Well...we did it y'all. 559 episodes later, here we are. Let's do it.
A Place For Pets: 7/10
Lockdown For Love: 7.7/10
Under the Small Top: 6.6/10
Squidward’s Sick Daze: 9.5/10
Goofy Scoopers: 8.7/10
Pat The Dog: 9.3/10
Something Narwhal This Way Comes: 9.1/10
C.H.U.M.S.: 7.5/10
SpongeBob’s Road to Christmas: 7.3/10
Potato Puff: 8.4/10
There Will Be Grease: 9.4/10
The Big Bad Bubble Bass: 9/10
Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club: 9.4/10
Food PBFFT! Truck: 9.1/10
Upturn Girls: 9/10
Say Awww!: 8/10
Patrick the Mailman: 9.4/10
Captain Pipsqueak: 9.2/10
Plane to Sea: 8.6/10
Squidferatu: 9.6/10
Slappy Daze: 6.7/10
Welcome to Binary Bottom: 9.5/10
You’re Going to Pay…Phone: 7.1/10
A Skin Wrinkle in Time: 7.5/10
Abandon Twits: 9/10
Wallhalla: 6.5/10
Salty Sponge: 9.3/10
Karen For Spot: 7.3/10
Arbor Day Disarray: 7.6/10
Ain’t That The Tooth: 7.4/10
Ma and Pa’s Big Hurrah: 9.3/10
Yellow Pavement: 7.9/10
The Flower Plot: 9.1/10
SpongeBob on Parade: 8.4/10
Delivery to Monster Island: 6.5/10
Ride Patrick Ride: 9.6/10
Hot Crossed Nuts: 9.1/10
Sir Urchin and Snail Fail: 7.3/10
Friendiversary: 8.2/10
Mandatory Music: 7.2/10
Dopey Dick: 9.3/10
Plankton and the Beanstalk: 7.4/10
My Friend Patty: 5.6/10
FUN-Believable: 8.4/10
Spatula of the Heavens: 9/10
Gary’s Playhouse: 8.8/10
Swimming Fools: 9.6/10
The Goobfather: 9.1/10
SquidBird: 8.9/10
Allergy Attack!: 6.7/10
Big Top Flop: 9.4/10
Sandy, Help Us!: 9.3/10
Top 5:
5.
Squidward's Sick Daze
4.
Welcome to Binary Bottom
3.
Swimming Fools
2.
Squidferatu
1.
Ride Patrick Ride
Bottom 5:
5.
Allergy Attack!
4.
Slappy Daze
3.
Delivery to Monster Island
2.
Wallhalla
1.
My Friend Patty
Scoring:
Amazing: 24
Great: 8
Good: 13
Okay: 4
Mediocre: 1
Tolerable: 0
Bad: 0
Abysmal: 0
Additional Comments:
My oh my, season 13. Every season I relearn that I have greatly inflated my reviewing, but I can’t bring myself to care. If an episode makes me happy and brings a ray of light in my life, then what else am I to do but put it in Amazing tier? And I’m a positive person when it comes to my favorite show in the world, so of course it would turn out this way. But anyway, let’s get to talking about season 13.
I’ll eventually make an entire post/video about this, so I’m not going to get into it too much here, but this season really encapsulates a trend of the show that I’ve taken to calling the “self-referential turn”. This is something I began discussing in my season 11 review, but season 13 has a whole different vibe to it…perhaps because it was made after the death of Stephen Hillenburg. I wouldn’t say that the self-referential turn of the show is somber, but it feels more meaningful than the phrase “easter eggs” implies, you know? There’s also the whole idea of relationship development that I mentioned during my
review of “There Will Be Grease”. That’s an actual substantive take on this self-reference that we’ve never really seen the show do before because of its dedication to ignoring its own continuity.
Season 13 greatly improved on some of the deficiencies I found in season 12. The main issue I had with season 12 is that it kept moving outside the bounds of the show, and I think for the most part season 13 avoided such a thing. And it did so while still keeping an experimental edge, which demonstrates what I was talking about with the problem of season 12 not being due to the show experimenting. You can experiment while still staying true to the essence of what you are, and season 13 proves that. This season has interesting plots, crossovers, and new characters galore, but it still largely feels like
SpongeBob SquarePants, where season 12 had a little bit of an issue with that. We also largely eradicated the annoyingness issue that season 12 had, so thank goodness for that. The only way that I can see that show did not improve upon this aspect is with the title cards. It’s such a minor thing, yet such an important one as title cards have of course been with the show since its inception. While the newer seasons have been using increasingly creative title cards, I think season 13 has taken it a little too far to the point where the title cards don’t even look like they belong to this show anymore. I don’t like that. But that’s the only thing.
And none of my glowing praise up there is to say that season 13 did not have its duds, because like season 12 it was a little bit up and down. But like, say, season 11 (season 13’s most similar season, in my opinion), when the episodes were good, they were
good. Like do you see how many Amazing-tier episodes at 9.4 and above are up there? That’s a lot!
However, while I liked season 13 more than season 12, I must admit that it continued some of the more unfavorable trends from that season: not utilizing certain characters enough. Sandy, Gary, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and in the latter half of the season even Plankton got little love. This was made more palatable by the tendency of this season to reuse newer characters like the Goofy Goober manager, Rube, or Narlene. I would like to see more of the known secondary and tertiary characters, like Larry, Perch Perkins, or the Flying Dutchman, get some focus, though. And for the love of god, please less Slappy.
One thing I noticed about season 13 is that it had a lot of simple plots. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. I only point it out because in some ways season 13 almost feels like season 1 in its frequent simplicity. But obviously these two seasons are as different as can be without being part of a different show. And yet, I think that season 13 really toned down some of the frenzied energy coming off of season 12. Again, it feels a lot like season 11, but with something different. It almost feels more weighed down.
And I of course have to mention that season 13 is the first season of the show to start incorporating information from the spin-offs. And I think this is important because that means this is the first season to really be influenced by the production of the spin-offs. I think this means something. It’s like…there are new sources of what works and what doesn’t, new sources of making sure thee show stays in its own lane. Maybe that’s why this season feels more…tied down while still exploratory. It can’t get too wild or it’ll brush up against the spin-offs. And it’s almost like the show is a parent haha. I’m speaking entirely metaphorically, but the vibes are real. And perhaps that’s why I’ll be calling season 13 the
Absorbing Season. Yes, it is of course a play on our favorite sponge’s absorbent quality, but to be absorbed in something means to have your attention be taken up by something, to be thinking of something. And I think that this season has a lot of thought behind it. Not that any of the seasons are thoughtless, but with this season heralding in the spinoff era (kind of), and being the first after the creator’s death, there’s a weight to it that other seasons don’t have. The retrospective look it frequently takes on the show (”Sea-Man Sponge Haters Club”, “Friendiversary”, “Captain Pipsqueak”) is but a symptom of the larger phenomenon of the show now being the progenitor of new properties, the anchoring point of a franchise, a flagship that made it and continues to make it. Like I said in my season 11 review, season 13 shows that this show…is old! And that’s not a bad thing. But it means that we should probably get used to this weighty quality. The show isn’t getting any younger, and I think it has a lot to say about its legacy.