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Dumped

(Morning in Bikini Bottom. Gary is outside SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward's houses on Conch Street. SpongeBob tip-toes and hide behind a rock.)
SpongeBob: Oh, I've got ya now, Gary.
(SpongeBob hops up from behind the rock and when Gary sees SpongeBob's shadow over, him, he meows.)
Gary: Meow?
(SpongeBob pokes Gary's shell.)
SpongeBob: Tag! You're it!
(SpongeBob runs and jumps onto his pineapple house, clinging to it with his teeth.)
SpongeBob: Gary will never find me here!
(Gary slithers up the pineapple and tags SpongeBob with his eyestalk.)
SpongeBob: Uh-oh. Tag! Now I'm it!
(He laughs, sliding down the side of his house. The skin of the pineapple peels off where his teeth were, making two of the shavings look like a
mustache inside his mouth. He spits them out and sees Patrick beside him.)
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?
SpongeBob: Gary and I are playing tag. You wanna join us?
Patrick: Oh, boy! Would I!
SpongeBob: OK... Tag, you're it!
(He talks slowly, tags Patrick, and runs off.)
Patrick: I'm it! I'm it, I'm it, I'm it! I'm it!
Gary: Meow.
(Patrick tags Gary.)
Patrick: Tag, you're it! I win, I win!
(Gary purrs, clinging to Patrick.)
Patrick: What's with Gary? He sounds like a motor boat!
(Giggles)
SpongeBob: That's just a snail's way of saying he likes you!
(Patrick laughs.)
Patrick: It tickles!
(SpongeBob & Patrick laugh at Gary, who slides around Patrick's body until nighttime.)
SpongeBob: Well, I guess it's time for me and the Gare-Bear to get going. Come on, Gary!
(He takes Gary off of Patrick and walks him to thew pineapple as Patrick waves.)
SpongeBob: Boy, I can't wait to hit the hay. What about you, Gary?
(SpongeBob sees that Gary is no longer under his arm.)
SpongeBob: Gary? Gary?
(Cut to Patrick's rock house. Patrick is in his nightcap, brushing his teeth in front of a mirror.)
Patrick: Brush, brush, brush. Brush, brush, brush...
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Have you seen Gary?
Patrick: Brush, brush, brush. Brushing everywhere...
(He brushes under his armpit, spits, and turns around to reveal Gary attached to his stomach.)
Patrick: Nope.
(He looks down and sees Gary.)
Patrick: Oh, hey! Here he is!
(He points to a purring Gary.)
SpongeBob: Come on, Gary. We gotta let Patrick go to sleep.
Patrick: Oh, I don't mind SpongeBob. In fact, why don't you Gary stay over at my house tonight?
SpongeBob: Hey, that's a great idea!
Patrick: A sleepover! Oh boy, oh boy! This is gonna be great, Gary. We can stay up 'till dawn and watch scary movies! And eat popcorn! And
play board games...
(SpongeBob talks in his head, and Patrick, in the background, says "Blah, blah, blah...".)
SpongeBob: (In his head) Gee, this is great. My two best friends in the whole sea having a sleepover.
Patrick: And then we'll make a house of cards, and then we'll read some comic books...
SpongeBob: OK, you two have a good time. I'll see you tomorrow.
(Patrick and SpongeBob wave, and SpongeBob walks home.)
Patrick: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
(Cut to a sea-level view of the Bikini Atoll Island, where the sun rises. In Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob wakes up after hearing his foghorn alarm
clock. He slips out of his blanket, leaving it still in his shape.)
SpongeBob: I'm awake!
Patrick: (Off-screen.) Hey, SpongeBob!
(SpongeBob's sheets deflate to normal as SpongeBob walks to the window.)
SpongeBob: Hey, guys. How was the sleepover?
Patrick: Great, SpongeBob! Watch this! Wherever I go, Gary follows!
(He pulls Gary off himself and runs away, Gary following him. Gary goes after Patrick, who runs around SpongeBob's house and onto his. He leans on
the bamboo weather vane and falls off his rock house. Gary follows suit.)
Patrick: See?
(SpongeBob hops out from the window.)
SpongeBob: Come on, Gary! Try and catch meee!!!
(He laughs, running around.)
SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Gary? Me running around and you chasing me?
(He notices the missing Gary.)
SpongeBob: You're... Not chasing... Me.
Patrick: Come on, Gary. Let's play a different game.
(Patrick walks over to his house and Gary crawls after him. SpongeBob hops over to in front of Gary.)
SpongeBob: Whoa-ho-ho! Look out! I'm right in front of...
(Gary slithers away with Patrick.)
