Matt's Fanmade SB Shorts: Part 10

MattTheSpongeFanatic

Goodbye Krabby Patty's #1 Fan
Staff
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Nov 4, 2020
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WE'RE BACK! Today, my fanmade SpongeBob Shorts series continues with three all-new shorts in Part 10! These might just be my favorite ones yet, and though it was a lot of fun writing these shorts, I hope you have fun reading them as well! Also, if you want to check out ALL 30 of my shorts, click this link HERE to view the ultimate collection!

In these shorts, you'll find Mr. Krabs getting caught in a crab trap, Squidward showing off some magic, and... spongeception? Either way, as usual, I hope you enjoy! :D

28. Krabby Trappers
with Mr. Krabs
special guests: Seamus Crabber and Reginald Crabber

LATE ONE EVENING…


[It's the end of another day at the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabs is in his office counting money]

Mr. Krabs (sniffing the money): Ah, me money. A sweeter smell than any other flotsam or jetsam in the sea!

[Mr. Krabs gets up from his chair, takes a 100 dollar bill, and starts wiping it against his butt in joy]

[Mr. Krabs sees the cameraman in his office that's filming him, and looks directly at the camera]

Mr. Krabs (to the viewer): Hey! Get out of me private quarters! This is none of ya business!

[The camera turns away]

[Suddenly, SpongeBob frantically bursts into the office, holding a copy of the Bikini Bottom Inquirer in his hand]

SpongeBob (panicking): MR. KRABSSSSSS!!

Mr. Krabs (worried): What's wrong, me boyo? Is Plankton up to something again?

SpongeBob: No… take a look at this!

[SpongeBob holds a copy of the Inquirer up to Mr. Krabs's face]

Mr. Krabs (reading): "Crab traps spotted near Downtown Bikini Bottom: All crustaceans urged to remain inside for next 24 hours…"

SpongeBob: See? You gotta be careful, Mr. Krabs! If you see any sausages inside cages lying around, don't go into them!

Mr. Krabs: Phooey! What kind of barnacle-brained crab would fall for one of those? It's gonna take more than Surface Land sausages to get this crab trapped!

THE NEXT DAY…

[Mr. Krabs is walking down the street]

Mr. Krabs: I gotta buy a new pair of me pants! All that butt-wiping has really worn down me jeans!

[Close-up of Mr. Krabs's worn-down jeans, with his shiny big red behind exposed]

Mr. Krabs (looking around): I've been walking down this street for a while, and I still haven't seen any "crab traps" SpongeBob was hollerin' about! He really gotta stop readin' those junk articles…

[Mr. Krabs's nose suddenly starts to twitch]

Mr. Krabs: Oh! Me nose! It's sensing that there's some MONEY around!

[Mr. Krabs follows his nose until he sees a dollar lying on the ground]

Mr. Krabs: A dollar! I wonder who could've left that there…

[Mr. Krabs goes to pick it up, but suddenly…]

ZIIIIIIIIIIP!

[Mr. Krabs suddenly finds himself in a crab trap when he picks up the dollar, and the crab trap is raised off the ground]

Mr. Krabs (inside the crab trap): Barnacles! HELP!! HELP!!

[The crab trap is lifted to the surface as Mr. Krabs cries for help]

ABOVE THE WATER…

[Two crab fishermen, Seamus and Reginald, are seen on a crabbing boat]

Seamus (raising the crab trap with Mr. Krabs in it): I got one! Reggie, come 'n' take a look!

[Reginald walks over to Seamus and sees the crab trap with Mr. Krabs in it, holding the dollar]

Reginald: Oh, so there's the dollar that fell out of my pocket! And that stupid crab took it as bait!

Mr. Krabs (inside the crab trap): Stupid? Who ya callin' stupid?

Seamus: My goodness, look at the crab's claws! They're so big and meaty… How about you fire up the ol' stove? We just caught ourselves some lunch!

Reginald (walking away): Sure thing, Seamus! I'll get you the knife. This crab's gonna be served with extra butter!

[Reginald gives Seamus the knife]

Seamus (releasing Mr. Krabs from the crab trap): Alright, silly crab, you stay there. I'll make this quick and painless.

[Mr. Krabs sees the knife shining in Seamus's hand, and decides to fight back]

Mr. Krabs: Oh I don't think so, scallywag! Take this!

