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Arrgh!

Mr. Krabs: Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I surely break out in a rash!
SpongeBob: Yippee! I'm rich! Look Patrick, eight gold dubloons!
Mr. Krabs: Wait, I saw it first! hah! (Jumps onto table) Mine, mine! Huh?
SpongeBob: Boy Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.
Mr. Krabs: What's this? Where are the dubloons?
SpongeBob: (laughs) There are no real dubloons, Mr. Krabs! It's a game: 'The Flying Dutchman's Treasure Hunt'.
Patrick: Based on a real treasure map.
SpongeBob: Take a break and play around with us.
Patrick: Yeah! C'mon sweaty.
Mr. Krabs: Have you finished cleaning the tables?
SpongeBob: I cleaned the tables Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?
SpongeBob: (chewing) I already took care of it.
Mr. Krabs: Ha ha ha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me.
Patrick: My turn. (rolls dice) Five. (makes strawberry noise while moving piece) (reads card) One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. (SpongeBob turns eyes toward Mr. Krabs) It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired!
Patrick: But I don't even work here!
Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? (puts hat on Patrick's head)
Patrick: Boy, would I?!
Mr. Krabs: (takes hat off Patrick's head) You're fired!
SpongeBob: My turn. (rolls dice) One, two, three, four. (picks up card and reads it) Look for the Deacon's Goose through the fork in the old tree and head that way. Well, I see Mr. Krabs zipper is undone.
Mr. Krabs: Uhh! Shiver me timbers!
SpongeBob: (laughs) Just kidding, Mr. Krabs. I'm almost to the treasure. You're turn again Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: (rolls dice) Ooh, fish eyes. One, two.
SpongeBob: (picks up card and reads it) You are a real pirate. Go straight to the "X" that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Treasure. (digs and mini plastic treasure chest appears) There it is! It's the Flying Dutchman's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs is getting all sweaty again.
Customer: Rev up those fryers, cause I am sure hungry for one...help! help! My leg!
Mr. Krabs: Can't you see we're closed! Ready for another round? This is my kind of game!
SpongeBob + Patrick: Hooray!
Mr. Krabs: Six! One, two...I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.
SpongeBob: I think we ought to call it a night, Mr. Krabs. I really got to get some sleep.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. (yawns) See you tomorrow. (walks inside house) (rattling noises heard) Huh? Whose there? (turns light on)
Mr. Krabs: C'mon, SpongeBob. One more game. I can smell the treasure.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, it is late. Go to bed! Good night, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Wind is perfect, the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you gotta...(opens door)
Mr. Krabs: That's awful lad. If the Dutchman hears ya, we'll never get his treasure.
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs...
Mr. Krabs: I'll roll for ya boy.
SpongeBob: But, Mr...
Mr. Krabs: (rolls dice) Eight paces, now that's a good start lad.
SpongeBob: But, Mr...
Mr. Krabs: One, two, three...
SpongeBob: (yelling) MR. KRABS! I WANNA GO TO BED! Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry, but it's just a game, ya know?
Mr. Krabs: A game. That's...right. Of course it is, my mistake. I guess I got a little carried away, eh? On this treasure we're dealing here. Sorry, for disturbing ya, lad.
Mr. Krabs: (morning arrives) Avas! Pineapple, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.
SpongeBob: Aw, go home already. I'm done playing that game, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: It's Captain Krabs to you, and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.
SpongeBob: Pirates?
Mr. Krabs: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map?
SpongeBob + Patrick: Treasure? (dancing around) We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!
Mr. Krabs: Ay, ay, ay. Relay that skipping. Pirates don't skip. (throws them a bag of pirate stuff) Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.
Mr. Krabs: Now, don't you feel more like pirates?
SpongeBob: Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! (falls on plank)
Patrick: I'm Blind Beard the Pirate. (falls on SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Ow.
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh! (sailing underwater) Keep a sharp lookout. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.
SpongeBob: Really? Can we see the map?
Mr. Krabs: Uh...no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.
SpongeBob: Okie dokie, then.
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "arrgh!"
SpongeBob: Okie...oops. (laughs) I mean...arrgh! Captain Krabs. (eyes widen) Captain, we're about to hit...uhh...I mean...arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...
Mr. Krabs: Out with it man, arrgh!
Patrick: I, arrgh, think, arrgh, he's trying, arrgh, to say...(crash) land.