SpongeBob: ...You. What's wrong with me?
(Sniffs himself.)
SpongeBob: Do I offend?
(Patrick is playing with Gary, an SpongeBob gets an idea. He brings a ball covered in snail slime out of his pineapple house.)
SpongeBob: Hey, Gary! Gary, look! It's your favorite ball!
(Gary is ignoring SpongeBob and continues to play with Patrick. SpongeBob drops the ball, which for a moment, dangles from a string of slime.
SpongeBob brings out some Snail-Po snail food.)
SpongeBob: Hey, Gary! Look! Snail Nip!
(He eats some, leaving slime in his mouth.)
SpongeBob: Huh? Huh? Huh?
(Gary is still unnoticing. SpongeBob runs inside the pineapple and dangles from it by the window as he has closed his head on it.)
SpongeBob: Help, Gary! Help! Help me! Oh, merciful Neptune! I closed the window on my head!
(Gary is on his back and Patrick is laying on his back on top of Gary. Gary uses the bottom of himself to move Patrick, leaving a trail of slime on
his back.)
SpongeBob: Alright, that's it!
(The window opens and SpongeBob falls onto the ground. SpongeBob walks up to Patrick and Gary.)
SpongeBob: Gary, you stop this foolishness right now.
(Gary tucks his eyes near himself.)
SpongeBob: Gary the Snail, answer me when I'm talking to you!
(No answer.)
SpongeBob: OK, that's it mister! You are coming home with me this instant!
(SpongeBob pulls Gary away from Pat.)
SpongeBob: Say good-bye to Patrick, Gary.
(He walks off with Gary.)
Gary: (Sadly) Meow.
Patrick: Hold it right there, DadMom AngryPants!
SpongeBob: What's that supposed to mean?
Patrick: I don't know. But I do know Gary knows who he wants to go with. So I suggest that you put him down and let him
choose.
(SpongeBob does so.)
SpongeBob: Fine. But I would like to remind him...
(Turns Gary towards himself.)
SpongeBob: ...Who it was who fed him and housed him and sat on his bedside when he was sick and massaged his eyestalks when his eyes were
sore! OK, Gary. Go ahead, show him. OK, Gary! Come to me! Come on! Come on, Gary! Come on! Come here, Gary!
(Gary turns to where Patrick is.)
SpongeBob: Uhh, wrong way, Gary. G-G-Gary, turn around! Gary! No, Gary! No, no, no!
(Gary begins to inch towards Patrick.)
SpongeBob: Don't do it, Gary!
(He falls on the ground, crying as Gary goes up to Patrick.)
Patrick: Well, well, well. I guess that answers that question. So long, SpongeBob. Me and Gary got stuff to do.
SpongeBob: OK, fine! If that's how you want to thank me...
(Through his tears.)
SpongeBob: For all that I've done!
(Cut to SpongeBob sitting on his bed in his bedroom at night. He cries into Gary's empty food bowl.)
SpongeBob: I guess you're not coming back, Gary.
(He gets angry.)
SpongeBob: I don't need Gary! I'll just find another pet! Yeah, it'll be better than Gary! I'm going to get a pet that won't go off
with my best friend!
(Cut to later. SpongeBob walks by Patrick and Gary with a dog-like worm on a leash.)
SpongeBob: Hi, guys! Say "hello" to my new pal, Rex!
Rex: Woof!
(Sponge pets Rex.)
SpongeBob: Not only is he loyal, but he knows tricks, too! Watch and learn. Sit, Rex! Sit!
(Nothing happens.)
SpongeBob: Roll over, Rex! Roll over!
(Nothing.)
SpongeBob: Now, stay, Rex! Stay!
(Rex doesn't do anything.)
SpongeBob: Good boy, Rex! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?
(Patrick dances with Gary on his head.)
SpongeBob: I'm sure glad we went our separate ways, Gary. A worm really is the pet for me. So loyal, so trusting, always by my side!
Rex: (Off-screen) Woof!
(We see Rex on the other side of the road at the bus stop with a travel pack. The bus comes and takes Rex away. Cut to SpongeBob bringing in a
pet travel cage.)
SpongeBob: Who needs worms anyway?
(SpongeBob sets the cage down and releases what's inside.)
SpongeBob: Welcome home, newest bestest friend! Come on out! Don't be shy!
(A snail slithers out. It has a unibrow and is a sickly green color.)
SpongeBob: You remind me of someone I once knew. A certain someone who's name will not be spoken in this household. Come on, let me show you
around... Lary.
Lary: (Gruff, nasally voice.) Meow.
(Cut to SpongeBob delivering a platter to Lary.)
