Once Bitten 2 - No-Name vs. No-Talent

The Dark Knight

Fashionabluh
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Now what? What will happen now? All the hope for Bikini Bottom is lost!



{off-topic} Hey, Douggie, I drew a piccy of Producer Ranky, do you want me to upload it?
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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No.

CLASH OF THE CLARINETS SCENE ONE: SQUIDWARD'S LUNCH BREAK

One Monday morning, we pan to the outside of the Krusty Krab.

Squidward: I'm going on my lunch break, Mr. Krabs!

We now pan to the inside to see Squidward leaving the register and taking off his hat.

Mr. Krabs: (calling from his office) Okay, but ye had better spend me credit card at Fancy! again, ye hear?!
Squidward: (leaving) Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I won't!
SpongeBob: (wiping the menu) Bye, Squidward! Have a nice lunch break!

Outside the driveway, Squidward pulled out Mr. Krabs's credit card.

Squidward: Sucker. (laughs)

On his way to Fancy!, a notice on a cable pole caught his eye.

Squidward: Hello, what's this?

He took the notice off the pole. It had a picture of a clarinet on it. Squidward read it aloud.

The Bikini Bottom Rec Center presents the "Clash of the Clarinets"!

Five contestants will comete in a clarinet-playing competition Friday night at the Bubble Dome, 8:00 sharp. The grand winner will recieve a hand-made, state-of-the-art pure silver clarinet!

Squidward: Well, all right! A clarinet-playing competition!

He read the rest of the notice.

Auditions begin tomorrow night at the Rec Center, 7:30 sharp.

Squidward: Finally, a contest I could win! I should go practice after work!

With that, he ran off to Fancy! to spend Mr. Krabs's credit card.

END OF COCC SCENE ONE

Next Scene: Packing Up and Moving Out!
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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COCC SCENE TWO: PACKING UP AND MOVING OUT!

The next morning, we see SpongeBob and Patrick packing up their clothes and belongings in the bedroom while Stevie watched.

SpongeBob: Grandpa SquarePants's snowglobe collection!
Patrkck: (packing snowglobes) Check!
SpongeBob: Gary's hankies?
Patrick: (packing a box of tissues) Check!
SpongeBob: Underwear!
Patrick: (peeking inside shorts) Uh, hang on a second. (runs offscreen then comes back) Check!
SpongeBob: (closing up suitcase) Good, we're all packed then!
Stevie: (sitting on bed) So, where are you guys going again?
Patrick: (grabbing empty suitcases) SpongeBob and I are going to Sand Dollar Bottom for the 9th annual BFF Club R&R Retreat!
SpongeBob: (sorting clothes in suitcase) Yup, and we're dropping Gary off at the 4th annual Worldwide Squad of Snails Club R&R Retreat in Oyster Bottom!
Gary: (packing teddy clam in a grocery bag) Meow.

They all walked outside carrying the suitcases.

SpongeBob: You sure you can take care of the palce while we're gone?
Stevie: Of course I'm sure! What's to not be sure about?
SpongeBob: Well, do you remember the last time you housesat for us?

-FLASHBACK-

SpongeBob and Patrick get off the bus that drops them off at their house. Stevie is waiting for them.

Stevie: Hey, guys!
SpongeBob: Stevie, what happened to the house?

We pan over to see that the house has completely disappeared from its spot.

Stevie: Well, actually, that depends on which piece you're talking about. (points) The biggest piece splattered on that coral branch right there.

-END FLASHBACK-

We pan back to see that the bus is there waiting for them.

Stevie: Don't worry, I've learned my lesson!
SpongeBob: Okay, but you'd better not fill the entire house with gas again just so you can see what happens when you drop a lit match through the bedroom window.
Gary: Meow meow.
Stevie: Don't worry! (picks up SpongeBob, Patrick, and Gary) You guys just go off and enjoy yourselves!

He threw them into the bus and it drove off.

Patrick: (yelling from inside) We'll be back on Saturday evening!
Stevie: (yelling) Got it! (to himself) I can't belive they questioned me. Besides, this time, I'm only filling half of the entire house with gas and seeing what happens when I drop a lit match through the bathroom window!

He walked down the driveway and then we pan to Squidward's house to see him setting up for practice.

Squidward: Better not waste one precious second! Those auditions are in eight hours and I want to be the best I can be!

He sneaked into SpongeBob's bathroom and took one of SpongeBob's pulled teeth and then got back just before Stevie came.

No-Name: And now, it's gas time!

He started dumping the bucket of gas onto the floor when a soggy notice for the Clash of the Clarinets fell out of it. (We're still not quite sure how it got in there.)

Stevie: What's this? (reads notice, then checks watch) A clarinet competition?! Those auditions are in eight hours! I'd better start practicing now!

He ran to the bedroom to start practicing.

