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If I Could Talk To Money

If I could talk to money,
How great my life would be.
We'd tell each other secrets,
All their friends would visit me.

I'd bathe in filthy riches,
Which is clean enough for me.
Oh, if you could tell me what you want,
How happy we would be!

We'd surely be the best of friends,
We'd never disagree.
There couldn't be a downside,
Not one that I could see.

If I could talk to money,
Come along, sing with me.

Squidward: Uh, no thanks, I got to go.
SpongeBob: I really have to pee.

If I could talk to money,
And it could talk to me!
We'd always be the best of friends,
For all eternity!