Next up, we've got an episode that's pretty appropriate given the recent Perch Perkins series on YouTube. That's right, we're at "Squilliam Returns"! I love how this is the title of the episode given that Squilliam was introduced in one of the most popular and iconic episodes of this show, so people know him well. I wonder if Band Geeks became popular immediately and that's why the title was like this, because it's not like we ever got a "Plankton Returns" or anything (because remember, at this time Plankton wasn't a main character).
I love how this episode begins, with Squidward counting down the seconds until he can leave (relatable) and then immediately going on a rant about how much he hates this job and looks forward to the day he can quit and move on with this life (because that's also relatable). "Squlliam Returns" also wastes no time giving us what we came here for, which is Squilliam. Squidward runs into the guy immediately during his lunch break, and once again I find myself waxing poetic about how adult this show can be sometimes. And I don't mean that in a dirty jokes way, because there's a lot more to being an adult-like show than that. This is still a show for children, after all. But what I mean here is Squidward's embarrassment about his life, especially when comparing it to Squilliam, is something that's relatable to adults, not necessarily children, who are still at the very, very beginning of this game we play called life.
Moving on, this interaction is a little slow going but it is funny, especially with the classic "Oh no he's hot!". And then we get Squidward blurting out his blatant lie, which makes the audience both dread and anticipate what is to come, at least in my case. I love the face and reaction Squidward has to Squilliam's proclamation that they'll stop by his restaurant that night. I love how much this episode demands that audience's suspend their disbelief, given that there's no way anyone in that group of people hasn't heard of the Krusty Krab, especially once Squidward (probably) gives them the address of the place. Since the Krusty Krab isn't a chain, it's hard for me to think of an adequate comparison. I was going to say it's like not knowing what McDonald's is, but maybe that isn't accurate. It's like not knowing where the best pizza in town is. Just ludicrous. But these are a bunch of rich snobby folks, so perhaps they aren't in touch with the goings-on of cheap food.
Anyway, I love how Mr. Krabs lets Squidward set up this whole charade, it once again subtly hints at a real friendship and companionship between the boss and employee, given that Mr. Krabs actually seems to want to stick up for Squidward here. Alternatively, he could be jealous of Squilliam's money I suppose, and wants to take him down because of that, but I choose to believe in the wholesome version of events.
Squidward's ensuing set up of the Krusty Krab is pretty entertaining, and I love how Patrick just shows up in this episode. He's really funny here, with his whole "straightening out his life through the corps" thing, but he's also funny throughout this episode, such as his fighting with the coat hanger, or the whole Appetizer debacle. I love everyone's enthusiasm with coming together to help Squidward out here, it's very reminiscent of "Band Geeks". It seems that Squilliam is a problem that our characters continue to rally together for. SpongeBob is probably the standout in this episode, with his whole bit about becoming a waiter. The scene of the little SpongeBobs in his head is probably one of my favorite examples of the type of humor I love to see in SpongeBob, I love when they just deconstruct jokes randomly.
Speaking of this episode being reminiscent to "Band Geeks", we get a very similar set up to everyone getting their crap together at the last minute, as Squidward runs out the restaurant thinking everything is a disaster, and walks in with Squilliam seconds later mouth agape and stammering because of the sheer quality of the ruse. At this point it isn't even a ruse, SpongeBob really made the Krusty Krab a 5-star restaurant! SpongeBob is just adorable as a devoted waiter, and he is really putting in the work, doing everything from the cooking (given Mr. Krabs' and Patrick's being tied up), the cleaning, the seating, and of course the waitering. It's just a very entertaining segment to watch as SpongeBob blows Squilliam away, and Squidward gets a chance to gloat.
Unlike "Band Geeks" though, things don't end there for Squidward, because everything comes crashing down beautifully, with SpongeBob going crazy because he threw out everything in his mind except "fine dining and breathing", and Patrick and Mr. Krabs coming loose with the appetizer. I love how Squilliam trolls Squidward at the very end, because it's almost convincing and it always gets a good laugh out of me. The ending stinger with the world's smallest violin is hilarious too, and a great callback to the joke from earlier. Speaking of that gag, my parents and I do that to each other all the time (rub our fingers together and play the world's smallest violin), it's such a funny little gag.
I really like "Squilliam's Return", and have no problems with it whatsoever. It's not knockout hilarious, but it's plenty enjoyable and funny, and deserves to be on my "Amazing" tier.
Episode Tier: Amazing
Episode Score: 9/10
