh....Stevie?
SpongeBob: Stevie doesn't own any rubber gloves (muttering) surprisingly.
Patrick: Um...Squidward?
SpongeBob: (imitating Squiddy's tentacles) Squidward's gloves are made to fit on his tentacles.
Patrick: Okay, okay! I stole it from the toolbox in your garage! Please don't eat me!
SpongeBob: (sigh) Remind me to burn it when we're done.
Patrick: Does rubber burn?
SpongeBob: Patrick, sometimes you make me want to just take your cone-shaped head and go... (makes really weird and obnaxious shooting and exploding noises)* Let's just get this over with! Show me what you already know!

Patrick ran up to the talest coral tree nearby and jumped down. He held his hand down ready to a karate chop at SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

He finally landed, fist-first directly into SpongeBob.

Patrick: I call it the Macho Patrick Chop-v! What do you think, SpongeBob? SpongeBob? (looks down) SpongeBob!!!

SpongeBob lay on the ground, badly injured and nearly unconcious.

SpongeBob: *groaning in pain*

The last thing he barely saw was a frantic Patrick running towards him, right before he passed out.

Next scene: Amnesia!!!

By the way...the scene with SpongeBob trying to teach Patrick karate is not only based on Spongey444's original idea, but it's also foreshadowing to Kay-Rah-Tae: The Movie.

*If you have a really really really really really really really really really really really really really good reading memory, you probably maybe just might remember that line from Sleepover at Patrick's.

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Amnesia!!!

We cut to the Bikini Bottom Hospital from several episodes. SpongeBob was lying with a hospital bed with wires suctioned to him. Patrick, Sandy, and Stevie were there.

Doctor: Well, boys, I have come to this simple conclusion. Never ever ever attempt the "Manly Patrick Jump-c" again.
Patrick: It's "Macho Patrick Chop-v".

Stevie and Sandy both stared angrily at him.

Stevie: Now you really done it. You know that?
Doctor: There's uh...something else.
Sandy: What is it?
Doctor: Well, we scanned his memory impulse, and I'm sorry to say this, but...your friend SpongeBob has...amnesia.
Stevie: Oh, no! Not amnesia! Oh, the pure squishy horror! (long pause) What's amnesia?
Sandy: It's when y'all lose yer memory. Y'all forget where y'all live, y'all don't remember things that happened, and in some cases, y'all don't even know who y'all're.
Stevie and Patrick: Woooooooooowwwwwwwwww.
Sandy: How long'll he be unconcious, doctor?
Doctor: I'd say half a day. So come later today, say...after you've all eaten dinner.

*bubble transition*

It was now early afternoon. The sun was going down so everything had an orange tint to it (similar to Pokmon Diamond/Pearl). Sandy knocked on Patrick's rock. The rock opened with Patrick on the cieling (similar to earlier episodes of the series). He had pumpkin juice all over his face.

Patrick: Hi, Sandy!
Sandy: Lemme guess. Y'all had a pumpkin pie for dessert.
Patrick: Nope, I gorged down an entire pumpkin for dinner.
Sandy: (looks around) Where's Stevie?
Patrick: He's still eating dinner.

Sandy and Patrick peeked through one of Stevie's windows to see that Stevie had apparently inherited SpongeBob's cooking skills as he had prepared himself a huge Krabby Patty shmorgasboard and he had only eaten one-third of it. Right now, he was halfway through a big Krabby Bean Burrito. Sandy broke through the window and grabbed him.

Sandy: Come on!

BTTNS.

Next scene: Who Am I?

 

[SquidwardLover]

Taking my Sandy accent advice eh PokDouggie?

Pretty good so far.

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Man that beginning was awesome. I like that part with the pumpkin.

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

By the way, just so everyone knows, this fic does take place after Dandy Sandy Candy.

Who Am I?

Sandy, Patrick, and Stevie (still eating his burrito) arrived at the hospital.

Stevie: (mouth full) He's not awake yet?
Doctor: Nope. Any minute now.

Sandy checked her watch.

Sandy: Aw, she-oot, I'm late. (starts to leave)
Patrick: Where ya going, Sandy?
Sandy: Ah gotta go to a family reunion back home in Texas and it takes da rest o' today just to get dare.

