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Drive Thru

(at the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, whatcha doing?
Mr. Krabs: Oh ahoy, SpongeBob! I was just using some old toothpaste I found to patch up this small hole in the wall.
Squidward: Good thing you didn't hire a professional to do that.
Mr. Krabs: And why is that, Mr. Squidward?
Squidward: Because then you'd only get to repair it once. (SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs blink twice)
SpongeBob: So what flavor is it?
Mr. Krabs: It-it-it's just a hole in the wall, boy. It doesn't have a flavor.
SpongeBob: No, I mean the toothpaste.
Mr. Krabs: Oh! Well, I think it's--(the small wall cracks into pieces, creating a larger hole)
SpongeBob: Hey, look Mr. Krabs! That small hole in the wall just became a medium-sized hole in the wall.
Squidward: Time to get out the dental floss, Ha! (cut to a dad driving his kids to the Krusty Krab)
Boy #1: Thanks again for taking us to the Krusty Krab, dad.
Boy #2: Yeah, mom never brings us here.
Dad: (chuckles) Anytime, kids. What the...? (Mr. Krabs is putting more toothpaste on the hole)
SpongeBob: Careful now.
Dad: (sticks his head through the hole) Hey, you guys put in a drive-thru!
Mr. Krabs: We did?
Dad: Great. I'll have three large Krabby Patties, Krabby Fries, a Krabby Cola, and 2 extra large orders of Krabby Rings. (sniffs the stuff on his arms) Is this toothpaste?
Mr. Krabs: Boy, I don't know how I think think of this stuff, but I think I've got a winner. We are putting in a drive-thru!
SpongeBob: A drive... ohh!
Squidward: Sounds like a lot of extra work to me.
Mr. Krabs: You mean "for you."
Squidward: (opens cash register) It'll cost you money.
Mr. Krabs: Oh nonsense. We'll build it for free. (cut to Mr. Krabs outside looking through the hole)
SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob. What's with all the booty?
SpongeBob: I got this microphone system so we can hear what the customers order, this neat sign with a menu on it, and this colorful arrow so they know where to go. It even lights up, see? (Light goes on)
Mr. Krabs: Well, that's great, SpongeBob, but I already got a bunch of stuff that's better-- a menu board made with old napkins and packing tape, a microphone I made from some rusty tin cans I found, and this sign I made it from an old noodle.
SpongeBob: I don't get it, Mr. Krabs. How is this stuff better than the things I bought?
Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, what?
SpongeBob: How is this stuff better?
Mr. Krabs: Because it was... (shakes tin can. SpongeBob puts his ear up to it) free! (SpongeBob flies away after Mr. Krabs yells at him through the tin can. Cut to later where the drive-thru is up and running)
Fish #1: I'll have a medium fries, a large Krabby Patty, and a medium drink.
Squidward: Coming right up, sir. SpongeBob, I need a medium fries, large Krabby Patty, and a medium drink.
SpongeBob: I'll have that ready for two shakes in a lamprey's tail! (giggles. Pushes the food through the hole and it drops on the ground. Take a trampoline outside and puts it in front of the hole) That ought to fix it. (tries again and the food gets on the customer now) Thank you, come again.
Mr. Krabs: Yes, you like it there, don't you? (Billy walks by) Can I help you? (Billy gives Mr. Krabs a bill) A bill? What's this for?
Fish #1: It's for my dry cleaning. It seems as though your new drive-thru window was a little on the challenged side, size-wise, I mean.
Mr. Krabs: (makes the hole bigger by hitting it with a sledgehammer) There. Problem solved.
Narrator: Meanwhile...
Squidward: SpongeBob, two large, two medium. I hate my job.
Fish #2: Excuse me, I'd like to place an order. (Squidward walks towards the window)
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Squidward.
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I am getting really tired of running back and forth. I find it both exhausting and time-consuming. (Mr. Krabs moves the boat and grill closer to the window) Oh, wonderful, peachy. Now how am I suppose to get two SpongeBobs so I can hand them these order tickets here?
Mr. Krabs: (smashes a hole through his office) Problem solved.
SpongeBob: Squidward! Hi!
Squidward: Oh it's days like this that make me wish I had gone to college.
Plankton: (driving a small car) Now I'll be able to get a Krabby Patty the simplest way possible-- by ordering one. (laughs and clears throat) I would like to order one Krabby Patty, please, uh, extra secret formula. Hello! Is this stupid thing on?
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, any customers?
Squidward: None that I can hear.
Mr. Krabs: (looks out the hole) Oh, here comes one now!
Plankton: Hey. Hey! Go around. Go around! (gets run over and screams)
Old Man: Large Krabby Patty with fries, please.
Squidward: With fries. Got it. We'll have it right out to you, sir.
Old Man: What? You're closed? Now she tells me. (drives off)
Squidward: (sticks his head out with the order) There you are, sir. The ketchup's in the b-- What? Did somebody order a Krabby Patty? (Plankton raises his hand) Nobody, huh? Ok, I'll just toss it in the trash.
Narrator: Later...
Pearl: (laughs with friends) I am sure in a jovial mood. How about you guys?
Teenager #1: You bet Pearl!
Teenager #2: Oh, I'm feeling especially jovial, you know, being a teenager and all!
Squidward: Welcome to the Krusty Krab Drive Thru. Can I take your order?
Pearl: Hey, you guys, it sounds like that weird guy, Squidward. What do you say we play a prank on him?
Teenager #2: Oh, sounds like a great idea to me, being a teenager and all. (uses a megaphone to speak through the drive-thru) Two large Krabby Patties, please, with fries! (laughs)
Squidward: (pushes ear into his head) Oww! I'm not faking it, you know. That really hurts, a lot! (cut to Squidward giving Mr. Krabs a bill)
Mr. Krabs: A bill? And what is this for?
