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Hide and Then What Happens?

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick!
Patrick: Hi, uh …
SpongeBob: SpongeBob.
Patrick: SpongeBob!
(They stare at each other, blinking back and forth.)
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!
Patrick: Yeah?
SpongeBob: You wanna play hide and seek?
Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: OK! I figure that spot over by those rocks is a good place to – (Patrick pats his shoulder)
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yeah?
Patrick: Do I have to know what hide and seek is in order to play it?
SpongeBob: (laughs) Come on, Patrick, we've played hide and seek dozens of times.
Patrick: Dozens?
SpongeBob: Thousands!
Patrick: Thousands?
SpongeBob: Well, I don't know for sure how many but -
Patrick: Gosh!
SpongeBob: Gosh what?
Patrick: I didn't know hide and seek had so much mathematics.
(SpongeBob walks over to a rock)
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's simple. One person stands behind a rock, like this. (pats rock) Then they cover their eyes (covers them) and counts while the other person runs and hides.
Patrick: Hey, you're peeking!
SpongeBob: I thought you said you didn't know how to play.
Patrick: Play what?
SpongeBob: Hide and seek!
Patrick: Oh, no no no, I do! I do know how to play!
SpongeBob: Oh, good!
Patrick: I just have one tiny question.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick: What's hide and seek?
(scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting on the ground. SpongeBob has his socks on his hands like puppets.)
SpongeBob: You think you're getting it now, Patrick? Did you find the sock puppet demonstration to be useful?
Patrick: Hide and seek: a game played by two or more players in which one player chosen at random counts aloud to a predetermined number while the remaining players hide. Upon reaching said number the counting player now embarks on a search for the other players. The search continues until all players are located and a winner is determined.
SpongeBob: (puts his socks back on his feet) You really are getting it!
Patrick: (sadly) Hide and seek sure sounds fun. I just wish I could play. (cries)
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, come on, of course you can play.
Patrick: No – I can't!
SpongeBob: Why can't you?
Patrick: Because I don't have any socks!
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, forget about the socks.
Patrick: What socks?
SpongeBob: Never mind, just start counting.
Patrick: (covers his eyes) One, two, three …
SpongeBob: Thanks perfect! Now I'm gonna run and hide.
(Patrick continues to count)
SpongeBob: Now to mull over where I'm gonna hide. (does so) Well, that's definitely one idea.
Patrick: Four! (opens his eyes and sees SpongeBob) Aha! Hey, I found you! Aha! I win, I win, I win! In your face! I must be the greatest hide and seek player ever!
SpongeBob: (impatiently) All right, now it's my turn to count. You know what you're supposed to do, right?
Patrick: Of course. I'm the greatest hide and seek player ever, aren't I?
SpongeBob: All right, here we go. (covers his eyes) One, two, three, four, five, six …
Patrick: (in his mind) Do you hear that? Yeah, what is that? Oh, it's SpongeBob. Why is he counting? I guess I'll just go home. Maybe later he'll want to play a game or something. ]
SpongeBob: 22, 23, 24, 25 …
(Patrick goes home)
SpongeBob: 99, 100! Now, where is he hiding? (looks around and stops at Patrick's rock) Nah, way too obvious. (walks in the other direction)
(Patrick takes his trash out)
SpongeBob: Come out, come out wherever you are! (he searches behind kelp, coral and rock) Patrick? (sees a pink lump and gasps) Patrick! Aha! (grabs the lump, which turns out to be a rock) This is gonna be harder than I thought.
(cut to Squidward walking up to his house with a bag of groceries. He rummages in his pocket for his keys.)
SpongeBob: (from a distance) Squidward! (Squidward drops his bag and searches frantically for his keys. SpongeBob runs toward him) Squidward! (Squidward finds his keys but drops them) Squidward! Squidwaaaard! (Squidwards finds the key but it breaks in the lock) Squidward?
Squidward: (angrily) Whaaat?!
SpongeBob: I'm playing hide and seek with Patrick and I was wondering if I could search for him in your house.
Squidward: No!
SpongeBob: OK, see ya, bye!
(cut to Mr Krabs walking with a chest under his arm. He walks into a giant letter.)
Mr Krabs: What the-? (another letter falls from the sky) Head for the shelter! This day came sooner than I thought!
SpongeBob: (from on top of the Krusty Krab sign) Hey, Mr Krabs!
Mr Krabs: How do they know my name?
SpongeBob: Mr Krabs, up here!
Mr Krabs: SpongeBob? What are you doing?