[Mr. Krabs jumps out of the trap and pinches Seamus's nose]

Seamus: YEOOOOWWWCCHHH!!

[Seamus falls back, and his knife falls into the water]

Reginald (running back out with buttery hands): What's the matter, Seamus?

Seamus: That blasted crab pinched me nose! Get em, Reggie!

[Reginald grabs a metal pan and tries to beat Mr. Krabs, but the pan flies out of Reginald's buttery hands]

Reginald: Blast! Me buttery hands! Me precious pan!

Mr. Krabs: Ha! Now, I'll show ye not to mess with ol' Eugene Crabs!

[Mr. Krabs jumps up to Reginald and pinches his nose as well]

Reginald: YEOOOOWWWCCHHH!!

[Reginald falls back, and his wallet falls out of his pocket]

Mr. Krabs (seeing Reginald's wallet full of cash): Oh! Money! I'll take that.

[Mr. Krabs scuttles up to Reginald's wallet, grabs it, then leaps up to the side of the ship]

Mr. Krabs: So long, ya lubbers! Ya try to catch me again, and I'll tear ya to pieces with these BIG MEATY CLAWS! (laughs)

[Mr. Krabs dives back into the water, taking Reginald's wallet full of cash with him]

Seamus (getting back up): Reginald, look! That crab took ya wallet! Should we go after 'em?

Reginald (getting back up): Naw, just get me some bandages for me nose. Ouch.

THE END

--

29. The Amazing Squidini
with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward


[It is another normal day in Bikini Bottom, and we see Conch Street]

[The camera zooms in on Squidward's front door, and we see it slowly creak open]

[Squidward sticks his head out of the door, and looks left and right]

Squidward: Good. The coast is clear. No morons detected in the area.

[Squidward swings the door open, revealing that he is dressed up in a fancy purple and black suit with a bow tie and a top hat]

Squidward (excitedly standing outside the door): Prepare to brace yourselves, Bikini Bottomites, because today, Squidward's taking the stage at the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic Orchestra!

[Squidward pulls out a mirror, looks at himself, and adjusts his top hat]

Squidward: Mmm… How dazzling. How dashing. How debonair. How suave. How sophisticated. Squiddy, you're a fine lookin' guy.

[Squidward puts his mirror away and pulls out his clarinet box and opens it, revealing his clarinet]

Squidward: Get ready, Clarry, because today, I'm going to BLOW you like never before!

[Squidward closes his clarinet box and starts walking down the street, when suddenly…

[...SpongeBob and Patrick jump out right in front of Squidward, scaring him]

SpongeBob (screaming): HI SQUIDWARD!

Patrick (screaming): HI SQUIDWARD!

Squidward (in shock): GAAAAAAAAHHH!!

[Squidward jumps up and falls back down with a crash, and SpongeBob and Patrick notice Squidward's top hat]

Squidward (standing back up): You morons! This is not the time to play! I have a concert to go to and an audience to dazzle!

SpongeBob (pointing to Squidward's top hat): Wow, Squidward! I never knew you were a magician!

Patrick: Yeah! Why didn't you tell us before? I love magic tricks!

Squidward: That's not a magic hat, you ignorami! It's my dazzling, dashing, debonair, suave and sophisticated CONCERT HAT!!

SpongeBob (going up to Squidward's face): Yeah right, Squidward… don't try to hide it! You're a magician! Hey! Can you pull a sea bunny out of your hat?

Patrick (going up to Squidward's face): Or juggle five bowling pins at once?

SpongeBob: Or breathe fire? Or float in midair?

Patrick: Or catch a bullet with your teeth? Or balance five plates on sticks?

SpongeBob: Or cut a fish in half? Or make flowers appear out of your wand?

Patrick: Or make a penny vanish into thin air? Or turn yourself into a Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob: Wait… Squidward… I know what you're going to do! You're going to wrap yourself in a straitjacket, chain your arms and legs together, dunk yourself in water, and escape in three minutes! Like the great Harry Haddockdini!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are shouting right in Squidward's face, and Squidward starts to get so annoyed that his face turns red]

Squidward (furious): NO!! I AM NOT A MAGICIAN!! I HAVE A CLARINET TO BLOW, AND YOU TWO MORONS ARE WASTING MY TIME!

