Best insults and comebacks

[DadMom AngryPants]

Post your favourites here. I'll start.

"I call it Bold and Brash."
"More like ... belongs in the trash. GHAHAHAH!"

http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=aHgfFP87v1GaaJM%2BtkNd31bprDvK%2Bym%2B0sYdbcMkFw0%3D

 

[The Real Nostalgia Critic]

Patrick: Well, you're a turkey!
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick: It's what you are!
SpongeBob: Well, you're a bigger one!
Patrick: Well, you're still yellow! And you know what else is yellow?
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: You are!

 

[Grubby Grouper]

"I don't think that'll fit in with my collection"
"Why not?"
"Because, it's an art collection!"
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=aHgfFP87v1GaaJM%2BtkNd31bprDvK%2Bym%2B0sYdbcMkFw0%3D
Gotta love Monty P. Moneybags.

 

[The Real Nostalgia Critic]

Well, well, if it isn't Milkmaidman!

 

[kev]

I love this conversation from Sponge Out of Water:

Plankton: There she is, my computer wife. They've got her tied up in the back room. I've never seen this many people at The Chum Bucket.
SpongeBob: I've never seen anyone there.
Plankton: Now was that really necessary?
SpongeBob: Cuz the food's really bad.
Plankton: Oh, come on, really?
SpongeBob: Shhh!!!

 

[RomNick]

Plankton: I don't see you on the front lines. Sure, let me do all the work, while you just sit back like the fat gorilla you are.
Krabs: Who you are calling a gorilla, you one-cent, one-eyed BOTTOM FEEDER?!?!?

Always cracks me up. Why Plankton came up with a surface animal is anyone's guess.

 

[Spider-man]

Sandy: "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"

Patrick: "Not until four."

 

[Cha]

Patrick's higher intelligence insults.

 

[DadMom AngryPants]

Patrick's higher intelligence insults.

I also like it when Patrick is brutally honest and doesn't even realize what he says is hurtful. He genuinely thinks he's giving great advice.

"No one would want a friend as ugly as I am."
"Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look."

 

[777]

Sandy: Spongebob give me the wrench
Spongebob: U-bub-ub, Lab partner!
Sandy: Huh?
Spongebob: We agreed to call each other "lab partner"
Sandy: SPONGEBOB!!!!!!
Spongebob: LAB PARTNER!
*Sandy grunts and grabs the wrench herself*

 

[Sunshine Banjo Face]

*Every Squidward line ever*
What? :p

 

[Tuba95]

"Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where it's almost as if the evolutionary clock ticks backwards."

 

[ScumBob]

Sandy: Spongebob give me the wrench
Spongebob: U-bub-ub, Lab partner!
Sandy: Huh?
Spongebob: We agreed to call each other "lab partner"
Sandy: SPONGEBOB!!!!!!
Spongebob: LAB PARTNER!
*Sandy grunts and grabs the wrench herself*

I like your name

....Yeah, I have nothing.

 

[Leedles]

"Shut your mouth you mediocre clarinet player."

 

[BubbleBlowingBaby]

"Shut your mouth you mediocre clarinet player."

http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=mSWYqEGWD9WmbpbFw3PEH4U8pP%2FCDQrG82qA4oE8QQo%3D

Mediocre?

 

[Murvine Taylor]

"I guess from now on we'll have to start calling you Mrs. Pop. Dahahahah!"

Okay, that was a joke. :P

Squidward: I knew you retrobates were behind this.
SB: Yeah! We're retrobates.
Squidward: That was an insult.
Patrick: And we're insulted.

 

[Amphitrite]

SpongeBob: I hate you Patrick.
Patrick: I hate you more.
SpongeBob: I hate you no matter what.
Patrick: I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you.
SpongeBob: I'd hate you even if that made sense!

 

[SarahGiraffe]

Nobody gives a care about the fate of labor as long as they can get their instant gratification.

Thanks, I'm gonna go look for one, so I can stop mooching off my friends, and they can get back to their lives!

Listen, you crustaceous cheapskate! Squidward's been living at my house, driving me crazy! And you're not gonna hire him back all because of a stupid dime?!

 

[SmittyWerber]

Hey buddy, you just come from Stupid Town?

 

[The Real Nostalgia Critic]

SarahGiraffe's avatar made me think of something.

"Hey buddy, you need a ride? I was just on my way to the big doofus convention!"