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Frankendoodle



Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: sireatsalot

(Scene opens as live-action shot of a man on a simple boat at sea with an easel and pencil.)
French Narrator: Well, well. What is this? Ah…the artist at sea. Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle. (a bell dings) Oh, it seems inspiration has struck. (The artist mumbles to himself as he frantically draws something, then the pencil slips out of his hand and lands in the water.)
Artist: My pencil!
French Narrator: The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea- always bring a spare pencil.
Artist: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
(We see the pencil fall toward the ocean floor, where SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting outside SpongeBob’s house blowing bubbles.)
SpongeBob: Ok. Ready, Patrick? One…
Patrick: Two…
SpongeBob and Patrick: Three!
SpongeBob: Scissors beats paper, Patrick! (both laugh)
SpongeBob: One…
SpongeBob and Patrick: Two…
SpongeBob: Three! Patrick, how come you always do paper?
(We see their bubble papers float up, and the pencil falls through them, landing in the ground between SpongeBob and Patrick. They get up and run around it, screaming, then hide behind SpongeBob’s house.)
Patrick: What is that thing, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: It looks like a giant pencil.
Patrick: Go touch it.
(SpongeBob stretches his hand out from where he’s hiding and touches it.)
SpongeBob: It is a giant pencil, Patrick! (runs up to it) Let’s draw some giant pictures with it!
Patrick: (now standing behind SpongeBob) Whatcha drawin’?
SpongeBob: Stand back, Patrick! I can’t draw with you breathing down my neck.
Patrick: Psshh. Artists.
SpongeBob: It’s a jellyfish.
Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob…but it’s lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
SpongeBob: Eh, everybody’s a critic. (His drawing of a jellyfish gets up off the ground and starts swimming away.)
Patrick: SpongeBob, your drawing’s coming to life!
SpongeBob: Now, that’s more like it, Mr. Critic.
Patrick: No! I mean it’s swimming away!
SpongeBob: Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.
SpongeBob: It means we found a magic pencil!
Patrick: (clapping) Now all I need is a magic moustache, and all my dreams will have come true.
SpongeBob: Dahahaha! Comin’ right up! (draws a moustache on Patrick’s face)
Patrick: Life is good!! (the moustache swims away) Easy come, easy go.
(Patrick’s moustache is seen swimming toward an open window at Squidward’s house.)
Squidward: (inside his bedroom) Squidward, if you had some hair, you’d be the most gorgeous creature in the sea! You’ve got looks, talent, all you need is a full head of… (the moustache lands on his head) hair!
Patrick: My turn!
SpongeBob: Be careful, Patrick. Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. (cradling the pencil) Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.
Patrick: Come on! I was just gonna draw a cartoon.
SpongeBob: Ok! Why didn’tcha say so? (Patrick draws something.) Hey! Another jellyfish!
Patrick: It’s Squidward, silly!
(The drawing gets up and grumbles at them.)
SpongeBob: It’s kinda creepy lookin’ when it moves.
Patrick: Ew, you’re right, SpongeBob. (the drawing walks away)
SpongeBob: We can’t let it go into town! (Patrick erases it)
Patrick: Poor Squidward.
SpongeBob: (grabbing the pencil from Patrick) Hey! My brain just hatched an idea! (They run off, laughing.)
(SpongeBob draws a picture of a dollar bill on Squidward’s door mat, also drawing a string attached to it and hides behind Squidward’s house.)
SpongeBob: This is gonna be classic!
Squidward: (wearing the moustache as a wig) I think I fancy a stroll around the park.
(doorbell rings)
SpongeBob: (off camera) Oh, Squidward!
Squidward: (coming out his front door) What do you want? (notices the dollar bill on the mat) Hello…what’s this? Someone left me some money for a perm. (SpongeBob and Patrick giggle) Come to Hairy! (As Squidward reaches for the bill, SpongeBob yanks it away. Squidward falls on his face and the moustache wig flies off. SpongeBob and Patrick burst out laughing.) SpongeBob! Ooh, my hair! SpongeBob!!! (goes back inside and slams the door)
SpongeBob: Wait! I’ve got another idea. This’ll be the ultimate prank! I’ll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door…it won’t be me!! (SpongeBob draws a doodle of himself, Patrick laughs. The drawing stands up.) Aww, look at ‘im. Ain’t he a doll? All he needs is a tie. (draws a tie on the doodle) Ready for action!
(DoodleBob makes some unintelligible sounds, then heads toward Squidward’s house.)
Patrick: He’s going to the door.
(DoodleBob knocks)
SpongeBob: He’s knocking on the door! An’ Squidward’s answering the door! Aaand…
(DoodleBob grabs Squidward, turns him upside down, and proceeds to bash his head on the ground, repeatedly.)
Squidward: Ooh! Ow, ow! Ow, ow-ow-ow!
Patrick: He’s beating up Squidward! Ha ha ha!
SpongeBob: Doodle boy! Stop!!
(The doodle throws Squidward into his house, then proceeds to run around, saying unintelligible things, grabs the pencil from SpongeBob, and runs off.)
Patrick: He’s got the pencil.
SpongeBob: What have I done! We’ve gotta find him.

(Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick searching for the doodle in some obscure place.)
SpongeBob: Where could he possibly be?
Patrick: Maybe he’s in that poorly drawn pineapple.
SpongeBob: Come on! Let’s go.
(Patrick jumps into a bush.)
Patrick: I’m not goin’ in there.
(SpongeBob jumps into the same bush.)
SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick, I’m right behind you. Baby steps. (They walk toward the doodle pineapple house, still inside the bush.) Almost there…
(Suddenly, the door to the house opens and DoodleBob reaches out and draws a hole in the ground. SpongeBob and Patrick fall in.)
SpongeBob and Patrick: Aaaaaahhhhh!!
Patrick: What just happened?
(DoodleBob appears at the top of the hole, holding the pencil, and talking unintelligibly again.)
SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick, give me a boost up.
Patrick: Can’t we just stay down here where it’s safe?
SpongeBob: No way. I created this monster, and I’ve gotta stop him. (A large wrench suddenly falls on Patrick’s head, and we can hear DoodleBob speaking again.) See what I mean, Patrick?
Patrick: (with an out-of-it look on his face) Where’s the leak, ma’am?
(Now we see SpongeBob and Patrick peek out from the top of the hole, as DoodleBob draws a bowling ball on a rock. He picks it up and bowls it toward them, hitting Patrick who now looks like a bowling pin. When it hits him, we see a bunch of pink bowling pins fly in the air, then fall into the hole. A red “X” appears in the upper right corner of the screen, signifying a strike. Then the bowling ball falls into the hole, and another red “X” appears next to the first one.)
SpongeBob: You ok, Patrick?
Patrick: (off camera) Finland!
(DoodleBob babbles again and holds the pencil victoriously over his head, then he runs off. We now see SpongeBob and Patrick sneak up near a large rock, where DoodleBob is on the other side, running around.)
SpongeBob: There he is.
Patrick: He’s hideous. He makes me sick just lookin’ at ‘im. Those big, bulgy eyes. That square body. (SpongeBob is looking at Patrick weirdly as he talks.) Those two buck teeth… and that stupid tie!
SpongeBob: (clearing his throat) Uh…hem.
Patrick: (blushing) Oh, but it looks good on you, SpongeBob! Eh, heh heh.
SpongeBob: (turning his attention back to DoodleBob) He’s puttin’ down the pencil! This is our chance! On the count of three, we’ll jump out and surprise ‘im.
Patrick: Oh boy! A surprise party! Is it his birthday?
(Suddenly, DoodleBob bursts through the rock between SpongeBob and Patrick. He picks up SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick!! Do something!!!
Patrick: Happy birthday! (DoodleBob tosses SpongeBob off screen.) Here’s your present! (Patrick hands DoodleBob a rock, which DoodleBob slams on his head.) You’re welcome.
(DoodleBob begins to walk away, when he’s stopped by SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: (holding the pencil, eraser side pointed at DoodleBob) Hold it right there, Doodle. I brought you into this world, and now I’m gonna take you out. Any last words? (DoodleBob rattles off something unintelligible) Eh, I’m sorry, what was that? (DoodleBob repeats his jibberish, slower this time, then jumps up and rattles off some more while SpongeBob erases his face. DoodleBob then runs into a rock.) Hold still, Doodle. This is for your own good! Take that! And this! And this, and that! And this, that, this, that! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! (holds up the pencil over his head, victoriously) I am SpongeBob, destroyer of evillll!!
Patrick: Take it easy, it’s just a drawing.
SpongeBob: Well, that takes care of that, eh Patrick?
Patrick: Done and done!
(SpongeBob and Patrick walk off camera, an arm from DoodleBob crawls out from behind a rock.)

