This idea has been in my mind since I joined SBC. It finally took me until now to make it. Wumbo also inspired me to make this with his One Time Appearance story on The Drifter. So this goes out to him. Read at your own risk. :p
Plot: The Drifter and *name* live in *and address withheld* where they carry out orders to go on day to day life, drifting as you may call it.
Episode one: Do the Sponge
After finishing up with the rough guys at the Salty's Spitoon, the Drifter was charged with all the people he injured or possibly killed there. He sighed and laughed to himself that this was the third time this week he was charged with similar offenses. In the Bikini Bottom court house, he the least concerned about the matter than anyone there. The jury and audience all seemed to root for him none of the less. The women loved him and the men wanted to be him.
The Drifter often didn't talk much so when Judge Stickleback asked for his side, he simply said..
The Drifter: Well it was self defense. Anyone would have done the same if they were tormented by their appearances.
Judge Stickleback: Do you realize you nearly took of one of the guy's heads off with your *she looks at her notes* comb is it?
The Drifter: Yeah, would have got him too if my urges to comb my hair weren't greater.
Judge Stickleback like many other women who caught a wink from him, instantly feel in love with his bad boy charm. The judge and the jury then spontaneous agreed it was self defense and let him off with a warning. He asked if he could go now and was given permission. The Drifter put his glove hands inside his baby seal leather jacket and casually walked to the exit. All of a sudden, a bunch of the thug victims from the incident got up. They head butted the police and security out cold. About five of them got in the way of The Drifter now.
Thug with a broken arm: Now where the hell do you think you're goin' Elvis?
Thug in a wheelchair: Ya didn' honestly think ya could get away with screwin' up the guys at the Spitoon.
Before the Judge could call for back up, The Drifter told her he had this.
The Drifter mocking them: Don't jew think it would be more properer to do dis outside the court? After allses, dis is a very honorable and sacred buildin' of our gov'ernment.
The six injured thugs let out a roar of laughs and came in for the kill.
They tried to knock him out with punches, but realized he was made of some sort of Spongey material that blocked their blows. He cracked his knuckles and simply put his hands by his side. As the thugs tried again, he whopped a hit right in the already broken nose of one of the guys. The impact of the punch sent the guy all the way across the other the courtroom and he crashed into a wall which now had a pretty big sized hole in where he fell.
The Drifter: How tough are ya?
The others tried the same technique, but ended up with the same fate.
The Drifter: Technique? Technique! Technique!
After this charade finally ended, The Drifter strolled over to the Judge. He handed up an extra pair of sunglasses from his jacket pocket saying that they're with a pretty penny and would cost for all these damages done.
And with that, he went back to his quiet self and The Drifter had left the building. The press who were leaning up against the doors, flooded The Drifter with questions as he made his way out.
Perch Perkins: Channel 6 live, Mr. Drifter how did the case go?
The Drifter: ...
The Drifter only talked when he felt it was needed, so he wouldn't reply to anyone there.
Perch Perkins: Please if I can only have a minute-
The Drifter: .....
Old Man Jenkins: Hey you, I saw you on TV last night! Will you sign my cannon?
The Drifter smiled at the simple mindedness of the old fellow and wrote his name on the cannon.
Old Man Jenkins: See you later Bran Flakes! What a nice cereal box. :)
Perch Perkins: Hey Drifter, can we have an autograph from you to?
The Drifter: ....
Perch Perkins: Fine then! *he throws down his microphone* The case of the vanished princess is more important at the moment away.
The Drifter slid on the hood of his boatmobile and jumped into the driver's seat. He floored it, escaping from the rest of the paparazzi in the dust. He wasn't a one for big commotion or crowds, especially for something as stupid as just getting in a fight.
The Drifter now did what he does best. Drifting from town to town, city to city in a oh so cool and laid back style. He drove his Underwater Heartbreaker, the topless 1965 model red Ferrari boatmobile across the long stretch of highways going nowhere but wherever his heart leads him. Even the roughest of the roads theirselves couldn't penetrate the thick, layers of hair products contained in his vibrant black hairstyle. The sun gleamed on his the silver rims of his wheels and bounced off his black sunglasses. He started to think again of that old man and how simple minded yet kind he was. The Drifter was tired of being around people who either wanted to beat the crap out of him or wanted nothing but to awe over his charm. He needed something else and before he knew it he would get it.
