A Tail of Two Snails

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Plankton: WHAT THE FLIMFLAM?!!? YOU'RE DOING THREE STORIES ALL AT ONCE?!!?
PokDouglas: Oh, I've got a lot more then that Planky.
Stevie: (walking by eating a burrito) Huh?

---

Narrrator: Patchy the Pirate presents...
Patchy: Ahoy, it's a SpongeBob SquarePants special!

He turned on his TV to reveal the "A SpongeBob SquarePants special" logo.

A Tail of Two Snails
Written by
PokDouglas

Directed by
PokDouglas

Not to Be Confused With
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

Anything Else Meow Forgot
PokDouglas

One cold Tuesday night, Patrick walked into his rock, tired and exhausted.

Patrick: Another long hard day of doing things that don't make sense! Sometimes I wonder how I make it out alive!

He walked over to his bed.

Patrick: But it's time to unwind, get down, and go to bed! As soon as I take off my shorts...(takes off shorts)...and say goodnight to Rocky!

He walked voer to Rocky who still had his number on from The Great Snail Race.

Patrick: (pats Rocky) Good night, my little snail. (pause) Wait a minute. Hey, Rocky, hows come you never say good night back to me? And hows come you almost never move from this pot unless I pick you up? And why do you look just like a rock?! (gasp)

We cut to the outside of the rock. He yelled so loud he scared the scallops away.

Patrick: ROCKY'S JUST A ROCK!!!!

He squeezed out of his rock holding Rocky.

Patrick: I've gotta tell everyone!

We cut to him bursting into Stevie's bedroom, where he woke up Stevie and Coral.

Patrick: STEVIE!!! ROCKY'S A ROCK!!!
Stevie: (hops out of bed) What?!!? You're kidding me!
Patrick: NO!!!
Coral: Meow?

They broke out of Stevie's house, running in circles. They crashed into Squidward's bedroom, where they woke up Squidward and Snellie.

Patrick: Squidward! You'll never believe this!!!
Stevie: ROCKY'S JUST A ROCK!!!
Patrick: *nodding in agreement*
Squidward: (goes back to sleep) Wow, shocking.

They crashed out of the house. Just then, Snellie felt a sting. She lifted her foot up to reveal splinters all over her bottom. Her bed was made of splintery twigs and hay. She meowed sadly.

They crashed into SpongeBob's bedroom, where they woke up SpongeBob and Gary.

Patrick: SpongeBob, SpongeBob!
Patrick and Stevie: ROCKY'S JUST A ROCK!!!
SpongeBob: I've been trying to tell you guys that for months.

They both gasped.

Patrick: You knew?! Why didn't you tell us?!
SpongeBob: I did. 27 times. Just go back to sleep.
Patrick and Stevie: Oaky.

They hopped out to go back to bed and SpongeBob turned off the light.

SpongeBob: Good night, Gary.
Gary: Meow.

Next scene: Patrick Has An Idea!

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

Oh my gosh, hilarious first scene. I love how Stevie joined.

 

[Sandy_Rocks]

Wow! I wonder what will happen!

 

[patrick2403]

Really funny. Great job! :P

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Patrick Has An Idea and Squidward Has a Sad Snail!

The next morning, SpongeBob walked out of his house to see Stevie crouching in the driveway.

Stevie: Rock snail no happen. Rock snail no happen. No snail, rock. Rocky rock. No snail Rocky rock. Snail rock.

He then walked over to Patrick's house to see him sitting asleep on the top. Rocky was on his lap.

SpongeBob: Patrick! Wake up!
Patrick: (waking up) Hunh? Who-...Oh, hey, SpongeBob. Guess what?
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: I had the most brilliant idea ever!
SpongeBob: What is it, Patrick?!
Patrick: Underwear should be made of hardened toothpaste!
SpongeBob: (scratching head) What?
Patrick: Oh, wait, that was my second brilliant idea. My real brilliant idea was...that we should go out and find a real pet to replace Rocky! SNAIL NO ROCK!!!
SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick! Let's start with the pet store.

