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The Sponge Who Could Fly

(Open at Jellyfish Fields, SpongeBob is standing holding a net.)
French Narrator: Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter. He stands motionless to lull the jellyfish into a false sense of security. And when his prey ventures too close, he springs into action. (SpongeBob puts on his safety glasses and turns into a spring, bouncing after the jellyfish.)
SpongeBob: (after bounding over a cliff) Huh? AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! (He falls on his face on the ground, breaking into a bunch of little squares. All the little SpongeBobs get up and run around in circles, then become one big SpongeBob again. A straggler runs by, SpongeBob picks him up, and places him back in him.) Whew! I salute you, O majestic jellyfish. Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty.
(A microphone descends from the sky, music begins, and SpongeBob clears his throat.)
If only I could join you, there in the air,
Floating free, without a care.
I wish I could fly and see things with a different eye.
I would fly so very high and touch the sky,
And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly.
(As he was singing, he was imagining flying around with the jellyfish. He suddenly falls on his face, then gets up.)
Wait a minute! I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants.
Grandpa SquarePants: (from SpongeBob's thought cloud) If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads, or jet engines on our backs.
SpongeBob: I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum! I'll invent a flying machine.

(Cut to SpongeBob outside a barn and silo, building a biplane.)
Patrick: (walking up to SpongeBob) What's that contraption, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is a flying machine.
(Patrick laughs.)
SpongeBob: (annoyed) What's so funny?
Patrick: It's like my grandpa used to say... (Grandpa SquarePants shows up in his thought cloud)
Grandpa SquarePants: If we were meant to fly... Hey! I'm not your grandfather! (disappears)
SpongeBob: Well, here I go, Patrick! I'm off to fly with the jellyfish. Ignition, check! (starts propeller) Landing gear, (kicks tire) check! Complimentary peanuts, (holds up a small bag) checkaroo. (Hops into cockpit.) Ready for take-off! (The plane breaks into pieces, the propeller flies off, slicing a hole in the side of the silo. Grain pours out and nearly covers SpongeBob and Patrick.)
Patrick: You cut a hole in farmer Jenkins' grain silo!
SpongeBob: Don't remind me.
(Farmer Jenkins runs up to them.)
Farmer Jenkins: IIII knew no good would come from city folk and their flyin' machines! Now git!
(SpongeBob and Patrick run away.)
Patrick: (still running) W-we better do what he says. He knows how to grow food.

(Cut to in front of Patrick's house, Patrick is just standing there with a blank look on his face.)
SpongeBob: Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders... pfft! (Cut to SpongeBob wearing a very tight-fitting batman-like outfit, standing on the edge of a cliff.) This one's gonna fly!! I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?
Patrick: Ready!
(SpongeBob jumps up and flaps the wings of his outfit, briefly being suspended in the air.)
SpongeBob: It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! (starts falling) I'm faaaalliiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!! (He lands face down on the ground. Patrick rushes over and sprays him with a fire extinguisher.)

(Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick walking towards a lawn chair, somewhere outside.)
SpongeBob: This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly! Behold. (shows off his lawn chair with two balloons tied to it and a brick on top to weigh it down)
Patrick: Oh boy, a birthday party!!
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, this is a SquarePants Flyer Mark III. All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, (he removes it to show Patrick) and...Huh? (When he turns back to the lawn chair, it's gone. They look up to see it floating away.) Well, back to the drawing board.
Patrick: Can we have the cake now? (starts singing) Happy, happy birthday, to you!

(Cut to scene of yet another new invention where SpongeBob is tied to a kite that is tied to Patrick's waist who is on a bicycle.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, get ready to say: Eureka!!
Patrick: OK!!
SpongeBob: Goooooo! (Patrick pedals off, SpongeBob is lifted into the air.) It's working! I'm flying!!
(There's a small crowd of people watching them go past.)
Fish 1: Hey, look at that guy tied to a kite!
Negative Nancy & Fred: (at same time) Oh my goodness! How is he doing that?
SpongeBob: Do not be afraid, earth-bound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you...(suddenly the kite closes around him, causing him to fall to the ground, but Patrick is still riding and dragging him behind) Ow, Patrick!! Ow...Patrick!! (The crowd cheers as Patrick rides off, still dragging SpongeBob behind him.)