One day The Drifter after consuming a burger and shake from a retro styled diner, he was about ready to drift out of the area. But one of the waitresses wondered what a guy like him was doing in such a run down town as New Kelp City. As always with curious strangers, the Drifter would say his infamous line that he was a drifter, just blew into town and heard about the place here. The Drifter had a habit of pinpointing places that interested him, therefore that reason. About five or so other waitresses working there started to flirt with him around the bar he was sitting at. Yet he tried to tell the little ladies that his heart belonged to the road. That is, until he saw a female sponge walk in with a pink, sparkly colored box come inside the doors. Her hair was brunette, had a bow in it and bounced as she skipped merrily. She was clothed in a purple pinup dress, with a white apron on top, the ones you would find in a bakery. She was wearing roller skates for a reason too. She skated by, passing by The Drifter with a trail of fruits, raspberry and strawberry smelling perfume. That wasn't the only thing that was fruity. She spoke in a heavy valley girl accent, yet each syllable she uttered was with excitement when talking to a waitress cuddling The Drifter's left arm. The young female sponge looked kind of confused at these waitresses.
???: Hi, I'm here to like drop off your daily baked goods from the Krusty Kakes.
Waitress: Uh, oh yeah sure just sent them down there.
???: Okay, well have a super-tastic day and enjoy the goodies! Weeee!
She takes off on her roller skates but she goes too fast and lands into the booth of a family. The father, Tom Smith had caught her right before she landed in their potato salad.
?? : Heh, sorry about that sir. Loved your meal choice tho. But I'd try the strawberry milkshake next time instead of chocolate. It's super sweet, yet tangy indulgence like always makes me feel 100% good inside and out!
Another waitress: Damn, nearly single day she does this same thing. Lovable in a way but a klutz.
The girl gets up and brushes off her apron.
Tom Smith: You know, I haven't gone one meal in a decade without chocolate, nor would I usually do so. But the way you make it out to be, plus I haven't been able to get my check for twenty minutes because of those waitresses over there fawning over that guy, I think I'll try one. Would you like one too? I'd be happy to pay. If you're on break that is.
???: Really and yeah I am. You just like made my day! *v*
Isabelle Smith: Can I have one too daddy?
Tom Smith: NO. I mean, Isabelle you already have a potato salad.
Isabelle Smith: you have a milkshake yourself! Why do you need two?
Tom eyes get bloodshot and his hands start to cringe and shake.
Tom: BECAUSE.
???: Uh heh... don't worry I don't mind paying like for her milkshake. Besides, I just ate before I came here too! One of our bakeries chocolate chipped muffins.
Tom looks like he was about to come unglued.
Tom: GRRRRAAHHHH- okay. :)
The female sponge gets up to order three strawberry milkshakes at the bar. While The Drifter manages to finally escape the women. He casually as always, walks and sits down a seat away.
???: Yeah can I like, um order three strawberry milkshakes? Thanks.
The Drifter: Yo.
The girl looks around at the Drifter and pulls out a stop watch. She hands it to him.
???: Oh hey, can you hold this for like a second?
The Drifter: Uh, sure?
???: Thanks I'm trying to calculate how many spins can I do in a revolving bar stool before I reach thirty seconds. I was just like, thinking to myself. If I ever have a delivery and somehow the car spins out of control, would to not like be so dizzy and be able to take control again quickly?
The Drifter: and you just thought of this?
???: Nawh, I was looking at your fudge hairdo and thought like, that dude probably would be able to hold a time watch if his hair looks that spinny like a revolving bar stool.
The Drifter usually isn't a one for chit chat, actually he never heard someone babble this much ever. But there was a certain charm in how this girl clearly believed in every unusual statement in her world.
???: So what's your name?
The Drifter: I'm a drifter, or The Drifter as strangers call me often. uh yours?
???: Well The Drifter, my name is Girly TeenGirl.
The Drifter: Girly TeenGirl? What kind of name is that?
Girly TeenGirl: Well what kind of name is "The Drifter"?
The Drifter: Touché.. So you look pretty young, how old are you?
Girly TeenGirl: 17, but I turn 18 tomorrow.
The Drifter: Guess you'll have to be called Lady AdultGirl? Right? Haha.
Girly TeenGirl: Uh sure... So will you time me?