[Steam comes out of Squidward's ears as he is so angry]

SpongeBob: Oh my Neptune! Squidward! You just made steam magically come out of your ears!

Patrick: Yeah Squidward! That was great! Show us more!

[Squidward facepalms and shakes his head]

Squidward: Okay, fine… Do you want to see more?

[SpongeBob and Patrick dumbly nod with goofy expressions on their faces]

Squidward: Alrighty, then… (thinking up a plan) …Here, I call this trick… "The Incredible Disappearing Squid." But for this trick to work, SpongeBob, Patrick, you will have to follow just one simple rule!

[SpongeBob and Patrick dumbly nod again]

Squidward: Good. Now, all you have to do is turn around, close your eyes, and count to ten. Then, when those ten seconds are up, turn back around, and I will magically disappear! Got it?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Got it, Squidward!

Patrick: Ooh, this trick is going to be so fun!

Squidward (muttering): Heh heh, it's gonna be fun all right. Okay, morons, let's do it!

[SpongeBob and Patrick turn around, close their eyes, and start counting to ten]

ZOOM

[Squidward hightails it and runs far, far away from SpongeBob and Patrick, holding tight onto his top hat and his clarinet case]

TEN SECONDS LATER…

[Squidward runs off into the distance just as SpongeBob and Patrick count to ten]

[SpongeBob and Patrick open their eyes, and turn around, and sees that Squidward is gone]

SpongeBob: Wow, Patrick! Would you look at that! Squidward really did disappear!

Patrick: Yeah! That was the greatest magic trick in the history of magic tricks!

SpongeBob: Now all this magic has sure given me an appetite. I'll go back home and make some popcorn for me and Gary! Oh, imagine what it would be like for me to be a great magician… I'm sure going to get into the hocus pocus business sometime soon!

[SpongeBob and Patrick head back into their houses as SpongeBob starts preparing popcorn on the stove]

[Wait, does this sound familiar?]

THE END

--

30. SpongeBob vs. Television
with SpongeBob and... TV SpongeBob?


[SpongeBob is seen in his house eating popcorn and scrolling through television channels, while Gary is by his side]

SpongeBob: Gary, they just don't make TV shows like they used to. Ever since they cancelled Hot and Wild Dancing Anemones last year, it just doesn't feel the same.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: What do you mean I shouldn't watch that stuff? Come on! That was peak television right there! Now look at all the silly stuff they're putting on TV today!

[SpongeBob scrolls to a random channel]

TV Announcer: We now return to SCUBA: Super Cool Ultimate Blobfish Army!, our top-rated TV show for the past eleven weeks and counting.

[Five ugly blobfish appear on the TV screen in the Blobcave, with all of them having different color suits]

Super Red Blobfish (to Super Green Blobfish): Super Green! I just received word that Super Yellow has been fishnapped by the Mighty Evil Seagull From Above! We must find him before it's too late!

[cheesy dramatic sound effect]

Super Green Blobfish: Not Super Yellow! And not Mighty Evil Seagull again! Ohhhhhh noooooo!! We must rescue him! Fast!

[another cheesy dramatic sound effect]

Super Blue Blobfish: To the Blobcopter!

[The five Super Blobfish run to the Blobcopter, which is a helicopter that looks like a blobfish]

Super Orange Blobfish (going into the pilot's seat): This is bad! This is very very bad! Super Green, do you know how bad this is?

Super Green Blobfish: It's bad for sure! If Mighty Evil Seagull eats Super Yellow, then bad things will happen! And I hate bad things! Bad things are bad!

[SpongeBob shuts off the channel]


SpongeBob: Man, just saying, if Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ever laid their eyes on this garbage, then I'm sure their eyes would melt right off. Let's go see if there's anything better.

[SpongeBob scrolls through more channels, and then stops on a random channel]

Another TV Announcer: And now, we return to our regularly scheduled programming for today, with more of our hit show, SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob: "SpongeBob SquarePants"? Hmph! What a silly name. Who in their right mind would name someone SpongeBob SquarePants? If I was named something as silly as "SpongeBob," I would feel offended!

[The SpongeBob intro comes onto the screen]

Painty the Pirate (singing): SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob… SquarePantsssssssss!! Argharghargharghargh. (whistle sound and seagull noises)

SpongeBob: Wow. This show is already annoying, and I haven't even seen five seconds of it!

[The TV screen simply cuts to a scene of SpongeBob sitting in his living room watching TV and eating popcorn]

[That continues for five more seconds]


SpongeBob: Hey! What's this show even about?

SpongeBob (on TV): Hey! What's this show even about?

SpongeBob: Huh? Who said that?

SpongeBob (on TV): Huh? Who said that?

SpongeBob: Hey you! TV guy! Stop copying me! It's not funny!

SpongeBob (on TV): Hey you! TV guy! Stop copying me! It's not funny!

[SpongeBob stands up and throws down his popcorn bucket in anger]

[SpongeBob on TV also stands up and throws down his popcorn bucket in anger]

SpongeBob: Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh?

SpongeBob (on TV): Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh?

[SpongeBob slowly steps backwards from the TV]

[SpongeBob on TV also slowly steps backwards from his TV as well]

[SpongeBob suddenly runs up to the TV]

[SpongeBob on TV also suddenly runs up to the TV as well]

SpongeBob: You're a stubborn one, aren't you?

SpongeBob (on TV): You're a stubborn one, aren't you?

[SpongeBob makes a goofy face]

[SpongeBob on TV makes a goofy face]

[SpongeBob makes an even goofier face]

[SpongeBob on TV makes an even goofier face]

SpongeBob (frustrated): AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!

SpongeBob (on TV): AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!

SpongeBob: That's it! I'm turning off the TV!

SpongeBob (on TV): That's it! I'm turning off the TV!

[SpongeBob grabs his remote and turns off the TV, which caUsEs tH15 5H0Rt T0SHWUCEENL–

COMMUNICATION ERROR #SB0129

An unknown error has occurred, and therefore the episode "SpongeBob Shorts no. 30" has been terminated. Please restart your television. If this error persists, please call our television customer service hotline at 1-800-MAT-SPN-GFTC. Message and data rates may apply. Help services not available in Hawaii, North Macedonia, or Vanuatu.


THE END?

--


Anyway, no more of me posting a bunch of links at the bottom of each shorts collection. Scroll back up and click the link to the document with ALL 30 of my shorts all at one place! And as for Part 11, well, stay tuned. It just might come sooner than you expect...
 

PinkPugPrincess

Baby Patrick Star
Staff
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
2,198
Likes
1,823
Location
United Kingdom
WE'RE BACK! Today, my fanmade SpongeBob Shorts series continues with three all-new shorts in Part 10! These might just be my favorite ones yet, and though it was a lot of fun writing these shorts, I hope you have fun reading them as well! Also, if you want to check out ALL 30 of my shorts, click this link HERE to view the ultimate collection!

In these shorts, you'll find Mr. Krabs getting caught in a crab trap, Squidward showing off some magic, and... spongeception? Either way, as usual, I hope you enjoy! :D

28. Krabby Trappers
with Mr. Krabs
special guests: Seamus Crabber and Reginald Crabber

LATE ONE EVENING…


[It's the end of another day at the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabs is in his office counting money]

Mr. Krabs (sniffing the money): Ah, me money. A sweeter smell than any other flotsam or jetsam in the sea!

[Mr. Krabs gets up from his chair, takes a 100 dollar bill, and starts wiping it against his butt in joy]

[Mr. Krabs sees the cameraman in his office that's filming him, and looks directly at the camera]

Mr. Krabs (to the viewer): Hey! Get out of me private quarters! This is none of ya business!

[The camera turns away]

[Suddenly, SpongeBob frantically bursts into the office, holding a copy of the Bikini Bottom Inquirer in his hand]

SpongeBob (panicking): MR. KRABSSSSSS!!

Mr. Krabs (worried): What's wrong, me boyo? Is Plankton up to something again?

SpongeBob: No… take a look at this!

[SpongeBob holds a copy of the Inquirer up to Mr. Krabs's face]

Mr. Krabs (reading): "Crab traps spotted near Downtown Bikini Bottom: All crustaceans urged to remain inside for next 24 hours…"

SpongeBob: See? You gotta be careful, Mr. Krabs! If you see any sausages inside cages lying around, don't go into them!

Mr. Krabs: Phooey! What kind of barnacle-brained crab would fall for one of those? It's gonna take more than Surface Land sausages to get this crab trapped!

THE NEXT DAY…

[Mr. Krabs is walking down the street]

Mr. Krabs: I gotta buy a new pair of me pants! All that butt-wiping has really worn down me jeans!

