The Guy With the Computer
VERY busy
This idea came to me pretty recently when I was looking through some of my older posts.
If you don't remember, almost four years ago, I made a bottom 60 topic. Here's the link if you want to read it: https://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/35417-charles-bottom-60-episodes-as-of-currently/?st=0 Do be warned, however. These reviews are very cynical and clearly a product of their time (2013-2014, when being cynical about SpongeBob was pretty much a requirement on the internet.) I also already found a flaw: My name is actually not Charles. I simply used it because I wanted to keep most of my essential information private.
However, my point isn't to repeat the list or anything. I want to look back at these reviews and see if they're good or not. I remember most of these being overly angry (again, product of their time. However, I haven't read any of the reviews since I first wrote them. I'm going to look back and see how well they hold up.
If you dislike overly cynical reviews of this show, I suggest skipping past the review and seeing the other sections, where I talk about the review and my thoughts on the episode at this current point in time, as well as mention if it would be on the list today. Even if I still dislike the episode, I'll be talking about them more maturely than I most likely did four years ago. However, I suggest reading the review so that you better understand my points.
To give you an idea of the format, I'm going to show the first review I'll be looking over.
"#60
Season: 6
Episode: 101a
Airdate: June 6, 2008
Now, I place this low on the list because it's not that offensive of an episode.I still mostly enjoyed the episode, but why is it on here?
In the beginning scene, Squidward is seen watching House Fancy.
Squilliam is shown showing his house, because his house is fancy, and fancy, and fancy, an- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What happened?
So then, Squidward tells Squilliam that his house is fancier, and Nicholas comes right away. Squidward tries to one-up Squilliam. SB is caught spying on Squidward, and Squidward says Spongebob can help.
Then, Spongebob gets paint on everything. Squidward tries to move stuff, and this happens:
What the heck is up with this? It's so distracting and keeps your mind off the rest of the episode. Then, the vacuum starts sucking everything up, and Squidward's house explodes. Squidward wins.
Although the episode itself is decent, it could of been better without it being boring, and that scene.
Least Favorite Character: Spongebob
Least Favorite Moment: That picture
Least Favorite Quote: "Aaagh!" -Squidward
Hint for 59: We have to save that person."
REVIEW ANALYSIS:
Does anyone else notice how oddly this review is structured? I don't go into much detail about the plot, aside from mentioning certain plot points and throwing in a stupid joke about how boring the episode is. Did I really need that many Z's? Because of how short my thoughts were, I'm wondering if that joke was used to pad out the length of the review.
I also have that weird sentence about Squidward telling Squilliam his house is fancier. Yeah, no, he told Nicholas that, not Squilliam. The rest of this weirdly short paragraph does nothing to describe the conflict of the episode. Not once do I mention that Squidward needs to revamp his house. Granted, you've likely seen the episode if you're reading the review, but I still should've gone into better detail.
Not to mention that other moments are forgotten by me. Granted, this episode isn't very memorable (aside from the toenail scene and the ending,) but after I react to the toenail scene, I skip right to the vacuum part, instead of mentioning SpongeBob's brain, Patrick, or the death of Squidward's toilet. It really does feel like I tried to write a review as quickly as possible. In fact, that's likely what the issue here is. Notice how short it all is? No one wants to read a review that's short and not descriptive.
Oh, and "Squidward wins." Again, way to describe the actual episode in detail, past me.
I also say "could of" instead of "could've." One very glaring detail about my older reviews you'll notice quickly is that my grammar was horrible back then.
On a more positive note, however, I wasn't overly angry in this review. Then again, it's only #60, and House Fancy is more boring than frustrating, but at least the first review here isn't super cynical.
Does this review hold up? Not really. When it comes to being overly angry, I did a good job at not doing that, but this review is not descriptive and so short that it feels as though I threw it together in a few minutes. It wouldn't surprise me if I did.
MY CURRENT THOUGHTS:
If you can't tell, House Fancy, in my opinion, is an episode that is very middle of the road. Aside from the toenail scene (which is really disgusting and wasn't needed,) and Squidward winning (which wasn't expected by me upon initial viewing and was a nice change of pace,) this episode isn't very interesting. I'd say it's decent.
Would this episode be put on the list if it were made today? Probably not. If the episode is more boring than anything else, and there's nothing that makes me super angry, I can't say that the episode deserves to be called the 60th worst one in my opinion. So yeah, it's off the list.
That's how these reviews are going to go. I'll post #59 as soon as possible.
But wait! It turns out I added a new #60. Here it is: (The title card is broken, but it's supposed to be the Slumber Party.)
"The NEW #60
Season: 6
Episode: 110a
Airdate: November 28, 2008
I actually originally had the plot filled out, but I accidentally backspaced and erased my data, so I'll just leave this here:
All Pearl does is whine and complain. She throws a slumber party, ruins Mr. Krabs house,
Least favorite character- Pearl
Least favorite moment- The beginning and the end
Least favorite quote- Pearl whining and complaining (shut up before I skin you, kill you, and eat you for dinner you stupid whale)
I will post 55 tomorrow."