The Drifter: Okay.
He does just so and after thirty seconds he stops it.
Girly TeenGirl: 25 spins, not bad.
Her eyes are spinning all around as he gives her back the stopwatch.
The Drifter: Are your eyes suppose to-? Uh never mind..
Bartender: Here's your drinks!
She picks up all three and is about to rollerskate back Tom and family's table.
Girly TeenGirl: See ya like later Mr. Drifter!
The Drifter: Hey Girly, you wanna sit here and drink that?
Girly TeenGirl: I guess I could like do so.
She sits down again and drinks up her milkshake, making bubbles as she does so.
Girly TeenGirl: Hooray, bubble party!
Everyone in the diner suddenly runs away or hides inside the diner. The Drifter and Girly TeenGirl are the only ones left. The diner doors slam open suddenly as a group of leather jacket guys stroll in as they snap their fingers.
The leader: Okay you can stop with the snapping now... I SAID SHUT UP.
They all stop and walk behind Girly.
The leader: I better stop blowing those if I was you..
Girly TeenGirl: Why? I blow bubbles in my drinks all the time back in Farawayville, Drifter.
The Drifter: I wasn't the one who said that Girly.
She turns around and sees the leader of the group scowling at her.
Girly TeenGirl: Hey, I didn't know like you brought your friends Drifter. It's surprising how many people wear black leather jackets in the 2000's!
The leader: We're not this mousse addict's friend. We're the Bubble Poppin' Boys.
Girly TeenGirl: But don't you like all use mousse...?
The leader: Listen here pinky, we heard you were blowin' bubbles in our city.
Girly TeenGirl: You heard I was? Man does word get around fast here or what? Haha.
The leader: Will you shut up?
He grabs her up by her pink hair bow, causing the Drifter to get up as well.
The Drifter: You know child abuse is quite highly illegal around this county.
The leader: Child?
Girly TeenGirl: Haha well like technically yes, but tomorrow I'm 18 and-
Everyone looks at her.
Girly TeenGirl: Yeah, I'll be quiet.
One of the Bubble Poppin' Boys turns his attention to The Drifter.
BP Boy: And who the hell are you?
The Drifter: Who the hell are you?
BP Boy: I asked first mousse head.
The Drifter: The Drifter, just blew into town. Heard your group was pretty "tough".
The leader: Oh you better believe we are tough.
Girly TeenGirl: Actually I think The Drifter was like being sarcastic there...
The leader: You say another word pinky and I'll turn you purple like your pretty little dress.
Girly TeenGirl: Oh I love purp-
The leader tries to choke her spongey neck, but The Drifter swiftly intervenes and nails him on the jaw, knocking him out cold on checkered patterned ground. The leader let's go of his grip on Girly and she lands back onto her bar stool.
Girly TeenGirl: Oooh a fight scene!
The other Bubble Poppin' Boys corner Drifter and try to come at him with all their might. Drifter dodges by sliding underneath between their legs. One of them grabs Drifter's leg, but Drifter nails the guy with a bar stool he picks up.
Girly TeenGirl: Hey Drifter, is there anything I can do to like help?
The Drifter is still striking the guy with the bar stool.
The Drifter: Actually some tunes would be nice. Go find the sponge's theme song on that jukebox.
Girly TeenGirl: Aye aye sir!
While he's elbowing three guys in the face, Girly goes over to it and presses her face up to the glass to find it.
Girly TeenGirl: Here it is, and it's the dance remix.
Song: All right you inverte-brats, I'm going to teach you how to do The Sponge.
The Drifter: Hey Girly, have you ever done The Sponge?
Girly TeenGirl: It's been a while Drifter.
The Drifter: I'll have to show it to you then.
Song: Well first you take your leg and you stick it in the air.
He propels his leg up and it injures a guy in the stomach.
Song: And then you take your other one and jam it right up there!
Drifter puts his other leg up, kicking one of them in the groin.
The leader finally wakes up from being unconscious and sneaks up behind Girly.
The Drifter: Girly!
Girly: No don't help me out, I think I like remember the next verse! I think I got it!
Song:
You twist yourself around.
She faces the opposite direction and sees him about to pounce.
Song: And give a big lunge!
As tries to grab her by the shoulders, she leaps, over his hands. She then remembers the stopwatch in her pocket.
The leader: What are you going to do with that? Ha.
