Kay-Rah-Tae: The Movie!

Stinkoman 20X6

I want to get lost in your rock and roll
Sep 22, 2005
Stealing your grill
Scene number: 7
Scene name: Catapulted Away!

We now shifted to dead nighttime back in Patrick's and Stevie's special training area in Patrick's backyard. Patrick was scrunched over, eyeing an empty red soda can standing up on the ground. The variation of the The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme song from The Lion King 1 played as background music. Finally, Patrick charged.


He ran right past the can and then started pacing around it in circles. He then bounced himself up in the air using his head several times, chopping a rock implanted into the ground each time he descended down. On the final time, he struck his fist into the ground, causing a huge pulse in the land. After a few seconds of nothing, the can finally imploded.

We then cut to Stevie, who was holding the boombox that was playing the music. He turned it off.

Stevie: You did it, Patrick! (walks over to him) You crushed a soda can without even touching it! That is somethinng only a true practicer of the martial arts couldever achieve.
Patrick: And me.
Stevie: (bows) You have done well, Patrick-san.
Patrick: Can we go to sleep now?
Stevie: Sleep?! We still need to practice!
Patrick: But it's 11:30 eastern time, and my lantern is going out!

We pan over to see a dimly lit lantern sitting in the corner that was barely even lighting that little area. The flame slowly died out.

Stevie: (grabs Patrick's belly) Then we shall fight in the dark‼ (camera zooms in on Stevie) A true master of the arts knows no rest! We must endure until we have offically achieved...

He then stopped as he turned back to Patrick. The camera cut back out to reveal that Patrick was gone from Stevie's grasp. The camera then panned rightwards, where Patrick's rock is seen in the background. We hear sounds of Patrick snoring.

Stevie: (calling over to Patrick's rock) Fine! Be that way! But I shall stay here and train and I will not stop until my skills have been perfected‼ I'll stay here all night if I have to...

He then immediaely fell to the ground, out like a light, snoring. In front of him, the can popped back out.

*bubble transition*

We now shifted to early morning as the sound of a clam cock-a-doodle-dooing was heard. We pan down to see SpongeBob and Sandy had made it through the Pitch-Black Forest and were now fast asleep in sleeping bags nearby the road, in front of the other end of the forest. Their motorcycle was parked on a big rock. Click here for a map of their location.

As they slept, the bus drove out of the forest and down the raod, waking up SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (waking up) Huh, wha- (gasp) The bus! (starts nudging Sandy) Sandy, wake up! The bus‼
Sandy: (waking up) Huh, wha-
SpongeBob: Sandy! The bus just passed by!
Sandy: (darts wide awake) Sweet jalapno buttonfly! It was so dark in that forest last night, we must've passed it without even noticing!
SpongeBob: What are we gonna do, Sandy?!
Sandy: We gotta get back on our cycle and catch that bus!

They both hopped back to the motorcycle and cahsed the bus through the road and down the hill. Sandy shifted to faster gears as it sped along. The two vehicles started to come up on the Golden Trench.

Bus Driver Gil: (intercom) Attention, passengars, we are coming up on the Golden Trench, named for the bridge that runs across it. (pause) We don't get it either.

The bus started to cross the rusty red bronze-ish bridge. Crumbs fell from the underside of the bridge, suggesting the bridge was weakening under the bus's weight. SpongeBob and Sandy also started to near the bridge.

Sandy: What in tarnation is that?
SpongeBob: That's the Golden Trench.
Sandy: The Golden Trench?
SpongeBob: Yeah. I used to think it was called that because there was gold at the bottom of the trench. But now I know it's actually named for that bridge that goes across it.

Sandy looked at the bridge. More crumbs fell from it.

Sandy: That ain't no golden bridge.
SpongeBob: It was built from bronze years ago. They say it was named for the shine the bronze shone on the time of day it was built. After dozens of years, it's rusted up to a long strip of crud. That, and there's also an urban legend that the people who built the bridge hid real lunks of gold on the underside of the bridge.

They started to get onto the bridge. Sandy slowed the cycle down a bit. As they got on, the bus got off onto the Snospmis Eivom Desert on the other side of the trench.

As they continued, they heard cracks from the bridge.

Sandy: Did y'all hear somethin'?
SpongeBob: Yeah. I did.

More cracks, and the bridge also thumped for a second.

SpongeBob: I've got a bad feeling about this...

Just then, the bridge started to loosen and shake. They were thrown off-guard as the beams started to fall off of the bridge. Then, the bridge broke into pieces as the motrocycle plunged down. SpongeBob and Sandy, who were no longer on the cycle, also started to fall. Luckily, Sand grabbed onto a small ledge on the side of the trench. SpongeBob grabbed onto Sandy's legs. They climbed onto the ledge, where several pieces of the bridge, as well as a couple of beams, had landed. They looked down to see the other pieces and beams of the bridge, as well as their motorcycle, plummeting to the bottom of the trench. They then heard a loud thud.

SpongeBob: Well, there goes our ride.

*bubble transition*

SpongeBob was pacing the floor as Sandy was gathering the pieces of the bridge and tying some of them together.

SpongeBob: We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die...
Sandy: SpongeBob, get a saddle on y'all self! We ain't gonna bite the dust!
SpongeBob: We're gonna DIE‼[sup]1[/sup] Sandy, we're stranded on a ledge of a trench on an uninhabited road with no means of transportation, and all we got with us is some broken pieces of a rusty old bridge! Not a very appetizing last meal! And to make matters worse, the only people who even know we're out here are driving miles away from us at this point!
Sandy: SpongeBob, we're gettin' outta here. Don't worry.
SpongeBob: How?! And besides, even if we do somehow get out, no way we're making it to the competition now.
Sandy: It's finished!
SpongeBob: Huh?

We then look over at Sandy. She has just used the peices of the bridge to make a catapult. A lot of the framework was made from the broken peices of the railing. The actual flinging part was made from one of the beams. The other beam was fashioned into a horizontal stand to keep the catapult up. She also used the rope that had been used to hold the beams up as a string to fling the catapult, and to lower and release the beam.

SpongeBob: What is that?
Sandy: Why, it's a catpult. Here, I'll show y'all how it works.

She picked up a rock on the side of the ledge and placed it on the beam.

Sandy: We just sit on the beam...

She then grabbed and pulled the rope, loweing the beam.

Sandy: Then we lower the beam and...BOOM!

She let go of the rope, flinging the the rock into the air. It landed on the Snospmis Eivom Desert on the other side of the trench.

SpongeBob: Sandy, you're a genius! (hugs Sandy and kisses her on the cheek)
Sandy: (giggles) I know.

They both sat on the beam. Sandy grabbed the rope.

Sandy: Or, as an alternative...

She grabbed some sizzcors and simply cut the rope lowering the beam, flinging them, and the catapult since Sandy was still holding the rope, onto the other side, into the desert.

SpongeBob: (sits on the beam of the catapult) Whew, we made it.
Sandy: Yeah, that was a close one.