She grabbed a hat similar to Mr. Timbacks's, only brown instead of greenish, and then dashed out the door. Just as she left, SpongeBob started squinting a little. He slowly opened his eyes.

SpongeBob: (thinking) Wha-what is this? Where am I? (pause) Who am I? Hmmm. I know that's a doctor, but...who are those two people?
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're awake!
SpongeBob: SpogneBob? Is-is that my name?

There was a short silence before Stevie rgabbed onto Patrick's arm and started bawling.

Stevie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........................

SpongeBob, Patrick, and the Doctor just stared at him as he continued screaming "No". Patrick fianlly put duct tape over his mouth. He continued screaming, though muffled.

Patrick: You really don't remember anything?
SpongeBob: ...No. I don't. (pause) Who are you?

Stevie was still screaming.

Patrick: I'm your best friend, Patrick Star. And this is your other best friend, Stevie the Jellyfish.

Stevie had now stopped screaming and was attempting to stuff the burrito in his mouth. He was obviously oblivious to the fact his mouth was taped shut and was confused as to why the burrito wouldn't go into his mouth. He finally tried to force it in. This led to the entire burrito splatting in his face. Stevie, with his face now completely covered in Krabby beef, tapped Patrick's shoulder. patrick sighed and ripped the beef-covered tape off his mouth.

Stevie: Hey, you know, that was really unneccesar...Owwww!!!!!!
SpongeBob: (pointing to Stevie) He's weird.

Stevie was now scraping a handful of beef off his face. He stuffed it all (including his hand) into his mouth before burping out his slobbery hand. He started to scoop another handful.

Patrick: (watching him) He sure is.
SpongeBob: Man, what happened? Why does my head hurt?
Patrick: You were...trying to teach me karate and I kinda konked you out. Sorry.
SpongeBob: It's okay. I don't even remember any of that anyway.
Doctor: Unfortunately, you're gonna have to stay in the hospital till tomorrow, when your head feels better.
SpongeBob: Thanks.
Stevie: (as meat sauce is dripping down onto his clothes) Who knows? Maybe your amnesia'll be gone by tomorrow.

They started to walk out.

Patrick: (offscreen) Hey, can I have some of that burrito?

We heard the sound of Stevie splatting a handful into Patrick's face and then the meat sauce dripping.

Patrick: (offscreen) Thank you.

Offscreen, they closed the door. As the doctor walked out, SpongeBob fell asleep, wondering if he was ever gonna get his memory back.

Next scene: The Next Morning!

 

[patrick2403]

Really great! Good writing! <3

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Man, neither you or Stevie have ever let me down.

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

The Next Morning!

SpongeBob woke up to Patrick and Stevie nudging him.

SpongeBob: Huh-wha? Oh, hey, guys! What are you doing here? And why am I in the hospital?
Patrick: Cause I gave you a huge karate chop when you were trying to teach me karate.
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, that's right. Never ask me to teach you karate again.
Patrick: Huh? I thought you didn't remember that.
SpongeBob: What do you mean? Why would I not remember that?
Patrick: (to Stevie) Whoa...he remembers.
Stevie: Yeah, that's odd.
SpongeBob: Why are you guys talking to me like I have amnesia or something?

Patrick and Stevie gasped.

Stevie: It's a miracle!
Patrick: (hugging SpogneBob) You're back, Spongey!
SpongeBob: Where exactly did I go?
Stevie: (hugging them both) I don't know, and oddly...I don't care!

We cut otuside of the hospital.

Narrrator: Well, that made no sense.

End of SpongeBob Who?

Stevie: WHAT?!!? Huh-huh-huh-HUH?! What the heck? just happened?!!? STOP THE WORLD!!! I WANNA GET OFF!!!

We cut to the Earth. It suddenly stopped rotating.

Stevie: What was that?! It's-it's-it's too short! What is going on?!!? First Dandy Sandy, now this?!!? Tell me why! I don't understand!

He suddenly tore off his right leg, stuffed it into his mouth, and ate it.

PokDouglas: Um, Stevie...first of all, don't ever eat one of your limbs again.

Stevie burped out his leg and stuck it back on.