REVIEW ANALYSIS:
And I thought my review of House Fancy was pretty bad. THIS makes that review look like Roger Ebert's skills. THAT'S saying something.
First of all, I tell everyone that I don't have a plot filled out because I "backspaced and erased my data." That's a terrible excuse for making a review like this. Instead of putting effort into the review and trying to describe it, I leave two sentences (one of which seems incomplete.)
Not to mention that I complain about Pearl's role here. She is snobby, yes, but it doesn't last that long in the episode, so why I'm focusing on that more than anything else makes little sense. Then again, writing this bad a review doesn't make much sense, either.
Also, look at that least favorite X part. In my House Fancy review, it was obvious what the issue was, so my lack of extreme detail in the least favorite X parts was fine. In a review like this, though, I'm confused. What did I not like about "the beginning and the end?" It's never explained by past me, so I'll never know what made me hate it. The least favorite quote doesn't even feature a quote, but just shows something that generally happened in the episode. Not to mention the "skin you, and kill you, and eat you for dinner, you stupid whale" part. Ignoring the hilarious grammatical mistake (I forgot a comma after "dinner,") this is the first sign of me being overly aggressive and cynical in my reviews. Gosh, this is awful.
Does this review hold up? HECK NO. I really hope none of my other reviews in this topic are like this. This was terrible, and no human being should ever be forced to read it.
MY CURRENT THOUGHTS:
This episode is rather good, in my current opinion. Pearl's snobbishness isn't that annoying to me anymore, and the rest of the episode is good. I like the irony in what happens in the episode. Mr. Krabs doesn't want boys at the party despite trying to smuggle a boy into it, and Mr. Krabs' worries about his house being destroyed come true only because of his own plans, among other parts. This episode even feels similar to No Weenies Allowed, with SpongeBob trying to enter the house (even using the doppelganger gag again.) While I think that episode is far superior over this one, this one's still pretty good.
Would this episode be put on the list if it were made today? Nope. Whereas I'm not sure if House Fancy would be here or not, this episode definitely isn't going on the list. Parts of it did make me laugh, and the episode has an interesting plot that is hinged on some hilarious irony. So, yeah, it's definitely off the list.
That was pretty long, wasn't it? Either way, I think this will be a good idea for me. While most of my older reviews are bad, I have a feeling that I'll eventually find one that holds up really well today. That's one of the points of this topic, after all (the other being to criticize most of the reviews.)
I'll post my thoughts on my #59 review tomorrow.
If you don't remember, almost four years ago, I made a bottom 60 topic. Here's the link if you want to read it: https://www.sbmania.net/forums/topic/35417-charles-bottom-60-episodes-as-of-currently/?st=0 Do be warned, however. These reviews are very cynical and clearly a product of their time (2013-2014, when being cynical about SpongeBob was pretty much a requirement on the internet.) I also already found a flaw: My name is actually not Charles. I simply used it because I wanted to keep most of my essential information private.
However, my point isn't to repeat the list or anything. I want to look back at these reviews and see if they're good or not. I remember most of these being overly angry (again, product of their time. However, I haven't read any of the reviews since I first wrote them. I'm going to look back and see how well they hold up.
If you dislike overly cynical reviews of this show, I suggest skipping past the review and seeing the other sections, where I talk about the review and my thoughts on the episode at this current point in time, as well as mention if it would be on the list today. Even if I still dislike the episode, I'll be talking about them more maturely than I most likely did four years ago. However, I suggest reading the review so that you better understand my points.
To give you an idea of the format, I'm going to show the first review I'll be looking over.
"#60
Season: 6
Episode: 101a
Airdate: June 6, 2008
Now, I place this low on the list because it's not that offensive of an episode.I still mostly enjoyed the episode, but why is it on here?
In the beginning scene, Squidward is seen watching House Fancy.
Squilliam is shown showing his house, because his house is fancy, and fancy, and fancy, an- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What happened?
So then, Squidward tells Squilliam that his house is fancier, and Nicholas comes right away. Squidward tries to one-up Squilliam. SB is caught spying on Squidward, and Squidward says Spongebob can help.
Then, Spongebob gets paint on everything. Squidward tries to move stuff, and this happens:
What the heck is up with this? It's so distracting and keeps your mind off the rest of the episode. Then, the vacuum starts sucking everything up, and Squidward's house explodes. Squidward wins.
Although the episode itself is decent, it could of been better without it being boring, and that scene.
Least Favorite Character: Spongebob
Least Favorite Moment: That picture
Least Favorite Quote: "Aaagh!" -Squidward
Hint for 59: We have to save that person."
REVIEW ANALYSIS:
Does anyone else notice how oddly this review is structured? I don't go into much detail about the plot, aside from mentioning certain plot points and throwing in a stupid joke about how boring the episode is. Did I really need that many Z's? Because of how short my thoughts were, I'm wondering if that joke was used to pad out the length of the review.
