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Don't Wake Patrick

Episode Info
Typed By: kite man

[We open to SpongeBob’s house at night.]

(A light turns off on the upper floor. SpongeBob walks to his bed, yawns, and scratches his back. He jumps in bed, puts on a nightcap, fluffs his pillow, and begins to sleep. A moment later, he leans straight up and realizes his lips are dry. He smacks them a few times.

[Zoom to inside SpongeBob’s mouth.]

(A tumbleweed rolls across SpongeBob’s visibly dry tongue. A group of microorganisms is leaving, as one tosses a pitchfork on the ground and gets in a truck that drives away.)

[Cut back to SpongeBob.]

(SpongeBob breathes out, and he makes a nasty expression at the smell of his own breath. He jiggles out of bed, and begins to walk downstairs. As he walks, he stops for a moment.)
SpongeBob: Oops.
(He pushes an off-center plant to the center of the table.)
SpongeBob: Doink!
(A ding sound effect plays. He continues to walk while humming. As he gets a glass of water and drinks it, his eyes grow large and he spits the water out. He walks to the fridge, door wide open.)
SpongeBob: I don’t remember leaving the fridge open.
(We hear a crash. SpongeBob closes the fridge to figure out what the noise was. His living room is a mess.)
SpongeBob: Huh, I don’t remember making such a mess.
(Spaghetti falls on his nose.)
SpongeBob: …and I’m pretty sure I didn’t eat spaghetti.
(He opens his chest, revealing fries, a drink, a patty, and a lit candle.)
SpongeBob: Nope.
(He shoves the spaghetti in and closes his chest. Another crash is heard, and we see various shots of the room. SpongeBob cautiously approaches the noise, and it becomes more audible, sounding like moaning. SpongeBob hides next to the opening to the stairs. A menacing shadow walks down the stairs, as SpongeBob gets more and more nervous. We then see it’s just Patrick, sleepwalking.)
SpongeBob: Oh, hey Patrick.
(Patrick continues walking, not acknowledging SpongeBob. SpongeBob runs, following Patrick. He gets in front of him and waves his arms.)
SpongeBob: Wake up, Patrick!
(Patrick yawns, still walking. SpongeBob grabs a hold of Patrick‚Äôs pants, but he lets go. Patrick is flung forward as he ‚Äúlays down‚ÄĚ in midair for a moment, before somersaulting on the ground. He continues to walk. SpongeBob approaches Patrick, banging a pot with a stick. He walks around Patrick, bangs the pot in his face, and blows and airhorn, but Patrick still sleepwalks. SpongeBob jumps onto Patrick and pulls his eyelids open, but he falls off as Patrick continues. SpongeBob takes his alarm clock, sets it to full volume, and one of the hands forward. The horn causes a massive sound wave. Even though Patrick walks forward, the sound makes him stay in place and his face shrivels in his head.

[Cut to outside SpongeBob’s house.]