She then let go of the rope, unwittingly flinging SpongeBob into the air.

Sandy: SpongeBob‼
SpongeBob: Sandyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

He then flew through the sandy desert air, getting sand in his eyes and on his clothes. He faintly saw the bus as he flew over it.

SpongeBob: Hey look, it's the bus.

Bus Driver Gil noticed SpongeBob as he flew past. Finally, in a parody of the movie Ice Age, SpongeBob slid down a mesa, bumping into it several times, and finally fell to the sand, releasing dust into the air. He spit the sand out from his mouth and rubbed it from his eyes.

SpongeBob: (looking around) Sandy? Sandy?!

All he could see was a seemingly-endless sea of sand and mesas, with a sandstorm blowing.

SpongeBob: (as the camera pans out dramatically) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cut to commerical break*

Next scene name: Twentieth Century Fox is SO Gonna Sue Me for This One!
May not be suitable for: Those who haven't seen The Simpsons Movie. O_o

[sup]1[/sup]Taken from the Drake and Josh episode "Helicopter".

Stinkoman 20X6

I want to get lost in your rock and roll
Sep 22, 2005
Stealing your grill
Scene number: 8
Scene name: Twentieth Century Fox is SO Gonna Sue Me for This One!

We transitioned back to Bikini Bottom as Stevie and Patrick stood on opposite sides. Stevie was holding his boombob as Patrick pulled up his pants and tightened the glove on his head.

Stevie: Begin!

He turned the music on to the "Sabre Dance" song (as heard in The Lion King 1 and the Aussie shampoo commercials) as he tossed five plates to Patrick. Patrick rose intot he air using the Eye of the Tiger and caught all the plates using his hands, the glove on his head, one of his feet, and his belly button. O_o

He then slowly rose back down and then spunt eh plates while balancing them on his hands, head, belly, and foot.

Stevie pressed a button. Five dartboard targets surrounded Patrick. He tossed the plates into the air and kicked an dhcopped them, sending them flying to each target. Each time a plate hit a targetr, the impact destroyed btoh the plate and the target. Eventually, all that was left were little stands and broken pieces of targets and plates.

He then charged, jumped into the air, and came back slamming down a massive Macho Patrick Chop-v (from SpongeBob Who?) into Stevie's boombox, slicing it in half. The Sabre Dance song ended just as Patrick sliced the boombox.

Stevie: (gasp; eyes tearing up) No! My boombox‼ NO! NO! NO! (on knees) You didn't have to go that far‼
Patrick: Sorry. Guess I got into the moment.
Stevie: (gathers up the peices and starts taping them back together; in a baby-ish voice) Don't worry, little sweet'ums! After the Kapoerer Karate Competition, Daddy's gonna put you back together, you'll be good as new! Yes, you will. Yes, you will!
Patrick: Well...(sucks in his chest) I believe that I am physically fit enough to win that trophy and the $10,000 grand prize!
Stevie: Yeah, I, Steve-san, have been practicing intensively as well!
Patrick: What have you been practicing on?

We then cut to Squidward walking out of his bathroom and into his bedroom, wearing a bathrobe and towel.

Squidward: Lah-dah-doo, lah-dah-dee, lah-dah-doo, lah-daaaaaaahhhhhhhh....

We pan out to see his house is literally sliced in half. The other half if lying on the ground. Squidward has walked off the edge of the standing half and thus fell to the ground.

Squidward: (whilst falling) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! AAAHHH!!! AHHH!!!

He landed with a loud thud.

Squidward: Owwwww....

Just then, the standing half fell on top of it, wrecking both halves of the house, turning it into a pile of rubble. A piece of wall fell from the sky.

Squidward: (from underneath the rubble) November?
*cuts back to Stevie and Patrick*
Stevie: Eh, just smashin' some mailboxes. Now, speaking of the competition, I think that our team name should be, "The Zapping Sensation"!
Patrick: Stevie?
Stevie: 'Course, I'd also be happy with "Ski Pals"!
Patrick: (tapping his shoulder) Stevie?
Stevie: Or maybe even..."Fred Flintstone and the Icicle!" Yeah!
Patrick: STEVIE!
Stevie: (turning to him) What?
Patrick: As hard as it is to believe, I just had a thought. The competition starts in four hours and 30 minutes. How are we going to get to Hayashigame Bottom (pronounced incorrectly) in that amount of time?

Stevie dropped his boombox in shock. For several seconds, there was an akward silence.

Stevie: We...could walk.

*bubble transition*

Back at the Snospmis Eivom Desert, SpongeBob laid on the desert sand unconcious. Some time had apparently passed by because the sandstorm was gone, his shirt was a little tatered and severely dusty, and his pants (with the tie still in the pocket) and shoes were gone. A shadow staretd to approach him.

The camera panned out to reveal it was a polar bear. The polar bear roared and started to near SpongeBob's head with his teeth until a voice sounded. A person dressed in a heavy tan parka signaled him to go away.

Polar bear: (storming away; muttering) What am I doing in an underwater desert anyway?

He then kicked away a nearby coyote that resembled Wile E. and had an air helmet on. The person then picked SpongeBob up and started to drag him away.

SpongeBob: (waking up) Huh, wha-

*bubble transition*

We now cut to a small tent made from brown pieces of cloth. Inside, SpongeBob awaoke to see a slim greenish fish woman with orange braided hair and clothes made from brown cloth.

SpongeBob: (gasp) Sand woman!
Sand Woman: Actually, we perfer "people of the sand".
SpongeBob: Oh. Sorry.
Sand Woman: (closeup) SpongeBob SquarePants, do you know why you are here?
SpongeBob: 'Cause I got flung by that catapult and now I'm seperated form Sandy.
Sand Woman: Sandy? We have plenty of that otuside.

SpongeBob sat up and looked out the window. She was referring to the desert sand.

SpongeBob: (lying back down) Oh, it's sandy, but it's not the kind of Sandy I want. It doesn't matter anyway. The only reason I got into this whole mess of events was because I can't 'fend for myself. I was just relying on her and her superior karate skills anyway. I'd rather be out parodying animated PG-13 films.
Sand Woman: (hands him a bowl of boiling yellow liquid) Drink this.

SpongeBob took a small sip and then sat up, brlowing a cloud of orange smoke.

SpongeBob: AAAAHHHHH!!!! (breathes heavily then lies back down) More, please.

He took another sip and then wafted his nsoe as the Sand Woman started to speak. It was in this shot that her exceptionally large buttocks were revealed.

Sand Woman: We will not cleanse your spirit with the ancient art of throat singing.
SpongeBob: (standing up) Throat singing?

The Sand Woman also sat up and began. SpongeBob, oblivious, started making sounds with his throat as well. He stopped for a second.

SpongeBob: How long are we doing this?
Sand Woman: Until you have an epiphany.
SpongeBob: Okay.

They continued, but SpongeBob stopped again and tapped her shoulder.

SpongeBob: What's an epiphany?
Sand Woman: Sudden realization of great truth.
SpongeBob: Okay.