I also have that weird sentence about Squidward telling Squilliam his house is fancier. Yeah, no, he told Nicholas that, not Squilliam. The rest of this weirdly short paragraph does nothing to describe the conflict of the episode. Not once do I mention that Squidward needs to revamp his house. Granted, you've likely seen the episode if you're reading the review, but I still should've gone into better detail.
Not to mention that other moments are forgotten by me. Granted, this episode isn't very memorable (aside from the toenail scene and the ending,) but after I react to the toenail scene, I skip right to the vacuum part, instead of mentioning SpongeBob's brain, Patrick, or the death of Squidward's toilet. It really does feel like I tried to write a review as quickly as possible. In fact, that's likely what the issue here is. Notice how short it all is? No one wants to read a review that's short and not descriptive.
Oh, and "Squidward wins." Again, way to describe the actual episode in detail, past me.
I also say "could of" instead of "could've." One very glaring detail about my older reviews you'll notice quickly is that my grammar was horrible back then.
On a more positive note, however, I wasn't overly angry in this review. Then again, it's only #60, and House Fancy is more boring than frustrating, but at least the first review here isn't super cynical.
Does this review hold up? Not really. When it comes to being overly angry, I did a good job at not doing that, but this review is not descriptive and so short that it feels as though I threw it together in a few minutes. It wouldn't surprise me if I did.
MY CURRENT THOUGHTS:
If you can't tell, House Fancy, in my opinion, is an episode that is very middle of the road. Aside from the toenail scene (which is really disgusting and wasn't needed,) and Squidward winning (which wasn't expected by me upon initial viewing and was a nice change of pace,) this episode isn't very interesting. I'd say it's decent.
Would this episode be put on the list if it were made today? Probably not. If the episode is more boring than anything else, and there's nothing that makes me super angry, I can't say that the episode deserves to be called the 60th worst one in my opinion. So yeah, it's off the list.
That's how these reviews are going to go. I'll post #59 as soon as possible.
But wait! It turns out I added a new #60. Here it is: (The title card is broken, but it's supposed to be the Slumber Party.)
"The NEW #60
Season: 6
Episode: 110a
Airdate: November 28, 2008
I actually originally had the plot filled out, but I accidentally backspaced and erased my data, so I'll just leave this here:
All Pearl does is whine and complain. She throws a slumber party, ruins Mr. Krabs house,
Least favorite character- Pearl
Least favorite moment- The beginning and the end
Least favorite quote- Pearl whining and complaining (shut up before I skin you, kill you, and eat you for dinner you stupid whale)
I will post 55 tomorrow."
REVIEW ANALYSIS:
And I thought my review of House Fancy was pretty bad. THIS makes that review look like Roger Ebert's skills. THAT'S saying something.
First of all, I tell everyone that I don't have a plot filled out because I "backspaced and erased my data." That's a terrible excuse for making a review like this. Instead of putting effort into the review and trying to describe it, I leave two sentences (one of which seems incomplete.)
Not to mention that I complain about Pearl's role here. She is snobby, yes, but it doesn't last that long in the episode, so why I'm focusing on that more than anything else makes little sense. Then again, writing this bad a review doesn't make much sense, either.
Also, look at that least favorite X part. In my House Fancy review, it was obvious what the issue was, so my lack of extreme detail in the least favorite X parts was fine. In a review like this, though, I'm confused. What did I not like about "the beginning and the end?" It's never explained by past me, so I'll never know what made me hate it. The least favorite quote doesn't even feature a quote, but just shows something that generally happened in the episode. Not to mention the "skin you, and kill you, and eat you for dinner, you stupid whale" part. Ignoring the hilarious grammatical mistake (I forgot a comma after "dinner,") this is the first sign of me being overly aggressive and cynical in my reviews. Gosh, this is awful.
Does this review hold up? HECK NO. I really hope none of my other reviews in this topic are like this. This was terrible, and no human being should ever be forced to read it.
MY CURRENT THOUGHTS:
This episode is rather good, in my current opinion. Pearl's snobbishness isn't that annoying to me anymore, and the rest of the episode is good. I like the irony in what happens in the episode. Mr. Krabs doesn't want boys at the party despite trying to smuggle a boy into it, and Mr. Krabs' worries about his house being destroyed come true only because of his own plans, among other parts. This episode even feels similar to No Weenies Allowed, with SpongeBob trying to enter the house (even using the doppelganger gag again.) While I think that episode is far superior over this one, this one's still pretty good.
Would this episode be put on the list if it were made today? Nope. Whereas I'm not sure if House Fancy would be here or not, this episode definitely isn't going on the list. Parts of it did make me laugh, and the episode has an interesting plot that is hinged on some hilarious irony. So, yeah, it's definitely off the list.
That was pretty long, wasn't it? Either way, I think this will be a good idea for me. While most of my older reviews are bad, I have a feeling that I'll eventually find one that holds up really well today. That's one of the points of this topic, after all (the other being to criticize most of the reviews.)
I'll post my thoughts on my #59 review tomorrow.