The fourth set of my SpongeBob Shorts! In these shorts, Squidward writes a (really bad) poem, Plankton tries to steal the formula yet again, and Patrick visits the Krusty Krab. I hope you enjoy! 
10. The Devil Wears Square Pants
with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward
based on the poem I have written
At the Bikini Bottom Poetry Contest…
Announcer: Alright, everyone! After 19 competitors, here is our last, and least, contestant, Squidward Tentacles!
[Squidward walks up onto the stage]
Squidward (to YOU): Heh heh. Just watch as I dazzle the crowd with my best poem yet!
Announcer: Squidward's facing some tough competition here. He will need an average score of 9.5/10 by BOTH judges to beat our current leader, Sandy Cheeks!
Squidward (to YOU): Heh heh. I can easily beat that hillbilly squirrel in this contest anytime.
Announcer: And let's begin!
Squidward: Good morning, you uncultured audience full of morons, buffoons, and doofuses. I will attempt to nurture your uneducated minds with my latest poem, "The Devil Wears Square Pants".
[nobody cheers]
Squidward: Well, it seems like all of you are too kelp-brained to know how to clap. I'll love to show you, but we have no time. Anyway, here is my poem.
Squidward:
For 22 freaking years of my life,
I have experienced nothing but strife,
with my two neighbors as dumb as a brick,
and with the names, SpongeBob and Patrick.
But it is especially the annoying sponge,
He always causes my happiness to plunge,
If it's at home, in town, or at the Krusty Krab,
He always finds a way to make my day drab.
We should start with his annoying laugh,
Which sounds like part goat and part bass,
And we should mention his IQ too,
Which is the equivalent of a kangaroo.
He has ruined my day countless times,
Committing all sorts of horrendous crimes,
Such as doing these low-brow acts,
Like blowing bubbles, dancing, and singing crap.
And don't get me started on that sea star,
Who I wish to kick their butt very, very far,
And I just have to sadly admit,
That SpongeBob will continue to make my life [dolphin noise].
[Squidward begins to cry, but abruptly stops]
Squidward: So, what do you think, judges? Your brains combusted from my sheer greatness? Don't worry, I can put your little brains back together because you won't know how to do it yourselves!
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
[Squidward is now in a police car]
Squidward: What a revolting development THIS is! Going to jail because of a poem. Why, officer, must this happen to me? Why do I have to be tortured even in a bad short story written by some random guy in the world?
Officer: Your poem was so bad it made the entire audience unconscious. Oh, and you sent all 3 judges to the hospital. They all gave you 0.
Squidward (to the officer): Unconscious, eh? Well, how about I make YOU unconscious?
Officer: No! Y-y-you can't do that!
Squidward: Oh really? For 22 freaking years of my life, I have experienced nothing but strife…
[The officer waves a white flag]
Officer: You know, one day, I wish octopi cannot read poems in public. Coma-inducing poems, that is.
[Squidward continues reading as the officer begins to get nauseous]
THE END
--
11. Unsafe and Unsound
with Plankton
[It is midnight at the Krusty Krab]
French Narrator: Ah, midnight in the Krusty Krab. No sounds of patties on the grill, nor the sound of the cash register ringing, nor the noise of the ugly squid's complaints about his talent wasted. But wait! What's that sound in the office?
[Plankton is seen in the office, with its lights on, preparing to open the safe on Krabs' desk]
French Narrator: Le oh no! It's Plankton! What could he be up to?
Plankton: Stealing the formula, of course! And I'm not gonna fail this time!
French Narrator: Not gonna fail? Hahahaha. Being the narrator, I have seen you fail countless times!
Plankton: Aw, shaddup!
[Plankton points a laser at the camera and zaps the French Narrator]
French Narrator: Le ouch!
[The French Narrator falls over with a *bonk* sound]
Plankton: Alright! Let's start with the original way of opening the safe.
[Plankton jumps up onto the safe]
Plankton (twisting the lock): Alright. 5, 24, 36, 18, 29. Open sesame!
[The safe remains locked]
Plankton: Oh right. I lack depth perception. Ugh, I hate my body more than that crab. Anyway, let's get to the fun part!