They continued, and after a while, SpongeBob's head started to inflate until it blew up, and SpongeBob pictured himself back in the living room with Patrick, Stevie, and Sandy. His clothes were no longer dusty and his pants, shoes, and tie were now back on.

SpongeBob: (sits down with them) Aaah.

However, the image was risen up as SpongeBob started to fall through his mind.


Choral voices:
Spider-Pants, Spider-Pants,
Does whatever a frozen pair of pants does!

He finally landed on an icy ground as several totem poles started to rise, him sitting on top of one of them.

(voices echoing each other)
Here comes Spider-Pants

Patrick, Stevie, and Sandy were revealed to be standing on the other totem poles. The one he was sitting on now had the Sand Woman's face on it.

Sand Woman totem: Unless you have an epiphany, you will spend the remainder of your days...alone.

She then blew a gust of wind that transitioned SpongeBob to a snowfy field completely surrounded by coral trees.

SpongeBob: Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany...Ooh! No one likes the smell of Grandma's pajamas!

One of the tree branches slapped him in the face.

SpongeBob: Toaster + Tongue = Pain?

Several tree branches slapped him, and then four of them picked him up.

SpongeBob: It's hard to milk a hippie named Maurice?

He then slapped twice and then kicked in the groin. Finally, the tree branches pulled apart his eyes, mouth, head, shirt and tie (and upper half of his body), pants (and lower half), and his arms and legs.

SpongeBob: Hey, what are you doing?!

The branches then helped up his eyes and mouth as his other body parts started to melt.

SpongeBob: Aw, do what you want to me. I'm useless.

His eyes and mouth were placed back onto his head, which was then held up by one of the branches.

Sand Woman's voice: And why do you think that?
SpongeBob: (gasp) Becuase I didn't have enough confidence in myself, and if I have no self-esteem, I'm nothing.

One of the branches motioned for him to continue.

SpongeBob: In order to save myself, find Sandy, and get myself out of this situation...(gasp)...I have to do it all on my own! That's it! (pause) Isn't it?

The orchastrated version of the Simpsons theme song from The Simpsons Movie played as SpongeBob was re-assembled and then lowered back down. All the coral trees clapped and cheered.

The scene then melded back into SpongeBob and the Sand Woman throat-singing. His shirt was dusty and tattered again, and his pants, tie, and shoes were still missing. The Sand Woman was now on top of him. :P

SpongeBob: (shoving the Sand Woman aside) That was the most amazing expierience of my life! (standing up) I shall rely on only myself to get out of this mess and make it to Hayashigame Bottom! (hugs the Sand Woman) Thank you, Butt Woman!

He then ran out of the tent.

Sand Woman: Why do they always think I work for free?

SpongeBob ran outside laughing joyfully until he smacked into a mesa. A pan-out revealed that the tent was mesa-locked. A small circular seemingly never-ending mesa surrounded the tent. Behind the tent was a shorter and flatter mesa where the rest of the Sand Village was.

He ran back into the tent as the Sand Womanw as eating a bowl of nemotoads.

SpongeBob: You didn't tell me there was a giant mesa in the way!

The Sand Woman then tossed him some keys.

Sand Woman: Here's the keys to my wrecking ball machine.

SpongeBob stared for a brief second. We then cut to him advancing the wrecking ball machine towards the mesa. He then pulled the switch and swung the wrecking ball. It then ended in a paordy of this clip (the second half of it).

Sand Woman: Hm, I was sure I got that rusty chain checked.

SpongeBob climbed out from underneath the wrecking ball. He now had bruises all over him, twisted eyelashes, his lip was now bleeding, and his clothes were even more tattered and now had holes in them. One of his buck teeth fwll out.

SpongeBob: (dazed) I'm okay...I'm okay...That didn't work either...

He then noticed the Sand Woman, who raised an eyebrow at him.

SpongeBob: (gasp) The epiphany! I can't conquer this wall by using a wrekcing ball, or parodying The Simpsons Movie... NO! I have to use my physical and mental know-how to get out of this imprisionment!

He also noticed the Village of the Sand People, where the other Sand People were, on a short and flat mesa behind the Sand Woman's tent.

SpongeBob: That's it!

He ran into the village, shoving aside various blue-skinned Sand People and climbed the Totem Pole at the center of the village. He then jumped off of it and towards the mesa. The climatic moment of the Good/Bad/Ugly Lion King 1 song played as SpongeBob started to spin and whilr until he began a tiny shirling tornao, which started to smash through the emsa, in slow-mo. :P

He was now using his movie in the Toss n' Whirl that he had messed up on several times throughout the movie, to drill through the mesa...in slow-mo. :coolio:

We then zoom out to show SpongeBob and Stevie are watching the movie on their TV in the living room. Stevie was holding down the "slow-mo" button on the remote.

SpongeBob: Stevie, what are you doing?
Stevie: I'm playing it in "slow-mo". It makes everything look more...actiony.
SpongeBob: Give me that!

He grabbed the remote from Stevie and pressed the play button. The scene resumed to normal speed.

Once SpongeBob had finished, the mesa now had a huge gap in it. SpongeBob could see the road in the distance. He ran through the gap and toward the road laughing manically. The Sand Woman showed a small smile.

SpongeBob ran out onto the road laughing until he got hit by the bus. Bus Driver Gil, all the passengars, and Sandy (who had somehow gotton back into the bus) all looked up at SpongeBob, who was now squished against the window, in shock.

Sandy: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (dazed) Hi, Sandy. (slips onto the frontside of the bus) Ohhhhhh....


Next scene name: Race to the Starting Line!
Will probably be added: Friday, February 1st.

Stinkoman 20X6

I want to get lost in your rock and roll
Sep 22, 2005
Stealing your grill
Scene number: 9
Scene name: Mexican Hot Rod!

We now cut to Stevie and Patrick (not seen from camera view) sitting on Patrick's rock. Sevie was banging his head on Patrick's cable attena repeatedly.

Stevie: I simply can't believe this. We spent a day and a half practicing, we spent a total of $19.95 on all that karate gear...and we have no way of getting there in an hour and a half. You're right, Patrick. I should've thought this through more.

The camera cut out to reveal Patrick was lying asleep on the rock.

Stevie: The only way we could even hope to get there now is by hot...rod. (starts nudging Patrick) Patrick! Patrick, wake up!
Patrick: (waking up) Huh, wha- Is Hilary Clinton the President yet?
Stevie: No, not yet, but I just had an epiphany of how we can get to the competition in time!
Patrick: What's an epiphany?
Stevie: Read the previous scene if you really wanna know.
Patrick: Okay.

He grabbed the edge of the screen and was about to flip it onto the previous scene, until Stevie stopped him.

Stevie: Do it later. Follow me.

They both walked to the end of Patrick's driveway.

Stevie: This is a little trick Producer Randy showed me.

He then pulled out a megaphone and handed it to Patrick.

Stevie: Here, hold this for me.

Patrick grabbed the megaphone. Stevie then tied a rubber band to it. He pulled the other end of the band over on top of Patrick's rock. He then tied it onto the cable attena.