(Cut to SpongeBob’s house at night.)
SpongeBob: Gee, Gary, you shoulda been there. It sure was exciting! But ya know? I kinda miss the little doodle. He was like a son to me. But I am glad that things are back to normal. (Camera widens to reveal half of SpongeBob’s room has been re-drawn with his pencil.) Well, goodnight, sweet prince. (Gary has a doodle crown on his head.)
Gary: Meooow.
SpongeBob: Good night magic pencil. (tucks it in next to him and starts snoring)
(We now see the arm of DoodleBob creeping up to SpongeBob’s house, going through the front door, and up to SpongeBob’s room, stopping in the bathroom first. A toilet flushes. The arm grabs the pencil, then re-draws the rest of DoodleBob.)
SpongeBob: (only noticing the pencil moving by itself) Oh, hey magic pencil. What are you doin’ up? Drawing yourself a glass of water? Dahahahah!!! (notices DoodleBob) Aahh!! DoodleBob! Eh, heh heh…no hard feelings, right? (DoodleBob draws himself some angry eyebrows, then hops on SpongeBob’s bed.) AAAHH!! What do ya think you’re doing, Doodle?
DoodleBob: You doodle! Me SpongeBob! (tries to erase SpongeBob)
(DoodleBob chases SpongeBob around, trying to erase him, meanwhile erasing part of the pineapple. SpongeBob is screaming, DoodleBob is babbling in his typical jibberish. SpongeBob runs downstairs and into his front room, slamming the door. DoodleBob erases the door, also erasing the backside of SpongeBob’s pants, exposing his bum.)
DoodleBob: (noticing SpongeBob’s bare backside) Huh? (erases bum crack, speaks unintelligibly again)
SpongeBob: (backing away from DoodleBob) Aaahh! Be careful with that thing! Who knows what’ll happen? (DoodleBob erases his nose.) I knows.
(DoodleBob frantically erases all over SpongeBob, leaving him only one arm, leg, and eye, and half a body. DoodleBob laughs at him.)
SpongeBob: Very funny, Doodle. Now it’s my turn! (SpongeBob grabs for the pencil, they struggle with it, it finally breaks in half, SpongeBob getting the top half. He redraws himself.) Well, Doodle, it looks like this…is a draw! (points the pencil at DoodleBob, DoodleBob sharpens his half in his mouth) You’ve made your point. No matter. I was voted most artistic in high school. (accidentally flicks his pencil out the window)
Squidward: (off camera) Ouch!! SpongeBob, you’re gonna pay for that!
SpongeBob: Uh, maybe it was most clumsy.
(DoodleBob moves toward SpongeBob who is screaming. He backs into a bookshelf, loose papers fall out onto the floor. DoodleBob is babbling again.)
DoodleBob: (stepping on a paper) Huh? (more unintelligible babble as he tries to get unstuck from the paper)
SpongeBob: Hah? Paper! Page for Mr. Doodle! (slams a book shut on DoodleBob)
(Close up of the paper where DoodleBob now is; he smiles. SpongeBob pins up the paper on the wall.)
Patrick: (coming in the front door) Hey SpongeBob, what’s with all the ruckus?
SpongeBob: Take a look for yourself, Patrick. (points at paper)
Patrick: It’s the evil doodle!
SpongeBob: No, no…not evil. He was just a two-dimensional creature lost in our three-dimensional, aquatic world. Longing for a purpose.
Patrick: So…he’s a drawing?
SpongeBob: Exactly! See how happy he is?
Patrick: He still looks kinda creepy.

(Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick outside, SpongeBob holds up the pencil which is put back together with a bandage.)
SpongeBob: Oh great, magic pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So, I will send you back to the magic kingdom, from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?
(SpongeBob is standing on a drawing of a diving board, Patrick is on the ground below, lying on his back.)
Patrick: Ready! (SpongeBob drops the pencil into Patrick’s mouth, then jumps off the diving board onto Patrick’s stomach, launching the pencil to the surface.)

(Cut to the surface where we see the artist lying in a fetal position in his boat.)
French Narrator: We rejoin the artist, in a creative slump.
(pencil shoots out from under the water and into the boat)
Artist: Huh? Wh-what’s this? My pencil!! (He goes to draw on the easel and the pencil tip breaks.)
French Narrator: The second most important rule for the artist at sea- Always bring a pencil sharpener.
Artist: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
End