PLAN A
[Plankton holds up another blueprint: "Plan A: Liquid Gun"]
Plankton: Ha! This liquid gun will turn the safe into metal!
[Plankton aims at the safe, but misses and the beam hits a hand mirror, causing the beam to bounce and hit Plankton]
[ZAP]
[Plankton turns into liquid]
Plankton (liquid): I hate my depth perception.
[Liquid Plankton flows off the desk and into a small drain]
PLAN B
[Plankton holds up yet another blueprint: "Plan B: Missile Plane"]
Plankton: Every good supervillain needs to have a Plan B! And this one won't fail!
[Plankton steps into a small plane, which takes off on Krabs' desk]
Plankton (in the plane): Hehehehe. Deploy missiles!
[Two missiles pop out of the plane, heading towards the safe, but they simply bounce around on top of the safe]
Plankton: What? No explosion? This is ridiculous!
[Plankton parachutes out of the plane and onto the top of the safe, where he examines the two stationary missiles]
Plankton: Now what is wrong with these things?
[Plankton pokes at one of the missles]
[BAM]
[The missile blows up in Plankton's face]
Plankton: Ow.
[The other missile falls back down onto the top of the safe, and it rolls to Plankton's foot]
[BAM]
Plankton: Double… ow…
[Plankton collapses]
PLAN C
[Plankton holds up his last blueprint: "Plan C: DYNAMITE DESTRUCTION"]
Plankton: If all else fails, blow it up!
[Plankton places dynamite sticks all around the safe, and lights it]
Plankton: This safe will never stand a chance.
[Plankton runs away from the dynamite, but trips himself]
Plankton: Ow! My tiny ankles!
[Plankton turns around and sees that the dynamite is about to explode]
Plankton: Uh oh.
[KA-BOOM]
[The entire room explodes, and Plankton sees the safe is blown apart]
Plankton (with several injuries): Finally! The safe has split! But where did the formula go?
[Plankton looks up, and sees the formula is about to fall down on him]
Plankton: Oh sh-
[The formula lands in Plankton's mouth, and he swallows it, and he ends up in the shape of the formula]
Plankton (waddling away): Wait… the formula is inside me again? Oh great, time for Karen to call me "poopsy" again and feed me prunes while I embarrass myself trying to poop it out…
[Plankton waddles away back towards the Chum Bucket]
French Narrator: And there you go. Plankton failed as usual, and now he will be heading home to sleep. But as far as I know, Plankton will be having nightmares for a while. But anyway, bonne nuit.
THE END
--
12. No Free Patties
with Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, SpongeBob
[It is another day at the Krusty Krab, but there are no customers]
[Squidward is sleeping in the register boat]
Mr. Krabs: MR. SQUIDWARD!
[Squidward jumps up but slips and hits his head on the cash register]
Squidward: Ow.
Mr. Krabs: Sleeping on the job, eh? Just because there is no customers doesn't mean you get the day off!
Squidward: But I'm not--
Mr. Krabs: No buts! I want you to swab the entire restaurant! And if I catch you falling asleep, into the brig you go.
Squidward: Ha! This place doesn't even have a brig. And look! There's a customer now!
[Mr. Krabs sees Patrick walking towards the restaurant]
Mr. Krabs: Oh brother. Here he comes again.
[Patrick walks into the Krusty Krab and up to the register]
Squidward (sighing): May I take your order?
Patrick: Oh, yeah! I want 100 Krabby Patties.
Squidward: 100? Are you sure you can eat that much?
Patrick: Of course I could! I once ate 1,000 patties at once for a contest! And then I won some sort of belt! And then my opponent, which lost, called me bad word 11!
Squidward: I didn't have to know that. SpongeBob, we have an order for 100 patties.
SpongeBob: I'm on it!
A FEW MINUTES LATER…
SpongeBob: Alright! 100 patties!
[SpongeBob walks out of the kitchen holding a giant tower of patties, and places them on Patrick's table]
SpongeBob: Enjoy your meal.
Patrick: Yay! It's eaty time! Eat-eat-eat-eat-eat-eat-eat!
Squidward: Oh brother.
[Patrick begins to eat the patties, including sucking them in like a vacuum, placing 10 patties into his mouth and then flushing it down, and having a large fan blow patties into his mouth until he's all finished]
Patrick (very very fat): Wow! Those *burp* patties tasted great! Well, *burp* see you later!
[Fat Patrick stomps his way to the exit, but Mr. Krabs stops him]
Mr. Krabs: Oh no, you don't! You cannot leave until you PAY!
Patrick: I *burp* have to pay for those delicious patties? Wow, what an *burp* unfair world this is!
Mr. Krabs: That's right. Here is the bill.
[Mr. Krabs shows Patrick the bill, and he finds out he has to pay 299 dollars]
Patrick: 299 *burp* dollars?
Mr. Krabs: 299 dollars. Now pay up!
Patrick: But I don't *burp* have that much *burp* money!
Mr. Krabs: Then I'll have to call the police.
Patrick: The police? Oh *burp* no!
[Mr. Krabs begins to dial 911 on the phone, but stops when he hears a loud rumbling]
Mr. Krabs: What's that loud rumbling noise behind me?
[Mr. Krabs turns around and sees Patrick is shaking]
Patrick: I'm sorry, Krabs, but *burp* I think I ate too much! I might explode!
Mr. Krabs: EXPLODE? Everyone, hit the deck!
Patrick: BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!!
[Mr. Krabs looks up, and sees all the patties have been burped out of Patrick's mouth and are on the table]
Patrick: Hey! All 100 patties that I ate I just burped out! That means I don't have to pay anything!
[Mr. Krabs touches one of Patrick's burped-out patties, which is covered in spit]
Mr. Krabs: Ew!
Patrick: Well, nice doing business with ya!
[Patrick leaves, and Mr. Krabs stares at the exit]
[SpongeBob walks up to Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Is something wrong?
Mr. Krabs: No, nothing's wrong, boyo. Just remind me to set up an alarm whenever Patrick steps on me property.
SpongeBob: Um, ok, fine…
THE END
The next set probably won't come until August, as I will have camp the next few weeks. The next set will also be summer-themed and will feature Larry and Sandy (finally). Thanks for reading!
10. The Devil Wears Square Pants
with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward
based on the poem I have written
At the Bikini Bottom Poetry Contest…
Announcer: Alright, everyone! After 19 competitors, here is our last, and least, contestant, Squidward Tentacles!
[Squidward walks up onto the stage]
Squidward (to YOU): Heh heh. Just watch as I dazzle the crowd with my best poem yet!
Announcer: Squidward's facing some tough competition here. He will need an average score of 9.5/10 by BOTH judges to beat our current leader, Sandy Cheeks!
Squidward (to YOU): Heh heh. I can easily beat that hillbilly squirrel in this contest anytime.
Announcer: And let's begin!
Squidward: Good morning, you uncultured audience full of morons, buffoons, and doofuses. I will attempt to nurture your uneducated minds with my latest poem, "The Devil Wears Square Pants".
[nobody cheers]
Squidward: Well, it seems like all of you are too kelp-brained to know how to clap. I'll love to show you, but we have no time. Anyway, here is my poem.
Squidward:
For 22 freaking years of my life,
I have experienced nothing but strife,
with my two neighbors as dumb as a brick,
and with the names, SpongeBob and Patrick.
But it is especially the annoying sponge,
He always causes my happiness to plunge,
If it's at home, in town, or at the Krusty Krab,
He always finds a way to make my day drab.
We should start with his annoying laugh,
Which sounds like part goat and part bass,
And we should mention his IQ too,
Which is the equivalent of a kangaroo.
He has ruined my day countless times,
Committing all sorts of horrendous crimes,
Such as doing these low-brow acts,
Like blowing bubbles, dancing, and singing crap.
And don't get me started on that sea star,
Who I wish to kick their butt very, very far,
And I just have to sadly admit,
That SpongeBob will continue to make my life [dolphin noise].
[Squidward begins to cry, but abruptly stops]
Squidward: So, what do you think, judges? Your brains combusted from my sheer greatness? Don't worry, I can put your little brains back together because you won't know how to do it yourselves!
A FEW MINUTES LATER...
[Squidward is now in a police car]
Squidward: What a revolting development THIS is! Going to jail because of a poem. Why, officer, must this happen to me? Why do I have to be tortured even in a bad short story written by some random guy in the world?
Officer: Your poem was so bad it made the entire audience unconscious. Oh, and you sent all 3 judges to the hospital. They all gave you 0.
Squidward (to the officer): Unconscious, eh? Well, how about I make YOU unconscious?
Officer: No! Y-y-you can't do that!
Squidward: Oh really? For 22 freaking years of my life, I have experienced nothing but strife…
[The officer waves a white flag]
Officer: You know, one day, I wish octopi cannot read poems in public. Coma-inducing poems, that is.
[Squidward continues reading as the officer begins to get nauseous]
THE END
--
11. Unsafe and Unsound
with Plankton
[It is midnight at the Krusty Krab]
French Narrator: Ah, midnight in the Krusty Krab. No sounds of patties on the grill, nor the sound of the cash register ringing, nor the noise of the ugly squid's complaints about his talent wasted. But wait! What's that sound in the office?
[Plankton is seen in the office, with its lights on, preparing to open the safe on Krabs' desk]
French Narrator: Le oh no! It's Plankton! What could he be up to?
Plankton: Stealing the formula, of course! And I'm not gonna fail this time!
French Narrator: Not gonna fail? Hahahaha. Being the narrator, I have seen you fail countless times!
Plankton: Aw, shaddup!
[Plankton points a laser at the camera and zaps the French Narrator]
French Narrator: Le ouch!
[The French Narrator falls over with a *bonk* sound]
Plankton: Alright! Let's start with the original way of opening the safe.
[Plankton jumps up onto the safe]
Plankton (twisting the lock): Alright. 5, 24, 36, 18, 29. Open sesame!
[The safe remains locked]
Plankton: Oh right. I lack depth perception. Ugh, I hate my body more than that crab. Anyway, let's get to the fun part!
PLAN A
[Plankton holds up another blueprint: "Plan A: Liquid Gun"]
Plankton: Ha! This liquid gun will turn the safe into metal!
[Plankton aims at the safe, but misses and the beam hits a hand mirror, causing the beam to bounce and hit Plankton]
[ZAP]
[Plankton turns into liquid]
Plankton (liquid): I hate my depth perception.
[Liquid Plankton flows off the desk and into a small drain]
PLAN B
[Plankton holds up yet another blueprint: "Plan B: Missile Plane"]
Plankton: Every good supervillain needs to have a Plan B! And this one won't fail!
[Plankton steps into a small plane, which takes off on Krabs' desk]
Plankton (in the plane): Hehehehe. Deploy missiles!
[Two missiles pop out of the plane, heading towards the safe, but they simply bounce around on top of the safe]
Plankton: What? No explosion? This is ridiculous!
[Plankton parachutes out of the plane and onto the top of the safe, where he examines the two stationary missiles]
Plankton: Now what is wrong with these things?
[Plankton pokes at one of the missles]
[BAM]
[The missile blows up in Plankton's face]
Plankton: Ow.
[The other missile falls back down onto the top of the safe, and it rolls to Plankton's foot]
[BAM]
Plankton: Double… ow…
[Plankton collapses]
PLAN C
[Plankton holds up his last blueprint: "Plan C: DYNAMITE DESTRUCTION"]
Plankton: If all else fails, blow it up!
[Plankton places dynamite sticks all around the safe, and lights it]
Plankton: This safe will never stand a chance.
[Plankton runs away from the dynamite, but trips himself]
Plankton: Ow! My tiny ankles!
[Plankton turns around and sees that the dynamite is about to explode]
Plankton: Uh oh.
[KA-BOOM]
[The entire room explodes, and Plankton sees the safe is blown apart]
Plankton (with several injuries): Finally! The safe has split! But where did the formula go?