PokDouglas: And well...I just wanted it to be short. I don't know, I just thought it would be so...I don't know.
Stevie: But it's so absurd and random!
PokDouglas: Well, being absurd and random is my specialty.
Stevie: Oh...okay then. (walks away)

Stay tuned for: My Shorts!

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

I love the part when the world stopped.

 

[Perry The Platypus]

RTHmk
YTTOO SHOERTT1`4 \
$%YT

 

[Band Geek]

RTHmk
YTTOO SHOERTT1`4 \
$%YT

Broken keyboard much?

 

[patrick2403]

I love this! Awesome! :tonguexd: :)

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

By the way, one a small note, I updated my "crayon drawings" of the characters on the FanFic Guide. Using paint, I gave them outlines, colroed them, and removed the margin lines from the scanned paper. I also put a purposely crude bitmap of SpongeBob next to each design to display the character's height compared to SpongeBob.

Don't ask about Goldilocks. The original drawing had such poor quality to it, that I had to redo it in Paint (because my mom doesn't have a scanner). Once I get back home, I'm gonna make a better-looking drawing and scan that in to replace Creepy Bitmap Goldie.

My Shorts!
Written and Directed by
PokDouglas

We cut to Patrick inside his rock walking towards his bed. From the camera view, we only saw him from the waist up.

Patick: Another long hard day of doing things that don't make sense! Sometimes I wonder how I make it out alive!

He walked over to his bed. The camera view finally zoomed out, but the bed blocked his lower body.

Patrick: But it's time to unwind, get down, and go to bed! As soon as I take off my...

Then he looked down. The camera finally revealed that he was in his underwear.

Patrick: ...shorts? (looking around) Where'd my shorts go? I could've sworn I just had them!

He looked under the bed. He messed up his entire house looking for the shorts. Then, he started smashing through his rock until it looked like cheese (i.e. holes).

He then started running up the tentacle of Stevie's home, tearing it up as he went.

Inside the bell, Stevie was reading "Duh and Duh-er" magazine in his bed. Coral was in a bed of nespaper next to him, sound alseep, and the alphabet song from Plankton! was playing on the radio.

Jus then, Patrick tore the wall open.

Patrick: A-ha!
Stevie: (stops the radio) Patrick?

Patrick flipped over Stevie's bed and looked under it.

Stevie: Ow.

He again tore up the bell of the home and even caused it to collapse. He then ran over to Squidward's house and tore the front wall off.

Patrick: Hand over the shorts, Squidward!

He jumped onto the half of the bathroom that was still there, where Squidward was taking a bath.

Squidward: Do you mind, Dumbo? I am trying to cleanse my body in a private and acceptable manner!

Patrick flipped the bathtub upside down causing Squidward, his brush, and all of the bubbly water to fall to the floor, which caved underneath them and landed in the half-foyer.

Squidward: Oh, phooey! It'll take a hundred contractors to repair all this damage! Look what you've done now, Patrick!
Patrick: Tell me about it! My shorts aren't here!

He ran out of the rubble and in front of SpongeBob's house. He attempted to scratch the walls, but this failed due to the shape of his hands.

Patrick: D'oh! Curse my lack of fignernails! Well, at least his house is edible.

With that, he clanched his teeth into the walls and sucked it all in, leaving just the floors, stairs, all of the house's contents, and of course, SpongeBob and Gary.

He then used his tongue as a grappling hook to wrap around the diving board over SB's bed. He climbed his tongue up to SpongeBob's room, where he and Gary were sound asleep.

Patrick tinkered with SpongeBob's clcok and set it to sound its horn. This obviously caused SpongeBob to wake up and be flown through the air before crashing onto the ground (due to the lack of walls). Patrick jumped down.

SpongeBob: Patrick, it's 11:20! What are you doing up this late?
Patrick: (points to his underwear) My shorts are missing! Stevie and Squidward don't have 'em, so you must've stolen them!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I...
Patrick: Aw, darn! Are you telling me you didn't take 'em either?! OH, SHORTS, WHERE COULD YOU BE?!!?

He then tore up SpongeBob's mattresses and then ripped his toilet out of the plumbing causing water to leak out and sog SpongeBob's house.

Patrick spent the rest of the night tearing up the neighborhood with SpongeBob following him trying to say something. Then it was very early morning. Patrick was now feeling exhausted.

Patrick: Shorts...shorts...shorts...

