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The Slumber Party

(at Mr. Krab's house where he's sleeping in a chair in front of the TV)
Pearl: Un-ac-ceptable!
Mr. Krabs: Pearl?!
Pearl: My friends will be here in 20 minutes for my slumber party and you're laying around, in your "tighty no longer whities."
Mr. Krabs: A man works hard all week to keep his pants off all weekend.
Pearl: If you trusted me you would leave for the night.
Mr. Krabs: (laughs so hard that corn chips come out of his nose) You made Corn Crunch come out me nose!
Pearl: Dad!
Mr. Krabs: Look, I'll stay upstairs in me room and not interrupt.
Pearl: You promise?
Mr. Krabs: I promise.
Pearl: Good night, daddy.
Mr. Krabs: Good night, sweetie. (goes upstairs. Pearl turns around and her dad is locking up the refrigerator)
Pearl: Dad!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hi, pumpkin. I was just setting out refreshments for your friends. (He hands a tray with crackers on a plate and tap water in a cup)
Pearl: Crackers and tap water? You are the cheapest crab alive!
Mr. Krabs: Now, don't say that. Here, would your friends like some pizza?
Pearl: Well, yeah, yeah, we would.
Mr. Krabs: Okay, you could have your allowance early. (takes out some packets of ketchup from his wallet)
Pearl: Ketchup?!
Mr. Krabs: See, you put it on the crackers (does this) and a mamma mia you got a-one a-spicy pizza pie-a. (eats the crackers. Pearl grabs her dad and carries him upstairs)
Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay, I'm going. (Pearl tosses him into his room. The door knocks downstairs)
Pearl: Oh, oh! They're here! (opens the door) Hi! (Mr. Krabs is hammering some rules on the outside of the house) Dad?
Mr. Krabs: Just putting up the house rules.
Pearl: No dancing, no loud music after 7: 30, no touching the root beer cellar?
Mr. Krabs: And the most important one in all, no boys allowed! (pulls down a switch that lights up a giant neon sign that says "no boys allowed" in pink letters) Isn't it glorious? (Pearl closes the front door and locks it) Sweetie! You accidentally locked the door!
Pearl: You're not coming back in this house until after my slumber party is over.
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) This is mutiny!
Pearl: What are you gonna do about it? Take away my allowance? Here you go! (Pearl throws the crackers with ketchup on Mr. Krabs)
Mr. Krabs: Open this door or I'll... (the giant neon sign burns out and so does the entire city of Bikini Bottom. Cut to SpongeBob's house)
SpongeBob: You wanna stay here? At my house? With me?!
Mr. Krabs: What do you say, boy? (SpongeBob blasts off into the air)
SpongeBob: Yay! Slumber party!
Mr. Krabs: Maybe I should just sleep under the highway. (Cut to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs in their sleeping bags, downstairs)
SpongeBob: We can stay up really, really late and tell ghost stories and trade socks! (He shows Mr. Krabs his socks)
Mr. Krabs: Is that what girls do at slumber parties?
SpongeBob: No! They invite boys over and destroy the house.
Mr. Krabs: They what?!
SpongeBob: You know how girls are.
Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls?
SpongeBob: (laughs) Do I know any... No, but Gary does. (Gary is reading the TV guide)
Gary: Meow. (turns on TV with remote)
TV Announcer: We now return to tonight's scary movie, Slumber Party Zombie Attack! (In the movie, some girls are having a slumber party)
Girl in Movie: Pillow fight! (girls giggle) That tickles! (a pillow is thrown into a vase and a picture frame) Missed me!
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp) Look what they're doing to that man's house!
SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, it's only a movie.
Mr. Krabs: Quiet, boy! (Back in the movie, the girls are continuing their slumber party)
Girl in Movie: Boys are here! (Some boys arrive)
Boy in Movie #1: Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends.
Boy in Movie #2: Nice to meet you! (breaks a boat model)
Boy in Movie #1: Ha! Destroying other people's possessions is fun! (the boys break different things and set fire to money)
Mr. Krabs: (screaming) Turn it off! Turn it off, I can't take it!