Girly propels it hard at his face, causing him to get a black eye and once again fall down.
Song: And now you're doing the sponge!
The guy springs back up and Girly slowly walks towards the bar stand as he runs towards her. She grabs the pink box of hot sticky buns from the bakery and dumps all of them on the floor. It causes him to slip up and be stuck to the floor.
Song: Bet your buns now you're doing the sponge!
The lyrics repeat as the Drifter finally knocks out all the Bubble Poppin' Boys and the song ends. He picks out a comb from a pocket of one of the unconscious bodies.
The Drifter: Would you believe one of those a-holes broke mind while I was fighting? The nerve of those guys and their current broken eyeballs.
All of the people from the diner originally come back and praise the two.
Owner: We just heard you saved the diner from the Bubble Poppin' Boys, we can't thank you enough!
Girly: You heard. Once again word gets around here fast.
The Drifter takes his seat back on the bar stool, he dusts off his jacket before slouching back.
Girly: Holy cookie crumbles, where did you learn all those moves from?
The Drifter: I'm The Drifter babe, I don't learn moves, I create them.
Girly: Well I thought it was like sweeter than a candy cane that you rescued me like that.
The Drifter: Really?
Girly: Like totes dude! We could use someone like you as security at our bakery.
The Drifter: As nice as that sounds, I'm more of a drifter than a bouncer. In fact, it's about time I leave this place before the cops get on my tailfin again about stiff bod-
Girly looks at him puzzled.
The Drifter: I mean unconscious attackers.
Drifter gets up to say goodbye as the waitresses sigh over him once more.
Girly: Well we'll all like really miss you. Especially me, you're pretty cool. Wait! You can't leave! I just remembered. My birthday is tomorrow. Please won't you just stay until then? Pllllease?
The Drifter looks around, and then at lovely Girly.
The Drifter: Alright, but not for a day longer.
Girly TeenGirl: Yay!
The Drifter: Well I don't really have anywhere to stay over night.
Girly TeenGirl: That's okay, you can stay with me and my family tonight in Farawayville.
The Drifter: Alrighty then.
But The Drifter would stay much longer than a day at their residence. About six months later, him and Girly got into a relationship and a year later, they got married. Fast forward two more years, and this is where the story has really begun.
Plot: The Drifter and *name* live in *and address withheld* where they carry out orders to go on day to day life, drifting as you may call it.
Episode one: Do the Sponge
After finishing up with the rough guys at the Salty's Spitoon, the Drifter was charged with all the people he injured or possibly killed there. He sighed and laughed to himself that this was the third time this week he was charged with similar offenses. In the Bikini Bottom court house, he the least concerned about the matter than anyone there. The jury and audience all seemed to root for him none of the less. The women loved him and the men wanted to be him.
The Drifter often didn't talk much so when Judge Stickleback asked for his side, he simply said..
The Drifter: Well it was self defense. Anyone would have done the same if they were tormented by their appearances.
Judge Stickleback: Do you realize you nearly took of one of the guy's heads off with your *she looks at her notes* comb is it?
The Drifter: Yeah, would have got him too if my urges to comb my hair weren't greater.
Judge Stickleback like many other women who caught a wink from him, instantly feel in love with his bad boy charm. The judge and the jury then spontaneous agreed it was self defense and let him off with a warning. He asked if he could go now and was given permission. The Drifter put his glove hands inside his baby seal leather jacket and casually walked to the exit. All of a sudden, a bunch of the thug victims from the incident got up. They head butted the police and security out cold. About five of them got in the way of The Drifter now.
Thug with a broken arm: Now where the hell do you think you're goin' Elvis?
Thug in a wheelchair: Ya didn' honestly think ya could get away with screwin' up the guys at the Spitoon.
Before the Judge could call for back up, The Drifter told her he had this.
The Drifter mocking them: Don't jew think it would be more properer to do dis outside the court? After allses, dis is a very honorable and sacred buildin' of our gov'ernment.
The six injured thugs let out a roar of laughs and came in for the kill.
They tried to knock him out with punches, but realized he was made of some sort of Spongey material that blocked their blows. He cracked his knuckles and simply put his hands by his side. As the thugs tried again, he whopped a hit right in the already broken nose of one of the guys. The impact of the punch sent the guy all the way across the other the courtroom and he crashed into a wall which now had a pretty big sized hole in where he fell.