Mr. Krabs: ARRGH! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mr. SquarePants?
SpongeBob: The whole ship is underwater captain.
Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it boys, from the seaweed with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, that seaweed has...(Mr. Krabs pulls a leaf off)
SpongeBob: Which way captain?
Mr. Krabs: Answer Patrick. Which was is east?
Patrick: Uhh...let's see, uhh...(points) that way captain!
Mr. Krabs: 9,997...9,998...9,999...10,000! Where's the "X"? Suppose to be right here! 10,000 paces east.
Patrick: Ooh! East? I thought you said "weast".
Mr. Krabs: Weast? What kind of compass you reading lad?
Patrick: This one, sir.
Mr. Krabs: That's west, Patrick. You're fired again. 9,551...9,552...
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we're tired.
Patrick: And hungry.
Mr. Krabs: Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his compass, but by the size of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty of his crew. And without a crew, what am I captain of? Just a bunch of sand! (cries)
Patrick: Don't cry Captain Krabs.
SpongeBob: Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. *both cry*
Mr. Krabs: You'll stay with me then?
SpongeBob + Patrick: We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!
Mr. Krabs: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!
SpongeBob + Patrick: And all for one! (laying on ground at night outside tent)
SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.
Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.
SpongeBob: But we've only been gone a few hours.
Patrick: I know. (laughs) (SpongeBob moves away)
SpongeBob: I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!
SpongeBob + Patrick: Captain Krabs?
SpongeBob: He's not here.
Patrick: Look! The treasure map.
SpongeBob: Only the captain can look at the map, Patrick.
Patrick: Yeah...
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?
Patrick: Nothing.
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're not suppose to look at the map. (Patrick poking the map)
Patrick: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that is there?
SpongeBob: No, guess there isn't. (Both poking map)(Map opens)
SpongeBob: Oops! Patrick, it opened by itself. (Both laugh) (Eyes enlarge and search the map)
SpongeBob + Patrick: The map, gotta see it, gotta look at it. (Eyes go back in)
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yeah?
Patrick: Did you notice something familiar about this map?
SpongeBob: You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?
Mr. Krabs: Do you think this is a problem?
SpongeBob + Patrick: Aah! Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Sneaking peeks at me treasure?
Patrick: We're sorry.
Mr. Krabs: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?
SpongeBob: Not at all, Captain Krabs. We don't think that at all!
Patrick: I think that.
Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!
SpongeBob: (gasps) Look! It's the "X".
Mr. Krabs: (eyes go into "X" like symbol) "X" marks the spot!
SpongeBob: Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.
Mr. Krabs: Well, what are you waiting for lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.
SpongeBob: We got it Captain Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha. Hand it up to me lads. Heave! (Brings treasure up)
Mr. Krabs: We finally found it.
Lady Overvoice: The Dutchman's Treasure!
All: Wow!
SpongeBob: What are you going to do with your share, Patrick?
Patrick: I don't know. How are you going to spend your share, SpongeBob?
Mr. Krabs: What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!
SpongeBob: We found it together. So we deserve a share!
Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm the captain. And I say it's mine!
SpongeBob: What about loyalty?
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
SpongeBob: And one for all.
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
SpongeBob: And one for all.
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
SpongeBob: And one for all.
Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman.
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
SpongeBob: And one for all.
Flying Dutchman: (sleeping) I'm the Flying Dutchman. Who dares wake the Flying Dutchman? Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to get some sleep.
Mr. Krabs: All for one.
SpongeBob + Patrick: And one for all. (Lightning)
Flying Dutchman: Who duh up the Dutchman's treasure?
Mr. Krabs: (shoves chest toward SpongeBob and Patrick) They did!
Flying Dutchman: Arrgh! So you two scalawags dug up me treasure?!
SpongeBob + Patrick: Uh-huh!
Flying Dutchman: Well, you saved me a lot of diggin you did. So here's an reward for the two of ya's.
SpongeBob: Wow!
Lady Overvoice: Two Gold Dubloons!
Mr. Krabs: Wait! I'm captain of this crew. Where's my reward?
Flying Dutchman: Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. (Flicks something to Mr. Krabs)
Mr. Krabs: Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest.
Lady Overvoice: Plastic!
Flying Dutchman: Ay, but it's based on a real treasure chest. (laughs)
Patrick: Gee Mr. Krabs, you're looking all sweaty again.
End