SpongeBob: And now, Lary, I present to you... Dinner time! Ta-da!
(He removes the silver lid, revealing Gary's bowl of food underneath with an "L" drawn over the "G" in "Gary".)
SpongeBob: (French accent) Bon appetit, Lary.
(He giggles. Lary sniffs the food and hisses loudly in disgust. A frightened SpongeBob takes the bowl away.)
SpongeBob: OK... Maybe later.
(He takes a step backward. Cut to SpongeBob in his green robe in his bedroom with Lary.)
SpongeBob: This is where you sleep, Lary.
(Lary tears up his newspaper bed and snarls obnoxiously. Then, we see him on SpongeBob's bed.)
SpongeBob: Uhh, that's where I...
(Lary snarls again and falls asleep.)
SpongeBob: I guess you can sleep there...
(SpongeBob lays down on the newspaper and puts some shred of it onto himself like a blanket.)
SpongeBob: I'll just sleep down here. Well, good night, Lary.
(Lary growls for waking him up. Cut to the next day. Lary is watching TV when SpongeBob jumps in, scaring Lary into his shell.)
SpongeBob: Hey Lary, want to hear a joke? Aww, Gary used to love this one! What do you call a snail on a ship? ...A snailor!
(SpongeBob laughs heartily, but Lary hisses and slithers off.)
SpongeBob: Don't you get it Lary? A-a snailor... Gosh, Lary is sure different than Gary. And Gary and Lary are real different than Jary!
(He holds a live-action snail from his pocket, pronounced "Jerry", but spelled "Jary". He looks at a picture of Gary on the wall.)
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary, why did you have to go?
(Crying.)
SpongeBob: Why, Gary!?! Why? Why!?! Why!?! Why!?! Why!?! Why!?!
Gary: Meow.
(SpongeBob looks at Gary's picture in shock.)
SpongeBob: Gary?
(We see Patrick with a basket of laundry and Gary with him.)
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: (Coldly) Oh. Hello, Patrick.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: (Coldly) Hello, Gary.
Patrick: Would it be all right if me and Gary did some laundry around here?
SpongeBob: Laundry? But... We used to do laundry.
Patrick: And, uhh... SpongeBob? Could we borrow some soap?
SpongeBob: Soap? But... We used to use soap.
(He holds up two bottles of soap, one marked "Fresh Scent" and the other, "Heavy Duty". He begins tearing up.)
SpongeBob: Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du...
(Patrick rolls his eyes.)
Patrick: Here it comes.
SpongeBob: Du-du-du-duu...
(Bursts into tears.)
SpongeBob: ...ttyy!!!
(His tears fly into the soap and bubbles come out.)
SpongeBob: Gary! Please come back, Gary! Please come home! I'm a wreck without you! I know! If you come back, there'll be a new no-rules rule!
You can do whatever you want, when you want! If you want to rip up the sofa, then you rip it up! And the litter box? Forget about it! The world is
your litter box! And you don't even have to wait around for me to feed you anymore! 24-hour fridge access! And you don't even have to use a bowl!
And I know how much you like my prized driftwood carving of Squidward. Well, think of it as your own personal scratching post! What do you think,
Gary? Won't it be fun, Gary?
(SpongeBob breaks all the rules by tearing up the sofa, dumping the litter box onto himself, and garbling milk from the fridge straight from the
carton. Then, SpongeBob scratches the wooden Squidward carving into a heart.)
Patrick: How pathetic.
SpongeBob: Gary?
(The wooden heart breaks and one part of it falls onto SpongeBob. Everyone walks into SpongeBob's laundry room, which as a washer, dryer, and
old-fashioned washer and clothesline. It's decorated like SpongeBob's bathroom.)
Patrick: I'm sorry, SpongeBob, but Gary's with me now. You had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it,
SpongeBob: You're only hurting yourself.
(He takes off his Hawaiian shorts and drops them into the washing machine.)
Patrick: It's what Gary wants, and what Gary wants... Is me! Right, Gary?
(They see Gary in the washing machine examining Patrick's green-and-purple Bermuda shorts.)
Patrick: He only liked me for my shorts!
SpongeBob: No, Pat! He wanted the cookie in your pocket!
(Gary eats Patrick's cookie and slithers to SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: G-G-Gary?
(Gary burps and smiles.)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Whee!
(he hugs Gary.)
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary! I knew you'd never leave me! Aww...
(He giggles and prepares Gary for a walk.)
SpongeBob: Let's go for a walk, pal!
(SpongeBob & Gary leave Patrick at the front door.)
Patrick: Gary? I thought what we had was special!
End