~Season six is NOT a terrible season.
I know, I know. —It’s one of the most hated seasons! After all the season six badmouthing I’d heard from YouTubers and fellow SB fans, I used to declare it the “worst season”, too. But you know what? I take it back. Season six, despite its many terrible plotlines, out of character moments, and grotesque closeups, I can still appreciate it. It’s the season of SpongeBob I grew up with. You see, I was just moving on from shows geared towards toddlers and young children right around the time that seasons six through eight were spewing out new episodes from the depths of Nickelodeon studios. Being a young kid, I didn’t mind the quality. I thought it was quite the hilarious show, despite my parents considering it to be a “dum-dum show” that it would “rot my brain”. And yes, I know good quality when I see it. Seasons six through eight sucked! Though, personally I think seven and eight are much worse. Regardless of quality, six gave me “Not Normal”, “Sand Castles in the Sand”, “Choir Boys”, “Enchanted Tiki Dreams”, and “Toy Store of Doom”. —Episodes I still quote to this day! :) Episodes that made SpongeBob something only me and my siblings watch. Episodes that made me have to CONVINCE my parents to let me watch such trash. Episodes that hold childhood memories... Season six is nostalgic...
~SpongeBob is NOT asexual.
Beloved Hillenburg may have said so, but I don’t feel as if it was explicitly stated. Sure, he “considers” SpongeBob to be asexual, but I think that was so he could avoid any further arguments regarding his character’s sexuality. The show itself disproves that SpongeBob is asexual in episodes like “To Love a Patty”. Maybe I don’t know the definition of asexual well enough, but he FELL IN LOVE with the patty. Sure, it’s an inanimate object, but he DID have strong feelings for it. —And don’t get me started on SquidBob...
~Spandy will never and should never happen.
Truth or Square is, to me, not a reliable source of canon material. I don’t consider their “marriage scene” to affect their relationship, nor the book in which SpongeBob slipped and said he had a crush on Sandy. And so what if it is considered “canon”? —It’s really not! They’re friends and nothing more. If they were intended to be more than friends, we’d have gotten subtle clues early on. The only relationship clues I’m getting (and blatantly, at that) are all regarding SquidBob. Yeah, I’m biased.
~SquidBob IS canon.
On SpongeBob’s part, at least. SpongeBob’s actions towards Squidward in later seasons are borderline gay, if not flat out. You know that infamous scene: “Bye, Squidward. Bye, Mr. Krabs. Byyyye, Squidward.” Then he proceeds to wiggle his fingers suggestively. In episodes like “SquidBob TentaclePants” (ha, even the title approves), SpongeBob displays a creepy fascination with being near “Squiddy”, as he calls him. In episodes like “Squid Noir”, he can be seen swooning over Squidward. In this particular episode, he even tells Squidward “there’s room for one more” kiss on his cheek, while pointing. The compliment “he’s so handsome” is literally the closing line in the despised episode “Are You Happy Now?”. Yeah, duh, Squidward HATES SpongeBob, but even he can show affection for him, like towards the end of both “Graveyard Shift” and “Dying for Pie”, my two favorite episodes!