Once Bitten 2 - No-Name vs. No-Talent

Stinkoman 20X6

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So? You don't have to show all six of the contestants at the auditions. It's easier that way. They do that all the time on TV. Next chapter coming up pretty soon!
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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SCENE FIVE: GETTING READY FOR THE COMPETITION!


It was now Friday night. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, that means the competition is tonight. It was 7:45 PM. Again, for those of you not paying attention, that means it's starting in 15 minutes. We join Perch Perkins outside the entrance to the Bubble Dome Hall. His cameraman is filming, but Perch is playing Soakymon Jade on his Game Lad.


Cameraman: Uh, Perch? You're on.
Perch: (turns to cameraman) Hang on, hang on. Let me save. (presses a button on the Game Lad then turns it off, turning to the audience) Greetings, everyone! I'm standing just outside of the Bikini Bottom Bubble Bowl Hall, where the Rec Center's Clash of the Clarinets is starting in only fifteen minutes! I-I can hardly contain the excitement!!! Must...keep...playing...game...to...contain...excitement....

He pulled out his Game Lad and continued to play Soakymon. The cameraman swiped it from him.

Perch: (shocked) Game Lad go bye-bye!
Cameraman: Perch, we gotta move!
Perch: Okay, okay, Mr. Bossy!

They walked iniside the hall and down the long stairs and the tunneling hallways, until reaching the Dome Station, where the Bubble Dome was parked, being prepared to surface up into the Oyster Stadium at the Bikini Bottom Zoo. The contestants were inside preparing to go on. Monty and the judges were setting up outside the dome.

Perch: Well, folks, here is the Dome Station. Here we'll be seeing our contestants, judges, and random people who came here 'cause they thought this was the grocery store.
Mary (from Choc. with Nuts): Excuse me young man, can you point out the produce aisle for me?
Perch: See what I mean? Well, let's go inside the dome and interview our contestants and judges! (inside dome) Our contestants sure seem enthusiastic! Let's have a word with them!
Pearl: I'm gonna be a concert star!
Pikachu: Pika pika!
Randy: Soy justo as que excitado, Perch!
Gary: *practicing "Have a Good Night" on clarinet*
Stevie: I'm ready, I'm ready, for that shiny new clarinet!
Squidward: You're going down, Stevie! You hear me? Down! Down with a frown to the ground all the way to Chinatown!
Perch: Why, I bet you even our three judges are wild and crazy for tonight!
Scooter: (playing video game on TV) I'm playing Soakymon War Revolution on my Fintendo Sii to contain my wikedy-wickedy excitement, dawg!
Sandy: (hyper) I drank three buckets full of caffinated coffee just so I wouldn't fall asleep, man!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! (tears off suit in hyperness)
Kevin: (fluffing pillow) Can someone please wake me up when it's over?
Perch: Okay, well ⅔ ain't bad.
Monty: Five minutes to showtime, everyone!
Kevin: Darn, I forgot my security blanket to protect me from their playing.

END OF SCENE FIVE

Next Scene: Clash of the Clarinets!
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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SCENE SIX: CLASH OF THE CLARINETS!



Monty pressed the button insdie the dome to rise it up into the Oyster Stadium, where the audience was sitting at.

Monty: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, tow trucks and racecars!
Mater: She-oot!
Monty: Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Rec Center's 23rd Annual Clash of the Clarinets! First, let me introduce you to our three judges!

Monty: Scooter! He's been our first judge for four years in a row! And he likes what he sees!
Scooter: This is so exciting, dawg!

Monty: Sandy Cheeks! This is her first year judging and as she puts it, she's as happy as a tornado in a trailer park!
Mater: Woo-hoo!
Sandy: This is going to be so fabulous...dawg!



Monty: Kevin the Sea Cucumber! For seven years, Kevin has "commented" on every performer from all over!
Kevin: I can picture the stomach pain already, dawg.

Monty: Okay... Anyway, let's sizzle up tonight with our first contestant, Pearl Martin Krabs!
Kevin: Sizzle up? Who the heck is this guy?

Pearl walked up on stage and started to play. Her playing was actually terrible. Everyone started booing.

Scooter: Sancuary, dawg! Sancuary!
Sandy: Fabulous!
Scooter: I'm guessing you think everyone's fabulous, dawg.
Mr. Krabs: (walking on-stage) Eh, ye low-lifes know nothing!
Pearl: Daddy, you're embarrasing me again! (runs out of dome crying, dropping her clarinet in front of a chair)
Mr. Krabs: Oh come on, Pearl! (runs after Pearl)
Kevin: (whispering to Monty, pointing to Sandy) Next year, can you get a judge with real opinons, please?
Monty: (menacing voice) Oh, I most certainly will...Kevin. (to audience, in cheerful tone) And our next contestant is...Ash's Pikachu?!!?

Ash Ketchum's little yellow friend, wearing an air helmet, hopped on stage as everyone clapped and cheered.

Kevin: I knew there would be a Pokemon reference in here somewhere.
Pikachu: Pikachu!

END OF SCENE SIX

Next Scene: Sabotage!
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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Sorry for the wait, everyone! I wanted to get this story wrapped up in December, so I could start my next story then, but oh well!

SCENE SEVEN: SABOTAGE!

Pikachu started to play Jigglypuff's Song on his clarinet. The judges were feeling sleepy.

Scooter: Pretty music, dawg...
Sandy: Heaven...thy name is...Sandy...
Kevin: So boring...must sleep...
Mr. Krabs: (in audience) Arrgh...time to count me money...
Mrs. Puff: (sleep-talking) No, SpongeBob...don't floor it...watch the tree...I'm gonna die...