Stevie: Ready, Patrick?
Patrick: Ready!
Stevie: (chopping off attena) WHUPPAH!

The band immediately snapepd back, lodging the attena into the megaphone. The impact of the rubber band also sliced off half of the megaphone.

Stevie: Now exhale into it.

Patrick inhaled.

Stevie: I said exhale! EXHALE!

Patrick exhaled, causing the megaphone to garble out a loud noise.

Patrick: (hitting his ear) Well, that was pleasant.

Just then, a black Mexican hot rod drove up, playing the La Cucaracha horn. Basically, it was a Mexican hot rod version of the van from Atlantis Squarepantis, right down to having flames painted on the side of it.

Patrick: Whoa. The Mexican hot rod.
Stevie: Well, hop in, buddy.

Patrick got into the hot rod with Stevie. Stevie then started the hot rod and immediately floored it. The hot rod drove backwards...just a few inches.

Stevie: We're here!
Patrick: Hayashuh-shuh-bottom? We're there already?
Stevie: (turns Patrick's head) No, here!

Stevie had stopped in front of the Bikini Bottom Cable Car Station.

Stevie: The Bikini Bottom Cable Car Station!

The camera zoomed out to reveal that the station was directly across the street from the houses.

Patrick: How long has that been there?!

*bubble transition*

Patrick and Stevie entered the building. Patrick looked around as they walked through the lobby and over to the lady in front of the drop-off. The lifts were all mechanized windowed cable cars suspended on little wires that conected to gears that ran through a cable.

Lady: Hello, welcome to the Bikini Bottom Cable Car Station! Would you like to ride one of our cable cars?
Stevie: Yeah we do, Clara.
Patrick: You know her?
Stevie: No, it's on her nametag.

Indeed, the camera got a closeup on her nametag, which read "Clara".

Clara: That'll be $15 each.

Stevie and Patrick both checked their pockets. Patrick flipped his pockets inside out whilst Stevie sifted thorugh his pockets. After a brief pause, with Patrick realizing they probably don't even have $30, he knocked Clara out, just as Stevie was getting out his wallet. :P

Stevie: (turns around) Do you take change...for...a fifty?

Stevie glared at Patrick.

Patrick: Sorry.
Stevie: Uhhh...

A lift arrived at the drop-off. Stevie and Patrick immediately opened the door and ran inside as it descended out and stated to wheel over Bikini Bottom. After a few seconds, Patrick noticed how slow the lift was going.

Patrick: Oh, this thing is dead slow! Go faster! FASTER!
Stevie: Patrick, this is a state-of-the-art cable car system! What could possibly be going any faster then this baby?

Patrick pointed out the window, where Gary the Snail was slithering past them down below on the road.

Gary the Snail: Meow.
Stevie: (yelling out the window) You're not helping the cause, snail!
Patrick: That's it! I'm turning this hunk of metal into a hot jack racer!
Stevie: Hot jack racer, what the heck...

Patrick then grabbed the speed lever (not the gear shift).

Stevie: Patrick, no! Wait...

Patrick slammed it from "Slow and Steady" to "Whoa Momma", causing the cable car to suddenly blast off at super speed. This music looped throughout the rest of the scene. Stevie lowered the speed lever down to "Jane, Stop This Crazy Thing". The lift was now whizzing through the Dunes of Hazzard, side-swiping several sandy dunes.

Patrick and Stevie: *screaming*

The bodygaurd from the Punk Hut was leaning against the sign in the front sipping a soda. He noticed Patrick and Stevie and watched them as their cable car zoomed by. It now started to near the Pitch-Black Forest.

Stevie: The Pitch-Black Forest! (starts pushing random buttons) Oh! There's gotta be lights in this cable car somewhere!

The car descended into the darkness of the forest. Stevie wasn't noticing that the little buttons were casting rather bright lights, lighting up the whole lift.

Stevie: (still pressing buttons) Lights, lights, lights...
Patrick: Um, Stevie?
Stevie: Not now, Patrick! Can't you see I'm trying to cast light into this deader-then-dim car?!

Eventually, the car descended out of the forest.

Stevie: Oh yay, we're out of the forest.
Patrick: *shivering*
Stevie: What's the matter with you?

Patrick pointed out the front window. The car was nearing the Golden Trench, which was now bridge-less.

Patrick: That's an awfully deep trench...
Stevie: Patrick, we are not gonna fall down that trench.

His panicking started to loosen the part that was connecting the car to the mechanism on the cable.

Stevie: (shaking Patrick) Listen here, you! All your base are belong to me! So, your life is in my hands!
Stevie: (shaking Patrick intensively) STOP DOUBTING ME!!!!

Eventually, the part loosened so much that it snapped off, and they plummeted down to the depths of the trench.

Patrick and Stevie: *both screaming*

They landed on SpongeBob's and Sandy's motorcycle at the bottom of the trench, which then in turn, drove them up the side of the trench and then drove up into the air. The lift fell and then landed on Sandy's catapult, still sitting on the other side of the trench.

Patrick: (phews) Well, at least that's all over.

Stevie looked down at the rope holding the beam together. It was starting to untwindle.

Stevie: I don't think so, Tim[sup]1[/sup].
Patrick: Huh?

The rope then snapped, sending the lift flying until it re-attached to the mechanism on the cable. The two of them both phewed as the cable car rode through the Snospmis Eivom Desert. The mechanism had slowed down after the two parts snapped.

Patrick: We're slower then snails again.
Stevie: What makes you say that?

Patrick pointed out the window. Polar Bear, Squidward's snail, was slithering past them down below on the desert road.

Polar Bear: Meow.
Stevie: (yelling out the window) What are you doing all the way out here anyway, Pollen Bean!
Patrick: Must...resist...urge...to speed up car...not resisting...well...GERRRAHHHH!!!!!

He immediately slammed the lever to "Slow Down, Jeff Gordon" causing the cable car to go super-fast again. Pat and Stevie both screamed.

The Sand Woman from the previous scene was hanging up some underwear (tighty-whities) on a clothesline. She then turned to the cable car, which was smashing through the mesa SpongeBob smashed through earlier.

Sand Woman: (humphs) Lousy Canadians. (yelling to them) I will bill your HMO‼

By the time the cable car finished smashing the mesa, the bottom of the lift was dent up and the windows were cracked at the bottom.

Patrick: This is a heck of an eventure[sup]2[/sup].

In the distance, they could see the bus, which was now driving up to the Desert Gate.

Stevie: Look, there's the bus!

The gatekeeper, Froggy, turned the crank that opened up the door as the bus passed through.

Froggy: Whoo, lunchtime!

He jumped onto the ground and started eating a small rock on the ground.

Froggy: (as one of his teeth falls out) This is so worth 29 cents an hour.

Stevie: (looking ahead; gasp) Look out, Patrick! (ducks under the console)
Patrick: Huh?

The lift then smacked into a tall red coral tree.

Patrick: Owwww....