(We see the sound waves leave SpongeBob’s pineapple. They set off a car alarm, and we can see the light from Squidward’s house and several background buildings turn on. Patrick is unaffected, and he growls and walks forward, scratching his back. He knocks over SpongeBob’s kitchen door. He starts a toaster, takes a stick of butter and shoves it in, and eats the entire toaster. He rubs his tummy. The two pieces of toast jump out of his mouth, but he eats them again. He walks to the fridge and opens it. His body enters through the bottom shelf, yet his head appears up top. He eats a carton, smashes a dozen of eggs on his butt, and stands up, head still inside the fridge, as the fridge stays on top of him. He smashes through the wall, as SpongeBob watches him throw the fridge in another wall. Patrick walks through the hole, going outside. SpongeBob follows. Several fish are driving cars across a road, and Patrick begins to walk toward it. SpongeBob, alarmed, runs up to Patrick, who begins to cross the road. Someone barely misses him. When SpongeBob tries to cross, he gets hit several times and lands on the other side. As he tries to get up, Patrick steps on him. He walks toward a building. SpongeBob’s eyes spit out sand, and he looks up and jumps in shock.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, no!
(He moves his legs in midair, and runs to stop Patrick. Patrick shoves his head against the door, and walks against it for a moment. Inside the home, Patrick knocks the door open. Patrick walks again, as SpongeBob runs in.
SpongeBob: D’ohp!
(He runs forward as Patrick walks past some snoring elderly fish. SpongeBob runs past, looks back, makes a worried expression, and runs toward Patrick again. Patrick moves toward a large pile of glass vases and knick-knacks, but SpongeBob turns him away from them, letting out a sigh of relief. He begins running again though, as Patrick bumps into a table with a vase on it. The vase jumps into the air, but SpongeBob catches it. Patrick makes loud noises again, causing SpongeBob to run up and throw the vase away, breaking it. We then see that Patrick is making various loud noises in front of the sleeping fish. One of them wakes up momentarily, when SpongeBob jumps up and wraps his arms around Patrick’s mouth, shushing him. SpongeBob slides down, and the fish falls back asleep. SpongeBob slaps Patrick’s butt, making him move forward.)
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
(SpongeBob wipes the sweat off his forehead.)
SpongeBob: ‚ÄėShoo.
(The lights turn on.)
Fish: WHAT THE!?...
(SpongeBob gets kicked out the window of the building. We can see Patrick is still sleepwalking. He steps over SpongeBob again, causing him to bounce up and down like an accordion. SpongeBob holds on to Patrick as he moves toward a scent that pleases him. SpongeBob smells it himself, and makes a disgusted expression.)
SpongeBob: Blegh!
(The scent punches SpongeBob in the face. His nose pops out, deflated. As Patrick follows the scent, we see it is coming from behind the Chum Bucket. He goes inside, body fully on front door, and walks toward a pot of chum. He begins to lift and tilt the pot, before SpongeBob comes in.
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, no!
(SpongeBob does many crazy antics to keep the pot away from Patrick, desperately trying to get it back. Patrick wiggles him tongue on SpongeBob‚Äôs head, making him laugh. Because of this, the chum balanced on SpongeBob‚Äôs toe falls into his own mouth. He swallows it whole, causing him to wince in pain, and breathe out a skull-shaped scent. It breathes back in SpongeBob‚Äôs face. SpongeBob looks around and realizes Patrick is missing. Patrick walks up to a dance studio, and SpongeBob follows him inside. SpongeBob sits down in the studio with a bucket of popcorn, as Patrick does a dance routine on a lit part of the stage. After Patrick walks off, SpongeBob‚Äôs eyes tear up as he applauds. Patrick walks outside and slips on a banana peel, making him skid straight into Glove World. He hits a track for a ride called ‚ÄúNeck Breaker‚ÄĚ, and he spreads his legs and moves along the track like an actual coaster car. SpongeBob runs up, waves to call a car like a taxi, and boards the car. SpongeBob follows Patrick through a series of hills and drops. SpongeBob, getting covered by Patrick‚Äôs spit, tries to reach for him. Once they hit a loop, SpongeBob grabs only Patrick‚Äôs pants. Patrick falls straight down, and lands back in his pants being held by SpongeBob. SpongeBob becomes stretched as the car and Patrick separate from each other. SpongeBob is then forced to hold on to Patrick as the car jumps on the track behind them. As the sparks fly, it falls off the track. SpongeBob and Patrick zoom atop a tall hill, and they go down, fire on the tracks. SpongeBob screams as they descend, and Patrick‚Äôs hung-out tongue fills SpongeBob‚Äôs mouth. One hill sends them flying off the track and straight back at Patrick‚Äôs house. SpongeBob gets up and positions Patrick toward his house, which then opens up. Patrick walks forward, but he stubs his toe on a pebble, finally waking him up.)
SpongeBob: Oh, brother…
(SpongeBob falls asleep and walks away as Patrick jumps in the air, holding his foot. Patrick notices SpongeBob sleepwalking toward the same road mentioned earlier.)
Patrick: Ah, he’ll be fine.
(He jumps onto the underside of his rock, puts his thumb in his mouth, and the rock closes. The episode ends with several car horn sounds followed by multiple crashes as the screen shakes.)
End