Looking Back: My Bottom 60

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Alright, I'm back in business for another review. I only have time for one right now, but I'll be posting others later in the summer.

As a side note, I'm going to cut title cards so that I don't run out of room in these posts.

#34
Sponge-Cano!
Season: 7
Episode: 142b
Premiere: January 28, 2011

2011 was a decent year for our yellow sponge. It was the year where Spongebob improved. However, there was one thing blocking the improvement: Legends of Bikini Bottom.

In this atrocity, Spongebob and some weird trash monsters sing an awful song. I'm sorry, but I didn't like it.

Slow filler... slow filler... blah, blah, blah.

SUDDENLY, A VOLCANO ERUPTS- WAIT! There wasn't a volcano before. They go in a place, and a stupid dolphin says:

"Sacrifice the most miserable person."

Of course, they use the tape recorder to record Squidward saying that he is miserable. I thought this joke worked in The Paper, but not in Sponge-Cano! or Boating Buddies.

They throw him in, but Squidward gets saved. I'll at least give Spongebob credit that he admits that he makes Squidward miserable, but that's forgotten in episodes after this.

Then, Squidward's house goes into the volcano, and everyone is saved. Why? Apparently, the dolphin didn't finish his sentence, and he meant to say the most miserable person's house.

One of my main problems with the LOBB is that the endings are cop-outs.

TMWCTBB: The monster helps with ice.
WTTBBT: Mermaids can sing backwards to reverse the vacuum.
TCOTH: The bad luck was from a closed sign.
TMD: It was all a dream.
T B: SB and Pat can get out of the trench.
S-C!: Squidward's house, not Squidward.

Sorry, writers, but cop-out endings aren't excuses for lazy writing.

Least favorite character: Dolphin.
Least favorite moment: The ending.
Least favorite quote: "Throw him in, fellas." -Mayor


Well, this review is a pretty mixed bag.

Let's start with something I disagree with: 2011 was not the year SpongeBob improved. That happened in 2015, buddy. I know that your least favorite episode hadn't aired when you posted this, but still. Also, I don't really go into detail with the plot.

But you know what? Everything else is fine. Not only do I agree with a lot of what I have to say in this review, but I'm not overly angry, and I make a few good points. This review... holds up pretty decently.

To this day, this episode is still bad in my opinion. It feels really unpleasant with the way the city-folk treat Squidward, and I don't like the ending at all for reasons I stated above.

See you all in maybe a week. I'm a bit busy and can't update this list super consistently, unfortunately.
 
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I thought House Fancy was okay besides the toenail scene.

I actually liked the Slumber Party.

I thought Rodeo Daze was just simply bad.

I agree with Little Yellow Book and thought that it was one of the worst of Season 9.

The Curse of the Hex was just mediocre to me, though the hagfish was pretty ugly.

Unpopular opinion, I actually liked Patty Caper. I thought all the ways that SpongeBob interrogated people were kind of clever. But that's just my opinion.

I absolutely despise Smoothe Jazz and think it's actually the worst of the whole show.

I also think that Restraining SpongeBob is one of the worst Season 8 episodes.

I didn't mind Gullible Pants that much. I thought it was pretty inoffensive compared to other episodes.

I thought Blackened Sponge was one of Season 5's better episodes.

Good Ol' Whatshisname was a really dull episode for me personally.

You'll probably disagree with me but I thought Slide Whistle Stooges was tolerable. I didn't think the slide whistles were that annoying and I thought the "Assault your own baby!" line was pretty funny.

My opinions on The Play's the Thing are the exact same as Good Ol' Whatshisname.

I always thought Good Neighbors was a bit overhated but I'm certainly not defending it. The ending is terrible.

I liked the nightshirt gag in Sentimental Sponge, but other than that the episode was kind of boring.

I've never liked Karate Island. I always thought that certain events were dumb and the fights were kind of anticlimactic.

The Big One was another episode I found to be pretty dull.

I agree with Pineapple Fever. Squidward ripping off his eyebrow was totally unnecessary and it felt really random.

Grooming Gary is an episode that I didn't find to be TOO bad but I can see why you dislike it.

I never thought Gone was that bad. I liked the atmosphere of it.

Most of Demolition Doofus was terrible but I actually liked the demolition derby.

I agree with The Thing. One of my least favorite Season 4 episodes.

I always thought Tentacle Vision was mediocre. Squidward isn't treated that badly but it's not great either.

I kind of liked the song in Best Day Ever but most of it was unnecessary.

I agree that SpongeHenge was pretty bad. It was super weird and creepy.

I didn't think Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful was awful but like Good Neighbors, I'm not defending it.

I thought that The Krusty Sponge was decent and I liked the metaphor of the episode.

And Sponge-Cano! was another mediocre LOBB episode to me.
 
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Alright, time for business.

#33
Professor Squidward
Season: 6
Episode: 117b
Premiere: February 19, 2009

This episode suffers the same problem as Tentacle-Vision: Squidward Abuse, and it's boring. Also:

Why the heck are Spongebob and Patrick in the university anyway? On the same day Squidward goes there? Coincidence? I think not.

At least Squidward gets arrested for a justified reason.

Also, this is my least favorite Squilliam episode.

Least favorite character- Billy (poor Billy, I hate you...)
Least favorite moment- The train moment
Least favorite quote- "Tick tick tick tick..." -SB and Pat (ANNOYING)


Wow, another review that's not detailed in any way? Color me surprised. I suppose we'll break this down by line because I can't wrap my brain around all of this in one go.

"This episode suffers the same problem as Tentacle-Vision: Squidward Abuse, and it's boring. Also:" First and foremost, there is no detail here. What about this episode was Squidward Abuse, and what made it boring? Again, elaborating really could've helped my point here, but I chose not to do that for some reason. (It's because I sucked at reviewing back then).

"Why the heck are Spongebob and Patrick in the university anyway? On the same day Squidward goes there? Coincidence? I think not.": This is a good critique, and I agree with it.

The last two lines mean basically nothing due to lack of elaboration, and the least favorite categories were clearly me choosing the most random things that popped into my head about the episode. As for my thoughts on the episode? I stand by the statement that it's very boring. There's very little interesting going on. I also still hate that SB and Pat are at the university. Those things cost money, and there's no way SpongeBob, whose pay is pretty low because of his cheap boss, and Patrick, who doesn't even work, would be able to go there. There's not even a joke to remark how nonsensical it is. It's just presented as something normal. The episode would be much better if it focused almost primarily on Squidward being caught in his own tale of lies.

"#32
Night Light
Season: 5
Episode: 82b
Premiere: July 30, 2007

Stupid. Just plain stupid. I really dislike this one.

What really bothers me is that this episode is not on a lot of bottom 50/60 lists. Night Light... my gosh. Holy cow.

That head, to... Holy mother of God...

Least favorite character- Patrick
Least favorite moment- Spongebob getting the night lights (boring...)
Least favorite quote- "That the author died trying to recount them in this novel." -Spongebob (THAT MAKES NO SENSE)"


I don't feel like sidestepping, this review is abysmal. The first line has no detail involved in criticism. I merely call the episode stupid and say I dislike it as if that alone means anything. Here's a protip to my past self: criticism means virtually nothing unless it's explained why you dislike a particular thing. I seem to lose my bearing in the second line, as I'm speechless about the episode. "My gosh, holy cow?" That's the best I could do? And while this episode not being on many bottom 60 lists was shocking to me, that's not a detriment to the episode. Just because an episode is loved/hated more/less than you think it should be doesn't change its quality at all.

Oh, and that moment is a whole centerpiece of the episode. I don't know what I was thinking. As for the quote: Believe it or not, past me, sometimes things don't make sense for the sake of comedy. SpongeBob SquarePants, in particular, is a series whose comedy very often comes from something not making any sense. That's the joke, the fact that it doesn't make sense.

The episode's not good, though. A lot of it is just SpongeBob and Patrick being afraid of the dark without there anything really funny being put in to elevate it otherwise. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy also have no place in the episode, and feel like they were thrown in at the last minute because the writers couldn't make the night lights concept fill up the full 11 minutes.

"#31
Plankton's Regular
Season: 6
Episode: 108b
Premiere: August 6, 2008

I've only got one thing to say:

WHY DID THEY YANK THE CHAIN ON PLANKTON?!?

So, Plankton isn't allowed to be happy? Horrible!

Least favorite character- that stupid big red fatty
Least favorite moment- the ending
Least favorite quote- "What? And miss this? I've never enjoyed me self more! This irony is pretty good stuff." -Mr. Krabs (choke him with his own money. Mama Krabs giving birth to this idiot was a bad idea.)"


For goodness's sake, past me, please write proper reviews and not meaningless unconnected sentences. I agree with my criticism in that Mr. Krabs is unfair to Plankton (come on, dude, you lost one customer and you're reacting angrily), and they decide to throw this stupid twist in, but I don't elaborate, so my critique means nothing. Also, that "yank the chain" comment will make no sense to anybody who's not familiar with TVTropes.

And again with the unnecessary anger. I want a cartoon crab to be choked with money because I was mad about an 11 minute comedy cartoon. I'm not saying the show is immune to criticism or anything, but I feel like I'm genuinely angry about this episode instead of being angry with the episode and then moving on with life.

But hey, we're at least halfway done with this list. Or, I guess, we're halfway there... halfway there... halfway there...

#30
Funny Pants
Season: 4
Episode: 65b
Premiere: September 30, 2005

If I were to make a most annoying episodes list, this would be #3. Yes, there are two more annoying episodes.

Another day, another nickel, laugh laugh laugh? More like, another day, another horrible joke, not funny not funny not funny.

Least favorite character- Spongebob's laughter (The laugher should count, right?)
Least favorite moment- The ending.
Least favorite quote- "Ah, there he goes to share his laughter off with the world." -Spongebob

I'M CONSIDERING TO PUT THIS EPISODE HIGHER


Is it just me, or did my reviews get lazier somehow? I was semi-descriptive at the beginning of the list, and here I'm just not even bothering.