END OF COCC SCENE TWO

Next Scene: Squidward's Got Competition!
 

The Dark Knight

Fashionabluh
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Hah, I love No-Name. He's so unexpectable.



-No-Name: (yelling) Got it! (to himself) I can't belive they questioned me. Besides, this time, I'm only filling half of the entire house with gas and seeing what happens when I drop a lit match through the bathroom window!


Loved that part :bleh:
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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SCENE THREE: SQUIDWARD'S GOT COMPETITION

We cut to Squidward's house to see him setting everything up for practice.

Squidward: This is great! With Duh and Duh-er at Sand Dollar Bottom until Saturday, I have all the time in the world to practice my clarinet without any interruptions!

He tapped the clarinet and then started to play the usual sour clarinet music.

Squidward: Oy! If my clarinet sounds like a dying mongrel one more time, I'm pulling out SpongeReed!

He started to play again, only this time, he was suddenly playing very well music.

Squidward: Wow, after 6 seasons, I'm finally getting good at this!

Then suddenly, the music continued, simply meaning it wasn't coming from Squidward's clarinet.

Squidward: What the carp?!!? If that music isn't coming from my clarinet, then where is it coming from?

He got up and followed the sound to SpongeBob's bedrroom, where No-Name was the one playing the music. Suddenly, he played a sour note, accompanied by a loud snap, and stopped.

Stevie: (shaking clarinet) Huh, reed must have snapped again.
Squidward: What the-?!!? Stevie?! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off being ⅓ of the Three Stooges in Sand Dollar Bottom?
Stevie: Actually, no. You see, the R&R retreat they're going is for BFF pairs only, and a pair is two, so me makes three, which isn't a pair, so we wouldn't be able to...
Squidward: Stevie, I didn't come here to learn a math lesson. What are you doing playing the clarinet anyways?!!?
Stevie: (pulls out notice) Oh, the Clash of the Clarinets is this Friday, and I'm entering to win that shiny new clarinet!

Squidward's jaw dropped down.

Squidward: You're entering against me in the Clash of the Clarinets this Friday?!!?
Stevie: (gasps) You're entering too?! Cool! Looks like we're competing against each other! Good luck to you!
Squidward: Well, if by good luck you mean it's on, then good luck!

And he jumped out the window to keep practcing. Stevie shrugged and went back to playing.

END OF SCENE THREE

Next Scene: The Auditions!
 
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aw :cry: cmon' douglas it's kind of ..... um.... cut , i mean you were just getting to the good part <_< :pattywagon: :read2: :sbx: :solute:

aw :cry: cmon' douglas it's kind of ..... um.... cut , i mean you were just getting to the good part <_< :pattywagon: :read2: :sbx: :solute:
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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What do you mean? O_o

Sorry for the holdup, everyone. Each time I do another scene, I brainstorm the whole thing in my head first, and once I'm sure I've got a good scene in my head, I go ahead and start typing it.

Unfortuenately, I'm still brainstorming the audtions scene. It's harder then it seems really. I want to make the judges emulate American Idol to make it funnier, and that can be a bit hard sometimes, especially when I don't watch American Idol myself.

Plus, I'm up to my neck with casting. I'm still trying to figure out who will be the other four contestants, who else is auditioning, and especially who the three judges will be. I've already got Scooter as that bald guy who says "Dawg" all the time. I'm still trying to work out the other two.

Expect that scene on here sometime next week or something.
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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Whatever, doesn't really matter.

EDIT: I'm almost done with casting. I've picked my three judges (Scooter, Sandy, and Kevin the Sea Cucumber) as well as the other four contestants (who will remain secret for now). I just gotta finish casting the other characters auditioning for the part and then I'll be ready to do the next scene.
 

Stinkoman 20X6

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This is the first time I'm typing a scene with the spacing problems fized, so let's hope this goes well.

SCENE FOUR: THE AUDITIONS!

Later that evening, everyone in Bikini Bottom was gathering to the Rec Center. Some to audition, some to watch the auditions, and some because their TV broke down and they have nothing to do. :tongue:

Perch Perkins: Hello, music fans and TV-watchers with nothing-to-do! I'm Perch P. Perkins, and about 144% of the entire population of Bikini Bottom has gathered for the Rec Center's 23rd annual Clash of the Clarinets! In case you weren't paying attention to when Squidward was reading that notice at the beginning, Five contestants will comete in a clarinet-playing competition Friday night at the Bubble Dome, 8:00 sharp. The grand winner will recieve a hand-made, state-of-the-art pure silver clarinet! Auditions are beginning at the Rec Center even as we speak! Let's find out more! (slips next to judge table inside) And now, folks, here to judge for our competition and end this really long piece of dialouge that all of you SBM guys at home might be having a bit trouble reading along to, here are our three judges! Scooter, Sandy Cheeks, and Kevin the Sea Cucumber! So judges, what are your feelings for this year's competition?
Scooter: Ah-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw, I like, have a feeling there's going to be some wickedy-wickedy talent here at this event, dawg!
Sandy: I just know they're all going to be fabulous!!!
Kevin: Don't you mean you just think they're all going to be fabulous? Listen, Perch, I've been judging this event for seven years now, and all of those seven years have been the most dreadful seven years of my life! Why should this year be any different?
Perch: Okay, thank you three for those wickedy-wickedy whack comments!
Scooter: Hey like, that's my thing, dawg!