[Close-up of Mr. Krabs's worn-down jeans, with his shiny big red behind exposed]

Mr. Krabs (looking around): I've been walking down this street for a while, and I still haven't seen any "crab traps" SpongeBob was hollerin' about! He really gotta stop readin' those junk articles…

[Mr. Krabs's nose suddenly starts to twitch]

Mr. Krabs: Oh! Me nose! It's sensing that there's some MONEY around!

[Mr. Krabs follows his nose until he sees a dollar lying on the ground]

Mr. Krabs: A dollar! I wonder who could've left that there…

[Mr. Krabs goes to pick it up, but suddenly…]

ZIIIIIIIIIIP!

[Mr. Krabs suddenly finds himself in a crab trap when he picks up the dollar, and the crab trap is raised off the ground]

Mr. Krabs (inside the crab trap): Barnacles! HELP!! HELP!!

[The crab trap is lifted to the surface as Mr. Krabs cries for help]

ABOVE THE WATER…

[Two crab fishermen, Seamus and Reginald, are seen on a crabbing boat]

Seamus (raising the crab trap with Mr. Krabs in it): I got one! Reggie, come 'n' take a look!

[Reginald walks over to Seamus and sees the crab trap with Mr. Krabs in it, holding the dollar]

Reginald: Oh, so there's the dollar that fell out of my pocket! And that stupid crab took it as bait!

Mr. Krabs (inside the crab trap): Stupid? Who ya callin' stupid?

Seamus: My goodness, look at the crab's claws! They're so big and meaty… How about you fire up the ol' stove? We just caught ourselves some lunch!

Reginald (walking away): Sure thing, Seamus! I'll get you the knife. This crab's gonna be served with extra butter!

[Reginald gives Seamus the knife]

Seamus (releasing Mr. Krabs from the crab trap): Alright, silly crab, you stay there. I'll make this quick and painless.

[Mr. Krabs sees the knife shining in Seamus's hand, and decides to fight back]

Mr. Krabs: Oh I don't think so, scallywag! Take this!

[Mr. Krabs jumps out of the trap and pinches Seamus's nose]

Seamus: YEOOOOWWWCCHHH!!

[Seamus falls back, and his knife falls into the water]

Reginald (running back out with buttery hands): What's the matter, Seamus?

Seamus: That blasted crab pinched me nose! Get em, Reggie!

[Reginald grabs a metal pan and tries to beat Mr. Krabs, but the pan flies out of Reginald's buttery hands]

Reginald: Blast! Me buttery hands! Me precious pan!

Mr. Krabs: Ha! Now, I'll show ye not to mess with ol' Eugene Crabs!

[Mr. Krabs jumps up to Reginald and pinches his nose as well]

Reginald: YEOOOOWWWCCHHH!!

[Reginald falls back, and his wallet falls out of his pocket]

Mr. Krabs (seeing Reginald's wallet full of cash): Oh! Money! I'll take that.

[Mr. Krabs scuttles up to Reginald's wallet, grabs it, then leaps up to the side of the ship]

Mr. Krabs: So long, ya lubbers! Ya try to catch me again, and I'll tear ya to pieces with these BIG MEATY CLAWS! (laughs)

[Mr. Krabs dives back into the water, taking Reginald's wallet full of cash with him]

Seamus (getting back up): Reginald, look! That crab took ya wallet! Should we go after 'em?

Reginald (getting back up): Naw, just get me some bandages for me nose. Ouch.

THE END

--

29. The Amazing Squidini
with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward


[It is another normal day in Bikini Bottom, and we see Conch Street]

[The camera zooms in on Squidward's front door, and we see it slowly creak open]

[Squidward sticks his head out of the door, and looks left and right]

Squidward: Good. The coast is clear. No morons detected in the area.

[Squidward swings the door open, revealing that he is dressed up in a fancy purple and black suit with a bow tie and a top hat]

Squidward (excitedly standing outside the door): Prepare to brace yourselves, Bikini Bottomites, because today, Squidward's taking the stage at the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic Orchestra!

[Squidward pulls out a mirror, looks at himself, and adjusts his top hat]

Squidward: Mmm… How dazzling. How dashing. How debonair. How suave. How sophisticated. Squiddy, you're a fine lookin' guy.

[Squidward puts his mirror away and pulls out his clarinet box and opens it, revealing his clarinet]

Squidward: Get ready, Clarry, because today, I'm going to BLOW you like never before!

[Squidward closes his clarinet box and starts walking down the street, when suddenly…

[...SpongeBob and Patrick jump out right in front of Squidward, scaring him]

SpongeBob (screaming): HI SQUIDWARD!

Patrick (screaming): HI SQUIDWARD!

Squidward (in shock): GAAAAAAAAHHH!!

[Squidward jumps up and falls back down with a crash, and SpongeBob and Patrick notice Squidward's top hat]

Squidward (standing back up): You morons! This is not the time to play! I have a concert to go to and an audience to dazzle!

SpongeBob (pointing to Squidward's top hat): Wow, Squidward! I never knew you were a magician!

Patrick: Yeah! Why didn't you tell us before? I love magic tricks!

Squidward: That's not a magic hat, you ignorami! It's my dazzling, dashing, debonair, suave and sophisticated CONCERT HAT!!

SpongeBob (going up to Squidward's face): Yeah right, Squidward… don't try to hide it! You're a magician! Hey! Can you pull a sea bunny out of your hat?

Patrick (going up to Squidward's face): Or juggle five bowling pins at once?

SpongeBob: Or breathe fire? Or float in midair?

Patrick: Or catch a bullet with your teeth? Or balance five plates on sticks?

SpongeBob: Or cut a fish in half? Or make flowers appear out of your wand?

Patrick: Or make a penny vanish into thin air? Or turn yourself into a Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob: Wait… Squidward… I know what you're going to do! You're going to wrap yourself in a straitjacket, chain your arms and legs together, dunk yourself in water, and escape in three minutes! Like the great Harry Haddockdini!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are shouting right in Squidward's face, and Squidward starts to get so annoyed that his face turns red]

Squidward (furious): NO!! I AM NOT A MAGICIAN!! I HAVE A CLARINET TO BLOW, AND YOU TWO MORONS ARE WASTING MY TIME!

[Steam comes out of Squidward's ears as he is so angry]

SpongeBob: Oh my Neptune! Squidward! You just made steam magically come out of your ears!

Patrick: Yeah Squidward! That was great! Show us more!

[Squidward facepalms and shakes his head]

Squidward: Okay, fine… Do you want to see more?

[SpongeBob and Patrick dumbly nod with goofy expressions on their faces]

Squidward: Alrighty, then… (thinking up a plan) …Here, I call this trick… "The Incredible Disappearing Squid." But for this trick to work, SpongeBob, Patrick, you will have to follow just one simple rule!

[SpongeBob and Patrick dumbly nod again]

Squidward: Good. Now, all you have to do is turn around, close your eyes, and count to ten. Then, when those ten seconds are up, turn back around, and I will magically disappear! Got it?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Got it, Squidward!

Patrick: Ooh, this trick is going to be so fun!

Squidward (muttering): Heh heh, it's gonna be fun all right. Okay, morons, let's do it!

[SpongeBob and Patrick turn around, close their eyes, and start counting to ten]

ZOOM

[Squidward hightails it and runs far, far away from SpongeBob and Patrick, holding tight onto his top hat and his clarinet case]

TEN SECONDS LATER…

[Squidward runs off into the distance just as SpongeBob and Patrick count to ten]

[SpongeBob and Patrick open their eyes, and turn around, and sees that Squidward is gone]

SpongeBob: Wow, Patrick! Would you look at that! Squidward really did disappear!

Patrick: Yeah! That was the greatest magic trick in the history of magic tricks!

SpongeBob: Now all this magic has sure given me an appetite. I'll go back home and make some popcorn for me and Gary! Oh, imagine what it would be like for me to be a great magician… I'm sure going to get into the hocus pocus business sometime soon!

[SpongeBob and Patrick head back into their houses as SpongeBob starts preparing popcorn on the stove]

[Wait, does this sound familiar?]

THE END

--

30. SpongeBob vs. Television
with SpongeBob and... TV SpongeBob?


[SpongeBob is seen in his house eating popcorn and scrolling through television channels, while Gary is by his side]

SpongeBob: Gary, they just don't make TV shows like they used to. Ever since they cancelled Hot and Wild Dancing Anemones last year, it just doesn't feel the same.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: What do you mean I shouldn't watch that stuff? Come on! That was peak television right there! Now look at all the silly stuff they're putting on TV today!