I love how insistent I am about this annoying episodes list. And then I say that after I'd put this in #3 on that list, that's there two more annoying episodes. Oh, really, past me? I totally didn't get that there were two more just from the first part of the comment on Funny Pants being #3. I sure am glad I explained it more because apparently I assumed people were too stupid to get it the first time. It's like the equivalent of comedy shows explaining and prolonging their jokes until they're not funny anymore.

That analogy sucked, too. They sound nothing alike, and the criticism has no meaning because I again fail to explain myself properly. And no, SpongeBob's laughter is not a character. Just put SpongeBob in the section. And "I am considering to put this episode higher"? Why not do it, then? And the list was already done, so what's the point of making that comment?

But I do agree in that this episode is pretty bad. SpongeBob's constant laughter is really annoying, and it lasts for almost all the episode before switching to crying. The joke is just prolonged and worn out and it isn't funny. There's no real clever gags with them either (aside from Squidward's house plugging its ears). Yeah, this one was bad.

#29
The Main Drain
Season: 7
Episode: 141b
Premiere: January 28, 2011

What a copout. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing in this episode makes the simplest of sense!

"No one was heard from again" Then how did the story exist?!? FFFFFFFFFFF-

Then the ending. My god, the ending...

Do NOT make me talk about it.
Ah, well...
Least favorite character- OMJ
Least favorite moment- the ending
Least favorite quote- "We were the two dingalings who pulled that plug." -Plankton (HOW ARE YOU GUYS ALIVE THEN?!?)


Oh, look, another review where I understand my criticism, but it means nothing because I'm very undescriptive. I really don't know what else to say other than this review is bad because of my lack of description. And "do not make me talk about it?" Yeah, how dare people expect you to actually describe why you dislike an episode and such, am I right? This review sucks.

I don't like the episode, either. It makes little to no sense in my opinion, and the story has numerous plot holes in it. I know it's a comedy cartoon, but the story at least needs to make sense, or else everything falls apart.


#28
Season: 7
Episode: 136b
Premiere: March 23, 2010
If you printed off the title cards of Krusty Love and Boating Buddies, took the papers, put them in a blender, turned the blender for two and a half minutes, the paper will read summer job on it.

In this very annoying episode, Mrs. Puff crashes into the Krusty Krab because Spongebob tries to give her a note. Mr. Krabs makes Mrs. Puff work in order to pay the damages.
Then we get into... Oh, no... Filler. Look, writers, I know you're trying to be funny, but it's not. It just comes out boring.
Fed up with Spongebob annoying her, Mrs. Puff goes into the boat and rips up the note, where she gets arrested for littering. It turns out the note was saying that Spongebob got a job as a driving instructor in prison, which is where Mrs. Puff is headed.

Police, I really don't understand why you send Mrs. Puff to driving school when she, oh, I don't know... littered! Oh yeah, the writers want to put Mrs. Puff in the "Butt-monkey" role.
Least favorite character- Spongebob
Least favorite moment- the ending
Least favorite quote- "Why are you yelling at me customers?" -Mr. Krabs (shut up)


Hey, this review actually isn't half bad. I miss the main point of why I dislike this episode, but I make quite a few good points. There is a lot of padding in this episode, Mrs. Puff being arrested is pretty stupid, and this episode does feel like Krusty Love and Boating Buddies combined (though the blender joke would've been funnier if I subverted the punchline, like if it went like this: "If you printed off the title cards of Krusty Love and Boating Buddies, took the papers, put them in a blender, turned the blender for two and a half minutes, then you'd get the title cards in a bunch of messy pieces.").

While I do dislike this episode, the main reason why I do isn't mentioned here: It's a role reversal episode without reversing the characters' personalities. SpongeBob teaches Mrs. Puff, but the episode still involves him getting on Mrs. Puff's nerves, when it would be funnier if it were the other way around.

#27
Squid Baby
Season: 9
Episode: 181b
Premiere: September 3, 2012

As predictable as it is, Squid Baby is my least favorite episode in season 9. All I have to say is that it is an insult to certain people.

I want to go outside, so today is going to be short.

Least favorite character- Mr. Krabs
Least favorite moment- See least favorite quote.
Least favorite quote- "I don't care if he's a seaweed for brains. He needs to be behind that register. We've got customers out there just begging to hand me their money." -Mr. Krabs (YOU JERK!)


This is kind of funny in hindsight, as my least favorite season 9 episode actually aired a day after this review was posted (though I didn't watch it until about a week later). And the episode definitely has more issues than being an insult to certain people: It's gross, it treats Squidward poorly with no justification, SpongeBob and Patrick act like literal babies, Mr. Krabs is overly antagonistic for no real reason, the jokes fall flat for these various reasons, and the plot has been done before and better.

But what really boils my blood about this review is the second part. I could've written an in-depth review, but instead, I skimped out because I wanted to go outside. Seriously? I was that lazy? That's actually really pathetic.

I'll come back again at a later date to unveil my thoughts on my old reviews soon. Again, I apologize that the updates aren't consistent, but I've got a life outside the internet, especially with me heading to university pretty soon.
 
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