SpongeBob walked up to him, rubbing his eyes.

Patrick: SpongeBob...wh-where are my shorts?
SpongeBob: I've been trying to tell you, Patrick. You never put them on this morning.
Patrick: I...didn't?
SpongeBob: Nope.
Patrick: So...my shorts are in my dresser...folded and unworn?
SpongeBob: Yup. Thank goodness this was one of the few times you remembered to wear underwear. Good night, Patrick. (walks offscreen)
Patrick: Yeah...good night.

He walked back into his hole-filled rock and into bed. Just as he got settled in, his alarm clock rang.

Patrick: Ugh.

End of My Shorts

Narrator: To be Continued...

Stay turned for: Kranky!

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Woah, never even put them on. :thumbsup:

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Kranky!

Written by
PokDouglas

Directed by
PokDouglas

Anything Else I Forgot
PokDouglas

Narrator: Previously on SpongeBob SquarePants...

*footage from My Shorts*

Patrick: It's time to unwind and go to bed! As soon as I take off my...

Then he looked down.

Patrick: ...shorts? (looking around) Where'd my shorts go?
Patrick: Hand over the shorts, Squidward!

Patrick flipped the bathtub upside down causing Squidward, his brush, and all of the bubbly water to fall to the floor.

Patrick: (to SpongeBob) Stevie and Squidward don't have 'em, so you must've stolen them!
SpongeBob: You never put them on this morning.
Patrick: I didn't?
SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick.

He walked back into his hole-filled rock and into bed. Just as he got settled in, his alarm clock rang.

Patrick: Ugh.

*bubble transition*

That very same morning, SpongeBob's clock sounded. He awoke and crashed onto the ground (since the neighborhood was still damaged from My Shorts).

Since his bedroom was torn off, Squidward had to sleep in his backyard in a tent. His alarm clock sounded. He shut it off and sighed.

Meanwhile, Stevie slept under all the rubble of his house. His alarm clock was muffled and thus was not loud enough to wake him up.

Patrick squeezed himself out of his rock. He had bags under his eyes, he was slouching, his head was drooping down, his eyes were bloodshot, and his pants were smelly. (click here)

Patrick: Ergg, sun.

SpongeBob opened his door. Since there were no walls, the door fell to the floor. SpongeBob just walked over it and to Patrick, who was sitting down at the picnic table.

Patrick: What an ugly day today.
SpongeBob: (sitting down) Hey, Patrick! Are you ready for a fun day of jellyfishing?
Patrick: Nugg.
SpongeBob: Is that "you bet I am" in some sort of starfish language?

Patrick got in SpongeBob's face.

Patrick: Just leave me alone.

He got up and walked away.

SpongeBob: What's wrong with Patrick?

BTTNS.

Next scene: Face Full of Stevie!

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Nice drawing of what Patrick looks like now.

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Face Full of Stevie!

SpongeBob and Stevie crouched behind a coral bush watching Patrick. He swatted at a jellyfish.

Patrick: Get away from me, I want to be left alone!
SpongeBob: He's been like that all morning and I can't get him to snap out of it.
Stevie: Tsk tsk tsk. Why don't you just sit back and watch you ol' pal Stevie take care of this?

He pulled out a watermeleon and a mallet.

SpongeBob: Leave me something nice in your will.

Stevie walked over to patrick, set a table up, and placed the watermeleon on it. Then he smashed it with the hammer. Pieces of watermeleon splattered all over Patrick's face.

Stevie: ...Well?
Patrick: Well...(in Stevie's face)...WHAT?
Stevie: Aren't ya gonna say your line? (pause) That you say everytime I smash a watermeleon?
Patrick: That was fruit-tastic.
Stevie: Dahahaha....wait. Why aren't yu laughing too?

Patrick grabbed him and hurled him offscreen. Then something started bobbing around in his mouth. He opened it to reveal Stevie was covering his tongue. He slowly let Patrick's tongue out of his mouth.

Stevie: Hff, Phhatphh! Fuff! Fuff uf muh bigphh toang! {Hey, Patrick! Look! Look at my big tongue!}
Patrick: (with the voice from the "YAAI" scramer) You are an idiot, you are an idiot!

He took Stevie off hs tongue, chewed him up, and spit him out of a straw. Stevie instantly reappeared.