The Drifter: How tough are ya?
The others tried the same technique, but ended up with the same fate.
The Drifter: Technique? Technique! Technique!
After this charade finally ended, The Drifter strolled over to the Judge. He handed up an extra pair of sunglasses from his jacket pocket saying that they're with a pretty penny and would cost for all these damages done.
And with that, he went back to his quiet self and The Drifter had left the building. The press who were leaning up against the doors, flooded The Drifter with questions as he made his way out.
Perch Perkins: Channel 6 live, Mr. Drifter how did the case go?
The Drifter: ...
The Drifter only talked when he felt it was needed, so he wouldn't reply to anyone there.
Perch Perkins: Please if I can only have a minute-
The Drifter: .....
Old Man Jenkins: Hey you, I saw you on TV last night! Will you sign my cannon?
The Drifter smiled at the simple mindedness of the old fellow and wrote his name on the cannon.
Old Man Jenkins: See you later Bran Flakes! What a nice cereal box. :)
Perch Perkins: Hey Drifter, can we have an autograph from you to?
The Drifter: ....
Perch Perkins: Fine then! *he throws down his microphone* The case of the vanished princess is more important at the moment away.
The Drifter slid on the hood of his boatmobile and jumped into the driver's seat. He floored it, escaping from the rest of the paparazzi in the dust. He wasn't a one for big commotion or crowds, especially for something as stupid as just getting in a fight.
The Drifter now did what he does best. Drifting from town to town, city to city in a oh so cool and laid back style. He drove his Underwater Heartbreaker, the topless 1965 model red Ferrari boatmobile across the long stretch of highways going nowhere but wherever his heart leads him. Even the roughest of the roads theirselves couldn't penetrate the thick, layers of hair products contained in his vibrant black hairstyle. The sun gleamed on his the silver rims of his wheels and bounced off his black sunglasses. He started to think again of that old man and how simple minded yet kind he was. The Drifter was tired of being around people who either wanted to beat the crap out of him or wanted nothing but to awe over his charm. He needed something else and before he knew it he would get it.
One day The Drifter after consuming a burger and shake from a retro styled diner, he was about ready to drift out of the area. But one of the waitresses wondered what a guy like him was doing in such a run down town as New Kelp City. As always with curious strangers, the Drifter would say his infamous line that he was a drifter, just blew into town and heard about the place here. The Drifter had a habit of pinpointing places that interested him, therefore that reason. About five or so other waitresses working there started to flirt with him around the bar he was sitting at. Yet he tried to tell the little ladies that his heart belonged to the road. That is, until he saw a female sponge walk in with a pink, sparkly colored box come inside the doors. Her hair was brunette, had a bow in it and bounced as she skipped merrily. She was clothed in a purple pinup dress, with a white apron on top, the ones you would find in a bakery. She was wearing roller skates for a reason too. She skated by, passing by The Drifter with a trail of fruits, raspberry and strawberry smelling perfume. That wasn't the only thing that was fruity. She spoke in a heavy valley girl accent, yet each syllable she uttered was with excitement when talking to a waitress cuddling The Drifter's left arm. The young female sponge looked kind of confused at these waitresses.
???: Hi, I'm here to like drop off your daily baked goods from the Krusty Kakes.
Waitress: Uh, oh yeah sure just sent them down there.
???: Okay, well have a super-tastic day and enjoy the goodies! Weeee!
She takes off on her roller skates but she goes too fast and lands into the booth of a family. The father, Tom Smith had caught her right before she landed in their potato salad.
?? : Heh, sorry about that sir. Loved your meal choice tho. But I'd try the strawberry milkshake next time instead of chocolate. It's super sweet, yet tangy indulgence like always makes me feel 100% good inside and out!
Another waitress: Damn, nearly single day she does this same thing. Lovable in a way but a klutz.
The girl gets up and brushes off her apron.
Tom Smith: You know, I haven't gone one meal in a decade without chocolate, nor would I usually do so. But the way you make it out to be, plus I haven't been able to get my check for twenty minutes because of those waitresses over there fawning over that guy, I think I'll try one. Would you like one too? I'd be happy to pay. If you're on break that is.
???: Really and yeah I am. You just like made my day! *v*
Isabelle Smith: Can I have one too daddy?
