Deep sea dillies said:
is number 1 squilliam returns
Guess what? You're correct!
NUMBER 1 - SQUILLIAM RETURNS
Season - 3
Episode number - 48b
Airdate - March 15, 2002
SBMania rating - 8.1/10
My personal rating - 2.4/10
So yes, Squilliam Returns is my personal least favourite pre-movie episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. As a child, I really really hated this episode. Now, my opinions mostly stand. I really cannot STAND this episode. I know this episode has Squilliam, who we like to see after his smashing start in Band Geeks, but this episode features the protagonist in misery, ending in misery. And none of it is funny in the slightest. This episode is seriously the ONLY pre-movie episode out there that did not get one chuckle out of me. Everything in this episode is played out to the extreme. And SpongeBob's face as he tries to "become a fancy waiter in less than 20 minutes" gave me NIGHTMARES. What is there for me to like about this episode? I know by the SBMania rating that I am once again alone here, but I am starting to question the accuracy of the SBMania ratings. Do people just rate it 10 because it's pre-movie, then go on to rate all post-movie episodes 0 due to the stigma against post-movie?
If I had been around when this episode first aired, I can just tell I would have been bitterly disappointed after Band Geeks. It's obvious that this mess of an episode was a ratings trap, but enough about that. Let's talk about the advertiser. I will give a shiny quarter to anyone that can tell me what the heck they were thinking with that. A food monster that comes to life is just so out of place in this episode. It would be okay if this episode was funny but it just is not funny in the slightest. As a kid, this was the only pre-movie episode I actually hated. I did not watch this episode for more than seven years because I hated it so much. I decided to watch it again, and found the episode got no better as I got older. This episode is MORBID, not funny in the slightest, the plot is ALL over the place, and I wish this episode didn't exist.
Although I really do hate this episode, there ARE post-movie episodes I hate more (such as To Love a Patty). Is this episode bottom 10 material? Yes. Yes it is, in my opinion. But only by a hair or so. This would probably be 10th or 9th. The thing that makes this episode so unbearable though is that there are no saving graces. So this episode didn't get one chuckle out of me. Episodes earlier on in this list were still capable of making me laugh out loud. The higher ones on this list maybe got a few laughs, or chuckles. This episode didn't even get a chuckle. Even Survival of the Idiots did get a few chuckles. This, nope. This episode made me smile on two occasions (inside SpongeBob's brain, and trying to imagine Squilliam in his underwear).
And last but not least, this episode is mean-spirited as ::dolphin noise::. Nearly everything that happens in this episode is bad or negative, and even when things are "good" it's all fake, cracks are emerging, just like what happens in the real world. On top of everything else, this is a clear-cut Squidward Torture episode. Does Squidward win? Nope. What's Squid's primary emotion? Sadness and dejection. Does Squidward get revenge? Absolutely none. This is a Squidward Torture episode done very wrong. Which do I prefer, this or good neighbors? Well, they're about the same to be honest. They're both a 2.4/10.
This episode is one big bloated mess. And I know I am the only one on SBMania who feels this way and I understand that this is considered a good episode by most, but this episode just completely fell flat at my feet.
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This list was originally going to be a seasons 1-4 list, but I decided to focus in on 1-3, as I had quite a few season 4 entries and 20 wouldn't cut it. But I wanted to start off with a small list of 20 before going on to longer lists, to improve my reviewing skills. I will probably be doing more lists in the future, including a top 20 pre-movie. Why did I start with a negative list? Because I felt those are the ones I could do the best. Did I intend to make this list controversial? Nope. These are my opinions and I don't seem to run with the standard opinion?
And you're probably wondering, where was I'm With Stupid on this list? Well, that episode is actually a guilty pleasure of mine. I consider it to be a pretty great episode. I didn't even know there was a stigma against the episode until recently to be honest.
I hope you enjoyed my list. I only got two death threats in the making :)
(no seriously, I did)
Thanks for reading,
-SBMania user 5998