Stevie: Okay, how about some impressions?

He put on some glasses and a teaching shirt.

Stevie: Very odd parents! Very odd parents!

Next, he put on a pig's snout.

Stevie: Blea-bleah-bleah, that's it, folk people!

Then, he put a small swirl of chocolate ice cream on his head and put on a red shirt.

Stevie: I have to blast...or something. Um...

Next, he put on a blue sweater that was way too big for him.

Stevie: Wobba-wobba-wobbuffet!

He then held a cutout of Patrick in front of himself.

Stevie: (imitating Patrick's voice) Hey, Patrick! Who does this remind you of? Huh? Huh?
SpongeBob: This is painful to watch.
Stevie: Okay, for my grand finale, I got something that's gonna bring down the house on that frown o' yours!

He hauled in a huge vertical rectangular aquarium tank with a chair in it. He then wrapped himself in a straight jacket.

Stevie: For this, I'm gonna need a volunteer. How about...(points to SpongeBob)...you?
SpongeBob: Aw, fish paste.
Patrick: (runs to SpongeBob) Were you spying on me?!
SpongeBob: Ummm...glad to help, Stevie.

He walked over to Stevie.

Stevie: As soon as I get in, my assistant here will lock the tank shut and cover it with a curtain.

He jumped into the tank and landed in the chair. SpongeBob did as he said and locked the cage and pulled a curtain and then a few seconds later, he pulled it back. Stevie had somehow escaped.

Stevie: Ta-da!
SpongeBob: (clapping hands) Bravo, isn't he something?!

Patrick just stared carelessly. Then, the tank fell down, revealing it was only a transulcent cutout.

Stevie: Oops.

Patrick grabbed both Stevie and SpongeBob by the heads.

Patrick: I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!!!

He threw them onto SpongeBob's roof.

Stevie: Man, he's a tough nut to crack.
SpongeBob: I'll say. But I'm late for work. Try to figure something out until I get back.

He jumped off and a BTTNS appeared.

Next scene: Cranky Cranky Hippos!

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

All of Stevie's impressions were awesome.

 

[patrick2403]

Yes. Extremley good!

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Imitation Krabs

Patrick stood in his front yard, watching the scallops fly by. That's when Imitation Krabs from Imitation Krabs and Spy Buddies appeared.

Imitation Krabs: HELLO PATRICK. IT IS ME, MR. KRABS. SPEAKING TO YOU. RIGHT NOW. IN THE FLESH. HERE. YES.
Patrick: You're not Mr. Krabs.
Imitation Krabs: YES I AM FOOL. MU HAW HAW HAW HAW. AH HA HA HA HAHAHA.

We cut to show SpongeBob was controlling Imitation Krabs and Stevie was speaking. He was laughing evilly into the microphone.

Stevie: ...hahahahaha!!!!! Ooh-hee-hee-hee-ha! Muhawhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Ha...
SpongeBob: (swaps with Stevie) That's it, I'll do the talking. You man the controls.
Stevie: Aw, fish paste.
Imitation Krabs: HEY PATRICK.
Patrick: Yes, "Mr. Krabs"?
Imitation Krabs: YOU KNOW HOW YOU ALWAYS WANT A JOB AT THE KRUSTY KRAB AND I KEEP SAYING NO.
Patrick: No.
Imitation Krabs: YES YOU DO.
Patrick: No, I don't.
Imitation Krabs: YES YOU DO.
Patrick: No, I don't!
Imitation Krabs: YES YOU DO.
Patrick: No, I don't!
Imitation Krabs: NO YOU DON'T.
Patrick: Yes, I do!
Imitation Krabs: NO YOU DO NOT.
Patrick: YES, I DO!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD, MEATBALL!!!
Imitation Krabs: OKAY THEN. I AM HIRING YOU AS THE
Patrick: As the what?

SpongeBob was struggling to think of a job.

Stevie: How about janitor?
Imitation Krabs: JANITOR.
Patrick: Janitor?! What a dumb job! I want a better job! Wait a minute, I don't even want a job! You tricked me!

He tore the Imitation Krabs into pieces.

Stevie: Darn, it almost worked.

BTTNS.

Next scene: Hungry Hungry Hippo!