"Request a meal? I wish I could say that's not a bad idea, but the fact that you're the one cooking it makes me turn away."
"Is that so? If that's the case, I won't force you to make a decision, but remember, Squidward, I'm fond of you, so if you do turn your big nose up at my fabulous cuisine, you might be offending somebody!" Squilliam winked.
Squidward didn't want to know what Squilliam meant by 'being fond of him', because it was probably just another poorly attempt at getting his attention. Squilliam was definitely not that masculine, so for all he knew, he could be trying to seduce him. Whatever, he wasn't going to let his rival's actions take over his life.
"Squilliam, because it's important and I'm curious...why, just why-"
"-yes?"
"-do you follow me everywhere?"
"I'm interested in your...lifestyle." When Squilliam took a breath, Squidward knew he had nothing to hide. He leaned over and put his legs on the bench to support him. Squilliam was cornered. This was going to be gold.
"Why have you moved?"
Squidward said nothing, but crossed his arms.
Squilliam groaned. "Squiddy, please don't do this..."
"Uh-uh, nothing's going to stop me! I demand to know why you are so interested in the life of Squidward Q. Tentacles, and spit it out!"
His rival bit his lip in embarrassment and his cheeks turned pink, but he gave in because it looked as though he might faint from the worry of having to reveal it. "I'm jealous of your popularity!"
Squidward punched his rival's chest hard but playfully with a ruthless look on his face, but Squilliam still flinched, so he must have felt awful. Squidward's teasing expression softened a little and he stopped himself from laughing.
"Thanks for that, you bully."
"What? It took you too long to admit it, I have fans just like you, although they might not be as obvious. Hey, don't get in a mood. Where are you going?"
"Home. Your five minutes are up."
"Woah, already?" He checked his watch. "Mr. Krabs is going to make fried calamari out of me."
"I would kind of like to see that. Oops! I'm back to being ME again. Seems like this advantageous millionaire is just too fabulous to stay angry!" He flew back to Squidward to give him a hug.
"Don't hug me! I hate that."
"Fine. I'll let you go, but I guarantee we will meet again sometime in the week! Toodle-oo! If you come back in one piece, save me some calamari!"
"Fool." Squidward shook his head, but he couldn't help smiling because of how charming his rival was.
THIS LINE, OMG. ^_^ I sort of head-canon that he thinks this about Squilliam.