(Cut to SpongeBob inside a store, talking with the clerk.)
SpongeBob: Excuse me, sir, I'd like to return this kite.
Clerk: Hey, I know you! Yeah...from today's paper!
SpongeBob: (reading headline of newspaper the clerk held up) "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly" I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams?! Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs, too!
Clerk: No, they didn't.
SpongeBob: You'll see. (walks out of the store)
Kid: Look mom! It's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom!
Mother: Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs?
Kid: (mockingly) Come on, Bird Man, flap your wings and fly!
(Mom and kid laugh as SpongeBob keeps walking.)
Fish 1: Hey, Bird Man, goin' to check on your eggs?
Negative Nancy: Maybe he's looking for a statue to poop on!
(SpongeBob keeps walking, ignoring them. Suddenly, he is startled by another person who gets right in his face, making chicken noises. There's now a larger crowd of people around, everyone laughs at SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams!
Fat Mommy Fish: (stereotypical-looking housewife holding two baby fish, husband right next to her holding another baby fish) You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?
Fish 4: I was supposed to be a concert pianist, until I realized, I didn't have any fingers.
Fish 5: We all had dreams.
Negative Nancy: What makes you so special?
Whole crowd: Let's get him!!!
(The crowd of people take off after SpongeBob, holding torches and pitchforks. He runs off the side of a cliff.)
SpongeBob: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fish 5: Good riddance, dreamer!!
(We see SpongeBob fall into a Mud Removal truck, then get tossed out and over the side when it takes a tight turn around a corner.)
SpongeBob: Well, it can't get any worse. (He falls into a Feather Delivery truck, getting covered with feathers that stuck to the mud.) I guess I spoke too soon.
French Narrator: Will SpongeBob learn to fly? Stay tuned...

(Cut to SpongeBob's house. He's looking out his bathroom window at the jellyfish, a towel wrapped around his head and waist.)
SpongeBob: There they go again, Gary. Uuhh...I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life. Oh well, I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true. (slips some pants on) Back to reality.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: No, Gary, my dreams are silly. (He pulls off the towel on his head and begins to blow-dry his hair/head. The phone rings, he sticks the dryer into his pants.) Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom! What?! No, I certainly do not live in a bird cage! Who is this? (meanwhile, his pants are filling up with air) Joe Mama. Well listen up, Joe. I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible! (floats to ceiling, hits his head) I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary! I-I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!
(SpongeBob's pineapple house opens up, letting him float out. The kid and his mother from earlier see him.)
Kid: Mom, look! It's the flying guy! (music starts playing)
Mother: Wow! I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all!
SpongeBob: I'm flying, I'm flying!
People: (singing) He's flying, he's flying! He's really, really flying!
SpongeBob: (singing) They laughed, they scoffed, before I had lift off.
People: But now he's flying, he's flying high in the skyyyyyy...
SpongeBob: I'd love to hang around to say "I told you so", but it's off to Jellyfish Fields I goooooo...(flies toward Jellyfish Fields) Roads and streets are not for me...(spots Mrs. Puff staring up a coral tree)
Mrs. Puff: Help! Please Help! My snail is up a treeeee. I've had her since I was a little giiiiirl...but now it looks like the end of her wooooorld. (branch snaps, snail starts falling) NOOOO!! (SpongeBob flies over and catches the snail, just in time.)
SpongeBob: (speaking) Gotcha! Next time, try the elevator.
Mrs. Puff: (speaking) Thank you, Bird Man!
(SpongeBob flies off and starts singing again.)
SpongeBob: I have never felt so free, (flies alongside an airplane, startling a passenger, making him reach for the oxygen mask) high in the sky is the place for me. Helping friends, from up above... These are the things that I loooove. (we see a dime on top of a building, Mr. Krabs is on the ground) I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his diiime...(hands dime to Mr. Krabs)
Mr. Krabs: I'm rich!
(Next, we see Patrick standing near a mime.)
SpongeBob: ...And I'll save Patrick from this miiiime.
Patrick: Thanks, buddy!
SpongeBob: (flies over the ground) Even Plankton needs some help, when he gets tangled in the ke-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ellllp. (removes Plankton from some tangled grass and holds him up)
Plankton: Please put me down.

(Cut to Realistic Fish Head announcing a news headline on tv.)
Realistic Fish Head: All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people.
Bystander1: He found my hairpiece!
Kid: He helps people...and he flies...a-and, he helps people.
Realistic Fish Head: Who knows what super-hero act of courage he'll astound us with next.