Meanwhile, Squidward was sneaking backstage with his labled clarinet. He took his old reed out of his pocket and fastened it into Stevie's reed on his also-labled clarinet sitting on a chair when he popped the current one out.

Squidward: (mumbling) If it's a battle you want, Stevie, then it's a battle you're going to get.

Then, Pikachu's playing caught his ears.

Squidward: (slowly leaning against chair) Uh...long day...maybe I'll lie down for a few minutes...

He fell asleep on the chair, popping the reeds out of the two clarinets in the process.

Pikachu had finished playing. It looked at the sleeping audience and judge table. It angrilly started to draw on everyone's faces before storming off.

Monty: (rubbing his eyes) Ladies and gentlefish, our next contestant is...Producer Randy!

Randy walked onstage with his clarinet and played "La Cucaracha" on it.

Randy: And that's how we do it in Fondo Mexicano! So, whaddya pensar?
Scooter: Righteous, dawg!
Sandy: Fabuloso!
Kevin: Dreadfu-loso!

Everyone cheered as Randy took off his fridged sombrero and held it to his heart as he bowed. He walked away.

Monty: Our next contestant is...Snellie the Snail!

END OF SCENE SEVEN

Next Scene: Stevie vs. Squidward!
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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Well, I'm in a good mood today, so you know what that means. Another scene! BLAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

SCENE EIGHT: STEVIE VS. SQUIDWARD!



As Snellie started to play, Stevie walked over to Squidward, who was still leaning against the chair, asleep.

Stevie: (bonking Squidward's head) Squidward? Yoo-hoo! It's almost your turn!
Squidward: (waking up) Five more minutes, mom.
Stevie: No, dude! You only got like, two minutes to get ready and get out there!
Squidward: (looking around, frantically) Bu-but what happened to the reeds?!!?
Stevie: Uh-oh.

Snellie finished playing and slithered away as everyone cheered.

Scooter: Rock on, slimy dudette!
Sandy: Six words: Best night of my life.
Scooter: That's like, five words dawg.
Kevin: I think I just died a little listening to that.

Stevie and Squidward started searching the floors for the reeds.

Monty: And now, our next contestant...
Stevie: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Squidward: (reaching under chair) Hey, I think I found something!
Monty: ...a man of great posture and maturity...
Stevie: (pulling out a reed) Hey look, I found the other reed underneath the carpets!
Monty: ...who's proud name stretches across the town...
Squidward: (as Stevie is sliding the reeds back in) Come on, put them back in, hurry!
Monty: ...and by our grandchildren's children, and our grandchildren's grandchildren! He...
Male voice in audience: Get on with it, you crazy devil-man!
Stevie: (handing Squidward his clarinet) I got it, I got it!
Squidward: (snatches clarinet) Quick, give it to me! (runs to stage)
Monty: Please welcome...Squidward Tentacles!
Stevie: Go get 'em, tiger!

Squidward walked onstage and started to play...terribly. His playing was so terrible that the entire dome shattered. Sandy's glass helmet shattered.

Sandy: (gasping for air) Breathe, I can't breathe! And it's not because of the helmet! (falls out of chair)
Perch: (as glass is shattering) Serpentine! Serpentine!

Everyone tore up the walls, running from the stadium as fast as they could. Squidward's playing was starting to attract dogs from California, all wearing air helmets.

Scooter: Oh no, man! Dawgs! I gotta get out of here, dawg! (runs out of stadium) Ah! Ah-ah!

The dogs started to chase Scooter out of the stadium. Squidward finished his playing, suprised to see only Kevin and Monty in the entire stadium. Stevie was still backstage, taking off his earplugs.

Kevin: I-...
Monty: Say one word and I'll go Mothra on ya.
Squidward: (walking backstage) Darn, my one chance, ruined!

Then he noticed Stevie start to run towards the stage.

Squidward: Wait, if I got the bad reed, then that means that...Stevie got the good reed!!! I have to pull it out before he gets onstage!

He attempted to pull SpongeReed out of Stevie's clarinet, but missed just as Stevie walked onstage.

Squidward: No, no, no, no, no!

Monty: And now, our final contestant of the evening, Stevie the Jellyfish!
Kevin: (clapping sarcastically) Hoo-ray.

No-Name played his music.

Stevie: Well?
Kevin: I am sorry. No one is available to compliment you at this moment. Please respond after my opinons. Dreadful. Simply dreadful.
Monty: Well, according to the rules, if all three judges are incapable of judging, then the announcer shall make the comment!
Kevin: But, I'm not incapable of-...
Monty: You are now, Simon! (kicks Kevin out) That was great. Fabulous. You win.
Stevie: Uh...hurray?

END OF SCENE EIGHT...AND THE STORY!

Next Story: A Very Spongey Christmas!
 

SquidwardLover

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Then they were bitten on the arms by Gary, Rocky, Snellie, and El Zorro.


I'm just wondering. Did the end of my fanfic "I Was a Teenage SquarePants" when Rocky is a real snail, give you the idea for that, or you just popped up with the idea? I'm not sure if you read the fanfic so I'm just curious.
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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Then they were bitten on the arms by Gary, Rocky, Snellie, and El Zorro.


I'm just wondering. Did the end of my fanfic "I Was a Teenage SquarePants" when Rocky is a real snail, give you the idea for that, or you just popped up with the idea? I'm not sure if you read the fanfic so I'm just curious.
Popped up. I only read the beginning of your story. Rocky is actually my favorite character, believe it or not.
 

SquidwardLover

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Oh. Well in the ending when SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick, and Sandy are turned back to normal, it shows that Rocky is real and Patrick rubs it in. I also put in a picture that I made in paint of Rocky the Snail out of his "rock".

I also put pictures of Patrick and Sandy as Snails in the middle of my story.
 
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