Squidward and Stevie were setting up backstage. Squidward tried to stretch until he hurt his back.

Squidward: Ow, my back!

The spotlights went on as the rest of the lights went off.

Monty P. Moneybags: (on stage) Ladies and gentlefish, welcome to our auditions for the Clash of the Clarinets! Our first auditioner is...The TattleTale Strangler!

The Strangler walked onstage with his clarinet.

Audience and judges: The TattleTale Strangler?!!?
TTS: Uh, my mom made me do this. She said it would be a constructive outlet for my temper. (raises voice) YOU ALL GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!!?

Everyone started making dialouge like "No, no, no problem!" and "No way, you can trust us, right?". The strangler started to play. As you probably guessed, he was terrible.

Scooter: Like, my ears are beating me up, dawg!
Sandy: Even a person like me who compliments everyone has gotta say, you just stunk up the entire stage!
Kevin: I have the right to remain silent. You all know what I'm probably going to say anyway.

TTS immediately stormed off the stage.

Monty: And our next guy is...Plankton!

Plankton hopped up onto a stool with his tiny clarinet. It was so tiny that when he was playing, you could barely even hear him.

Scooter: Uh like, could someone get this tiny rebeller a shizzling-big microphone here, dawg?
Sandy: Sorry, I only compliment what I can hear.
Kevin: Thankfully, PokDouglas doesn't have the budget for microphones.
PokDouglas: Hey!
Once Plankton hopped off, a no-audio montage started.

MONTAGE
Squillium came up and played.
-
Snellie started to play as well. Kevin confusedly shook his head.
-
Don the Whale started playing hard. Sandy was clapping, Scooter was going away to throw up, and Kevin put earplugs on, then he plugged bricks into his ears, and then he put on a diving helmet.
-
The Poor Guy was beginning to play when he slipped on a banana peel and fell off the stage. Scooter covered his eyes, Sandy covered her mouth with her hands, and Kevin plugged his ears with his fingers.*
-
Ranky also played. Once he finished, everyone except Kevin was clapping. He bowed and took his fridged sombrero and held it to his heart.
END MONTAGE

Kenny the Shark from the Discover Kids show Kenny the Shark hopped off stage.

Monty: (dumbfounded) Uh, thank you, Kenny, for coming all the way from that Discovery Kids show just to do an impersonation of Jabberjaw!
Kevin: (whispering to Sandy and Scooter) Since when does PokDouglas have the rights to put in characters from other shows?

Scooter and Sandy both shrugged.

Monty: Our next contestant is Stevie the Jellyfish!

Stevie walked onstage carrying his clarinet. He started to play his wonderful music.

Scooter: Woah, dawg, throw the scores out the windows, dawg!
Sandy: (wiping her eyes were tissues) That was fabulous! Simply fabulous!
Kevin: Even a guy like me who complains at everything has gotta say that if this kid doesn't make the cut, then I'm gonna eat my shorts, and they're worth $250!**

Squidward walked onstage.

Monty: And now, our final contestant of the evening, Squidward J. Tentacles!

Squidward took out his stubby reed and put in SpongeReed, the nickname he had given to the tooth he had took from Spongey's bathroom earlier. He figured that if it worked for the concert last week, it would work now***. He stuck it into his reed just as he went on.

Scooter: Like, awesome, dawg!
Sandy: Fabulous!
Kevin: (imitating Sandy and Scooter) Dreadful!
Monty: And now, our three judges are plucking our six contestants out of this stage of losers at this moment!

Scooter immediately hopped up and started plucking Squidward's back hair.

Squidward: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Monty: (imitating Fat Albert) Hey hey hey, I didn't mean literally!

Scooter went back to the judges' table and gave Monty a card.

Monty: (reading card) And our six contestants are in order of playing at the competition, Pearl, Pikachu, Ranky, Snellie, Stevie, and Squidward!

Everyone started to cheer. Squidward and Stevie were watching from backstage.

Stevie: Wow Squidward, you and I are going against each other!
Squidward: Just you wait, Stevie. Just you wait.

END OF SCENE FOUR

Next Scene: Clash of the Clarinets!

* See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil.
** That's how much the Nintendo Wii is worth here in America.
*** See Best Day Ever.
 
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