[Plankton looks up, and sees the formula is about to fall down on him]
Plankton: Oh sh-
[The formula lands in Plankton's mouth, and he swallows it, and he ends up in the shape of the formula]
Plankton (waddling away): Wait… the formula is inside me again? Oh great, time for Karen to call me "poopsy" again and feed me prunes while I embarrass myself trying to poop it out…
[Plankton waddles away back towards the Chum Bucket]
French Narrator: And there you go. Plankton failed as usual, and now he will be heading home to sleep. But as far as I know, Plankton will be having nightmares for a while. But anyway, bonne nuit.
THE END
--
12. No Free Patties
with Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, SpongeBob
[It is another day at the Krusty Krab, but there are no customers]
[Squidward is sleeping in the register boat]
Mr. Krabs: MR. SQUIDWARD!
[Squidward jumps up but slips and hits his head on the cash register]
Squidward: Ow.
Mr. Krabs: Sleeping on the job, eh? Just because there is no customers doesn't mean you get the day off!
Squidward: But I'm not--
Mr. Krabs: No buts! I want you to swab the entire restaurant! And if I catch you falling asleep, into the brig you go.
Squidward: Ha! This place doesn't even have a brig. And look! There's a customer now!
[Mr. Krabs sees Patrick walking towards the restaurant]
Mr. Krabs: Oh brother. Here he comes again.
[Patrick walks into the Krusty Krab and up to the register]
Squidward (sighing): May I take your order?
Patrick: Oh, yeah! I want 100 Krabby Patties.
Squidward: 100? Are you sure you can eat that much?
Patrick: Of course I could! I once ate 1,000 patties at once for a contest! And then I won some sort of belt! And then my opponent, which lost, called me bad word 11!
Squidward: I didn't have to know that. SpongeBob, we have an order for 100 patties.
SpongeBob: I'm on it!
A FEW MINUTES LATER…
SpongeBob: Alright! 100 patties!
[SpongeBob walks out of the kitchen holding a giant tower of patties, and places them on Patrick's table]
SpongeBob: Enjoy your meal.
Patrick: Yay! It's eaty time! Eat-eat-eat-eat-eat-eat-eat!
Squidward: Oh brother.
[Patrick begins to eat the patties, including sucking them in like a vacuum, placing 10 patties into his mouth and then flushing it down, and having a large fan blow patties into his mouth until he's all finished]
Patrick (very very fat): Wow! Those *burp* patties tasted great! Well, *burp* see you later!
[Fat Patrick stomps his way to the exit, but Mr. Krabs stops him]
Mr. Krabs: Oh no, you don't! You cannot leave until you PAY!
Patrick: I *burp* have to pay for those delicious patties? Wow, what an *burp* unfair world this is!
Mr. Krabs: That's right. Here is the bill.
[Mr. Krabs shows Patrick the bill, and he finds out he has to pay 299 dollars]
Patrick: 299 *burp* dollars?
Mr. Krabs: 299 dollars. Now pay up!
Patrick: But I don't *burp* have that much *burp* money!
Mr. Krabs: Then I'll have to call the police.
Patrick: The police? Oh *burp* no!
[Mr. Krabs begins to dial 911 on the phone, but stops when he hears a loud rumbling]
Mr. Krabs: What's that loud rumbling noise behind me?
[Mr. Krabs turns around and sees Patrick is shaking]
Patrick: I'm sorry, Krabs, but *burp* I think I ate too much! I might explode!
Mr. Krabs: EXPLODE? Everyone, hit the deck!
Patrick: BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!!
[Mr. Krabs looks up, and sees all the patties have been burped out of Patrick's mouth and are on the table]
Patrick: Hey! All 100 patties that I ate I just burped out! That means I don't have to pay anything!
[Mr. Krabs touches one of Patrick's burped-out patties, which is covered in spit]
Mr. Krabs: Ew!
Patrick: Well, nice doing business with ya!
[Patrick leaves, and Mr. Krabs stares at the exit]
[SpongeBob walks up to Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Is something wrong?
Mr. Krabs: No, nothing's wrong, boyo. Just remind me to set up an alarm whenever Patrick steps on me property.
SpongeBob: Um, ok, fine…
THE END
The next set probably won't come until August, as I will have camp the next few weeks. The next set will also be summer-themed and will feature Larry and Sandy (finally). Thanks for reading!