SpongeBob: I'm playing hide and seek with Patrick. I thought I'd look for him up on this sign. (he throws another letter down)
Mr Krabs: SpongeBob! That makes me furious!
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr Krabs, I'll clean it up!
Mr Krabs: Ah, it's not that. It's just that you haven't paid the fee!
SpongeBob: The fee?
Mr Krabs: You know. The Krusty Krab Hide-and-go-seeker's Fee. For playing hide and seek on Krusty Krab premises.
SpongeBob: Oh, that one. I almost forgot. (he throws some coins down)
Mr Krabs: OK, good look finding him!
SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr Krabs! (he removes the last letter) Darn it.
(cut to Mrs Puff's boating school, where SpongeBob is in the parking lot trying to lift a car)
Mrs Puff: Where could that awful noise be coming from? It's been going on for hours now. (she walks to the source of the noise) SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, hi Mrs Puff.
Mrs Puff: What are you doing? My class can hardly hear me teach.
SpongeBob: I'm trying to lift this boat. I think Patrick's hiding underneath it.
Mrs Puff: Why would he be doing that?
SpongeBob: 'Cause … we're playing hide and seek! Wanna play?
Mrs Puff: Me? Why, no, I couldn't.
SpongeBob: Are you sure?
Mrs Puff: Yes.
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure?
Mrs Puff: Ye-es.
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs Puff: (irritably) Yes, I'm sure.
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs Puff: Yes!
SpongeBob: Are you sure you sure you're sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs Puff: Actually, SpongeBob, I will play. (she lifts the boat and throws it at the lighthouse, where it catches fire and breaks into pieces)
SpongeBob: Nope, he's not under there. Thanks for checking under your car, Mrs Puff!
(cut to SpongeBob knocking at the treedome door)
Sandy: Yes? (SpongeBob runs past her) SpongeBob? What are you doing with that magnifier?
SpongeBob: Looking for Patrick. I've been seeking and seeking all day but I can't find him!
Sandy: That's terrible news.
SpongeBob: I know!
Sandy: (snatches the magnifier) Come on, you ain't gonna find him with that sad little thing. I got something better. (she pushes a big red button and a submarine raises up)
SpongeBob: Woooow. Are you sure it's OK for me to use this?
Sandy: I keep this here for emergencies. This is an emergency, right SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (excitedly) Yes, yes absolutely! (he gets in) Thanks again, Sandy!
Sandy: Be careful!
(he crashes through the glass and begins to search Bikini Bottom, Jellyfish Fields and Goo Lagoon)
(an alarm sounds and SpongeBob check the fuel, which is empty)
SpongeBob: Darn it. (he gets out with a gas can and begins to walk against the wind)
(he walks into a sign) Welcome to the end of the world! Cafe and gift shop. (he walks into a dilapidated bar)
Barman: Can I help you, son?
SpongeBob: I'm looking for my friend, Patrick.
Barman: He a big, roundish fellow with a pointy head?
SpongeBob: Exactly!
Barman: Haven't seen him.
SpongeBob: Oh. OK, well, thanks anyway -
Barman: Wait, wait, wait, is he pink?
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Barman: Well in that case, he's sitting right over there. (he points)
SpongeBob: I can't believe it! Patrick, it really is you!
Patrick Notstar: (turns around) My name is Patrick … Patrick Notstar.
SpongeBob: Patrick Notstar? Oh noooo! (crying) You aren't the one I'm seeking! Now I'll never find Patrick. He wins at hide and seek! He wins, he wins!
Patrick Notstar: So he wins. What's so bad about that?
SpongeBob: Well if he wins, I lose!
Patrick Notstar: Did you have fun playing?
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Patrick Notstar: Well, then it's OK to lose, as long as you had fun doing it.
SpongeBob: (stops crying) Hey, you're right! Thanks, Patrick Notstar!
Patrick Notstar: Oh, and just one more thing.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick Notstar: Do you have a dollar I could borrow?
(cut to SpongeBob leaving a note outside Patrick's house; the rock opens to reveal Patrick)
SpongeBob: Patrick! You were under there the whole time?
Patrick: Under where?
SpongeBob: I was just leaving you this note.
Patrick: (takes the note and reads it aloud) Dear Patrick, I couldn't find you, so you win. But that's OK because I still had fun playing. You are truly the greatest hide 'n seek player in the whole world. Love, SpongeBob. Thanks, SpongeBob! That really means a lot.
SpongeBob: Patrick, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
Patrick: I just have one question.
SpongeBob: Ask away!
Patrick: What's hide and seek?
End