Tom Smith: NO. I mean, Isabelle you already have a potato salad.
Isabelle Smith: you have a milkshake yourself! Why do you need two?
Tom eyes get bloodshot and his hands start to cringe and shake.
Tom: BECAUSE.
???: Uh heh... don't worry I don't mind paying like for her milkshake. Besides, I just ate before I came here too! One of our bakeries chocolate chipped muffins.
Tom looks like he was about to come unglued.
Tom: GRRRRAAHHHH- okay. :)
The female sponge gets up to order three strawberry milkshakes at the bar. While The Drifter manages to finally escape the women. He casually as always, walks and sits down a seat away.
???: Yeah can I like, um order three strawberry milkshakes? Thanks.
The Drifter: Yo.
The girl looks around at the Drifter and pulls out a stop watch. She hands it to him.
???: Oh hey, can you hold this for like a second?
The Drifter: Uh, sure?
???: Thanks I'm trying to calculate how many spins can I do in a revolving bar stool before I reach thirty seconds. I was just like, thinking to myself. If I ever have a delivery and somehow the car spins out of control, would to not like be so dizzy and be able to take control again quickly?
The Drifter: and you just thought of this?
???: Nawh, I was looking at your fudge hairdo and thought like, that dude probably would be able to hold a time watch if his hair looks that spinny like a revolving bar stool.
The Drifter usually isn't a one for chit chat, actually he never heard someone babble this much ever. But there was a certain charm in how this girl clearly believed in every unusual statement in her world.
???: So what's your name?
The Drifter: I'm a drifter, or The Drifter as strangers call me often. uh yours?
???: Well The Drifter, my name is Girly TeenGirl.
The Drifter: Girly TeenGirl? What kind of name is that?
Girly TeenGirl: Well what kind of name is "The Drifter"?
The Drifter: Touché.. So you look pretty young, how old are you?
Girly TeenGirl: 17, but I turn 18 tomorrow.
The Drifter: Guess you'll have to be called Lady AdultGirl? Right? Haha.
Girly TeenGirl: Uh sure... So will you time me?
The Drifter: Okay.
He does just so and after thirty seconds he stops it.
Girly TeenGirl: 25 spins, not bad.
Her eyes are spinning all around as he gives her back the stopwatch.
The Drifter: Are your eyes suppose to-? Uh never mind..
Bartender: Here's your drinks!
She picks up all three and is about to rollerskate back Tom and family's table.
Girly TeenGirl: See ya like later Mr. Drifter!
The Drifter: Hey Girly, you wanna sit here and drink that?
Girly TeenGirl: I guess I could like do so.
She sits down again and drinks up her milkshake, making bubbles as she does so.
Girly TeenGirl: Hooray, bubble party!
Everyone in the diner suddenly runs away or hides inside the diner. The Drifter and Girly TeenGirl are the only ones left. The diner doors slam open suddenly as a group of leather jacket guys stroll in as they snap their fingers.
The leader: Okay you can stop with the snapping now... I SAID SHUT UP.
They all stop and walk behind Girly.
The leader: I better stop blowing those if I was you..
Girly TeenGirl: Why? I blow bubbles in my drinks all the time back in Farawayville, Drifter.
The Drifter: I wasn't the one who said that Girly.
She turns around and sees the leader of the group scowling at her.
Girly TeenGirl: Hey, I didn't know like you brought your friends Drifter. It's surprising how many people wear black leather jackets in the 2000's!
The leader: We're not this mousse addict's friend. We're the Bubble Poppin' Boys.
Girly TeenGirl: But don't you like all use mousse...?
The leader: Listen here pinky, we heard you were blowin' bubbles in our city.
Girly TeenGirl: You heard I was? Man does word get around fast here or what? Haha.
The leader: Will you shut up?
He grabs her up by her pink hair bow, causing the Drifter to get up as well.
The Drifter: You know child abuse is quite highly illegal around this county.
The leader: Child?
Girly TeenGirl: Haha well like technically yes, but tomorrow I'm 18 and-
Everyone looks at her.
Girly TeenGirl: Yeah, I'll be quiet.
One of the Bubble Poppin' Boys turns his attention to The Drifter.
BP Boy: And who the hell are you?
The Drifter: Who the hell are you?
BP Boy: I asked first mousse head.
The Drifter: The Drifter, just blew into town. Heard your group was pretty "tough".