The bus and the lift both passed by a sign saying, "CORAL HILL". The lift continued to smack through coral trees as they passed.

We cut to SpongeBob and Sandy sitting in the back seat of the bus. SpongeBob was playing his Fintendo SB Darrk again as Sandy was wearing headphones and listening to Rihanna's "Umbrella" on her iBob. Thus, neither of them were able to hear Patrick's and Stevie's screams of pain in the background.

After both the lift and the bus passed through Coral Hill, the lift was now beaten up to a piece of crud. The windows were now completely broken, the console had broken off, and the frame had dented severely. Patrick and Stevie were now crowded in the little space left in what used to be the lift.

The bus now started to near Iceland, a long lake frozen witht hick ice. A sign read, "ICELAND -- IF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THE COUNTRY, GO TO EUROPE".

Bus Driver Gil: (over the intercom) Attention, passengars. We are now going across Iceland, a huge lake that, because of pollution abnormalities, stays frozen all year long.
Sandy: (to SpongeBob) How can there be a frozen lake underwater?
SpongeBob: (shrugs) Beats me.

Stevie looked down at Iceland as the lift started to go over it.

Stevie: That's it!

He climbed up the wire, pulled out SpongeBob's Bass Scout Swiss Army Knife, and started using it as a screwdriver to unscrew the nails on the mechanism.

Patrick: Wh-what are you doing?!
Stevie: (grabbing onto the rope) This!

He then pulled on the rope, snapping off the part once again. The lift then collided into the lake, smashing the icy layer. Ice everywhere started to crack. Gil noticed the ice weakening around the bus, but he shrugged it off. No one else o the bus payed any attention to the deteriorating lake.

Stevie climed onto the ice as Patrick squeezed out of the lift.

Stevie: Patrick, look! The bus! We can still make it!

But Patrick sturggled and was stuck in the ice.

Stevie: (gasp) Patrick!

He turned back to help Patrick, who was starting to sink with the ice.

Patrick: Go on without me! Save yourself!
Stevie: (shrugs) Okay.

He continued to run towards the bus as Patrick squeezed himself out of the ice. Ice cracked all around Stevie. He ignroed it as he inserted some wheels into his shoes, whichw ere actually Heelys. He slided on the ice.

Stevie: (to the viewers) Betcha didn't know these shoes were Heelys, huh?

Meanwhile, Patrick was climbing a huge slab of ice. As he climbed, the slab started to act as a see-saw, causing the lift, which had collided into the bottom of the slab, to start rolling down the slab.

Patrick: (noticing the lift rolling towards him) *starts screaming*

As the lift rolled into him, we cut back to Stevie, whom was getting close to the bus.

Stevie: I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!

Just as he was about to grab onto the bus's hold, the ice split in two, seperating Stevie from the bus.

Stevie: No! No! So close! SO CLOSE!

Then, the ice underneath him started to crack.

Stevie: Uh oh.

We then sank into the lake. The bus drove off of the lake just as the ice underneath the road sank into the lake. Patrick and Stevie both emerged from the water.

Patrick: Now how are we gonna get to that Hayayshuh-buh-blah place?

Stevie then noticed the vine arch known as the Great Vine, which the bus passed through.

Stevie: I'll tell ya how!

We then cut to Patrick running towards the vine, holding Stevie in one hand. He then grabbed a loose vine and swung into the air, flying towards the bus.

Patrick: *Tarzan yell*

Then, they smacked into the walls above the Long Tunnel, before falling onto the back entrance to the bus, which descended into the dark tunnel. Bus Driver Gil flipped on the lights inside the bus.

Stevie attempted to open the emergency door.

Stevie: (reading a sign on the back window) "WARNING: Emergency door only opens from inside of bus".

They then noticed SpongeBob and Sandy sitting in the back seat. They started pounding on the windows and shouting for them to open the door. SpongeBob and Sandy were now both listening to "Umbrella" on Sandy's iBob via the earpiece method.

SpongeBob: Wow, you were right. This song does kinda grow on you after a while.

Stevie and Patrick stopped pounding.

Patrick: They can't hear us!
Stevie: Then we'll have to make them notice us! Come on!

He started to climb underneath the bus. Patrick, confisedly, followed him. They got to the front of the bus as it exited the Long Tunnel. Now all that sperated the bus from Hayashigame Bottom was a short road.

Stevie climbed onto the frontside of the bus, angering Bus Driver Gil. He honked his horn loudly at them. They ignored him and climbed onto the roof of the bus.

Stevie: Nothing can stop us from reaching Hayashigame now!
Patrick: Yay! This season's gonna end on a high note!

Gil pressed a button labled, "ROOF EJECT". The roof sproinged into the air, flinging Patrick and Stevie through the skies of Hayashigame Bottom, just as the bus was entering. Hayshigame was completely made up of Japanese-like buildings and gardens.

Patrick and Stevie: *hugging each other and both screaming*

They both crashed through a shop labled, "Hayshigame Surf Shop". They then crashed through the other side, now on a shell board. They descended down a long hill, as did the bus.

In their way was a small restaurant named, "The Twisted Tail".

Patrick: Twisted tail!

Their shell board rolled up the side of the restaurant and bounced off the twisted pig tail on the sign. Next was a small dome with dozens of huge plastic eyes surrounding half of the top of the dome. It was labled, "Playground of a Thousand Eyes".

Stevie: A thousand eyes!

The board again rolled up the dome and rolled through the eyes and down the side of the dome as the kids inside watched.

Patrick and Stevie: (rolling over the eyes) Whoa-whoa-whao-whoa-whoa!

The last thing standing in their way was a billboard advertizing a milkshake, which was being held by a random guy fish. It read, "Become TRAPPED FOREVER in one of our delicious milkshakes!"

Patrick and Stevie: Epa! EPA!

The board crashed through the billboard and finally landed on a trampoline, flinging into the air until they slammed into a dome. A pullout from the camera revealed the dome was overlooking the Sawamular Stadium, where the competition was taking place.

Patrick: Okay, what's with the dome?
Stevie: Duh! This is what they do in movies.
Patrick: So how do we get in?
Stevie: Same way they do in the movies.
Patrick: Jet pack?
Stevie: No...(pulls out a tube of super glue) Super Glue.
Patrick: Ohhhhhhhh.

They both squirted glue onto their hands and started to climb the dome with their hands.

Patrick: Look, I'm Spider-Pat! ♪Spider-Pat, Spider-Pat, does whatever a...
Stevie: Please, Patrick. Everyone's sick of that song.

They then reached the top. Stevie twisted off a cap that read "Cargill Domes" and dropepd it through the hole.

Stevie: Patrick, you're not scared of heights, are you?
Patrick: No. Why?
Stevie: Because of this!

He grabbed Patrick and then dropped him into the hole.

Stevie: Well, here goes everything.

He then jumped in as well.

Patrick and Stevie: *both screaming*

They started crashing through the bleachers as the camera cut outside the stadium.

