#8
Season: 5
Episode: 92
Premiere: November 12, 2007
Oh god... this will take awhile.
The GordoktheMad upset, probably the last one.
Believe it or not, this is the last season 5 episode on the list. The rest are seasons 6-7, which are my two least favorite seasons.
So, Patchy wants to get to Encino (Wow do I spell this?) badly, but traffic seems to stop him. When he finally gets through, he finds out Encino is gone. Really, Patchy segments aren't to good. Even in the pre-film era, they weren't that funny.
So, we finally open up, and we expect something awesome. Yeah, that's not happening.
Spongebob and Patrick start blowing bubbles and trying to take pictures of them. Unfortunately, the bubble pops before the picture is taken. They make a song about it.
Really, that's probably the worst part about the special. The songs. Why? Well...
1: None of them are necessary. All of them serve no purpose.
2. Every major event is made into one.
3: All of them suck.
We know, writers, everything must come to an end. Christmas Day not staying? You can say hello to it again 364 days later.
Spongebob and Patrick float into a cave, and find some weird coin. They decide to take it into the museum.
Here's were things are stupid: All 5 of the main characters are just put here. No creative premise. No conflict. Just putting them there. Writers, that just makes the episode unnecessarily boring.
They all say the coin is an amulet. Uh, no, that is a madalian (How do I spell this?).
"The amulet of Atlantis?"
No, it's a madalian. So, it turns out that if you join the two halves together, it will open up a path to Atlantis.
It also just so happens that Atlantis holds their favorite things: Science for Sandy, Money for Mr. Krabs, Art for Squidward, and the world's oldest living bubble for the two morons (in this time of SB). We need a conflict. Don't just shoot this crap in our faces. It's stupidly uncreative, as well. They do, and the Van of Atlantis drops out of the sky. Oh, Van of Atlantis? I'm sorry, I meant Van of Bland Animation. Literally, the CGI in the van looks so stupid and cheesy. Plus, the characters legit look like they're pasted to the storyboard.
They run out of fuel, and have to get to a gas station. And guess what? It doesn't have a fuel tank. Instead, we have a fuel called "song". I agree with Mr. Krabs that it is utterly ridiculous. So, we sing a song. You know when I said the songs were not necessary? Yep, this song is about the characters singing about their favorite things.
Thank you, Joker, for that sarcastic clap. I'm not even joking, this song sings "Mr. Krabs loves money, Sandy loves science, Squidward loves art, SB and Pat love bubbles, and Plankton loves destr-" wait... Plankton? Another uncreative premise. They just randomly throw him in. No conflict or premise. Just laziness due to the writers.
They run out of lyrics (just sing random words, morons) and crash into the gardens of Atlantis. Wow, my iPhone is more lost than this thing.
So, they arrive... OK, this is weird. Remember Neptune's Spatula? That was a cool Atlantian city. This city, on the other hand, looks more like a space collecium. It looks bland. And boring. So, we get introduced to Lord Royal Highness. What about King Neptune? Oh, and LRH looks like... I don't know, what am I supposed to say? Wow. Oh, and RLH seems to be the only character who doesn't sing. Even if the song was worthless, you would be able to hear David Bowie sing. No, I'm not joking. RLH is voiced by David Bowie, and he's the only character that doesn't sing.
Take it away, man:
<----- My face while watching this. No, this is not what I look like.
So, we get to the Atlantis building, and we go to a vault of money. Predictability sets in when Mr. Krabs starts going over and stashing his pockets with money, singing a song about how much he loves money. Yeah, that hasn't appeared since HELP FREAKING WANTED!!!!
Every major event into a song... Wow...
So, we lose Mr. K, and it seems like this episode rips off Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Later, we get to a science-y lab, were we see more bland CGI sculptures. It looks stupid. We go into some video game were we see gross out. NOT A VILLAIN. So, Sandy sings a song while fighting the germs. See what I said? Every major- OK, I'll stop.
We lose Sandy, and Plankton sings a song HALF A MINUTE AFTER SANDY'S about how much he loves destruction. Plankton! proved this, we don't need a song about it.
We move on to this art place, which, predictable, has Squidward singing a song. This song was not necessary, it was just to fill time. We all know Squidward loves art. We don't need five hundred songs about that.
So, we finally see the oldest living bubble, and LRH explains about how it is one million years old, because they took it back to it away from their home planet billions of lightyears. Nonsense. Also, the bubble is one MILLION years old for being taken through BILLIONs of lightyears through space.
So, Spongebob and Patrick take a picture, and the bubble pops AFTER the camera goes off.
So, we cut to dinner, where we see SB and Pat spill the beans. It turns out it was a prop and he shows off the real bubble. Of course, Patrick pops it with his camera.
Um, Patrick, remember when you were smart? Then again, this is seasons 4-7 were talking about. That era is garbage.
So, we have a lame fight scene. The... whatever the hell they are... don't pose any threat. Plus Sandy is the only character not used as a prop.
So, we see Plankton about to attack with a tank.
But we gotta find out what Patchy's doing. So, he's hallucinating. And then we see Spongeb-
what the ::dolphin noise:: is that? It looks freaking messed up. Patchy has a song, which is stupid... and bla bla bla...
So, it turns out the tank shoots ice cream, not death. Hey, they showed this scene in a promo, so I'm not that pissed off about it.
So, we go hope on another crappy song about going back home. NOT NECESSARY!
So, Patchy finds out that Encino was shrunk by... I don't know what to call them, maybe turd look aliens? I don't know.
So, Encino goes back to normal... except Potty is huge now... you forgot to shrink him...
What a dumb episode, it's bland, worthless... wow.
Least favorite character- The aliens at the end
Least favorite moment- All of the songs
Least favorite quote- "We Atlantieans find the use of fossil fuels to be counter-intuitive, and have developed an alternate source called song.The engine of this vessel is fueled by song, the more you sing of your desires, the closer to Atlantis you will get. Let us commence singing." -Robot
#7
Season: 7
Episode: 128b
Premiere: July 19, 2009
Wow.. Why does this episode exist?
In this episode, Spongebob gets stuck in his wringer. Stuck. Patrick causes SB to get stuck more. What an idiot.
SB tries to go to work, and we get a scene where Spongebob SQUIRTS MUSTARD IN SQUIDWARD'S EYES AND CAUSE THEM TO FALL OFF ONTO THE KRABBY PATTY. Man, that's gross.
So, SB gets kicked out, and we get to go to a carnival. Poor SB can barely do anything, and Patrick doesn't seem to care.
So SB chews him out. It seems fine, until the townspeople act dumb, and it makes me want to murder the townspeople. Then again, any episode were they appear, I'll murder em.
So, SB is stuck, until Patrick comes and tries to help. FINALLY YOU HELP. After this, SB cries and causes the Forever Glue to go away. It's FOREVER Glue, it should stay there!
So, we get the stupid ending. Don't make me discuss it.
Least favorite character- Sandles
Least favorite moment- Squidward's eyes
Least favorite quote- A tie between "You deserved what you've got." and "I guess crying does solve your problems after all."
EDIT: Can't believe it took me an hour to type this.