The leader: Oh you better believe we are tough.
Girly TeenGirl: Actually I think The Drifter was like being sarcastic there...
The leader: You say another word pinky and I'll turn you purple like your pretty little dress.
Girly TeenGirl: Oh I love purp-
The leader tries to choke her spongey neck, but The Drifter swiftly intervenes and nails him on the jaw, knocking him out cold on checkered patterned ground. The leader let's go of his grip on Girly and she lands back onto her bar stool.
Girly TeenGirl: Oooh a fight scene!
The other Bubble Poppin' Boys corner Drifter and try to come at him with all their might. Drifter dodges by sliding underneath between their legs. One of them grabs Drifter's leg, but Drifter nails the guy with a bar stool he picks up.
Girly TeenGirl: Hey Drifter, is there anything I can do to like help?
The Drifter is still striking the guy with the bar stool.
The Drifter: Actually some tunes would be nice. Go find the sponge's theme song on that jukebox.
Girly TeenGirl: Aye aye sir!
While he's elbowing three guys in the face, Girly goes over to it and presses her face up to the glass to find it.
Girly TeenGirl: Here it is, and it's the dance remix.
Song: All right you inverte-brats, I'm going to teach you how to do The Sponge.
The Drifter: Hey Girly, have you ever done The Sponge?
Girly TeenGirl: It's been a while Drifter.
The Drifter: I'll have to show it to you then.
Song: Well first you take your leg and you stick it in the air.
He propels his leg up and it injures a guy in the stomach.
Song: And then you take your other one and jam it right up there!
Drifter puts his other leg up, kicking one of them in the groin.
The leader finally wakes up from being unconscious and sneaks up behind Girly.
The Drifter: Girly!
Girly: No don't help me out, I think I like remember the next verse! I think I got it!
Song:
You twist yourself around.
She faces the opposite direction and sees him about to pounce.
Song: And give a big lunge!
As tries to grab her by the shoulders, she leaps, over his hands. She then remembers the stopwatch in her pocket.
The leader: What are you going to do with that? Ha.
Girly propels it hard at his face, causing him to get a black eye and once again fall down.
Song: And now you're doing the sponge!
The guy springs back up and Girly slowly walks towards the bar stand as he runs towards her. She grabs the pink box of hot sticky buns from the bakery and dumps all of them on the floor. It causes him to slip up and be stuck to the floor.
Song: Bet your buns now you're doing the sponge!
The lyrics repeat as the Drifter finally knocks out all the Bubble Poppin' Boys and the song ends. He picks out a comb from a pocket of one of the unconscious bodies.
The Drifter: Would you believe one of those a-holes broke mind while I was fighting? The nerve of those guys and their current broken eyeballs.
All of the people from the diner originally come back and praise the two.
Owner: We just heard you saved the diner from the Bubble Poppin' Boys, we can't thank you enough!
Girly: You heard. Once again word gets around here fast.
The Drifter takes his seat back on the bar stool, he dusts off his jacket before slouching back.
Girly: Holy cookie crumbles, where did you learn all those moves from?
The Drifter: I'm The Drifter babe, I don't learn moves, I create them.
Girly: Well I thought it was like sweeter than a candy cane that you rescued me like that.
The Drifter: Really?
Girly: Like totes dude! We could use someone like you as security at our bakery.
The Drifter: As nice as that sounds, I'm more of a drifter than a bouncer. In fact, it's about time I leave this place before the cops get on my tailfin again about stiff bod-
Girly looks at him puzzled.
The Drifter: I mean unconscious attackers.
Drifter gets up to say goodbye as the waitresses sigh over him once more.
Girly: Well we'll all like really miss you. Especially me, you're pretty cool. Wait! You can't leave! I just remembered. My birthday is tomorrow. Please won't you just stay until then? Pllllease?
The Drifter looks around, and then at lovely Girly.
The Drifter: Alright, but not for a day longer.
Girly TeenGirl: Yay!
The Drifter: Well I don't really have anywhere to stay over night.
Girly TeenGirl: That's okay, you can stay with me and my family tonight in Farawayville.
The Drifter: Alrighty then.
But The Drifter would stay much longer than a day at their residence. About six months later, him and Girly got into a relationship and a year later, they got married. Fast forward two more years, and this is where the story has really begun.