Squidward: It's for my ear-replacement surgery! We need a real microphone and speaker.
Mr. Krabs: You have any idea how much a real microphone and speaker costs?
Squidward: How much?
Mr. Krabs: Well, they cost as much as-- as a-- as a real microphone and speaker.
Narrator: Just then...
Larry: (crashes into the drive-thru speaker) Whoa. Whoa. Whoopsie.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, you delinquent.
Squidward: Now you'll have to replace it.
Mr. Krabs: Replace what?
Squidward: The microphone!
Mr. Krabs: What do I look like I'm made out of tin cans?
Squidward: No, but that pile of tin cans over there is. (points to a pile of tin can)
Mr. Krabs: Good thing we've got you around to always point out the obvious.
Squidward: Good thing you're around to never notice the obvious. (fixes the tin can)
Larry: Sorry about that, dude.
Mr. Krabs: Well that's nice. I'm still billing you for the damages!
SpongeBob: (Walks to the hole holding a Krabby Patty meal) One Krabby Meal to go.
Larry: Hand it on up here.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Larry. (tries reaching up to Larry)
Larry: Come on, bro. You can do it. (SpongeBob falls through the hole and spills the meal) Or maybe not.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. I'm concerned.
Mr. Krabs: Oh? Why, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Because I can't reach the window of Larry the Lobster's S.U.B!
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, well, there's a solution to every problem. (uses the sledgehammer to smash a hole higher than the other one) There, problem solved. (Laughs) Hey, what's all the ruckerous about? Whoa. (a long line of boats are eager to get to the drive-thru)
Fish #42: Hey, what's the hold up?
Waiting Customer: How long are you going to make us wait?!?
Fish #107: We were waiting here for hours!
Harold: We're still waiting in our driveway.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! There's a line of customers out there a million miles long.
Squidward: That's nice. That's interesting.
Mr. Krabs: I guess I'll be retiring early after all!
Policeman: Mr. Eugene Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Yes? (cop hands him a ticket) What? Is this a-- a-- a ticket?
Policeman: A ticket? (laughs) Now why would I write you a ticket, huh? Oh, I know. How about for turning the whole town into a parking lot?
Mr. Krabs: But officer, I-- I-- listen--
Policeman: Relax man. That's just my order. I want two Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries to go. I don't wait in lines. (shows badge)
Mr. Krabs: Oh sure, right. Whew. (laughs) SpongeBob can you get the kind officer two...
SpongeBob: Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries to go, sir? Anything for our boys in blue.
Mr. Krabs: Here you go, Officer. And thanks for being so understanding. If you know what I mean? No charge.
Policeman: You're welcome. Just hope the Mayor doesn't find out about this mess. He's the one you need to worry about. (opens the door for the next customer) Mayor.
Mayor: Eugene Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Ah! Mr. Mayor!
Mayor: The whole town is in a stand-still because your drive-thru is so slow.
Mr. Krabs: Well, don't you worry, Mr. Mayor. There's an answer for that, too. (makes another hole on the other side of the Krusty Krab) There you go! See, now we've got two drive-thru's, two lines, and I'll make money twice as fast. (laughs).
Mayor: Hmm. That should work perfectly. (cut to later)
SpongeBob: Okay, who had the Double Krabby Patty with fries and extra cheese? (customers try to grab at the food just to leave but it falls on the floor)
Squidward: SpongeBob, order up!
SpongeBob: I'm on it! (takes the order and puts a lot of patties on the grill)
Squidward: Hurry SpongeBob, I've got 26 more orders.
SpongeBob: (grows more arms to carry all the orders out of the kitchen) 26 orders up!
Squidward: (runs past SpongeBob) No, no, no, not that window, the other one.
SpongeBob: Squidward, are you sure? These customers over here look really, really hungry. (a few customers are yelling through the hole)
Customer #1: Come on! I can't believe this!
Squidward: (getting bit by customers) And these ones don't?!
Customer #2: (gets hit from behind by another boat) Hey, hey, hey, watch it will ya? I just had this thing repainted!
Tough Customer: And I just had this repainted. (takes out a pipe)
Customer #2: I see you used the extra-glossy.
Plankton: (walking up and down the lines selling food) Chum Nuggets here. Going fast! Get 'em while they're cold, get 'em while they're running. Looks like Krabs' drive-thru is really paying off, for me. (laughs then sees a boat coming) Oh no...not again. (screams as he gets run over by the same fish from before)
Old Man: Oh, darn it, now there's a line!
Plankton: (Gets up) Watch where you going old man. This is the second time.
Old Man: I'm too old to wait in lines. (backs up over Plankton)
Plankton: Chum Nuggets. Get them before (arm breaks the Chum Nugget onto his eye) my arm falls off.
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) They're everywhere.
Squidward: Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Stay back. Take Squidward, not me. Oh, hi Squidward.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we've got to do something! The customers are mad with hunger. They're beginning to riot.
Squidward: For once, he's right!
Mr. Krabs: Easy, boys, easy. Don't you think you're both getting a little carried away? I mean, I hardly call this a riot, right? (chuckles) Like-- (Krusty Krab shell sign crashes through the glass window) Okay. Don't worry. I can solve this. (runs over to the wall with his sledgehammer) More drive-thru's, more money! (makes another hole. All the customers driver away)
Mr. Krabs: Hey, is somebody eating potato chips? (Krusty Krab crumbles)
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. We can fix it. (takes out some toothpaste and squirts the dirt with it and runs out) We might want to buy some more toothpaste, though. (Mr. Krabs starts crying)
End