Patrick and Stevie: (scremaing simultaniously) "Whoa!" "This is worse then dinner theatre!" "The British are coming, the British are coming!" "More pain then Home Improvement!" "Down, horsey! Down!" "My life's flashing before my liver!"

The bus then entered through the main entrance of the stadium as music started to play.

Next scene name: Signing Up!
Will probably be added: Wednesday, February 6th.

[sup]1[/sup]A little tribute to one of my favorite shows, Home Improvement.
[sup]2[/sup]Tribute to Steve-a-Go-Go. :D
Feb 28, 2006
That was one of the funniest scenes in the fanfic, if not the funniest. Love when they fell in the hole.

Stinkoman 20X6

I want to get lost in your rock and roll
Sep 22, 2005
Stealing your grill
It's amazing how so few scenes I've made for a TV movie fic.

Scene number: 10
Scene name: Signing Up!
Song in this scene: "The Fruits of Victory" by Ken Darry

We are now looking at a televised capture of the event, complete with a "TV 14 V" rating at the top left and a "News Channel 13" bug and "LIVE" symbol at the bottom. The time was displayed on the lowr-right. "2:00 PM." A marquee also scrolled by, reading:

"Meteor TU24 misses Earth. The TattleTale Strangler assures that 'there was never anything to worry about'."
"Miss Tuffsy, Sudowoodo Tristin's pet pug, dies of kidney failure. Older brother Douglas-Z offers his sympathy by inserting news into his fic."
"Smitty Werben Man Jensen and bookworm get in a heated argument. Are bookworm's posts really worth four Wii games?"
"Twin sisters bookworm and bookgirl accused of sending annyoing PM's. PhillipB and Douglas-Z threaten to sue."

Ken Darry: Hellooooooo, everybody! I'm Kenneth Patrick Darryl, although most of you know me simply as Ken Darry, 5-time Academite Award winner for "Best Male Singer Fish". But today, I'm here at the Sawamular Stadium in beautifully sunny Hayashigame Bottom where I'm hosting this year's Kapoerer Karate Competition!

The camera now panned through the crowds in the bleachers, all cheering, as Ken Darry continued.

Ken Darry: Yes, sir, we're looking at the 96[sup]th[/sup] annual, and there couldn't be better weather for such an event! Unfortunately, Sugimori Bottom, the home of Ebiwalar Stadium where we usually hold our competition, isn't expieriencing the same amount of luck, after being struck by Whirlpool Homer.

We then cut to Sugimori Bottom,
which was in a similar state as Springfield in The Simpsons Movie when the town got devastated being under the dome
. The front sign was a bit faded and broken. The damaged Ebiwalar Stadium wcould be seen in the background.

We see a helicopter using four cable wires to lift a building that was knocked over during the whirlpool. A supervisor was instructing him.

Supervisor: You're good...You're good...

Just then, two of the cable wires snapped, causing the bulding to fall and crash back onto the ground.

Supervisor: AWW, DANG IT!

*cuts back to telvevised competition*

Ken Darry: But in just a few minutes, the pre-game ceremonies'll be starting, so keep your gills on!

The camera then zoomed into the reception offices, where the same recptionist lady from the beginning of Behind the Scenes with SpongeBob and Friends, albeit with reading glasses, was sitting at her desk signing papers. Patrick and Stevie ran over.

Stevie: We'd like to sign up for the karate competition, please!
Patrick: My name's Patrick!
Recptionist: (lowering her reading glasses) I'm sorry, gentlemen, but once it's 2:00 and the pre-game ceremonies are ready to take place, all further entries are denied. See these legal papers I'm signing? They're all documents depicting each participant in the competition. You boys really should've signed up at the nearest Rec Center ahead of time.
Stevie: Can't you just make one exception? (flashes big baby eyes) Please?
*Stevie nudges Patrick*
Patrick: (joining in on the eyes) Pwease?
Receptionist: That trick doesn't work with me. And besides, I can only make an exception if you have some sort of offical authority.
Stevie: Oh, um, we...do. We're in the...Tomato Bottom Army. I'm...General Steven Misst, and, uh...he's Colonel Patrick Tuffsyn!
Patrick: (turning to him) Tuffsyn?
Receptionist: Um...Yeah, I'm finding that hard to believe.
Patrick: Why?
Receptionist: Well, for starters, that ridiculous last name, and plus, you two aren't even wearing uniforms or any other form of identification.
Stevie: Uh...yeah. (pause; points) Look! A chipmunk!
Receptionist: (turns around) Where?

While she was distracted, Stevie and Patrick donned military uniforms. Once she turned around, Patrick blew a whistle.

Patrick: (stern miliatary tone) What's this you said about our uniforms, private?!
Receptionist: Um...uh...sorry, Tuffsyn?
Patrick: (blows whistle) That's Colonel Tuffsyn to you, soldier! Now stand up!

The recptionist immediately stood straight.

Patrick: Now, I want you to jog ten laps in the stadium, and I want to real sweat, real tears, and real blood! Have I made myself clear, private?!
Receptionist: Sir yes sir!

She then ran off.

Stevie: Go! Go! Go! Go! (to Patrick) That was an excellent impresion, Patrick!
Patrick: Thanks. My parents sent me to military school when I was younger, and we always liked to imitate the colonel. (blows whistle again; stern miliatary tone) Now, start forgering our names on that sign-up sheet, private‼
Stevie: Sir yes sir!

He then immediately wrote "Patrick Star" and "Stevie the Jellyfish" on the sign-up sheet on the desk.

Patrick: (normal voice) Hm, "Colonel Patrick Tuffsyn". That actually has a good ring to it. (pause) Who am I kidding? Tuffsyn's a dumb name.

We then cut to the parking garage, where everyone started getting off.

Bus Driver Gil: That's right, everybody off. Come on, I gota a soap opera to watch here.

Once SpongeBob and Sandy got off, Gil closed the door and set the gear shift to R.

Bus Driver Gil: Idiots.

He then drove off as SpongeBob and Sandy started walking down the hall. SpongeBob's clothes were still beaten-up from the other scene and he still had a few bruises.

SpongeBob: So, how'd you get back on the bus?
Sandy: Well, after ah kinda flung y'all, I took to desert on meh lonesome and came across a traveling sand man who offered to help me catch up to the bus by driving me via seahorse carriage, and eventually, I caught up to the bus, which had stopped at a stop sign on the road, and then that snotty bus driver let me back on the bus...reluctantly.
SpongeBob: So, a Sand Man helped you?
Sandy: Well, actually, he explained that they perfer to be called "People-"
SpongeBob: "People of the Sand".
Sandy: How'd y'all know that?
SpongeBob: It's a long painful story.
Sandy: Does it explain how y'all got roughed-up like that?
SpongeBob: Kinda.

*bubble transition*

A man walked in front of a waiting giant yellow shell-like stage that was calmped shut at the moment.

Man: Ladies and gentlefish, we'd like to start off the pre-game ceremonies with this year's host, Ken Darry, whom will be performing his hit song "The Fruits of Victory"!