Patrick hopped down as they walked to Stevie.

Stevie: Snail no rock, snail no rock, snail no rock...
SpongeBob: Hey, Stevie. We're going to the pet store to find Patrick a new rock, wanna come?
Stevie: (immediately snaps out of it) Sure.

As they walked away, we pan up into Squidward's house.

Squidward: What idiots. Right, Snellie?

Snellie slithered off her splintery bed and into the bathroom, where her food bowl was. She looked in it to see it empty.

Snellie: Meow meow. {As usual.}

She noticed that the front door was open. She finally saw this as her chance to escape this terrible life. Just as she was about to dash out, Squidward picked her up by her shell, wearing his dancing outfit from Culture Shock and Slimy Dancing.

Squidward: Come on, Snellie! It's time to do the Morning Hustle!
Snellie: Meow! {Oh, god!}

At one point during this "Hustle", Squidward accidentally threw Snellie against the wall. Similar to Gary Takes a Bath, Snellie's shell cracked into pieces as a snail-less Snellie slowly slipped off the wall.

Squidward: (walking over) Sorry, Snellie. Won't happen again.
Snellie: Meow meow. {As usual.}

BTTNS.

Next scene: Bikini Bottom Pets n' Things!

 

[SBRoxMan]

Great story, and the first part has hilarious. :sandyx:

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

I can't wait to see what Patrick's new snail looks like.

 

[Sandy_Rocks]

It'll be good! I have an Idea! Mystery is one of the pets and spongebob wants her back and he stares at her for an hour. Then he budges the owner to sell it to him, lower it gets. he stays there until dark and walks out. He goes to sleep on sandys dome.

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

It'll be good! I have an Idea! Mystery is one of the pets and spongebob wants her back and he stares at her for an hour. Then he budges the owner to sell it to him, lower it gets. he stays there until dark and walks out. He goes to sleep on sandys dome.

Mystery is not in this fic. (and I don't plan for her to be in any future fics)

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

I love how Stevie was saying "snail no rock."

 

[*Kirby*]

I love this story

 

[patrick2403]

So do I. It's awesome!

 

[Band Geek]

Bad fic no happen. Bad fic no happen. No bad, good. Ficcy good. No bad Ficcy good. Fic good. FIC NO BAD!

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Bikini Bottom Pets n' Things!

SpongeBob, Patrick, Stevie, Gary, and Coral all walked into a pet store downtown labled "Bikini Bottom Pets n' Things". It had a sign on the store saying, "If it's not here, then you don't need it!"

SpongeBob: This is a good place to start. The "Pets n' Things" in Sunshine Bottom is where my parents got Gary.
Gary: Meow.

They walked inside and walked over to a pet store clerk, who spoke with a Spanish accent.

Pet Store Clerk: Welcome to Pets n' Things! How may I help you?
Patrick: I want a pet.
Pet Store Clerk: No problem!

He first measured Patrick, then took a look at his eyes. He then dumped water on Patrick and extracted it (along with some of Patrick's body hair) with a turkey baster. He then shook it and examined the hairs inside.

Pet Store Clerk: I got the perfect thing for you! (pulls out a rock) A pet rock!
Patrick: (smashes rock onto ground) I don't want a rock! (stomping on rock) NOGEE SAGA SASQUATCH!!!
Pet Store Clerk: Whoa, animal cruelty.
Patrick: I want a living breathing pet that's not a rock and knows how to pee!

The clerk pulled out a sea snake.

Pet Store Clerk: How about this rare Portuguese Sea Snake? His name is Altamentevenenoso*.
Stevie: Ooh, Alto-men-taven-oh-hose. That's a very attractive name.
SpongeBob: Aren't sea snakes highly poisonous?
Pet Store Clerk: (throws Altamentevenenoso away) No. But if he really worries you that much, I got something even better.