[SpongeBob scrolls to a random channel]

TV Announcer: We now return to SCUBA: Super Cool Ultimate Blobfish Army!, our top-rated TV show for the past eleven weeks and counting.

[Five ugly blobfish appear on the TV screen in the Blobcave, with all of them having different color suits]

Super Red Blobfish (to Super Green Blobfish): Super Green! I just received word that Super Yellow has been fishnapped by the Mighty Evil Seagull From Above! We must find him before it's too late!

[cheesy dramatic sound effect]

Super Green Blobfish: Not Super Yellow! And not Mighty Evil Seagull again! Ohhhhhh noooooo!! We must rescue him! Fast!

[another cheesy dramatic sound effect]

Super Blue Blobfish: To the Blobcopter!

[The five Super Blobfish run to the Blobcopter, which is a helicopter that looks like a blobfish]

Super Orange Blobfish (going into the pilot's seat): This is bad! This is very very bad! Super Green, do you know how bad this is?

Super Green Blobfish: It's bad for sure! If Mighty Evil Seagull eats Super Yellow, then bad things will happen! And I hate bad things! Bad things are bad!

[SpongeBob shuts off the channel]


SpongeBob: Man, just saying, if Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ever laid their eyes on this garbage, then I'm sure their eyes would melt right off. Let's go see if there's anything better.

[SpongeBob scrolls through more channels, and then stops on a random channel]

Another TV Announcer: And now, we return to our regularly scheduled programming for today, with more of our hit show, SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob: "SpongeBob SquarePants"? Hmph! What a silly name. Who in their right mind would name someone SpongeBob SquarePants? If I was named something as silly as "SpongeBob," I would feel offended!

[The SpongeBob intro comes onto the screen]

Painty the Pirate (singing): SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob… SquarePantsssssssss!! Argharghargharghargh. (whistle sound and seagull noises)

SpongeBob: Wow. This show is already annoying, and I haven't even seen five seconds of it!

[The TV screen simply cuts to a scene of SpongeBob sitting in his living room watching TV and eating popcorn]

[That continues for five more seconds]


SpongeBob: Hey! What's this show even about?

SpongeBob (on TV): Hey! What's this show even about?

SpongeBob: Huh? Who said that?

SpongeBob (on TV): Huh? Who said that?

SpongeBob: Hey you! TV guy! Stop copying me! It's not funny!

SpongeBob (on TV): Hey you! TV guy! Stop copying me! It's not funny!

[SpongeBob stands up and throws down his popcorn bucket in anger]

[SpongeBob on TV also stands up and throws down his popcorn bucket in anger]

SpongeBob: Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh?

SpongeBob (on TV): Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh?

[SpongeBob slowly steps backwards from the TV]

[SpongeBob on TV also slowly steps backwards from his TV as well]

[SpongeBob suddenly runs up to the TV]

[SpongeBob on TV also suddenly runs up to the TV as well]

SpongeBob: You're a stubborn one, aren't you?

SpongeBob (on TV): You're a stubborn one, aren't you?

[SpongeBob makes a goofy face]

[SpongeBob on TV makes a goofy face]

[SpongeBob makes an even goofier face]

[SpongeBob on TV makes an even goofier face]

SpongeBob (frustrated): AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!

SpongeBob (on TV): AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!

SpongeBob: That's it! I'm turning off the TV!

SpongeBob (on TV): That's it! I'm turning off the TV!

[SpongeBob grabs his remote and turns off the TV, which caUsEs tH15 5H0Rt T0SHWUCEENL–

COMMUNICATION ERROR #SB0129

An unknown error has occurred, and therefore the episode "SpongeBob Shorts no. 30" has been terminated. Please restart your television. If this error persists, please call our television customer service hotline at 1-800-MAT-SPN-GFTC. Message and data rates may apply. Help services not available in Hawaii, North Macedonia, or Vanuatu.


THE END?

--


Anyway, no more of me posting a bunch of links at the bottom of each shorts collection. Scroll back up and click the link to the document with ALL 30 of my shorts all at one place! And as for Part 11, well, stay tuned. It just might come sooner than you expect...
Great shorts as usual, Matt. I can't wait for Part 11!
 
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