I just forced myself to sit through this thing, and my god, I think I might have found an episode that I hate more than A Pal For Gary, and I DO NOT say that lightly. I've decided to make a list on everything wrong with this episode, enjoy:
- It takes 15 minutes for the story to begin
Not even joking about this, it literally took the episode 15 minutes for ANYTHING of substance to happen. Like, at all. Everything that happened prior to the 15 minute mark is extremely boring filler.
- The Humor Is Non-Existent
I didn't laugh at a single joke in this episode, and that's mainly because it's nothing but Squid Abuse and Patrick being an idiot, AKA the stuff we see in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.
OH. MY GOD. THIS, THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE WORST PART OF THE ENTIRE EPISODE!!! THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT TO THIS WHATSOEVER. HALF THE TIME HE'S JUST CALLING UP CELEBRITIES, THAT I MIGHT ADD ARE TERRIBLE ACTORS, OR JUST ACTING LIKE A IDIOT. "HURR DURR SPONGEBOB IS TOTES REAL" JESUS CHRIST, THIS EPISODE MADE ME DESPISE THIS CHARACTER, AND HE'S PRETTY MUCH IRREDEEMABLE AT THIS POINT. HE WAS ACTING LIKE A LITERAL PSHYCOPATH, KIDNAPPING AND HOLDING HOSTAGE THAT ONE GUY, AND THEN HARASSING OTHER CELEBRITIES ON THE PHONE. WHEN HE'S NOT ACTING CRAZY, HE'S JUST ACTING STRAIGHT-UP STUPID.
Alright, so I'm just going to make this clear, the reason I HATE this special is not because of the promos, in fact, my hatred for this episode has absolutely nothing to do with what the network decided to hype it up to be, because that's not the writers' fault. The flashbacks alone are stupid and just down right frustrating. For example, Mr. Krabs tells Spongebob the Krabby Patty secret formula. Well, let me stop ya' right there. You know why? BECAUSE HE ALREADY KNOWS THE FORMULA, OTHERWISE HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THE PATTIES IN THE FIRST PLACE. Oh yeah, not to mention the entire flashback is just footage of Mr. Krabs and Spongebob walking, only to arrive back at the Krusty Krab. Yeah, that WAS NOT FUNNY, It's just stupid. Then we have the Spongebob and Sandy get married flashback, which is actually pretty neat concept, except for the fact that it obliterates all the show's established canon between these two characters. Since the beginning of the show, Spongebob and Sandy have seemed to have an altruistic relationship, and nothing more. Sure, there have been hints throughout the show that Spongebob may have a crush on Sandy, but they've never directly said that aloud. Not to mention, if this were in fact a flashback, and they'd had already gotten married, you'd think that we'd see them perhaps living with each other? Or maybe even see the slightest form of interaction that may suggest that they're more than friends? Yeah, just this concept as a flashback alone just can't work. As it turns out, I'm right, and it turns out the entire thing was a play. Alright, so other than that being the biggest slap in the face to the audience possible, let's look at some other things wrong with this. Why is there a play about Spongebob getting married? No, really. Why? Do that many people in Bikini Bottom really know him all that well? Secondly, why would people call that "the worst play I've ever seen" just because some lights fell down? It doesn't affect the writing of the play in anyway, and is actually a problem on behalf of the technical staff of the play. Why don't you just go complain to them? Some may argue that they didn't like the play from the beginning, however, that is false as well, since we see seconds before this happened the entire audience looking genuinely entertained and emotionally compelled by the play. Ugh.
Please tell me what the point of him being in this episode was? We all knew that in the end he wasn't going to get the secret formula, and if he did, he would be ultimately defeated by Mr. Krabs and Spongebob. I'm not one of those people who immediately hates "Plankton tries to steal the Krabby Patty forumla and fails" episodes, as long as they do something new and interesting with it. They don't do this here, at all. Plankton doesn't help the story in any way, and is honestly just here to get abused.
MY EARS!!! WHHHHYYY???? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? I CAN EASILY SAY THAT THIS IS THE WORST SONG TO EVER COME FROM SPONGEBOB, AND YES, I'M COUNTING THE SONGS FROM ATLANTIS SQUAREPANTIS.
This episode made me remember why I stopped watching the show 4 years ago, and honestly made me briefly consider ever watching the show again after this. I had heard a lot of negative feedback about this episode beforehand, but I never thought it would be THAT bad. My god, was I wrong. This episode is the absolute worst thing to ever come from the show, and quite possibly Nickelodeon as a whole. My final ranking is 0/10. Congratulations Luke Brookshire, Steven Banks, Nate Cash, and Paul Tibbitt, I officially hate all of you with a burning passion.