(Cut to a coastal scene where a lighthouse has just gone dark.)
Fish 6: Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon Lighthouse went out, and sailor Jenkins is headed for the coast line!
Sailor Jenkins: I-I-I'm glad I gave up farmin'!
SpongeBob: I'm comin'! (He flies down to lighthouse and changes the giant bulb, then switches it back on, just in time so Sailor Jenkins turns his boat around. A small crowd of people cheer.)
Fish 6: Thanks, mysterious flying man!
(Jenkins' boat hits a rock in the water, making him sink.)
Sailor Jenkins: III knew no good would come from city folk and their flyin' machines...(goes under the water)
SpongeBob: (walking on the ground) That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.
(Suddenly Mr. Krabs comes up to him.)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!
SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish. If I keep doing favors for people, I'll never get to make my dreams a reality. (walks away)
Mr. Krabs: But, SpongeBob, it's an emergency!
(SpongeBob stops in his tracks, his pants immediately inflate.)
SpongeBob: Let's roll. (flies with Mr. Krabs in his arms) Where to, Mr. K?
Mr. Krabs: Uhh...my garage.
SpongeBob: You got it. (lands in front of Mr. Krabs' garage) What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you're up for it, boy?
SpongeBob: I think my pants can handle it.
Mr. Krabs: I need you...
SpongeBob: Yes?
Mr. Krabs: To clean...
SpongeBob: Clean up crime?
Mr. Krabs: ...my garage.
SpongeBob: (pants deflate) That's your emergency?
Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob, everybody knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!
SpongeBob: All right, Mr. Krabs, I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors. (pants inflate)
(Cut to SpongeBob flying out of the garage.)
SpongeBob: All done, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: And the recyclables?
SpongeBob: Aw, shrimp. (goes back in garage)

(Cut to SpongeBob flying off fast through the sky.)
SpongeBob: Finally! Jellyfish fields, here I come!!!
Patrick: (off camera) SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Patrick's in trouble.
(We see Patrick lying in the middle of a street.)
Patrick: SpongeBob, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: What is it, buddy?!
Patrick: Will you scratch my tummy? (SpongeBob gets a disturbed look on his face, but obliges. Patrick sighs. Many others start to ask him favors, which he begrudgingly does.)
Larry: Help me...pick out a tie?
Squidward: Clean my bathtub?
Mrs. Puff: Balance my checkbook.
Plankton: Help spread the word of evil?
Fish 7: Untangle my phone cord?
Fish 1: Do my Geometry?
Negative Nancy: Talk to my plants.
Dennis: Rub my scalp? (SpongeBob rubs his head.) Mmm...Oh, yeah!
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!!! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now, but instead, I'm rubbing your scalp! And I don't even know who you are.
Dennis: But, we went to elementary school together.
SpongeBob: Dennis? (continues rubbing)
Dennis: Mmm...oh yeah!

(Cut to somewhere outside, a crowd of people are searching for SpongeBob.)
Fish 1: SpongeBob!
Kid: SpongeBob!
(Several random bystanders call out to SpongeBob. SpongeBob is seen hiding behind a rock.)
SpongeBob: If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish.
(As he floats away, the kid spots him.)
Kid: Hey, there he is! He's getting away!
Fish 8: No, he ows us favors!
Kid: GET HIM!!!
(The crowd starts running after SpongeBob. They chase him over downtown Bikini Bottom, but then have to stop when they reach the edge of a cliff.)
Crowd: Get back here!
SpongeBob: I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!
Fish 5: He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!!
Cannonball Jenkins: (off camera) IIII'll take care of this! (we see Jenkins inside a cannon, ready to shoot out of it)
Crowd: (off camera) It's Cannonball Jenkins!!
(Jenkins shoots out of the cannon, hitting SpongeBob in the air, making quite the dramatic explosion. Jenkins parachutes back down to the ground, while SpongeBob falls, lifeless.)
Cannonball Jenkins: IIII told ya nothin' good would come from city folk and their flyin' machines!
(The crowd watches SpongeBob fall to the ground, then slowly gathers around him. Cue sad violin music.)
Fred: What have we done? (sobs) Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. (grabs SpongeBob's pants) A pair of pants like these come around once in a lifetime.
(The crowd walks off with the pants, SpongeBob sits up.)
SpongeBob: Well, it was fun while it lasted. I guess I'm not meant to fly, after all. (He walks over to where there's a bunch of jellyfish floating around and sighs, then walks away again. As he's walking, the jellyfish suddenly go beneath his feet, lifting him into the air.) Huh?! (music starts) Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly...without pants! I guess it just goes to show... (starts singing as the jellyfish carry him all throughout the town)
You don't need a plane to fly,
Plastic wings may make you cry.
Kites are made for windy days,
Lawn chair with balloons fly away.
Inflatable paaaaants, you may as well skiiiiiiip... (the crowd is seen at a funeral for the pants)
If you want to fly, all you need,
Is friendship. Yeah.
(The jellyfish drop him off at his house.)
SpongeBob: Goodbye jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although, I'm not quite sure what it was.
Patrick: (coming up to SpongeBob) Hey, let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice!
SpongeBob: No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. (walks to his front door)
Patrick: Suit yourself. (puts his arm out in front of him and flies off)
SpongeBob: (confused look on his face, but not looking in Patrick's direction) Did Patrick just...Da-a-a-a-a!! Naaaw. (goes inside and shuts the front door behind him, then opens it again and peeks around the door, into the sky)
End