The crowd cheered as the man walked away and the shell opened up, revealing Ken Darry, as well as several female backup singers in sequined white dresses behind him. The backup singers "aaaaaaaaahed" as he sang the first few stanzas.

Ken Darry:
When the battle has been won,
A feeling emerges over the victorious warriors,
A song in their hearts, a melody in their minds,
A feeling of victory, that brings joy to many alike,
The feeling that is known as,
The fruits of victory

In a time when the world is topsy-turvy,
It is the sweet feeling of victory that ligfts us all off our feet,
And gently carries us to the Winners' Podium,
A moment to be treausred, a moment to be cherished,
The moment that is known as...

(with backup singers) The fruits of victory!

The music started to hype up, as the backup singers all sang a prolonged choir note similar to that from Shrek 2.

Ken Darry: (singing louder; popping up in random places throughout the bleachers)
The fruits of victory, Can only be felt by one,
One man that emrges from the great and the heftyyyyyyyy-yyy-yyyyyy

(jumps back onto the shell stage)
It is that one man that must put his strengths to the test,
Only his physical and mental strengths can rise him through the ranks,
Until he takes a whiff of the sweet smell of victoryyyyyyyy-yyy-yyyyyy

(singing in a deeper rock star-like voice)
It's only if he rises through the ranks,
That he comes out victorious,
And he tastes the fruits of victoryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, YEAH BABY!

The audience all clapped, cheered, whistled, and threw flowers down the stage as Ken Darry bowed on the shell stage, which was wheeled away.

SpongeBob had listened to the song while standing in the entrance to the locker room. He walked back inside, where Sandy was unpacking her green karate gear (as seen in Karate Choppers and No Weenies Allowed) from her shag-furred gym bag.

SpongeBob: He's good. No wonder he took home that Otto for "Best Male Singer Fish" five years in a row.

Sandy put on her green karate boots, a part of her gear not seen in the show, but created by me.

Sandy: Are y'all ready?

SpongeBob put on his red karate helmet.

SpongeBob: Sandy, when it comes to (strikes a karate pose) KAY-RAH-TAE, I am always ready. (striking more poses) So, have you found out who our competition is yet?
Sandy: (as she's tying on her green haeadband) Not yet, but they're gonna be bringing out the competition soon anehway. Like it matters, though. We ain't gonna lose to these varmints.
SpongeBob: (puts on his gloves) You're right! I bet everyone else are just little wimpy baby doodie-heads!

We immediately cut to Patrick and Stevie, who's putting on his sparring helmet.

Patrick: *whimpering and doing the Potty Dance*
Stevie: Patrick, stop being a little wimpy baby doodie-head.
Patrick: But I gotta pee‼ (stops) And plus, I'm nervous! Our competition is fierce and tough and they probably have had years of advanced karate training, and we're only novists!
Stevie: HEY! (slaps Patrick repeatedly with his orange karate glove) I don't ever want to hear that word come out of your mouth again!
Patrick: What, novists?
Stevie: STOP IT! (slaps him with the glove again) Now listen to me! (puts on his orange karate gloves) If we put our 1 heads together, we can win this thing and take home the trohpy and the $10,000 grand prize!
Patrick: Wow, you know, up to this point, I didn't even know I had half a head.

*bubble transition*

We now see a brass symphony finishing up an insturmental version of "Now That We're Men". Ken Darry walked onto the field as they walked away, carrying their instruments.

Ken Darry: Alright, let's give a big round of applause to the Big Brass Bottom Symphony!

The crowd gave big cheers.

Ken Darry: And now, for our final trick before we actually start the event, we're gonna bring out all of our contestants!

The crowd cheered.

Ken Darry: As we do every year, we will be having pairs of two contestants fighting side-by-side! Sheet, please.

The recptionist lady, exhausted from her laps, walked over tiredly and handed him the sheet.

Ken Darry: And now, introducing the first duo, all the way from Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob SquarePants and Sandy Cheeks, "The Kay-Rah-Tae Choppers"!

SpongeBob and Sandy walked out as the audience cheered.

Ken Darry: And, our returning champion duo from last year, "Back on the Street", Roger Brat and Larry Jay!

Roger Brat and Larry Jay stepped out as big applause commenced. Roger Brat was punk-like character with a blue mohawk. Larry Jay was short, fat, yet very mean-looking.

Ken Darry: And, our unique 10-person army, "The Amazing Men of Steel"!

Nine identical men stepped up and formed a pyramid, obviously missing one man. He sprinted over and climbed a ladder to get to the top and complete the pyramid.

We then go through a montage of Ken Darry introducing various duos before finally concluding introducing the duo of Larry and Scooter, "Rad Surferz".

Ken Darry: And now, our final duo of the competition, a last-minute entry, the duo of Patrick Star and Stevie the Jellyfish, "Fred Flinstone's Ski Sensation"!

Flowers were throven to Stevie and Patrick as they stepped out. Patrick wore his rubber gloves. Stevie wroe his sparring helmet and oversized orange karate gloves like SpongeBob's.

Stevie: I love my people.

SpongeBob's and Sandy's jaws dropped.

SpongeBob and Sandy: PATRICK AND STEVIE?!!?

SpongeBob's jaw snapped off.

Ken Darry: The competition begins in ten minutes, so once again, keep those gills on! (walks away)

SpongeBob walked over to Patrick and Stevie.

SpongeBob: What are you guys doing all the way out here?
Sandy: (walking over) Don't tell me y'all 're entering this dang competition too!
Stevie: No way, we're just here for the Hayashigame Salami Toss OF COURSE W'ER ENETERING THE COMPETITION TOO‼
Patrick: We're here for the Salami Toss?
SpongeBob: But why? You guys don't know a lick o' kay-rah-tae!
Stevie: Think again, NaiveBob ObliviousPants! While you and Sandy were off sleeping through Desert Road, Patrick and I were practing karate ourselves!
Patrick: Yeah, and we're gonna win that trophy and the $10,000!
Sandy: Oh yeah?!
Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: Well, we're gonna beat you punks!
Patrick: Let's see about that, Bob!
Stevie: (comes between them) People, people! We shall settle this with kay-rah-tae!
SpongeBob: (turns his back on Patrick) Fine!
Patrick: (turns his back on SpongeBob) Fine!


Next scene name: Let the Event Begin!
Will probably be added: Sunday, January 10[sup]th[/sup].

Stinkoman 20X6

I want to get lost in your rock and roll
Sep 22, 2005
Stealing your grill
Scene number: 11
Scene name: Let the Event Begin!

*big music, again we see the news marquees and stuff*

"The TattleTale Strangler promises vengance at Douglas-Z for being Douglas-Z's 2nd favorite member. Douglas-Z scoffs at such a thing."
"Smitty Werben Man Jensen has been discovered to be the Devil after being spotted bearing a beastly "6,666" posts. SWMJ has no comments at the time."
"Douglas-Z outnumbers Mothra by 2[sup]nd[/sup] highest sount count in the Shoutbox. Now, Douglas-Z is second only to Smitty Werben Man Jensen."
"SpOnGeFaN818 returns from being suspended from his computer for almost a week. Fan author Douglas-Z is overjoyed."

Ken Darry: The moment you've been waiting for is finally here, ladies and gentlemen! We are getting ready to start the Kapoerer Karate Competition! As we do every year, we shall start off the event by having the long-living mayor and founder of Hayashigame Bottom, Fredderick Hayashi, cut the royal red ribbon!

We then see a small royal red ribbon set on the field. Fredderick Hayshi was a blue lime-colored fish, and was meditating, thus levitating off the floor. His eyes were closed.

Fredderick Hayashi: Nuka-nuka-nuka-artu-choka. Nuka-nuka-nuka-shoopa-woopa. Nuka-nuka-nuka-nuka-nuka...NAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

The ribbon instantly split in two.

Fredderick Hayashi: Let the games begin!

Frederick Hayshi gently went back to the ground and walked away as the crowd cheered.

Ken Darry: Roll out the scoreboard, Chet!

We see a board of all the ranking teams like you see in many major competitions on a giant screen.

Ken Darry: There will be 26 competing teams, a major step-up from last year's 19. In addition, 9 of these 60 participants are returning participants from last year's event! And now, it's time for the first two teams to brawl! For our first round, it's "The Kay-Rah-Tae Choppers"!
Co-Announcer Chet Darring: That's right, Ken. SpongeBob SquarePants and Sandy Cheeks have both competed in this event sperately for over 2 years. This year is the first time they're actually competing together as a duo. In fact, last I heard, they've even started dating now!
Ken Darry: Well, talk about an odd couple. Their opponents, "Me and Ol' Besty". Old Man Jenkins and...his truck.

We see Old Man Jenkins in his Friend or Foe? form, standing next to a baby blue truck that was missing its wheels.

Chet Darring: According to my sources, he only entered so he could get out of working on the farm. Ken, are automobiles even eligable to participate?
Ken Darry: You learn something new every day, Chet. You really do.
Old Man Jenkins: That's right! I've been studying carrot-TIE longer then you has-beens have! Give me your all! (coughs out a tooth) Let's have at it! (bites a cable wire, thus electrocuding himself) No holding back! (rips off his outfit revealing his chest hair and briefs)

He then took his hat off and strained, causing a tiny hair to sprout from his liver spot.

Chet Darring: Um...let the round begin?

Ken Darry banged a gong.

Old Man Jenkins: (flailing his fists around) Come on! Fight, you cowards! (starts coughing and gasping)
SpongeBob: So, what's our strategy?
Sandy: (starts walking towards Old Man Jenkins) Ah got this.

She walked over to him.

Old Man Jenkins: You want trouble now, little lady? 'Cause I'm gonna give you a heapin' pound of...

Sandy then chopped his head, IMMEDIATELY knocking him out. :P

The bell sounded.

Ken Darry: And the first round is over in only eleven seconds! With just one move, Old Man Jenkins is down for the count!

Doctors arrived and lifted Jenkins into a stretcher.

Jenkins: (as he's being carried away to an ambulance) I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flyin' machines!

Ken Darry and Chet Darring were both clapping.

Chet Darring: Ken, they just set the time record! (Ken stares at him) Not that...I'm counting or anything.
Ken Darry: How you're always the co-announcer every year is beyond me. But you've certainly got one straight! Give these guys an extra $100 if they win the money!

People cheered and threw roses down to SpongeBob and Sandy. Sandy sniffed one and then turned to SpongeBob. They both blushed.

We then go to a montage of various teams fighting against each other.


Ken Darry: (on the field) And now, ladies and gentlemen, our final fight before the second round! Fred Flintstone's Ski Pals vs. The Amazing Men of Steel!

The Amazing Men of Steel formed a standing pyramid. Then, the guy at the top fell off. Patrick and Stevie were now wearing their karate gear. SpongeBob and Sandy were watching from the dugout, along with the other teams that were still in the event.

Sandy: Y'all really think them karate's good enough to take out that 10-fish army?
SpongeBob: Guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Patrick: (to Stevie) What's our plan?
Stevie: I'll tell you what our plan is, we're just gonna wing it!
Patrick: You mean, we're gonna turn into birds?
Stevie: No! We're gonna improvise, make it up as we go along.

Chet Darring: Let the round begin.

Ken Darry sounded the gong. Patrick and Stevie immediately ran towards the pyramid men.

One of the men: Uh-oh! A charge attack!
A man on the bottom: No worries! We'll just send a counter charge attack! Go, my brothers! Go!

The clumsy man at the top had just climbed up again when they charged, causing him to fall off again. Just then, Patrick slipped on a banana peel on the field and started to roll towards them. He then impacted them in the exact same style as a bowling ball hitting 10 pens. Bowling sounds were even heard during the impact.

Stevie: (as his gloves fly off) Strike!

The Men of Steel all laid unconcious on the floor. We then panned to the left to reveal patrick had crashed into the wall.

SpongeBob: Their style is quite unique, I'll give 'em that.
Sandy: That ain't even karate!
Stevie: So, do we win?

Ken and Chet turned to each other.

Chet: I gues the winners are...
Voice: Hang on a second!

The clumsy member of the pyramid, stood up.

Clumsy member: You have to defeat all ten of us to advance to the next round!
Ken Darry: (through the mic) That is indeed true.
Stevie: (to Patrick, who walked back over) Eh, what's the harm? It's just that clumsy guy now.

The clumsy member ripped off his jumpsuit revealing a karate robe and a black belt. He struck some quick karate poses, and then beckoned to them.

Stevie: For a guy who keeps falling off the pyramid, he sure knows his karate poses!
Patrick: He's going down, starfish-style!

He charged towards the clumsy guy. The guy however just simply grabbed his foot and flipped him to the ground.

Patrick: Owwwwwww...he twisted my stubby ankle!

Stevie walked over, tapped his shoulder, and pointed in a random direction.

Stevie: Look, it's your long-lost 11th brother!
Clumsy Guy: Jerry?

Stevie then immediately socked him in the face, knocking him unconcious.


Ken Darry: And Stevie the Jellyfish wipes out the sharpest...
Chet Darring: ...and clumsiest.
Ken Darry: ...member of the Amazing Men in one blow to the face!
Chet Darring: I've gotta say, that kid's got quite a punch.

Patrick: (getting up and turning to Stevie) Wow, Stevie, I didn't even know you had it in you.
Stevie: To tell the turth, neither did I. I just winged it.
Patrick: To tell the turth myself, I didn't actually you had anything in you...except gas.
*Stevie farts*
Stevie: Yeeaaahhh.
Sandy: (to SpongeBob) Ah must say, Stevie there's got quite the guns.
SpongeBob: Who knew?

Ken Darry: (over a pan of the modified scoreboard) And now, ladies and gentlemen, the remaining 13 teams will be advancing to Round 2, and then the semi-finals, and then the last 2 teams shall move on to the championship brawl!

The crowd cheered as the screen went to black.

*commercial break*