SpongeBob: I don't think this is the scary part yet.
Mr. Krabs: I said "turn it off!" (destroys the TV with a bat)
SpongeBob: Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew you were scared of zombies.
Mr. Krabs: Not zombies, you barnacle brain! (whispers) Teenagers.
SpongeBob: Zombie teenagers?
Mr. Krabs: No! Pearl and her no-good friends! They're probably destroying me house right now. Like this. (knocks over a plant) Ooh, I don't care. It's not mine! (sees picture of SpongeBob and parents) Ooh, look, one of the homeowner's most prized possessions! (tosses it behind him) La-dee-da!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Ooh look, this'll be fun to destroy. (knocks over the book shelf on top of SpongeBob) Whee! (normal voice) Now do you get it, boy?
SpongeBob: Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs. It must be horrible to invite people into your home and have them treat your property with so little respect.
Mr. Krabs: That's what teenagers do. Do you want this to happen to my house?
SpongeBob: Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Then get into Pearl's party and find out what they're doing!
SpongeBob: Leave it to me, Mr. K. I've got the perfect disguise. (At Mr. Krabs's house, Pearl and her friends are reading magazines and listening to music in Pearl's room. There's a knock at the door)
Pearl: Hello?
Girly: Hi, I'm here for the slumber party.
Pearl: Do I know you?
Girly: My name is... um... Girly Teengirl!
Pearl: Uh-huh...
Girly: Um, I just moved here from... um... Far Awayville.
Pearl: I know it's you, SpongeBob SquarePants!
Girly: I don't know what you're talking about. (Pearl pulls the hair wig and Girly screams)
Pearl: You were sent to spy on me by my dad. Get him, girls!
Girly: (Girly runs away while tomatoes are being thrown at her) I am so moving back to Far Awayville. (SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs drive up in a pizza delivery truck)
Mr. Krabs: Who the heck is that?
SpongeBob: I don't know, but she is ugly! Now to put on that disguise I told you about. (puts on a phony mustache) Ta-da! Huh? Huh? Huh?
Mr. Krabs: You are one of a kind, boy. (knock on the front door)
SpongeBob: Pizza delivery.
Pearl: We didn't order any pizza!
SpongeBob: You didn't?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, tell them it's from me.
SpongeBob: Your dad sent it. It's already paid for.
Pearl: (opens the door) I'd sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza before I'd believe my dad would. Now, who are you?
SpongeBob: Um... uh... (mustache flies away) Hey!
Pearl: (gasps) SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: They're on to us, Mr. Krabs! Drive!
Mr. Krabs: Right, boy! (drives off without him)
SpongeBob: I wanted to come with you, Mr. Krabs.
Pearl: Get him! (girls grab SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Whoa! (drops the pizza box and it opens, revealing it's completely empty)
Pearl: Oh, big surprise. Dad was too cheap to buy real pizza. (cut back to SpongeBob's house)
Mr. Krabs: What's taking SpongeBob so long? I'm getting tired of looking through his stuff. (front door knocks)
Mr. Krabs: (opens door) Hello? (notices a pizza box on the ground) Pizza! (SpongeBob, in the shape of a pizza, is inside)
SpopngeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I failed you.
Mr. Krabs: I know, son. (takes a slice of SpongeBob's left eye)
SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, that's my eye! (Mr. Krabs bites slice and then spits it out)
Mr. Krabs: And it's ice-cold, too. You should have been back here in 30 minutes or less. (takes another slice. Cut back to Mr. Krab's house. Knock at the door again)
Pearl: Who is it?
SpongeBob: Piano repairman! (girls giggle)
Pearl: Okay, we'll be right out.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, it's working. (a piano drops on SpongeBob. Pearl and her friends dropped it from the roof)
Pearl: Have it back by tomorrow, okay?
SpongeBob: Maybe we should leave them alone, Mr. Krabs. They seem pretty trustworthy.
Mr. Krabs: You get into that party, or you're fired!
SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs. (There is another knock on the door of Pearl and Mr. Krabs's house)
Pearl: Whoever could it be this time?
SpongeBob: It's me, SpongeBob SquarePants. Can we talk, Pearl, whale to sponge?
Pearl: (looks up) Hold the boiling oil! (Her friends groan) What do you want, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, please let me stay at your party! Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!
Pearl: No!
SpongeBob: Give me one good reason why I can't stay.
Pearl: I can give you a hundred million billion reasons.
SpongeBob: Yeesh, I only asked for one.
Pearl: Reason number one: You're just like my dad!
SpongeBob: Really?
Pearl: A no-good, dried-up, old fuddy-duddy! (SpongeBob dries up his face)
SpongeBob: So if I prove I'm fun, can I stay?
Pearl: Sure, SpongeBob. If you can prove you're the most fun person on the planet in the next ten seconds, you can stay.
SpongeBob: I only need eight! (runs inside)
SpongeBob: Whoo! Party! (cranks up an old record player) Crank it up!
Pearl: Five seconds.
SpongeBob: These old newspapers are confetti in fun hands! Whoo! (shreds through newspapers)
Judy: I'm allergic to newsprint! (starts getting bumps all over her body) Ooh, ow!
Pearl: Two seconds! (opens a trap door on the floor where SpongeBob falls inside) Okay, okay, I got to admit, that was kinda fun.
Girl #2: I think he's hurt.
Pearl: He's not hurt. (SpongeBob groans) See!
Girl #2: Maybe he's a zombie!
Judy: If he comes back as a zombie and eats my brain, I'm totally not going to be your friend anymore. (Pearl closes the trap door)
SpongeBob: Ooh, Mr. Krabs' root beer cellar. Fun! (turns on all the kegs and fills up the room with root beer. Then absorbs it all into his body. Back to the girls watching TV)
TV Announcer: We now return to Slumber Party Zombie Attack!
TV Girl: Ah! A zombie! (A slimy, green monster is on the screen)
Pearl: This movie isn't all that scary.
Judy: Yeah, that zombie looks totally fake. (trap door creaks open and SpongeBob climbs out of it looking like the monster on TV)
SpongeBob: (gurgling) Slumber... Party...
Girls: Aah! Zombie!
SpongeBob: Fun! (Squirts root beer out of his body)
Girl #3: Ah! (gets blasted with root beer)
Girl #4: Zombie juice! (gets blasted with root beer)
Girl #5: Ah, run!
Pearl: Ah! (SpongeBob spits out root beer everywhere)
SpongeBob: (gurgling) Who wants to dance?
Girl #6: No! I already have a zombie boyfriend!
SpongeBob: Let's boogie! Whoo! (spits out all the )
Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune's toupee is going on here? (gasps and screams at the mess inside his house) Me knickknacks! (screams) Me root beer! Me pile of old newspapers! (cries) I was maybe gonna read that someday! (to Pearl) I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!
Pearl: Trusted me? Your employee destroyed this house! (grabs SpongeBob from inside the record player) The only boy at the party!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (normal voice) Well, Mr. Krabs, you know how boys are. (chuckling. Pearl drops him) Ow!
Pearl: (to Mr. Krabs) It's your fault my party is ruined! And all my friends have zombie shock syndrome!
Girl #6: (rocks back and forth) I'm too pretty to be a zombie.
Pearl: We were fine with a nice simple slumber party. But now it's gonna cost you!
Mr. Krabs: Cost me what?
Pearl: Money!
Mr. Krabs: No...!
(Cut to Goo Lagoon)
Pearl: (over megaphone) Everyone having a good time? (everyone cheers) Well, you can all thank my dad for making this possible. Thank you, daddy!
All: Yeah! Thank you, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: You're welcome, sweetie! Oh, this is so expensive.
Security: You're not allowed any closer, sir. (SpongeBob walks up)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I think I know what'll cheer you up. (spits some root beer out of his armpit into a glass) A mug of ice-cold root beer!
Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, that doesn't cheer me up at all!
End