He pulled out a sea urchin in a jar.

Pet Store Clerk: Diadema antillarum toxinos.
SpongeBob: Doesn't that mean "poison sea urchin"?
Pet Store Clerk: No!
SpongeBob: What pets do you have that aren't in the Jellyspotters' Guide to Toxic Sea Animals?!
Pet Store Clerk: WELL, WHAT KIND OF PET DO YOU WANT?!!? A GRAIN OF SAND?!!?
Patrick: I just want a snail!
Pet Store Clerk: Oh, okay. All you had to do was say so.

MONTAGE
*we don't see the snails, but we see their silhouettes*
Patrick: Too happy.
Patrick: Too sad.
Patrick: Too smart.
Patrick: Too dumb.
Patrick: Too old.
Patrick: Too young.
Patrick: Too hard.
Patrick: Too soft.
Patrick: Too tough.
Patrick: Too weak.
Patrick: (as they're covering their eyes) TOO WRONG!!!
Patrick: That's not even a snail!
END MONTAGE WITH A BTTNS

Next scene: Going Down-Own-Own-Own-Town!

*"Altamente venenoso" is Portuguese for "highly poisonous".

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

I like when Patrick said NOGEE SAGA SASQUATCH.

 

[patrick2403]

Yeah. Really cool stuff.

 

[Stinkoman 20X6]

Going Down-Own-Own-Own-Town!

They were now walking through Downtown Bikini Bottom.

SpongeBob: Well that place turned up bar to none. Stevie, why didn't you tell us that Pets n' Things recently signed a deal with Toxic Pets

' Us*?
Stevie: Well...it never crossed my mind. Besides, you guys didn't tell me you don't like toxic pets.
SpongeBob: Well gee, I didn't think it'd be neccessary.
Patrick: Where are we gonna look now?
Stevie: I got the perfect place.

Nearby, Squidward was strolling downtown, holding Snellie.

Squidward: Ahh, this is the life, huh, Snellie? Just you, me, and all this quiet city peace.

Snellie's ears shriveled as they were disrupted by all the city noise going on near them.

Squidward: Alright, Snellie, let's get some clothes for you! The Bikini Bottom Pets n' Stuff place was out of snail clothes, so we're just going to Guppies

' Us*!
Snellie: MEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! {NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!}
Squidward: I know, I'm excited too!

We cut to Squidward and Snellie walking out. Snellie was wearing a blue baby bonne ton her eyestalks, a pacifier, and a diaper on her shell. Some kids walked by.

Kid #1: Heh-heh, look at that wimpy baby snail.
Kid #2: I know, it looks so cute and baby-ish!
*laughing*
Snellie: Meeooww.
Squidward: I agree, Snellie. Those boys are so jealous.

*bubble transition*

SpongeBob, Patrick, and Stevie walked into the inner halls of the Sea Needle from BFBB (GC/PS2/XB). Apparently, the halls had closed as a tourist attraction since their destruction in BFBB. Stevie shined a flashlight through the poorly lit halls.

SpongeBob: Why'd you lead us in the abandoned tourist halls of the Sea Needle, Patrick?
Patrick: Because, this is where I got Rocky. So if there's pet rocks here, this place has got to be bustling with pet snails, too!

SpongeBob and Stevie walked out.

Patrick: Guys? Where ya goin'? Guys?

BTTNS.

Next scene: Kelp Forest?!

*Effecient method: Paste the letter "R" onto MS Paint, flip it using MS Paint's "Flip/Rotate" feature, and then upload it to ImageShack©.

 

[Band Geek]

A: Nice goin' with the R there.
B: That was a pretty good chapter. Loved the part with Squid and Snellie. xD

 

[SpOnGeFaN818]

That snellie part was awesome!

 

[patrick2403]

Very nice! :patx: