Moxley♥
We out here in heaven, smoking big doinks in heave
Episode 1: Written by: Aya, Date: April 26th, 2016
Episode 2: Written by: Cha, Date: May 6th, 2016
Episode 3: Written by: Aya, Date: May 9th, 2016
Episode 4: Written by: Cha, Date: May 9th, 2016
Episode 5: Written by: Aya, Date: May 10th, 2016
Gintoki and Katsura gaffed at the sight of their friend on Elizabeth's sign.
"As if he could actually help us Elizabeth!" Katsura chuckled, patting the alien on the back. Before Katsura was finished chuckling, Gintoki shushed him.
"Oi, do you hear that, Zura?" Gintoki and Katsura got closer to the giant hole in the wall and listened. The two heard the most dreaded sound in the world, a distant annoying laughter.
"This is really bad, really really bad. He's going to destroy the entire tower!" Gintoki hurriedly scrambled through the penthouse looking for Ozu, "OI, OLD BAG, WHERE ARE YOU WITH MY MONEY, I'VE GOT TO...UH...SEE MY GRANDMA IN THE HOSPITAL!" Gintoki rushed through various rooms, with no luck. He opened the bedroom with the sick ::dolphin noise:: door and saw Kagura and Kiyoko. Kagura had her leg and her hand through the wall, while Kiyoko was sitting on the bed with a stunned look on her face. "KAGURAAAAAAA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Gin's voiced cracked as it went high pitch.
"I was trying to eat my seaweed, but this old hag wouldn't let me uh-huh." Kagura finally managed to get her limbs extracted from the wall, leaving bigger holes. She grabbed the back of the manga and ate it.
"We have to go, now. Where is your husband?!" Gin tried to shake Kiyoko out of shock. The horror of her beloved penthouse being destroyed by these freaks had sent her into a deep thought. "OI, WHERE IS HE?!" the laughing was getting louder. Gintoki left her and grabbed Kagura by the arm and dragged her into the living room with Shinpachi and the others.
"Gin-san! Did you find Ozu?" Shinpachi questioned.
"I'm sorry, brace for impact men... As the old proverb goes, mikka bouzu, a monk for only three days. We must give into our fate." Gin opened his arms wide as the Kaientai was heading directly for the penthouse.
"OI, YOU CAN'T GIVE UP THAT EASILY, STOP HIM YOU IDIOTS!" Shinpachi screamed at Gintoki and Katsura.
"If we must, I'm sorry Sakamoto." Katsura uttered before him and Gintoki lounged heroically at the ship. They both landed right on the nose, where Sakamoto was standing.
"Ahahaha! Kintoki, Katsura! Long time no see!" He laughed and hugged his fellow samurai.
"So long that you've still forgotten my name. Listen Tatsuma, you need to turn this thing around. We have a lot riding on this job and we don't need any more constructional damage." Gintoki said we a slight edge of annoyance.
"Oh? Alright then, but first I was asked to help with the cleaning! Hmm, let me just park this thing..." Sakamoto attempted to guide his ship to find a parking spot. "Ahahaha! This one is perfect!" he drove the ship right into the hole that was created by Sadaharu.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Gintoki's voiced nearly exploded as the Kaientai was now jutting into the penthouse. Mutsu slapped Sakamoto and stepped on him.
"My apologizes, you know how brain dead he is." Mutsu continued to crush him. The Gintama gang all stopped when they heard the office door open and the graying old owner of the penthouse stepped in.
"So, how is the cleanin...." Ozu looked up to see his entire place trashed and destroyed. He fainted on the spot.
"OZU-SAN!" Shinpachi ran over to him to check if he was ok. "He's still alive, but just knocked out." Shinpachi put him on the couch, one of the only clean places in the house. Gintoki's brain started to work now.
"Ok, this is going to be a stretch, but if we fix this whole mess before he wakes up, he might just think of this as a bad dream." Gintoki said with confidence.
"AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO PUSH THIS ENTIRE SHIP!?" Shinpachi squealed.
"Tsk, tsk, Shinpachi-kun, have you forgotten that we have two of the strongest race of aliens here with us?" Gintoki pointed at Kagura and Mutsu. "The ship is barely in the penthouse anyway." As he said this, Kagura and Mutsu pushed the ship just enough to make it fall to the ground below where it landed on Yoshi, but Yes-Man got out of the way.
"AHHH! MY SHIP!!" Sakamoto was absolutely beside himself. "All my paperwork...all my trading goods..." Sakamoto curled up into a ball and sat in the corner.
"So now we just clean?" Elizabeth held up a sign. Gintoki and Kagura grabbed a giant, cartoon sized piece of white paper and glued it over the hole.
"OI, THAT ISN'T CLEANING OR FOOLING ANYONE!" Shinpachi was trying to straighten out his team, but to no avail.
"You know, I think it looks fine, just add this here....and there we go!" Katsura drew a doodle of a poorly drawn window on the sheet of paper. Shinpachi screamed even more at this action.
"What is all the noise now?!" Guano finally came out of hiding to witness the absolutely disgusting scene. "I...I'm telling on you guys! You're not getting paid at all!" This struck a nerve in Gintoki.
'Won't get paid?! That's the only reason we're doing this stupid job in the first place, we can't let him tell.' Gintoki thought.
'That's right, we need to capture him and silence, uh-huh.' Kagura added in her thought.
"Hey little fuzzy guy, I got some...uh...director stuff over here..." Gintoki tried to sound convincing, but failed.
"Oh, like what?" he fell for it. Kagura and Gintoki grabbed Guano and tied him up to a chair and put duct-tape over his mouth. He screamed, but they were muffled.
"Ok, now we can actually clean." Gintoki declared, but he was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Oi, this is the police, we heard a lot of commotion up here and we just wanted to check if everything is ok."
The group looked at the door in a stunned horror.
TBC
Episode 6: Written by: Cha, Date: May 11th, 2016
Episode 7: Written by: Aya, Date: May 14th, 2016
Episode 8: Written by: Cha, Date: May 14, 2016
Episode 9: Written by: Aya, Date: May 14th, 2016
"Hey Gonard...where the hell are we?" Yamazaki nudged his newly found buddy. Gonard was confused as well, he looked around the room. It was solid concrete, cold, and very dark. The only light that was present was the swaying light bulb above them. "We've been here for what feels like an hour." Yamazaki said. The two were sitting in chairs, and table in front of them. They were not refrained, but decided to just sit anyway, since it was better than the cold ground they awoke on.
"I have no idea Zaki, all I know is that I'm super hungry." Gonard said, while his stomach roared.
"We just ate!" Yamazaki said, pointing out the mayonnaise that was on Gonard's lips. "Man...mayonnasie. I hope Vice-Chief is alright." Yamazaki said worrying about his superior. Suddenly a door burst open and two men entered.
"Ki...KIHEITAI!" Yamazaki yelled. It was revealed to be Bansai and Takasugi. "Didn't we arrest you?!" Yamazaki said pointing at Takasugi.
"Did you honestly think you loser Shinsengumi could really hold me in custody that long? I should kill you on the spot." Takasugi drew his katana and held it right in front of Yamazaki's face. "In all the confusion that happened in the penthouse, Bansai helped me escape. That blue haired ditz didn't even try to stop me, neither did that low life Sakamoto." Takasugi said.
"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DITZ!" Gonard stood up but was smacked by Bansai's guitar. "Hey! That hurt man." Gonard rubbed his cheek. While all the commotion was happening Yamazaki started to reach for his katana, but found nothing.
"Tsk, you actually thought we'd let you keep your katana." Takasugi said making a small cut on Yamazaki's nose. He winced in pain. "You're going to make nice trophies for my gang." Takasugi gave a slight laughter before sheathing his sword.
The scene panned over to the restaurant. Sougo and the others gave their order. He looked over and saw his boss.
"Kondou-san? I thought you were on clean up duty at the house?" Sougo said handing his menu to the mustached man.
"Sougo! I'm finally on a date with Otae, I DID IT!" he put his arms around the large alien. Elizabeth let out the classic noise. "Look at the cute noises she makes!" Kondou was absolutely love struck. The "waiter" looked over at Elizabeth and gave her a small thumbs up.
"OI, WAITER, where the heck is my food." Kagura slammed the table, making it flip on top of her and Lily.
"YOU FREAKIN SPAZZ!" Lily freaked out as the drinks they ordered spilled all over her.
"Waiter janai, Katsura da." his mustache fell of and into Sougo's lap.
"KATSURA!" he whipped out his blaster and shot it at Katsura. He dodged it and made a be-line out of the restaurant, with Sougo in hot pursuit. Elizabeth attempted to get up, but was stopped by Kondou.
"Where are you going Otae? My man has that terrorist under control. Just stay here with me and have a great time!" Kondou said, holding her flipper.
"I'm really freaking hungry." Kagura said, leaving the place with Lily.
"Well, if you hadn't slammed the table, everything would have went swimmingly." Lily said with anger in her voice. Suddenly, Sadaharu and Kiyoko popped out of the lobby of LilyMu Towers and rammed into the studios.
"There they are! Let's go, uh-huh!" Kagura yelled and started to drag Lily with her.
"Stop right there evil-dooer!" Guano leaped up on top of the coffee table. Makato looked up after having cleaned her shoes of the Yes-Man blood. "The Masked Tanuki is he-" before he could finish his sentence, Makato shot him square in the chest, knocking him to the floor. Guano reached for his chest, thinking this was it for him, but luckily, he kept his usual costume on, as it absorbed the bullet's impact. He laid still to fool her.
"Pitiful really." she looked down at Sakamoto to see he too had a gun, a much larger one at that. The two had a stand off for a few moments until the Sakamoto peered past her and saw his ship rising to the hole.
"AHAHAHAHA! MUTSU, YOU REALLY DID IT, THE ABSOLUTE MAD WOMAN! AHAHAHA!" Mutsu was piloting the Kaientai and Gintoki was on the nose of the ship.
"GIN-SAN!" Shinpachi yelled in delight. Just as his grand arrival, it suddenly fell drastically as Hijikata had recovered from his laser injury and leap onto the ship.
"OI, I'VE HAD IT WITH ALL OF YOU, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST THIS TIME SAKATA GINTOKI." Gintoki shoved Hijikata off of the ship and sent him plummeting to the ground below.
"You can't beat both of us White Demon." Takechi said, drawing his sword.
"I have some friends! MIKEY!" Gintoki yelled. Mikey Simon took Ozu's katana and sliced Takechi right in the back, knocking him down. However, knowing Mikey, he was wielding the sword backwards and didn't even cut him at all. Makato shot the blade, and broke it into pieces.
"MIKEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Gintoki yelled. "Oh well, I guess I gotta do it myself. Shinpachi!" Gin tossed Shinpachi his own sword and threw a punch at Takechi, knocking his sword out of his hand. Shinpachi attempted to dodge Makato's bullet and went in for a few more strikes. The battle raged on.
The scene went over to Mitsuki and Jazz sitting in the cool ::dolphin noise:: room.
"You know Jazz, this has been one crazy day, I'm just glad I have some peace and quiet now." Mitsuki sighed with relief.
"You're right Mitsuki-dono." the fish emerged from the bowl in his Garfielf form. She fainted in shock at this horrific sight.
TBC
Episode 10: Written by: Cha, Date: May 16, 2016
Episode 11: Written by: Aya, Date: May 16, 2016
Episode 12: Written by: Cha, Date: May 17, 2016
Episode 13: Written by: Aya, Date, June 2nd, 2016
Episode 14 (The Final Canonical Episode): Written by: Cha, Date: June 2nd, 2016
The phone was ringing through out the Yorozuya's office. Shinpachi was in the restroom, while Kagura and Gintoki were napping.
"OOOOIIIII SOMEBODY PICK UP THE PHONE!" the teenager bellowed from the bathroom. "Whatever, I'll get it." Gin stood up sluggishly and slothed his way over to the phone.
"Yorozuya Gin-Chan, Gin speaking." Gintoki had a look of regret and tiredness on his face.
"Hello, this is Ozu. I have a job for you punks to do. I need you to help me clean my penthouse, and that's it. I've got plenty of money to throw around too." at the sound of that, Kagura and Gin both got a shot of adrenaline. "Well, why didn't you say sooner! We'll be over right away! COME ON SHINPACHI!" Shinpachi was not done.
"Ok, just clean this place, and make sure it's very VERY clean." Ozu had a stern look on his face, the face a father has while telling his son to do a chore. "And then we get those big bucks?" Gin said, now just practically begging. "Yes, you will get the money."
"Alright Old Man, get a move on! The Odd Jobs got this!" it was many hours later and it soon dawned on the three that this was no ordinary penthouse. "I need a break Gin-chan..." Kagura was beat, she laid down on an expensive looking love seat. "Come on Kagura-chan, we can't give up now, we have so much to go." Shinpachi tried to urge her on, but to no avail. "Leave her Pachi-boy, she's a lost soul now..." Gin tipped his head down in sorrow and placed a blanket over her body. "SHE'S NOT DEAD!" Shinpachi was starting to get riled up.
"What's all this ruckus?!" out came a small purple man baby. Gintoki inched closer to Shinpachi, "Wh-what is that thing?!" he whispered in a not so quiet voice. "I have ears you know, they're right here above my FOREHEAD!" the purple beast was angered. "That's the producer's son Gin-san." "Oh...are you sure?" "Yes! I promise that's just a costume." Shinpachi tried to reassure Gintoki, but his morbid curiosity got the best of him, and Kagura too. The two picked up the scrawny director and examined him like an object. "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING! AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" Shinpachi screamed. "I get better, uh-huh." Kagura quickly responded and then proceeded to search for Guano's zipper. "Watch it back there!" Guano was actually enjoying this attention. Gintoki was fed up with him and decided to throw him like a football across the room. "He's got great aerodynamics!" Gintoki remarked. "YOU JUST THREW A HUMAN BEING!" Shinpachi was losing it.
"What's going on out here!?" a woman stepped out of the master bedroom reading a comic book. "Mommy! These mean people were beating me up and calling me names." Guano crawled his mangled body to his mother's feet and begged for help. "You hurt my son?! THAT'S IT!" she grabbed Gintoki and tossed him out the window, mind you the penthouse was on the top floor of LilyMu towers. He was surely dead. "GIN-SAN!" Shinpachi screamed as he ran to look out the window.
TBC
"OOOOIIIII SOMEBODY PICK UP THE PHONE!" the teenager bellowed from the bathroom. "Whatever, I'll get it." Gin stood up sluggishly and slothed his way over to the phone.
"Yorozuya Gin-Chan, Gin speaking." Gintoki had a look of regret and tiredness on his face.
"Hello, this is Ozu. I have a job for you punks to do. I need you to help me clean my penthouse, and that's it. I've got plenty of money to throw around too." at the sound of that, Kagura and Gin both got a shot of adrenaline. "Well, why didn't you say sooner! We'll be over right away! COME ON SHINPACHI!" Shinpachi was not done.
"Ok, just clean this place, and make sure it's very VERY clean." Ozu had a stern look on his face, the face a father has while telling his son to do a chore. "And then we get those big bucks?" Gin said, now just practically begging. "Yes, you will get the money."
"Alright Old Man, get a move on! The Odd Jobs got this!" it was many hours later and it soon dawned on the three that this was no ordinary penthouse. "I need a break Gin-chan..." Kagura was beat, she laid down on an expensive looking love seat. "Come on Kagura-chan, we can't give up now, we have so much to go." Shinpachi tried to urge her on, but to no avail. "Leave her Pachi-boy, she's a lost soul now..." Gin tipped his head down in sorrow and placed a blanket over her body. "SHE'S NOT DEAD!" Shinpachi was starting to get riled up.
"What's all this ruckus?!" out came a small purple man baby. Gintoki inched closer to Shinpachi, "Wh-what is that thing?!" he whispered in a not so quiet voice. "I have ears you know, they're right here above my FOREHEAD!" the purple beast was angered. "That's the producer's son Gin-san." "Oh...are you sure?" "Yes! I promise that's just a costume." Shinpachi tried to reassure Gintoki, but his morbid curiosity got the best of him, and Kagura too. The two picked up the scrawny director and examined him like an object. "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING! AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" Shinpachi screamed. "I get better, uh-huh." Kagura quickly responded and then proceeded to search for Guano's zipper. "Watch it back there!" Guano was actually enjoying this attention. Gintoki was fed up with him and decided to throw him like a football across the room. "He's got great aerodynamics!" Gintoki remarked. "YOU JUST THREW A HUMAN BEING!" Shinpachi was losing it.
"What's going on out here!?" a woman stepped out of the master bedroom reading a comic book. "Mommy! These mean people were beating me up and calling me names." Guano crawled his mangled body to his mother's feet and begged for help. "You hurt my son?! THAT'S IT!" she grabbed Gintoki and tossed him out the window, mind you the penthouse was on the top floor of LilyMu towers. He was surely dead. "GIN-SAN!" Shinpachi screamed as he ran to look out the window.
TBC
Episode 2: Written by: Cha, Date: May 6th, 2016
Gintoki kept falling out of the top floor level of Lilymu Towers and had been thrown out by the madam of the penthouse herself (no not Yes Man, well maybe. As it was revealed it was Yoshi in a Kiyoko costume all along. How he got into the family's apartment, I'll never know.)
Yoshi: That's right, you fall to your death.. on a soft mattress I set for you on the floor level of the Towers. Next time you'll think twice before costing me out of my camera man job for your Odd Jobs.
Kagura grabbed Yoshi by his green jacket and threw him out the window, Yoshi did not land on the soft mattress below.
Shinpachi: OII, KAGURA! YOU JUST PROBABLY KILLED THAT GUY!
Kagura: Good, we don't need anymore midgets around here. *Kagura looks at Guano who is scrambling up from the floor and frantically goes to get Ozu in his office*
Kagura: That pipsqueak is gonna squeal to the old fart on us, now we'll never cash in!
Shinpachi: Enough about that Kagura! Gin-san is still falling to his death!!
Gin: It feels like I've been falling since a TBC meme was placed next to me!
The man yelled in that shrieky voice he sometimes does when his life is gonna end abruptly. but then he remembered he was A Cool ::dolphin noise:: Samurai ® and grabbed a conveniently located pole from the building. He did flips n ::dolphin noise:: on the windows and broke into a penthouse glass window where shin almost peed his pants at seeing the silver soul alive. Even though Gin was still shaken up at this event (and covered in his own vomit)and was willing to blow this joint, he remembered the wad of cash in store for them if they finished their jobs. Meanwhile Kagura had already chased down guamo but accidentally picked up the faithful Yes Man instead.
Kagura: I got the little furry ::dolphin noise::, he was gonna sell us out!
She held him up for the two guys to see and they both were trying to find the words to say.
Shin: That's not the furry director, that's someone else! And shouldn't we get back to work on cleaning this place?
Kagura threw YM out the window as well as everyone reacted in their own ways to it.
Gin: Shin's right, we gotta work hard for the reaping we will get. I'm gonna start in another room, you guys tackle the bloodstains from earlier in this living room.
Kagura: I'll go tackle the rat for sure now.
Shin: NO! You will stay here with me and if Ozu-san actually sees us working hard, maybe he'll ignore what his son has to say.
Kagura: Fine, I'll just take my 5 minute warming-up break first.
She proceeds to pretend to be dead again from laziness and the shinmaster goes nuts again, you know the drill.
Meanwhile, Gin is walking down the hallway of de penthouse and sees some random ::dolphin noise:: door.
Gin: Oh hey, a random ::dolphin noise:: door.
He opens the shōji and finds a library of countless comics, a chunk of them being from Jump from the past couple of decades.
Gin: Mother of mercy, thank you for these gifts today.
He gets on his knees and prays to the big dairy sugar god in the sky for this blessing and forgets all about doing the job again even though he has more responsibility inside of him then Kagura usually.
TBC
Yoshi: That's right, you fall to your death.. on a soft mattress I set for you on the floor level of the Towers. Next time you'll think twice before costing me out of my camera man job for your Odd Jobs.
Kagura grabbed Yoshi by his green jacket and threw him out the window, Yoshi did not land on the soft mattress below.
Shinpachi: OII, KAGURA! YOU JUST PROBABLY KILLED THAT GUY!
Kagura: Good, we don't need anymore midgets around here. *Kagura looks at Guano who is scrambling up from the floor and frantically goes to get Ozu in his office*
Kagura: That pipsqueak is gonna squeal to the old fart on us, now we'll never cash in!
Shinpachi: Enough about that Kagura! Gin-san is still falling to his death!!
Gin: It feels like I've been falling since a TBC meme was placed next to me!
The man yelled in that shrieky voice he sometimes does when his life is gonna end abruptly. but then he remembered he was A Cool ::dolphin noise:: Samurai ® and grabbed a conveniently located pole from the building. He did flips n ::dolphin noise:: on the windows and broke into a penthouse glass window where shin almost peed his pants at seeing the silver soul alive. Even though Gin was still shaken up at this event (and covered in his own vomit)and was willing to blow this joint, he remembered the wad of cash in store for them if they finished their jobs. Meanwhile Kagura had already chased down guamo but accidentally picked up the faithful Yes Man instead.
Kagura: I got the little furry ::dolphin noise::, he was gonna sell us out!
She held him up for the two guys to see and they both were trying to find the words to say.
Shin: That's not the furry director, that's someone else! And shouldn't we get back to work on cleaning this place?
Kagura threw YM out the window as well as everyone reacted in their own ways to it.
Gin: Shin's right, we gotta work hard for the reaping we will get. I'm gonna start in another room, you guys tackle the bloodstains from earlier in this living room.
Kagura: I'll go tackle the rat for sure now.
Shin: NO! You will stay here with me and if Ozu-san actually sees us working hard, maybe he'll ignore what his son has to say.
Kagura: Fine, I'll just take my 5 minute warming-up break first.
She proceeds to pretend to be dead again from laziness and the shinmaster goes nuts again, you know the drill.
Meanwhile, Gin is walking down the hallway of de penthouse and sees some random ::dolphin noise:: door.
Gin: Oh hey, a random ::dolphin noise:: door.
He opens the shōji and finds a library of countless comics, a chunk of them being from Jump from the past couple of decades.
Gin: Mother of mercy, thank you for these gifts today.
He gets on his knees and prays to the big dairy sugar god in the sky for this blessing and forgets all about doing the job again even though he has more responsibility inside of him then Kagura usually.
TBC
Episode 3: Written by: Aya, Date: May 9th, 2016
"So, you seemed to have found my random ::dolphin noise:: door." Gintoki quickly whipped around to see a woman standing before him.
"You must be the Odd Jobs person Ozu hired." she took out one of the many Jump magazines from the random ::dolphin noise:: door.
"D-didnt you just throw me out the window?" Gintoki reached for his sword, anticipating another ambush by the crazed woman.
"No, that was just some blonde stout person, the name's Kiyoko." Aya knew it would be a task to write dialogue for a character who has never spoken, but she did her best.
"That's right!" Gin was agreeing with the author, "Anyway, how did you get such a massive collection of all this goodness?" Gintoki stood up after he finished praying.
"I've got connections," she said while giving a wink. Gintoki didn't think much of it and closed the random ::dolphin noise:: door.
"Well anyway, I'm supposed to be cleaning this place for a huge stack. This freaking penthouse is behemoth." Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck looking around the room.
"It doesn't help that my husband is a slob and never cleans. He makes his sla-, I mean Yes-Man do most of the cleaning. Speaking of which, where did that rascal run off to? He was supposed to fetch me some tea."
The scene pans over to Shinpachi hurriedly trying to swab and clean every inch of the living room while Kagura munched on some seaweed.
"Ah! I almost forgot! SA-DA-HA-RU!!!" Kagura's voiced echoed through out the cosmos. Not too long afterwards, a gargantuan white dog busted through the window in the living room.
"OI! KAGURA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Shinpachi was going absolutely ballistic at this point.
"Excuse me, but the door was open and I thought I heard Leader's voice scream for a cute, fluffy animal." A black haired samurai and a giant alien stepped into the penthouze.
"Oi, Zura!" Gin yelled as he heard his friend enter.
"Zura janai, Katsura da."
TBC
"You must be the Odd Jobs person Ozu hired." she took out one of the many Jump magazines from the random ::dolphin noise:: door.
"D-didnt you just throw me out the window?" Gintoki reached for his sword, anticipating another ambush by the crazed woman.
"No, that was just some blonde stout person, the name's Kiyoko." Aya knew it would be a task to write dialogue for a character who has never spoken, but she did her best.
"That's right!" Gin was agreeing with the author, "Anyway, how did you get such a massive collection of all this goodness?" Gintoki stood up after he finished praying.
"I've got connections," she said while giving a wink. Gintoki didn't think much of it and closed the random ::dolphin noise:: door.
"Well anyway, I'm supposed to be cleaning this place for a huge stack. This freaking penthouse is behemoth." Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck looking around the room.
"It doesn't help that my husband is a slob and never cleans. He makes his sla-, I mean Yes-Man do most of the cleaning. Speaking of which, where did that rascal run off to? He was supposed to fetch me some tea."
The scene pans over to Shinpachi hurriedly trying to swab and clean every inch of the living room while Kagura munched on some seaweed.
"Ah! I almost forgot! SA-DA-HA-RU!!!" Kagura's voiced echoed through out the cosmos. Not too long afterwards, a gargantuan white dog busted through the window in the living room.
"OI! KAGURA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Shinpachi was going absolutely ballistic at this point.
"Excuse me, but the door was open and I thought I heard Leader's voice scream for a cute, fluffy animal." A black haired samurai and a giant alien stepped into the penthouze.
"Oi, Zura!" Gin yelled as he heard his friend enter.
"Zura janai, Katsura da."
TBC
Episode 4: Written by: Cha, Date: May 9th, 2016
"I'm gonna do something I never do. Eat some sweets during work." Gintoki whispered in Kiyoko's ear.
He pulled out a strawberry flavored lollipop and Kiyoko looked very alarmed at what just happened.
*funky ::dolphin noise:: guitar intro with a title that has barely anything to do with the episode but is good advice*
Guano frantically ran once he heard the loud crashes that came fourth from Katsura and the alien animal gang. He pounded on shōji door of his boss man's office.
"What do you want? I'm very busy with a phone call in here." The old man said in his office.
"Ozu! You gotta come out here. Those three workers you hired to clean the house have really been messing things up and I just heard a big explosion from the living room and I-" The director spoke nervously but was cut off.
"I'm sure whatever they're doing outside isn't as bad as you think it is, Guano." Ozu replied.
"Oh really? Then where's Yes Man? I heard the kid with the glasses say the girl threw him out the window." Guano said.
"HERE I AM!" Yes Man popped his head through the paper door and Guano squealed in shock.
"How did you get back in the penthouse I thought-" The director got cut off again.
"You think I'd quit coming back into the apartment every time Ozu and Mrs. Ozu kicked me out of their bedroom, Ozu Junior?" Yes Man asked.
"I just hired the Odd Jobs as a way to show off how bad of a job they'd do at cleaning and motivate Yes Man to not be lazy and do it himself." Ozu explained.
"Hey I have ears you know, they're right below MY GLASSES." Yes Man said as his glasses accidentally slipped off and a giant white dog ran off with them.
YM and Guano went in mortal shock. Yes Man hid his eyes before anyone could see them, pulling a Johnny Bravo where he can't be seen without his glasses.
Meanwhile Gintoki was giving a prep speech on the Odd Jobs while he had a lollipop in his mouth. Katsura with a serious face looked all around the apartment, arms crossed and shifting his eyes around as if he was waiting for something. While Elizabeth was checking inside the refrigerator for nourishment.
"Okay team, we can get through and finish this job. Even with the big hole in the wall that was here when we came here.." Gintoki nervously sweated as he huddled with his team.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! The hole got there because Kagura invited Sadaharu and the others!" Shinpachi yelled.
"I didn't invite the Curry Ninja and Big Bird, only Sadaharu. That hole is a doggy door they already had for their pet. Uh-huh." Kagura commented.
"THEY ONLY HAVE A SMALL FISH!" Shin yelled again but Kagura stuck her fist in his mouth hole and he started to bleed from the inside.
"Oi Shin, you're the one causing the most interruptions around here than anyone." Gin said sucking on the flavor of his strawberry candy pop.
Shin fell to the floor with his jaw in pain and Kagura and Gin placed him on the love sofa. They covered his head and body with a blanket and saluted him.
"I'M NOT DEAD!" Shin said with his mouth still bruised up.
He came out of the blanket and looked at the enormous breach of space where Ozu's living room window once was. "What are we gonna do? We're gonna be in so much trouble."
Before Gin and Kasura could sneak off without getting caught though, Shin reminded them of $$$ that would come at the end of the deal.
"Hmm, we're gonna need something to fix or cover that wall. But what can cover a gap that big? It's the size of Mount Fuji." Gintoki shook.
"Oh I know! We'll find a giant wiener to fit into it! It'll fill up the space." Kagura said.
"That's a good idea, but where would we find a man dangler that big...?" Gintoki pondered twirling the stick end of his lollipop with his two fingers.
"I know! SADAHA-!" Kagura called but Shinpachi clasped a hand over her mouth.
"NO! We're not doing that and getting kicked off the air!" Shinpachi argued and Kagura kneed him in the gut when his hand was still on her mouth.
"Fine, we'll get some new windows or something. Do it your way Shinpachi. But it's quite hard to do that when we don't have any budget to spend." Gintoki said and sighed.
"What if we asked Ozu-san for some money on cleaning supplies?" Shinpachi suggested.
"I'll do it." Kagura proclaimed. "Those old business goats can't say no to a little girl as cute as this." But Gin and Shin silently disagreed.
While Kagura dashed off at full speed, Sadaharu had come to seek his revenge on Shinpachi for no apparent reason and glomped his entire head. Meanwhile Gintoki went up to Katsura who was sneakily hiding behind the couches.
"Oi, Zura. What are you doing here in Tokyo anyways?" The silver hair man asked his friend.
"The Shinsengumi caught me in public in Edo. They have been chasing me down in this city ever since this morning. Now not only are they following me but the authorities around here too for causing a commotion. " Katsura said as Elizabeth came behind them with a big bag of Lays chips. "When I saw your dog Gin, I followed him to safety and wound up here." Excitedly, Katsura started to pet the adorable head of Sadaharu before his head got glomped in with Shinpachi's.
"Well I need you to get out. I don't want the police hanging around this apartment while we're trying to get a Odd Job finished." Gintoki said.
-Just let us hide out here and we won't cause any bother.- Elizabeth held up a sign.
"You could hang out anywhere in Tokyo to Kyoto for all I care. But we're already having enough trouble as it is with that hole in the wall you and the dog made". Gintoki said and finally spit out the stick where his lollipop once was, into a trash can.
Katsura managed to get his bloody head out of the jaw of the mighty beast. But leaving Shinpachi only a milisecond of fresh air down his choking lung pipes before the canine munched down again.
"I know this giant being who could fix up your hole in the wall with his equipment. Katsura explained. "If you let me and Elizabeth stay".
"Who?" Gin asked and there was a brief pause as Katsura stared him into his eyes.
"SADAHA-" Katsura called out but Shinpachi (whose head was STILL inside the dog's mouth) kicked Katsura in the legs.
"This is pointless, we'll do it ourselves. Where's that redheaded girl with the the money?" Gin asked getting impatient.
-I might know of a guy who could do this job.- Elizabeth wrote with the sign and lay chip crumbs all over her beak.
"And who would be that exactly?" Gintoki asked.
She flipped her sign a picture of someone as Gintoki and Katsura gasped.
"OH NOT-" Shin said but we'll leave it at that.
Kagura raced down the halls of the penthouse, looking for Ozu. She came across a bedroom with a slightly opened door and decided to peek out whatever what was in side. Kiyoko was procrastinating on work and was playing a videya game.
"Heyo!" Kagura yelled.
"OH SH-" Kiyoko fell head first off the bed and got covered in boo boos, startled af. She was tangled in the gamecube controller's cord she was using. "Uh, hey whoever you are..?" Kiyoko manged to look up at the girl above her.
"I'm looking for this old guy, have you seen him?" Kagura said.
"Oh, you must be one of those odd job dudes that have been randomly lurking in rooms here all day. Yeah, he's in his office right now. Probably in the middle of a business call or something I guess." She told the girl and Kagura picked up a manga that was laying on the bed.
"Oi, what's this?" Kagura asked as Kiyoko got up.
"Actually heh, that's one of the many comic books I write as the awesome executive of Ozoom Manga. A company dedicated to the best literature and the best at crushing inferior companies such as Lilym-" Kiyoko got cut off.
"I meant the pickled seaweed ad on the back of it." Kagura said as her stomach growled.
"Oh.." Kiyoko said looking with dead fish eyes.
"I guess this will do." Kagura shrugged and was gonna place the back of the issue in her mouth.
"WAIT NO DON'T EAT THAT." She waved her arms around and sweat dropped in relief as Kagura put it down. "What about I treat you to some lunch in the kitchen, honey. I ordered out."
"Okay.." Kagura said said and Kiyoko walked her out as Kagura was still holding the comic. She looked at the front page labeled Unidentified Fighting Objects with some power ranger/samurai/alien hybrid characters. "These aliens may have rock hard abs of steel, but to they have the strength of a Yato? "
'Ya-what?" Kiyoko asked.
"Yato, it's what I am. Here I'll show you." Kagura punched the wall where a picture of Yes Man was and the wall had a huge dent in it now. Kiyoko looked with morbid fear at the alien child and was paused with fear like Guano and Yes Man were in the beginning of this story.
TBC
He pulled out a strawberry flavored lollipop and Kiyoko looked very alarmed at what just happened.
*funky ::dolphin noise:: guitar intro with a title that has barely anything to do with the episode but is good advice*
Guano frantically ran once he heard the loud crashes that came fourth from Katsura and the alien animal gang. He pounded on shōji door of his boss man's office.
"What do you want? I'm very busy with a phone call in here." The old man said in his office.
"Ozu! You gotta come out here. Those three workers you hired to clean the house have really been messing things up and I just heard a big explosion from the living room and I-" The director spoke nervously but was cut off.
"I'm sure whatever they're doing outside isn't as bad as you think it is, Guano." Ozu replied.
"Oh really? Then where's Yes Man? I heard the kid with the glasses say the girl threw him out the window." Guano said.
"HERE I AM!" Yes Man popped his head through the paper door and Guano squealed in shock.
"How did you get back in the penthouse I thought-" The director got cut off again.
"You think I'd quit coming back into the apartment every time Ozu and Mrs. Ozu kicked me out of their bedroom, Ozu Junior?" Yes Man asked.
"I just hired the Odd Jobs as a way to show off how bad of a job they'd do at cleaning and motivate Yes Man to not be lazy and do it himself." Ozu explained.
"Hey I have ears you know, they're right below MY GLASSES." Yes Man said as his glasses accidentally slipped off and a giant white dog ran off with them.
YM and Guano went in mortal shock. Yes Man hid his eyes before anyone could see them, pulling a Johnny Bravo where he can't be seen without his glasses.
Meanwhile Gintoki was giving a prep speech on the Odd Jobs while he had a lollipop in his mouth. Katsura with a serious face looked all around the apartment, arms crossed and shifting his eyes around as if he was waiting for something. While Elizabeth was checking inside the refrigerator for nourishment.
"Okay team, we can get through and finish this job. Even with the big hole in the wall that was here when we came here.." Gintoki nervously sweated as he huddled with his team.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! The hole got there because Kagura invited Sadaharu and the others!" Shinpachi yelled.
"I didn't invite the Curry Ninja and Big Bird, only Sadaharu. That hole is a doggy door they already had for their pet. Uh-huh." Kagura commented.
"THEY ONLY HAVE A SMALL FISH!" Shin yelled again but Kagura stuck her fist in his mouth hole and he started to bleed from the inside.
"Oi Shin, you're the one causing the most interruptions around here than anyone." Gin said sucking on the flavor of his strawberry candy pop.
Shin fell to the floor with his jaw in pain and Kagura and Gin placed him on the love sofa. They covered his head and body with a blanket and saluted him.
"I'M NOT DEAD!" Shin said with his mouth still bruised up.
He came out of the blanket and looked at the enormous breach of space where Ozu's living room window once was. "What are we gonna do? We're gonna be in so much trouble."
Before Gin and Kasura could sneak off without getting caught though, Shin reminded them of $$$ that would come at the end of the deal.
"Hmm, we're gonna need something to fix or cover that wall. But what can cover a gap that big? It's the size of Mount Fuji." Gintoki shook.
"Oh I know! We'll find a giant wiener to fit into it! It'll fill up the space." Kagura said.
"That's a good idea, but where would we find a man dangler that big...?" Gintoki pondered twirling the stick end of his lollipop with his two fingers.
"I know! SADAHA-!" Kagura called but Shinpachi clasped a hand over her mouth.
"NO! We're not doing that and getting kicked off the air!" Shinpachi argued and Kagura kneed him in the gut when his hand was still on her mouth.
"Fine, we'll get some new windows or something. Do it your way Shinpachi. But it's quite hard to do that when we don't have any budget to spend." Gintoki said and sighed.
"What if we asked Ozu-san for some money on cleaning supplies?" Shinpachi suggested.
"I'll do it." Kagura proclaimed. "Those old business goats can't say no to a little girl as cute as this." But Gin and Shin silently disagreed.
While Kagura dashed off at full speed, Sadaharu had come to seek his revenge on Shinpachi for no apparent reason and glomped his entire head. Meanwhile Gintoki went up to Katsura who was sneakily hiding behind the couches.
"Oi, Zura. What are you doing here in Tokyo anyways?" The silver hair man asked his friend.
"The Shinsengumi caught me in public in Edo. They have been chasing me down in this city ever since this morning. Now not only are they following me but the authorities around here too for causing a commotion. " Katsura said as Elizabeth came behind them with a big bag of Lays chips. "When I saw your dog Gin, I followed him to safety and wound up here." Excitedly, Katsura started to pet the adorable head of Sadaharu before his head got glomped in with Shinpachi's.
"Well I need you to get out. I don't want the police hanging around this apartment while we're trying to get a Odd Job finished." Gintoki said.
-Just let us hide out here and we won't cause any bother.- Elizabeth held up a sign.
"You could hang out anywhere in Tokyo to Kyoto for all I care. But we're already having enough trouble as it is with that hole in the wall you and the dog made". Gintoki said and finally spit out the stick where his lollipop once was, into a trash can.
Katsura managed to get his bloody head out of the jaw of the mighty beast. But leaving Shinpachi only a milisecond of fresh air down his choking lung pipes before the canine munched down again.
"I know this giant being who could fix up your hole in the wall with his equipment. Katsura explained. "If you let me and Elizabeth stay".
"Who?" Gin asked and there was a brief pause as Katsura stared him into his eyes.
"SADAHA-" Katsura called out but Shinpachi (whose head was STILL inside the dog's mouth) kicked Katsura in the legs.
"This is pointless, we'll do it ourselves. Where's that redheaded girl with the the money?" Gin asked getting impatient.
-I might know of a guy who could do this job.- Elizabeth wrote with the sign and lay chip crumbs all over her beak.
"And who would be that exactly?" Gintoki asked.
She flipped her sign a picture of someone as Gintoki and Katsura gasped.
"OH NOT-" Shin said but we'll leave it at that.
Kagura raced down the halls of the penthouse, looking for Ozu. She came across a bedroom with a slightly opened door and decided to peek out whatever what was in side. Kiyoko was procrastinating on work and was playing a videya game.
"Heyo!" Kagura yelled.
"OH SH-" Kiyoko fell head first off the bed and got covered in boo boos, startled af. She was tangled in the gamecube controller's cord she was using. "Uh, hey whoever you are..?" Kiyoko manged to look up at the girl above her.
"I'm looking for this old guy, have you seen him?" Kagura said.
"Oh, you must be one of those odd job dudes that have been randomly lurking in rooms here all day. Yeah, he's in his office right now. Probably in the middle of a business call or something I guess." She told the girl and Kagura picked up a manga that was laying on the bed.
"Oi, what's this?" Kagura asked as Kiyoko got up.
"Actually heh, that's one of the many comic books I write as the awesome executive of Ozoom Manga. A company dedicated to the best literature and the best at crushing inferior companies such as Lilym-" Kiyoko got cut off.
"I meant the pickled seaweed ad on the back of it." Kagura said as her stomach growled.
"Oh.." Kiyoko said looking with dead fish eyes.
"I guess this will do." Kagura shrugged and was gonna place the back of the issue in her mouth.
"WAIT NO DON'T EAT THAT." She waved her arms around and sweat dropped in relief as Kagura put it down. "What about I treat you to some lunch in the kitchen, honey. I ordered out."
"Okay.." Kagura said said and Kiyoko walked her out as Kagura was still holding the comic. She looked at the front page labeled Unidentified Fighting Objects with some power ranger/samurai/alien hybrid characters. "These aliens may have rock hard abs of steel, but to they have the strength of a Yato? "
'Ya-what?" Kiyoko asked.
"Yato, it's what I am. Here I'll show you." Kagura punched the wall where a picture of Yes Man was and the wall had a huge dent in it now. Kiyoko looked with morbid fear at the alien child and was paused with fear like Guano and Yes Man were in the beginning of this story.
TBC
Episode 5: Written by: Aya, Date: May 10th, 2016
Gintoki and Katsura gaffed at the sight of their friend on Elizabeth's sign.
"As if he could actually help us Elizabeth!" Katsura chuckled, patting the alien on the back. Before Katsura was finished chuckling, Gintoki shushed him.
"Oi, do you hear that, Zura?" Gintoki and Katsura got closer to the giant hole in the wall and listened. The two heard the most dreaded sound in the world, a distant annoying laughter.
"This is really bad, really really bad. He's going to destroy the entire tower!" Gintoki hurriedly scrambled through the penthouse looking for Ozu, "OI, OLD BAG, WHERE ARE YOU WITH MY MONEY, I'VE GOT TO...UH...SEE MY GRANDMA IN THE HOSPITAL!" Gintoki rushed through various rooms, with no luck. He opened the bedroom with the sick ::dolphin noise:: door and saw Kagura and Kiyoko. Kagura had her leg and her hand through the wall, while Kiyoko was sitting on the bed with a stunned look on her face. "KAGURAAAAAAA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Gin's voiced cracked as it went high pitch.
"I was trying to eat my seaweed, but this old hag wouldn't let me uh-huh." Kagura finally managed to get her limbs extracted from the wall, leaving bigger holes. She grabbed the back of the manga and ate it.
"We have to go, now. Where is your husband?!" Gin tried to shake Kiyoko out of shock. The horror of her beloved penthouse being destroyed by these freaks had sent her into a deep thought. "OI, WHERE IS HE?!" the laughing was getting louder. Gintoki left her and grabbed Kagura by the arm and dragged her into the living room with Shinpachi and the others.
"Gin-san! Did you find Ozu?" Shinpachi questioned.
"I'm sorry, brace for impact men... As the old proverb goes, mikka bouzu, a monk for only three days. We must give into our fate." Gin opened his arms wide as the Kaientai was heading directly for the penthouse.
"OI, YOU CAN'T GIVE UP THAT EASILY, STOP HIM YOU IDIOTS!" Shinpachi screamed at Gintoki and Katsura.
"If we must, I'm sorry Sakamoto." Katsura uttered before him and Gintoki lounged heroically at the ship. They both landed right on the nose, where Sakamoto was standing.
"Ahahaha! Kintoki, Katsura! Long time no see!" He laughed and hugged his fellow samurai.
"So long that you've still forgotten my name. Listen Tatsuma, you need to turn this thing around. We have a lot riding on this job and we don't need any more constructional damage." Gintoki said we a slight edge of annoyance.
"Oh? Alright then, but first I was asked to help with the cleaning! Hmm, let me just park this thing..." Sakamoto attempted to guide his ship to find a parking spot. "Ahahaha! This one is perfect!" he drove the ship right into the hole that was created by Sadaharu.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Gintoki's voiced nearly exploded as the Kaientai was now jutting into the penthouse. Mutsu slapped Sakamoto and stepped on him.
"My apologizes, you know how brain dead he is." Mutsu continued to crush him. The Gintama gang all stopped when they heard the office door open and the graying old owner of the penthouse stepped in.
"So, how is the cleanin...." Ozu looked up to see his entire place trashed and destroyed. He fainted on the spot.
"OZU-SAN!" Shinpachi ran over to him to check if he was ok. "He's still alive, but just knocked out." Shinpachi put him on the couch, one of the only clean places in the house. Gintoki's brain started to work now.
"Ok, this is going to be a stretch, but if we fix this whole mess before he wakes up, he might just think of this as a bad dream." Gintoki said with confidence.
"AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO PUSH THIS ENTIRE SHIP!?" Shinpachi squealed.
"Tsk, tsk, Shinpachi-kun, have you forgotten that we have two of the strongest race of aliens here with us?" Gintoki pointed at Kagura and Mutsu. "The ship is barely in the penthouse anyway." As he said this, Kagura and Mutsu pushed the ship just enough to make it fall to the ground below where it landed on Yoshi, but Yes-Man got out of the way.
"AHHH! MY SHIP!!" Sakamoto was absolutely beside himself. "All my paperwork...all my trading goods..." Sakamoto curled up into a ball and sat in the corner.
"So now we just clean?" Elizabeth held up a sign. Gintoki and Kagura grabbed a giant, cartoon sized piece of white paper and glued it over the hole.
"OI, THAT ISN'T CLEANING OR FOOLING ANYONE!" Shinpachi was trying to straighten out his team, but to no avail.
"You know, I think it looks fine, just add this here....and there we go!" Katsura drew a doodle of a poorly drawn window on the sheet of paper. Shinpachi screamed even more at this action.
"What is all the noise now?!" Guano finally came out of hiding to witness the absolutely disgusting scene. "I...I'm telling on you guys! You're not getting paid at all!" This struck a nerve in Gintoki.
'Won't get paid?! That's the only reason we're doing this stupid job in the first place, we can't let him tell.' Gintoki thought.
'That's right, we need to capture him and silence, uh-huh.' Kagura added in her thought.
"Hey little fuzzy guy, I got some...uh...director stuff over here..." Gintoki tried to sound convincing, but failed.
"Oh, like what?" he fell for it. Kagura and Gintoki grabbed Guano and tied him up to a chair and put duct-tape over his mouth. He screamed, but they were muffled.
"Ok, now we can actually clean." Gintoki declared, but he was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Oi, this is the police, we heard a lot of commotion up here and we just wanted to check if everything is ok."
The group looked at the door in a stunned horror.
TBC
Episode 6: Written by: Cha, Date: May 11th, 2016
"Open up! This is the police!!" Said a voice behind the door, but it didn't at all sound like one of the Shinsengumi, more like a redheaded white boy.
Gintoki, Kagura, Shinpachi and every other person who was in there flinched a little bit.
"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! This is all because of all of you and your wacky personalities clashing!" cried out Shinpachi and Elizabeth stuck her sign in his mouth to shut him up.
"WHAT WAS THAT?! Whoever is behind there has the count of three to opened this door before we bust it down!" A man with a unique voice barked out of his mayonnaise stained lips.
"1!"
"We're gonna have to silent the kid, Gin-chan." Kagura said and they both nodded.
They gagged, kicked in the groin and locked Shin in the closet along with also gagged Guano and fainted Ozu.
"2!"
Gintoki pushed everyone the from sad and broken Sakamoto and his passengers to the big alien duck (who tried to refuse and made that weird ::dolphin noise:: sound) to hide in different rooms in the penthouse. Kagura and Gintoki tried their best to push Sadaharu into a door.
"2 and a half!!" Yelled the redhead guy.
"OI what gives you the right to give out orders on what to count?! You're not a member of us anyways." The demon vice chief said.
"Yeah let Hijikata count, if anything he needs the practice." A deadpanned police officer with a giant blaster said.
While this happened, Gintoki pushed with all his might to get his huge ::dolphin noise:: dog in the cool ::dolphin noise:: door but it backfired on him, literally. A warm, pile of steaming do-do landed right in Gintoki's face and chugged down his mouth as he was stunned and couldn't move a muscle.
"Sadaharu! Go inside!" Kagura ordered and the dog obeyed the child, letting out a small arf.
Kagura grabbed Gintoki by the hand and they covered the giant hole in the wall with the paper with the windows earlier.
"This is not going to fool anyone! Not even that monstrosity who just took every essence and juice of his body and crapped it down my throat!" Gintoki said with the poo on his face having flies buzzing around it. The paper was not staying in place.
"2 and a half!" Someone said.
"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU TO NOT DO!" The Demon Vice Chief was losing it now and yelled at the redheaded guy.
"Sorry, that was me.. I kinda got excited practicing the counting.." His gorilla looking boss said.
Kagura had an idea. She grabbed Gintoki by the back of his wavy head and smoshed it on the paper. She smeared all the poop on the sides of the wall so that the paper would stick as he made sounds in a higher voice than usual.
"ALMOST THREEEEEE!" A blue haired man chimed in and suddenly a giant blaster blew off the door.
"Sorry, I was getting tired of learning kindergarten again." The sadist said.
The Shinsengumi came out of the smoke left from the giant weapon in their polished uniforms. Who led them was a tall, tan looking fellow, followed by a green haired figure with a cigarette in his mouth. Behind them was four fellow residents of Lilymu Towers, who had came to the penthouse to figure out all the commotion happening on the 86th floor. Kondou went up to Gintoki and Kagura, looking all around.
"What's exactly going all around here? We've had complaints about noise and a ship following out of the sky and landing on a blonde cameraman." Kondou said and took a whiff of the place. Everyone violently coughed as they were actually smelling the doggy droppings on Gintoki and the walls.
"What is that awful smell!" A blonde chick said plugging his nose with his hands.
"Oi, Hijikata, I told you not to bring your dog food on long trips out of town." Sougo said.
"That's not me you twit!" The demon spoke.
"You have dog food and you're not sharing it with anyone?!" Gonard sincerely asked.
"Hey, I've never seen you guys around here. Are you friends of one of the members of this family?" Good natured Mitsuki asked referring to Ozu and the three others.
"Haha well.. you see, that's right! The master of this house Ozu-san told us to work clean up his house once Shinpachi had one too many bad ramen bowls from this restaurant we all went to. He got diarrhea everywhere." Gintoki was sweating and practically squeezing the veins on the back of his neck from uber stress.
"Really, I've never seen you two before.." Lily said.
"Nonsense, we were all in the q&a 4 thread together." Gin said laughing off his sweat.
"I don't those are really canon here." Gonard chimed in.
"Pretty sure you're hiding something." Lily stated, staring at them
"Maybe you could see us better if you'd stop squinting with those piss colored eyes of yours!" Kagura said smiling as Lily got offended.
"Oh ::dolphin noise:: gotem." Mikey Simon said.
"Well.. I guess if there's nothing wrong here we'll-" Kondou said as he saw some long, black hair stuck in one of the doors. Kondou and his vice chief walked up to the door and saw a pirate.
"Who are you, strange man?" Hijikata asked.
"Zura Janai, Katsura Da." Katsura said but then got a "oh ::dolphin noise::" thought in his head as they stared at the man in shock. "I meant, CAPTAIN Katsura."
Somehow the two police officers bought that as they had before.
"Oi, what brings you around here Captain? I heard they had pirates in around here Tokyo and I guess they weren't kidding." Kondou said putting his arm around Kats- Captain Katsura and walking back to the living room. Hijikata squinted at him, trying to figure out why he looked so familiar.
"Well it looks like there wasn't really anything here but a bunch of working men." Kondou said and filed his police force out of the penthouse. All except Sougo who was looking at the paper wall even though Gintoki and Sagura tried to shoo him away from it.
"Hmm, nice.. craftsmanship. I've never seen someone make a wall out of a sheet of crummy paper before." Sougo said looking at it.
"Well it's a new style around here! You know those upcoming new families trying to shake up their domestic life with a new look once they settled down." Gintoki said sweating and stuff.
"Really? I heard the people who lived here are really old.." Sougo said exazmitating the ends of the paper wall with his fingers.
"Actually they are a new family! You see there was this HUGE explosion years ago and then our boss man found his illegitimate child and woman who he hates by magic!" Gonard explained coming up to them.
"See, this residential blue haired doofus gets- whatever the hell he's talking about!" Gintoki said putting his arm around Gonard nervously.
"Hey! That's Mr. Residental Blue Haired Doofus to you!" Gonard said.
"Now if you don't mind, we have a very busy schedule from Old Fart-san, you sadistic freak." Kagura said as she grabbed Soudo's lurking hand and slightly crushed it.
"Better put stick this on a wall too." Sougo said referring to Kagura. He held his injured hand as he walked off. But then, Sougo turned around to tell Gintoki one last thing. "By the way, you're gonna have to do better than hide a giant hole in the wall where your the ship came out of."
At this comment, the rest of the officers came back as were Mikey and his friends were shocked. Mikey peeled back the paper wall with the doggy junk all over it.
"You think you would have noticed that ship when you came to the towers." Mikey said.
"We parked in the back, the parking in this city is terrible." Sougo said.
"What is the meaning of this you wavy haired idiot?!" Hijikata barked as Gorilla looked shocked af.
"Well haha tebehahtah yoU see!" Gin managed to get out of his lungs.
"Gasp! How did that hole get in there! Did you know Gin-san?" Kagura said in a clearly faked shocked tone.
"The wall must have collapsed while we were working there!" Gintama added.
"I made it, " Captain Katsura stepped into the area where they were surrounding Gintoki and Kagura. "With my ship, Bozo-san-"
"Ozu-san.." Gintoki chimed in with dead fish eyes.
"Yes, Ozu-san wanted to have the full Pirates of the Caribbean experience like they do at Disney World for him and his kid, but he didn't have the time with his busy schedule to book a trip there. So he asked me to come along."
"Yeah, yeah. And since he owns the building, it's all okay what ever he does to it!" Gintoki added.
"You except us to believe that?" Hijikata said.
"That sounds pretty far fetched." Kondou said when he snapped out of it.
"Wait, if you were giving him an experience, then where is Ozu? Or the others for that matter?" Mitsuki asked.
"I thought you said you guys were cleaning up this place." Lily added.
"Chillax guys! Lily, Gonard, Hijikata, Gorilla, Sougo, Yamazki (who was playing badminton with Gonard out of no where), the other cops and what's her face-"Mikey said.
"Wait, you remember the names of people you just met but not me?" Mitsuki asked insulted but got ignored as if she didn't exist.
"I'm sure these two anime stars have all the answers stored for you. You just gotta give them a chance to answer them! Like the answer to where Ozizzle, Guano, Kiyoko and Yes Man are. Which they're getting supplies at the party store while waiting for these two to clean up Shinpachi's diarrhea on these walls!" Mikey said.
"You just answered the questions for yourself even though you asked us to..." Gintoki silent said and slapped his face so hard that he bled a bit. "YEAH! YEP! YEP! YEP! YOU GUYS FIGURED IT OUT! NOW OUT WITH ALL OF YOU SO WE CAN FINISH THE CLEANING FOR THE PARTY!"
"Wait a party? I wanna go to it!" Gonard said and every one else agreed.
"Yeah and we're not leaving until we get it. Just to make sure you actually are having a party." Hiijikata said.
"WELL WE HAVE TO CLEAN FIRST REMEMBER!" Gintoki screeched.
"YEP! YEP! YEP!" Kagura also screeched and followed him as they somehow were in french maid outfits now, quickly dusting random things with dust feathers at top speed.
"Well we can help you, right guys?" Mitsuki said and the others agreed as long as they got their festiva on.
"OKAY!" Gintoki said in somewhat a robotic and stunned tone.
"Is she gonna help too?" Takasugi said (who was snooping around the doors) as a woman was on top of a giant dog, riding it into the living room at full speed like a maniacal bull. She tried to grab the manga the dog had in it's jaw but totally decided not to once Sadaharu almost glomped down on her hand to break it off. She didn't know how to stop it either and went into a state of panic.
"SHE IS GONNA SQUEAL ON EVERYTHIIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" Gintoki yelled inside his brain.
OI ARTIST! THAT ISN'T EVEN ME! THAT'S AN IMAGE OF SOMEONE FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANIME!!
TBC
Gintoki, Kagura, Shinpachi and every other person who was in there flinched a little bit.
"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! This is all because of all of you and your wacky personalities clashing!" cried out Shinpachi and Elizabeth stuck her sign in his mouth to shut him up.
"WHAT WAS THAT?! Whoever is behind there has the count of three to opened this door before we bust it down!" A man with a unique voice barked out of his mayonnaise stained lips.
"1!"
"We're gonna have to silent the kid, Gin-chan." Kagura said and they both nodded.
They gagged, kicked in the groin and locked Shin in the closet along with also gagged Guano and fainted Ozu.
"2!"
Gintoki pushed everyone the from sad and broken Sakamoto and his passengers to the big alien duck (who tried to refuse and made that weird ::dolphin noise:: sound) to hide in different rooms in the penthouse. Kagura and Gintoki tried their best to push Sadaharu into a door.
"2 and a half!!" Yelled the redhead guy.
"OI what gives you the right to give out orders on what to count?! You're not a member of us anyways." The demon vice chief said.
"Yeah let Hijikata count, if anything he needs the practice." A deadpanned police officer with a giant blaster said.
While this happened, Gintoki pushed with all his might to get his huge ::dolphin noise:: dog in the cool ::dolphin noise:: door but it backfired on him, literally. A warm, pile of steaming do-do landed right in Gintoki's face and chugged down his mouth as he was stunned and couldn't move a muscle.
"Sadaharu! Go inside!" Kagura ordered and the dog obeyed the child, letting out a small arf.
Kagura grabbed Gintoki by the hand and they covered the giant hole in the wall with the paper with the windows earlier.
"This is not going to fool anyone! Not even that monstrosity who just took every essence and juice of his body and crapped it down my throat!" Gintoki said with the poo on his face having flies buzzing around it. The paper was not staying in place.
"2 and a half!" Someone said.
"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU TO NOT DO!" The Demon Vice Chief was losing it now and yelled at the redheaded guy.
"Sorry, that was me.. I kinda got excited practicing the counting.." His gorilla looking boss said.
Kagura had an idea. She grabbed Gintoki by the back of his wavy head and smoshed it on the paper. She smeared all the poop on the sides of the wall so that the paper would stick as he made sounds in a higher voice than usual.
"ALMOST THREEEEEE!" A blue haired man chimed in and suddenly a giant blaster blew off the door.
"Sorry, I was getting tired of learning kindergarten again." The sadist said.
The Shinsengumi came out of the smoke left from the giant weapon in their polished uniforms. Who led them was a tall, tan looking fellow, followed by a green haired figure with a cigarette in his mouth. Behind them was four fellow residents of Lilymu Towers, who had came to the penthouse to figure out all the commotion happening on the 86th floor. Kondou went up to Gintoki and Kagura, looking all around.
"What's exactly going all around here? We've had complaints about noise and a ship following out of the sky and landing on a blonde cameraman." Kondou said and took a whiff of the place. Everyone violently coughed as they were actually smelling the doggy droppings on Gintoki and the walls.
"What is that awful smell!" A blonde chick said plugging his nose with his hands.
"Oi, Hijikata, I told you not to bring your dog food on long trips out of town." Sougo said.
"That's not me you twit!" The demon spoke.
"You have dog food and you're not sharing it with anyone?!" Gonard sincerely asked.
"Hey, I've never seen you guys around here. Are you friends of one of the members of this family?" Good natured Mitsuki asked referring to Ozu and the three others.
"Haha well.. you see, that's right! The master of this house Ozu-san told us to work clean up his house once Shinpachi had one too many bad ramen bowls from this restaurant we all went to. He got diarrhea everywhere." Gintoki was sweating and practically squeezing the veins on the back of his neck from uber stress.
"Really, I've never seen you two before.." Lily said.
"Nonsense, we were all in the q&a 4 thread together." Gin said laughing off his sweat.
"I don't those are really canon here." Gonard chimed in.
"Pretty sure you're hiding something." Lily stated, staring at them
"Maybe you could see us better if you'd stop squinting with those piss colored eyes of yours!" Kagura said smiling as Lily got offended.
"Oh ::dolphin noise:: gotem." Mikey Simon said.
"Well.. I guess if there's nothing wrong here we'll-" Kondou said as he saw some long, black hair stuck in one of the doors. Kondou and his vice chief walked up to the door and saw a pirate.
"Who are you, strange man?" Hijikata asked.
"Zura Janai, Katsura Da." Katsura said but then got a "oh ::dolphin noise::" thought in his head as they stared at the man in shock. "I meant, CAPTAIN Katsura."
Somehow the two police officers bought that as they had before.
"Oi, what brings you around here Captain? I heard they had pirates in around here Tokyo and I guess they weren't kidding." Kondou said putting his arm around Kats- Captain Katsura and walking back to the living room. Hijikata squinted at him, trying to figure out why he looked so familiar.
"Well it looks like there wasn't really anything here but a bunch of working men." Kondou said and filed his police force out of the penthouse. All except Sougo who was looking at the paper wall even though Gintoki and Sagura tried to shoo him away from it.
"Hmm, nice.. craftsmanship. I've never seen someone make a wall out of a sheet of crummy paper before." Sougo said looking at it.
"Well it's a new style around here! You know those upcoming new families trying to shake up their domestic life with a new look once they settled down." Gintoki said sweating and stuff.
"Really? I heard the people who lived here are really old.." Sougo said exazmitating the ends of the paper wall with his fingers.
"Actually they are a new family! You see there was this HUGE explosion years ago and then our boss man found his illegitimate child and woman who he hates by magic!" Gonard explained coming up to them.
"See, this residential blue haired doofus gets- whatever the hell he's talking about!" Gintoki said putting his arm around Gonard nervously.
"Hey! That's Mr. Residental Blue Haired Doofus to you!" Gonard said.
"Now if you don't mind, we have a very busy schedule from Old Fart-san, you sadistic freak." Kagura said as she grabbed Soudo's lurking hand and slightly crushed it.
"Better put stick this on a wall too." Sougo said referring to Kagura. He held his injured hand as he walked off. But then, Sougo turned around to tell Gintoki one last thing. "By the way, you're gonna have to do better than hide a giant hole in the wall where your the ship came out of."
At this comment, the rest of the officers came back as were Mikey and his friends were shocked. Mikey peeled back the paper wall with the doggy junk all over it.
"You think you would have noticed that ship when you came to the towers." Mikey said.
"We parked in the back, the parking in this city is terrible." Sougo said.
"What is the meaning of this you wavy haired idiot?!" Hijikata barked as Gorilla looked shocked af.
"Well haha tebehahtah yoU see!" Gin managed to get out of his lungs.
"Gasp! How did that hole get in there! Did you know Gin-san?" Kagura said in a clearly faked shocked tone.
"The wall must have collapsed while we were working there!" Gintama added.
"I made it, " Captain Katsura stepped into the area where they were surrounding Gintoki and Kagura. "With my ship, Bozo-san-"
"Ozu-san.." Gintoki chimed in with dead fish eyes.
"Yes, Ozu-san wanted to have the full Pirates of the Caribbean experience like they do at Disney World for him and his kid, but he didn't have the time with his busy schedule to book a trip there. So he asked me to come along."
"Yeah, yeah. And since he owns the building, it's all okay what ever he does to it!" Gintoki added.
"You except us to believe that?" Hijikata said.
"That sounds pretty far fetched." Kondou said when he snapped out of it.
"Wait, if you were giving him an experience, then where is Ozu? Or the others for that matter?" Mitsuki asked.
"I thought you said you guys were cleaning up this place." Lily added.
"Chillax guys! Lily, Gonard, Hijikata, Gorilla, Sougo, Yamazki (who was playing badminton with Gonard out of no where), the other cops and what's her face-"Mikey said.
"Wait, you remember the names of people you just met but not me?" Mitsuki asked insulted but got ignored as if she didn't exist.
"I'm sure these two anime stars have all the answers stored for you. You just gotta give them a chance to answer them! Like the answer to where Ozizzle, Guano, Kiyoko and Yes Man are. Which they're getting supplies at the party store while waiting for these two to clean up Shinpachi's diarrhea on these walls!" Mikey said.
"You just answered the questions for yourself even though you asked us to..." Gintoki silent said and slapped his face so hard that he bled a bit. "YEAH! YEP! YEP! YEP! YOU GUYS FIGURED IT OUT! NOW OUT WITH ALL OF YOU SO WE CAN FINISH THE CLEANING FOR THE PARTY!"
"Wait a party? I wanna go to it!" Gonard said and every one else agreed.
"Yeah and we're not leaving until we get it. Just to make sure you actually are having a party." Hiijikata said.
"WELL WE HAVE TO CLEAN FIRST REMEMBER!" Gintoki screeched.
"YEP! YEP! YEP!" Kagura also screeched and followed him as they somehow were in french maid outfits now, quickly dusting random things with dust feathers at top speed.
"Well we can help you, right guys?" Mitsuki said and the others agreed as long as they got their festiva on.
"OKAY!" Gintoki said in somewhat a robotic and stunned tone.
"Is she gonna help too?" Takasugi said (who was snooping around the doors) as a woman was on top of a giant dog, riding it into the living room at full speed like a maniacal bull. She tried to grab the manga the dog had in it's jaw but totally decided not to once Sadaharu almost glomped down on her hand to break it off. She didn't know how to stop it either and went into a state of panic.
"SHE IS GONNA SQUEAL ON EVERYTHIIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" Gintoki yelled inside his brain.
OI ARTIST! THAT ISN'T EVEN ME! THAT'S AN IMAGE OF SOMEONE FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANIME!!
TBC
Episode 7: Written by: Aya, Date: May 14th, 2016
"KYAAAA!" Kiyoko screamed at the top of her lungs as the out of control beast hurled itself into the living room. Sadaharu and Kiyoko smashed through the front door of the apartment. Takasugi skillfully leaped out of the way before being obliterated.
"This is the last time I make a sudden cameo." Takasugi attempted to leave but was grabbed by Hijikata.
"Tsk, how could I let a high end criminal like you off the hook so easily." he handcuffed him and sat him on the floor in front of everyone. The loud noise of the dog and the woman were still raging down the halls of the apartments.
"Oi! Everyone listen up. We need to split into groups to help stop that dog. Kagura, you take that Sadist, Gonard, Yamazaki, and Lily to go retrieve them. Loser, Gorilla, Zu-, I mean Captain Zura, and Mikey will clean up the apartment. Ok, break!" Gintoki yelled, raising his hands in the air.
"OI who are you calling a Loser, you wavy-haired punk?!" Hijikata got in his face, and the two tangled. Team 1 (Kiyoko Retrieval Unit) headed out of the giant hole in the apartment.
"What about me, Mr. Samurai?" Mitsuki pipped up, as she was left off the list. Gintoki stood up from his fight with the vice chief and stared blankly at her. He leaned over to Mikey.
"Who is that?" Gintoki looked on confused.
"I don't know, Gintoki She looks like any average Joe." Mikey whispered back.
"Oh...haha...yeah, uhm..." Gintoki stumbled while Mitsuki looked back visibly pissed.
"Ah! That's right, her name is Minnie! You're Mickey's wife!" Katsura said with a sure face.
"WHAT?!" Mitsuki looked offended.
"Yeah, just uhm...look after this fish! Take this fish, and this dead beat with you into the sick ::dolphin noise:: door room." Gintoki handed Minnie the Jade Tiger Fish and Takasugi and shoo'd her off into the room.
"How exactly are we going to clean this place up, it's not even our problem." Kondou said looking around the mess that was made. Gintoki put his arm around the Gorilla's shoulder.
"Between you and me big guy, Otae-san said she's ready for that big hairy butt, and Shinpachi's out of the equation." Gintoki was trying his best to smooth talk the Chief.
"REALLY?! AH YEAH, TOSHI, LET'S DO THIS!" Kondou magically got on a French maid's outfit and started dusting like crazy.
"OI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING KONDOU?!" Hijikata was frantic at this point, he was at his wits end.
"That's the spirit Kondou!" the red haired dork chimed in. The 5 all threw on French maid outfits and started to clean up the living room as best they could.
"Oi, Hijikata, you look even worse than usual." Gintoki chuckled and Katsura also started to chuckle.
"OI, WHAT'S SO FUNNY, YOU'RE BOTH WEARING THE SAME THING. And frankly, it's not nice to laugh at somebody you don't know." Hijikata was starting to get suspicious of Captain Katsura. Katsura glared back at him.
Team 1 was attempting to search for the dog and the woman, but the task was harder than they bargained for. Kagura, Sougo, and Lily stayed close together.
"They knocked out the entire power supply, now would be the only time to use that good-for-nothing's lighter." Okita said trying to peer around the different rooms that had been torn apart by the beast.
"That's fine, we have this." Kagura shot a bullet from her umbrella and lit Sougo's hair on fire. He screamed and ran down the hallway trying to find some water.
"Nice work kid, haha." Lily high five'd Kagura. "Say, where did those two spazz's go anyway?" the scene panned over to Gonard in a chef's outfit and Yamazaki sitting at a table.
"Dinner is served." Gonard laid two large sandwiches on the table and sat next to Yamazaki.
"If the Vice-Chief catches me doing this, I'm do dead...what the hell?!" Yamazaki and Gonard chowed down on the sandwiches. While eating them, a dark figure placed rags over their mouths, knocking them out. He dragged the two into the darkness, with only the flash of a yellow-tinted light shining out.
The scene shifts over to Mitsuki, Jazz, and Takasugi sitting on the bed in the sick ::dolphin noise:: room. Mitsuki looked around, not knowing what to do with the fish. She glanced over at Takasugi, he laying down, looking at the ceiling.
"So...why were you arrested?" Mitsuki asked to break the awkwardness.
"Oh you know, murder, terrorism, the likes." he casually said, still not breaking his view of the ceiling. Mitsuki scooted farther away from him and clung onto the bowl. Just then, the sliding door swung open and a man with a red jacket fell out and a red head stepped out after him.
"Ahahaha! I knew I heard a familiar voice!" Sakamoto laughed and looked down on Takasugi.
"Oh lord, why him and why now." Takasugi looked visibly annoyed at this point, he attempted to stand up but fell face first. "Ow! My only eye!" Sakamoto continued to laugh until Mutsu slugged him a good one. Mitsuki was scared and just prayed to be let free.
The French maids continued to clean, until all the mess was finally cleaned up from the dog, and the wall debris.
Gintoki thought to himself, 'The money, it's finally in reach...' his thought lingered on. "Ok men, we just need to get this wall fixed, and we're done."
"WHEN DO I GET OTAE-SAN?!" the gorilla was leaping in joy as his dream was finally about to come true.
"NEVER!" a sliding door down the hall burst open and Shinpachi emerged.
"SHINPACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Gintoki screamed in horror as he knew his plan was about to backfire.
"Gintoki told me that you finally gave your consent!" Kondou said with hearts in his eyes. Shinpachi knocked the Gorilla out the hole in the wall.
"KONDOU! OI, SHINPACHI, YOU'RE GOING TO PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!" Hijikata drew his blade and began to charge at Shinpachi before Mikey stepped in between them.
"No people, let's be smart and bring it off." Mikey tried to cool the situation down.
"Oh, so now the talking carrot is gonna preach us." Katsura said mockingly.
"ZURAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Gintoki was about to faint, he almost had the money.
"Zura janai, Katsura da." Katsura covered his mouth quickly as he knew it slipped out.
"OI, I knew it all along! You're under arrest Katsura Kotaro!" Hijikata pushed off Mikey and chased after Katsura.
"ELIZABETH!" Katsura yelled. She burst through one of the doors and threw a smoke bomb in the air. The two vanished, but Gintoki noticed the bathroom door closing, he shook his head.
"Arg, where did he go?! I'm searching this house top to bottom, you hear me!" Hijikata declared.
'Oi, Shinpachi, did you hear that? He's searching everywhere.' Gintoki said to Shinpachi in thought.
'That means he's going to find Ozu-san and Guano-san. Alright.' Shinpachi nodded his head. The two tackled Hijikata to the ground and tapped his hands and mouth shut.
"Look at him struggle, haha!" Gintoki chuckled as he and Shinpachi placed him in the room with Guano and Ozu. Shinpachi and Gintoki turn around to head back into the living room and see Mikey being dragged out the room.
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mikey screamed as if he was falling down a trash chute.
"MIKEY-SAN!" Shinpachi screamed as he and Gintoki raced to save him. They grabbed his legs and managed to pull him back in. "What the heck just happened in here?!" Shinpachi questioned.
"H...him..." Mikey pointed to the hole where a dark figure stood, the light revealed his true form,
TBC
"This is the last time I make a sudden cameo." Takasugi attempted to leave but was grabbed by Hijikata.
"Tsk, how could I let a high end criminal like you off the hook so easily." he handcuffed him and sat him on the floor in front of everyone. The loud noise of the dog and the woman were still raging down the halls of the apartments.
"Oi! Everyone listen up. We need to split into groups to help stop that dog. Kagura, you take that Sadist, Gonard, Yamazaki, and Lily to go retrieve them. Loser, Gorilla, Zu-, I mean Captain Zura, and Mikey will clean up the apartment. Ok, break!" Gintoki yelled, raising his hands in the air.
"OI who are you calling a Loser, you wavy-haired punk?!" Hijikata got in his face, and the two tangled. Team 1 (Kiyoko Retrieval Unit) headed out of the giant hole in the apartment.
"What about me, Mr. Samurai?" Mitsuki pipped up, as she was left off the list. Gintoki stood up from his fight with the vice chief and stared blankly at her. He leaned over to Mikey.
"Who is that?" Gintoki looked on confused.
"I don't know, Gintoki She looks like any average Joe." Mikey whispered back.
"Oh...haha...yeah, uhm..." Gintoki stumbled while Mitsuki looked back visibly pissed.
"Ah! That's right, her name is Minnie! You're Mickey's wife!" Katsura said with a sure face.
"WHAT?!" Mitsuki looked offended.
"Yeah, just uhm...look after this fish! Take this fish, and this dead beat with you into the sick ::dolphin noise:: door room." Gintoki handed Minnie the Jade Tiger Fish and Takasugi and shoo'd her off into the room.
"How exactly are we going to clean this place up, it's not even our problem." Kondou said looking around the mess that was made. Gintoki put his arm around the Gorilla's shoulder.
"Between you and me big guy, Otae-san said she's ready for that big hairy butt, and Shinpachi's out of the equation." Gintoki was trying his best to smooth talk the Chief.
"REALLY?! AH YEAH, TOSHI, LET'S DO THIS!" Kondou magically got on a French maid's outfit and started dusting like crazy.
"OI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING KONDOU?!" Hijikata was frantic at this point, he was at his wits end.
"That's the spirit Kondou!" the red haired dork chimed in. The 5 all threw on French maid outfits and started to clean up the living room as best they could.
"Oi, Hijikata, you look even worse than usual." Gintoki chuckled and Katsura also started to chuckle.
"OI, WHAT'S SO FUNNY, YOU'RE BOTH WEARING THE SAME THING. And frankly, it's not nice to laugh at somebody you don't know." Hijikata was starting to get suspicious of Captain Katsura. Katsura glared back at him.
Team 1 was attempting to search for the dog and the woman, but the task was harder than they bargained for. Kagura, Sougo, and Lily stayed close together.
"They knocked out the entire power supply, now would be the only time to use that good-for-nothing's lighter." Okita said trying to peer around the different rooms that had been torn apart by the beast.
"That's fine, we have this." Kagura shot a bullet from her umbrella and lit Sougo's hair on fire. He screamed and ran down the hallway trying to find some water.
"Nice work kid, haha." Lily high five'd Kagura. "Say, where did those two spazz's go anyway?" the scene panned over to Gonard in a chef's outfit and Yamazaki sitting at a table.
"Dinner is served." Gonard laid two large sandwiches on the table and sat next to Yamazaki.
"If the Vice-Chief catches me doing this, I'm do dead...what the hell?!" Yamazaki and Gonard chowed down on the sandwiches. While eating them, a dark figure placed rags over their mouths, knocking them out. He dragged the two into the darkness, with only the flash of a yellow-tinted light shining out.
The scene shifts over to Mitsuki, Jazz, and Takasugi sitting on the bed in the sick ::dolphin noise:: room. Mitsuki looked around, not knowing what to do with the fish. She glanced over at Takasugi, he laying down, looking at the ceiling.
"So...why were you arrested?" Mitsuki asked to break the awkwardness.
"Oh you know, murder, terrorism, the likes." he casually said, still not breaking his view of the ceiling. Mitsuki scooted farther away from him and clung onto the bowl. Just then, the sliding door swung open and a man with a red jacket fell out and a red head stepped out after him.
"Ahahaha! I knew I heard a familiar voice!" Sakamoto laughed and looked down on Takasugi.
"Oh lord, why him and why now." Takasugi looked visibly annoyed at this point, he attempted to stand up but fell face first. "Ow! My only eye!" Sakamoto continued to laugh until Mutsu slugged him a good one. Mitsuki was scared and just prayed to be let free.
The French maids continued to clean, until all the mess was finally cleaned up from the dog, and the wall debris.
Gintoki thought to himself, 'The money, it's finally in reach...' his thought lingered on. "Ok men, we just need to get this wall fixed, and we're done."
"WHEN DO I GET OTAE-SAN?!" the gorilla was leaping in joy as his dream was finally about to come true.
"NEVER!" a sliding door down the hall burst open and Shinpachi emerged.
"SHINPACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
"Gintoki told me that you finally gave your consent!" Kondou said with hearts in his eyes. Shinpachi knocked the Gorilla out the hole in the wall.
"KONDOU! OI, SHINPACHI, YOU'RE GOING TO PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!" Hijikata drew his blade and began to charge at Shinpachi before Mikey stepped in between them.
"No people, let's be smart and bring it off." Mikey tried to cool the situation down.
"Oh, so now the talking carrot is gonna preach us." Katsura said mockingly.
"ZURAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Zura janai, Katsura da." Katsura covered his mouth quickly as he knew it slipped out.
"OI, I knew it all along! You're under arrest Katsura Kotaro!" Hijikata pushed off Mikey and chased after Katsura.
"ELIZABETH!" Katsura yelled. She burst through one of the doors and threw a smoke bomb in the air. The two vanished, but Gintoki noticed the bathroom door closing, he shook his head.
"Arg, where did he go?! I'm searching this house top to bottom, you hear me!" Hijikata declared.
'Oi, Shinpachi, did you hear that? He's searching everywhere.' Gintoki said to Shinpachi in thought.
'That means he's going to find Ozu-san and Guano-san. Alright.' Shinpachi nodded his head. The two tackled Hijikata to the ground and tapped his hands and mouth shut.
"Look at him struggle, haha!" Gintoki chuckled as he and Shinpachi placed him in the room with Guano and Ozu. Shinpachi and Gintoki turn around to head back into the living room and see Mikey being dragged out the room.
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mikey screamed as if he was falling down a trash chute.
"MIKEY-SAN!" Shinpachi screamed as he and Gintoki raced to save him. They grabbed his legs and managed to pull him back in. "What the heck just happened in here?!" Shinpachi questioned.
"H...him..." Mikey pointed to the hole where a dark figure stood, the light revealed his true form,
TBC
Episode 8: Written by: Cha, Date: May 14, 2016
"Yes Man!?" Mikey said as he saw the sinister looking assistant look ever so smug. "How many pathetic nerds with glasses can there be in one room?"
"What do you mean by that?" Shin said angrily.
"That's riiiight!" Yesman said as he inched closer to them. "I'm here to take revenge on that silver haired doofus for making my silver haired boss faint!" Yes Man said energetically.
"Oi, I have nothing against someone with silver hair as well. As long as they're not trying to copyright me off." Gintoki said while digging for gold with his pinky nail.
"I think that's one of the people Kagura threw out the window earlier if I recall correctly." Shin said.
"Yep and you're unlucky I'm alive because when I get through with you silver hair, you'll be a samurai long forgotten with time. And I will have avenged-" Yes Man got cut off.
"OBJECTION! Hold on wait a minute. Yes Man doesn't talk this much, he only uses short phrases!" Mikey exclaimed and pointed at him like Phoenix Wright.
"Well uh, um. The writer always makes me talk more than I usually do on the actual show!" Yes Man replied looking sweaty.
"Even so, you look kinda different than usual." Mikey said.
"Wait a second..." Gintoki walked over to Yes Man.
"GIN-SAN! Be careful!" Shin yelled.
"Yeah be careful Hen-san!" Mikey added.
"It's GIN-san..." Shin said blankly.
"Look, I didn't come all the way down from my sparkling mineral water bath in my apartment with cucumbers all over my body and cleaning my cuticles with the tears of B-Star actors to be harassed buy a nerdy kid with big frames on his face. So, if I want to call him Gin-san, or Hen-san or hell, Hentai-san, I can." Mikey said.
"Why is everyone in this room so hopeless.." Shin sighed.
Gintoki looked Yes Man straight in the face and noticed something about him, his pupils looked huge and-
"ARE YOU TELLING ME WE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM FROM THE START?!" Shin freaked out.
"Gintoki Sakata. The end has finally drawn near for you and your companions for stealing our commrad." Takechi said in a monotone voice.
"Are you sure you're not the guy I lended my Jump to?" Gintoki said as he slowly got his wooden sword out and the crazy ::dolphin noise:: music shifted to serious business.
"We were surprised to see you capture Takasugi though, very nice skills." Takechi actually sounded impressed.
"We didn't capture anyone! That crazy freak came here on his own!" Shin explained as he drew out his fists.
"Now, don't become violent. You know that really isn't my thing." Takechi.
All of a sudden Mikey had an idea. An actual one with thoughts!
"Here! Take Ozu's katana that I may or may not been using as a bikini shaver." Mikey said.
"I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT." Gin and Shin both said synchronized.
"Well you're gonna need all the help you can get." The man with the freaky eyes said and suddenly a blonde woman with two guns leaped from out of no where. Shin was so afraid, he was gonna pick up the katana but stopped his shaking hand.
"NOPE, STILL NOT WORTH IT." Shin said.
"My, how long has it been since we've seen Takasugi'-senseis old joui companion?" Matako said.
"That's a trick question! The writer wouldn't know, since she's only on episode 64!" Gintoki said as he held his wooden sword out and Shin/Mikey were behind him.
"Now where is Takasugi-sensei?" She ordered.
"Why do we even have to take this? All I was doing was trying to do an Odd Job and get a little extra dough. Now I've got the entire cast of Gintama at my neck." Gintoki said.
"That's not true, you could have a lot more characters like Hasegawa-san, Prince Baka-" Takechi said somehow knowing his friend's/acquaintances's names.
"Enough Takechi-sensei. Now take us to him, Gintoki-san." Matako spoke and Gintoki felt the gun behind his head.
Not like I wasn't going to anyways. To get you terrorists off my ::dolphin noise:: right now is my dream." Gintoki sighed.
Gintoki lead them to the (COOL ::dolphin noise: :) room where Mitsuki, Jazzy and Takasugi was. But Takasugi wasn't there at all and neither did the very frightened Mitsuki know his whereabouts either. Angry and upset, Matako didn't believe in them at all though. Gintoki and her battled it out, yadda yadda. They all fell out of the big hole in the wall after their battle.
"DONDAKE!"
--
After some nonverbal gestures between them, Guano used his tail to reach Hijikata's mayo bottle and Hijikata took the bottle and opened it with his teeth. Managing to put the bottom side of the bottle in his mouth, he poured the mayonnaise on the tied ropes of his arms. And instantly he was free. He took off Guano's rope too as the purple lil' director gagged from the intense smell of mayonnaise.
"Who are you? Are you another friend of that silver haired weirdo?" Guano asked as he was trying to wake Ozu.
"No, far from it. The ::dolphin noise:: locked me in here, but now I'm gonna need a fireplace when I'm done mantling his head." Hijikata
"Uh, nice line?" Guano said and Hijikana kicked down the door like a strong beast.
"GINTOKI! ::dolphin noise:: YOU, YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Hijikana charged at some figure in the distance and overthrew them.
"AHAHAHA! Thought I was Kintoki-kun did ya? Well he left a while ago with some other strange looking characters that I couldn't really see because Mutsu was pushing my face down so I'd stay quiet." Satamoto said as his face was covered in blood as it was smooshed to the ground.
"Oh?" Hijikata questioned.
"Speaking of which she left too, says she'll be back soon though." Satamoto joyfully declared. Hijikata took his foot off of his back as Satamoto got up.
"Oh yeah Satamoto-san. Wasn't that your ship that got dismantled to pieces in the parking lot?" Hijikata pointed to the wall hole.
"Why yes it was! AHAHAHAHAHA" Satamoto was laughing but tears went down his face as the vice chief put cuffs on his hands and he was reminded of his precious cargo being in ruins. "I'm sorry for failing your clean up task, Guano-san."
"What? We never hired you." Guano said who came up behind the smoking man.
"I assume your a resident of this apartment then." Hijikata spoke.
"Yes, but I really don't know what's going on. First I came into the living room and saw three Odd Job people causing a mess and throwing two innocent people out the window. The next thing you know there's a giant hole in the wall from this destroyer of homes." Guano said pointing to crying Satamoto. "And then they locked me and my boss inside that closet! Which reminds me.. Ozu!"
Guano forgot about him in the closet once the sweet brightness of the day's light had reached Guano again. The actor/writer/director/w'ever tried dragging Ozu to the open space in the living room with his furry arms around Ozu's. Guano put Ozu on the couch all comfy with a pillow behind his head and everything. Hijikata put a blanket over his body and head and saluted.
"HE'S NOT DEAD!" Guano said.
"Assault on private property and sticking people in closets. Gintoki and his crew are in a lot more trouble than I thought. I wonder who he went with though." Hijikata squinted.
"Who are you anyway?" Guano asked as he was putting a washcloth on his producer's head.
"Hijikata Toushirou, the vice-chief of the Shinsengumi police force." Hijikata exhaled his cigarette and grabbed the back of Satamoto's collar as the buffoon was trying to crawl away.
--
In fear for her life of all these fighting samuari, Mitsuki runs quickly to the bathroom where Katsura and Elizabeth were secretly hiding.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOVB63V_Pqo
Freaked out even more so Mitsuki let's out a little yell and ran out faster than a june bug at a porch light sale.
"ELIZABETH! I told you to lock the door! Didn't I tell you to do that?! I told you to lock it but you were too busy carving that soap bar to look like a duck! You didn't listen to me!" Katsura yelled at his feathery companion.
Now Hijikata finally escaped Satamoto's dumb laughter by cuffing him to a sofa's leg. He heard Katsura's loud voice through the door. The man kicked down the paper door but it got stuck in his foot. He only payed attention to his captivated foot, leaving Katsura and Elizabeth to escape. Too bad they couldn't, as there was no window in the bathroom. When Hijikata got it out, he looked up with a face of seething anger. But the two terrorists were no where to be seen. Hijikata walked slowly before reaching the shower's curtain and ripping it back with great force.
"What the hell is with this nonsense?!" The demon chief ripped off Elizabeth's wig and she did that weird sound. She fired her laser eyes at his face, causing him to fall to the floor in pain.
"Come on Elizabeth, we have to go!" Katsura grabbed her by the flipper and they made a dash to the living room. All of a sudden they bumped into Kondou who had a bunch of cuts and other nasty wounds from falling out the top level of the tower. He was trying to see where had everyone else had went to, including his own police men.
"Hey, who bumped into me-" Kondou said but without a second delay, Elizabeth changed into a Otae costume and hid Katsura behind her large white body.
"OTAE-SAN?! What are you doing here?" The blushing gorilla giggled as a fuzzy, pink background appeared behind him and Elizabeth nodded.
*I came over to check on Shinpachi, but I have to go now.* Elizabeth said with a sign as her and Katsura were sweating.
"But you just got here! Why don't you stay?I mean I was doing some investigation but maybe we could do it together!" Kondou blushed. "And why are you using a sign instead of verbally talking?"
*It's a new trend here in Tokyo for women. But seriously I have to go now.* Elizabeth rapidly wrote on a sign.
"Wait please don't-" Kondou softly grabbed her hand and at that second she lazer beamed him in the face just like her other victim and he fell down with a bloody face. When they were gonna make a run for it, Kondou grabbed Elizabeth's human-like ankle.
"Otae-san..." He said in a serious tone. "I knew you were savage before but laser eyes and man like legs?! You accepting my hairy butt cheeks and I excepting you hairy legs! It's like a fairy tale!" He said gleefully as he held onto her legs.
"Blast him again." Katsura said behind her still but he noticed that the fuel arrow on her back (roll with it) pointed to empty.
"Here, we can go to the finest restaurants in Tokyo, my treat!" Kondou said smiling and forgetting his duties.
*Your treat?* Elizabeth signed. Katsura and Elizabeth decided to take this chance into eating amazing cuisine and they all went downtown. Guano had been standing there the entire time in shock.
"I... don't even wanna know two people who left with a giant dressed up lady duck.. THAT'S IT! I can't take this! I must be dreaming all of this and I don't know what to even do but to rub my face and sit in a little ball. "AHAHAHAHAHA!" Guano said snapping.
"AHAHAHAHA!" Satamoto said. "So there's not going to be any party after all then?"
"Oh, there's gonna be a party alright.." Suddenly that chick with the guns appeared behind surprised Satamoto and frightened and shaking Guano. Before she could shoot them in their skulls, the real Yes Man came out of nowhere and took the bullet.
"Go, go be a ::dolphin noise:: hero!" Yes Man said to Guano.
"Wow, what a corny line." Matako shot him two more times.
"YES MAN!" Guano cried out.
"No I mean literally. Go get your other suit, Guano." Yes Man said and then fainted.
"H-he actually called me by my actual name. That ::dolphin noise:: waited until the moment he died to do that. And now he's gone and he was practically family." He teared up.
"Go Guano-san! I'll go fight off this she-witch!" Satamoto said though he was still cuffed to the sofa's leg.
"Thank you!" But Guano didn't think of the logic behind Satamoto and he had no time to waste neither. He put on his Masked Tanuki outfit over his regular costume quickly and went to retrieve Hijikata wherever he was. (Who was KO'ed on the bathroom floor and dreaming about his cooking show.) But then he remembered defenseless Ozu was on the couch still...
"MY PARENTS!"
Meanwhile o::dolphin noise::, let's not forget the rescue Kiyoko team. They were really working hard, hard enough to break a sweat.
Lily, Sougo and Kagura were trying to figure out what to order off the menu of the restaurant they were currently in and boy did choosing between dishes tire them out. When all of a sudden, Sougo's boss comes in with a duck thing wearing lipstick, a kimono and wig.
"May I take your orders?" A man with long hair and a mustache asked Sougo and the others.
TBC
"What do you mean by that?" Shin said angrily.
"That's riiiight!" Yesman said as he inched closer to them. "I'm here to take revenge on that silver haired doofus for making my silver haired boss faint!" Yes Man said energetically.
"Oi, I have nothing against someone with silver hair as well. As long as they're not trying to copyright me off." Gintoki said while digging for gold with his pinky nail.
"I think that's one of the people Kagura threw out the window earlier if I recall correctly." Shin said.
"Yep and you're unlucky I'm alive because when I get through with you silver hair, you'll be a samurai long forgotten with time. And I will have avenged-" Yes Man got cut off.
"OBJECTION! Hold on wait a minute. Yes Man doesn't talk this much, he only uses short phrases!" Mikey exclaimed and pointed at him like Phoenix Wright.
"Well uh, um. The writer always makes me talk more than I usually do on the actual show!" Yes Man replied looking sweaty.
"Even so, you look kinda different than usual." Mikey said.
"Wait a second..." Gintoki walked over to Yes Man.
"GIN-SAN! Be careful!" Shin yelled.
"Yeah be careful Hen-san!" Mikey added.
"It's GIN-san..." Shin said blankly.
"Look, I didn't come all the way down from my sparkling mineral water bath in my apartment with cucumbers all over my body and cleaning my cuticles with the tears of B-Star actors to be harassed buy a nerdy kid with big frames on his face. So, if I want to call him Gin-san, or Hen-san or hell, Hentai-san, I can." Mikey said.
"Why is everyone in this room so hopeless.." Shin sighed.
Gintoki looked Yes Man straight in the face and noticed something about him, his pupils looked huge and-
"ARE YOU TELLING ME WE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM FROM THE START?!" Shin freaked out.
"Gintoki Sakata. The end has finally drawn near for you and your companions for stealing our commrad." Takechi said in a monotone voice.
"Are you sure you're not the guy I lended my Jump to?" Gintoki said as he slowly got his wooden sword out and the crazy ::dolphin noise:: music shifted to serious business.
"We were surprised to see you capture Takasugi though, very nice skills." Takechi actually sounded impressed.
"We didn't capture anyone! That crazy freak came here on his own!" Shin explained as he drew out his fists.
"Now, don't become violent. You know that really isn't my thing." Takechi.
All of a sudden Mikey had an idea. An actual one with thoughts!
"Here! Take Ozu's katana that I may or may not been using as a bikini shaver." Mikey said.
"I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT." Gin and Shin both said synchronized.
"Well you're gonna need all the help you can get." The man with the freaky eyes said and suddenly a blonde woman with two guns leaped from out of no where. Shin was so afraid, he was gonna pick up the katana but stopped his shaking hand.
"NOPE, STILL NOT WORTH IT." Shin said.
"My, how long has it been since we've seen Takasugi'-senseis old joui companion?" Matako said.
"That's a trick question! The writer wouldn't know, since she's only on episode 64!" Gintoki said as he held his wooden sword out and Shin/Mikey were behind him.
"Now where is Takasugi-sensei?" She ordered.
"Why do we even have to take this? All I was doing was trying to do an Odd Job and get a little extra dough. Now I've got the entire cast of Gintama at my neck." Gintoki said.
"That's not true, you could have a lot more characters like Hasegawa-san, Prince Baka-" Takechi said somehow knowing his friend's/acquaintances's names.
"Enough Takechi-sensei. Now take us to him, Gintoki-san." Matako spoke and Gintoki felt the gun behind his head.
Not like I wasn't going to anyways. To get you terrorists off my ::dolphin noise:: right now is my dream." Gintoki sighed.
Gintoki lead them to the (COOL ::dolphin noise: :) room where Mitsuki, Jazzy and Takasugi was. But Takasugi wasn't there at all and neither did the very frightened Mitsuki know his whereabouts either. Angry and upset, Matako didn't believe in them at all though. Gintoki and her battled it out, yadda yadda. They all fell out of the big hole in the wall after their battle.
"DONDAKE!"
--
After some nonverbal gestures between them, Guano used his tail to reach Hijikata's mayo bottle and Hijikata took the bottle and opened it with his teeth. Managing to put the bottom side of the bottle in his mouth, he poured the mayonnaise on the tied ropes of his arms. And instantly he was free. He took off Guano's rope too as the purple lil' director gagged from the intense smell of mayonnaise.
"Who are you? Are you another friend of that silver haired weirdo?" Guano asked as he was trying to wake Ozu.
"No, far from it. The ::dolphin noise:: locked me in here, but now I'm gonna need a fireplace when I'm done mantling his head." Hijikata
"Uh, nice line?" Guano said and Hijikana kicked down the door like a strong beast.
"GINTOKI! ::dolphin noise:: YOU, YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Hijikana charged at some figure in the distance and overthrew them.
"AHAHAHA! Thought I was Kintoki-kun did ya? Well he left a while ago with some other strange looking characters that I couldn't really see because Mutsu was pushing my face down so I'd stay quiet." Satamoto said as his face was covered in blood as it was smooshed to the ground.
"Oh?" Hijikata questioned.
"Speaking of which she left too, says she'll be back soon though." Satamoto joyfully declared. Hijikata took his foot off of his back as Satamoto got up.
"Oh yeah Satamoto-san. Wasn't that your ship that got dismantled to pieces in the parking lot?" Hijikata pointed to the wall hole.
"Why yes it was! AHAHAHAHAHA" Satamoto was laughing but tears went down his face as the vice chief put cuffs on his hands and he was reminded of his precious cargo being in ruins. "I'm sorry for failing your clean up task, Guano-san."
"What? We never hired you." Guano said who came up behind the smoking man.
"I assume your a resident of this apartment then." Hijikata spoke.
"Yes, but I really don't know what's going on. First I came into the living room and saw three Odd Job people causing a mess and throwing two innocent people out the window. The next thing you know there's a giant hole in the wall from this destroyer of homes." Guano said pointing to crying Satamoto. "And then they locked me and my boss inside that closet! Which reminds me.. Ozu!"
Guano forgot about him in the closet once the sweet brightness of the day's light had reached Guano again. The actor/writer/director/w'ever tried dragging Ozu to the open space in the living room with his furry arms around Ozu's. Guano put Ozu on the couch all comfy with a pillow behind his head and everything. Hijikata put a blanket over his body and head and saluted.
"HE'S NOT DEAD!" Guano said.
"Assault on private property and sticking people in closets. Gintoki and his crew are in a lot more trouble than I thought. I wonder who he went with though." Hijikata squinted.
"Who are you anyway?" Guano asked as he was putting a washcloth on his producer's head.
"Hijikata Toushirou, the vice-chief of the Shinsengumi police force." Hijikata exhaled his cigarette and grabbed the back of Satamoto's collar as the buffoon was trying to crawl away.
--
In fear for her life of all these fighting samuari, Mitsuki runs quickly to the bathroom where Katsura and Elizabeth were secretly hiding.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOVB63V_Pqo
Freaked out even more so Mitsuki let's out a little yell and ran out faster than a june bug at a porch light sale.
"ELIZABETH! I told you to lock the door! Didn't I tell you to do that?! I told you to lock it but you were too busy carving that soap bar to look like a duck! You didn't listen to me!" Katsura yelled at his feathery companion.
Now Hijikata finally escaped Satamoto's dumb laughter by cuffing him to a sofa's leg. He heard Katsura's loud voice through the door. The man kicked down the paper door but it got stuck in his foot. He only payed attention to his captivated foot, leaving Katsura and Elizabeth to escape. Too bad they couldn't, as there was no window in the bathroom. When Hijikata got it out, he looked up with a face of seething anger. But the two terrorists were no where to be seen. Hijikata walked slowly before reaching the shower's curtain and ripping it back with great force.
"What the hell is with this nonsense?!" The demon chief ripped off Elizabeth's wig and she did that weird sound. She fired her laser eyes at his face, causing him to fall to the floor in pain.
"Come on Elizabeth, we have to go!" Katsura grabbed her by the flipper and they made a dash to the living room. All of a sudden they bumped into Kondou who had a bunch of cuts and other nasty wounds from falling out the top level of the tower. He was trying to see where had everyone else had went to, including his own police men.
"Hey, who bumped into me-" Kondou said but without a second delay, Elizabeth changed into a Otae costume and hid Katsura behind her large white body.
"OTAE-SAN?! What are you doing here?" The blushing gorilla giggled as a fuzzy, pink background appeared behind him and Elizabeth nodded.
*I came over to check on Shinpachi, but I have to go now.* Elizabeth said with a sign as her and Katsura were sweating.
"But you just got here! Why don't you stay?I mean I was doing some investigation but maybe we could do it together!" Kondou blushed. "And why are you using a sign instead of verbally talking?"
*It's a new trend here in Tokyo for women. But seriously I have to go now.* Elizabeth rapidly wrote on a sign.
"Wait please don't-" Kondou softly grabbed her hand and at that second she lazer beamed him in the face just like her other victim and he fell down with a bloody face. When they were gonna make a run for it, Kondou grabbed Elizabeth's human-like ankle.
"Otae-san..." He said in a serious tone. "I knew you were savage before but laser eyes and man like legs?! You accepting my hairy butt cheeks and I excepting you hairy legs! It's like a fairy tale!" He said gleefully as he held onto her legs.
"Blast him again." Katsura said behind her still but he noticed that the fuel arrow on her back (roll with it) pointed to empty.
"Here, we can go to the finest restaurants in Tokyo, my treat!" Kondou said smiling and forgetting his duties.
*Your treat?* Elizabeth signed. Katsura and Elizabeth decided to take this chance into eating amazing cuisine and they all went downtown. Guano had been standing there the entire time in shock.
"I... don't even wanna know two people who left with a giant dressed up lady duck.. THAT'S IT! I can't take this! I must be dreaming all of this and I don't know what to even do but to rub my face and sit in a little ball. "AHAHAHAHAHA!" Guano said snapping.
"AHAHAHAHA!" Satamoto said. "So there's not going to be any party after all then?"
"Oh, there's gonna be a party alright.." Suddenly that chick with the guns appeared behind surprised Satamoto and frightened and shaking Guano. Before she could shoot them in their skulls, the real Yes Man came out of nowhere and took the bullet.
"Go, go be a ::dolphin noise:: hero!" Yes Man said to Guano.
"Wow, what a corny line." Matako shot him two more times.
"YES MAN!" Guano cried out.
"No I mean literally. Go get your other suit, Guano." Yes Man said and then fainted.
"H-he actually called me by my actual name. That ::dolphin noise:: waited until the moment he died to do that. And now he's gone and he was practically family." He teared up.
"Go Guano-san! I'll go fight off this she-witch!" Satamoto said though he was still cuffed to the sofa's leg.
"Thank you!" But Guano didn't think of the logic behind Satamoto and he had no time to waste neither. He put on his Masked Tanuki outfit over his regular costume quickly and went to retrieve Hijikata wherever he was. (Who was KO'ed on the bathroom floor and dreaming about his cooking show.) But then he remembered defenseless Ozu was on the couch still...
"MY PARENTS!"
Meanwhile o::dolphin noise::, let's not forget the rescue Kiyoko team. They were really working hard, hard enough to break a sweat.
Lily, Sougo and Kagura were trying to figure out what to order off the menu of the restaurant they were currently in and boy did choosing between dishes tire them out. When all of a sudden, Sougo's boss comes in with a duck thing wearing lipstick, a kimono and wig.
"May I take your orders?" A man with long hair and a mustache asked Sougo and the others.
TBC
Episode 9: Written by: Aya, Date: May 14th, 2016
"Hey Gonard...where the hell are we?" Yamazaki nudged his newly found buddy. Gonard was confused as well, he looked around the room. It was solid concrete, cold, and very dark. The only light that was present was the swaying light bulb above them. "We've been here for what feels like an hour." Yamazaki said. The two were sitting in chairs, and table in front of them. They were not refrained, but decided to just sit anyway, since it was better than the cold ground they awoke on.
"I have no idea Zaki, all I know is that I'm super hungry." Gonard said, while his stomach roared.
"We just ate!" Yamazaki said, pointing out the mayonnaise that was on Gonard's lips. "Man...mayonnasie. I hope Vice-Chief is alright." Yamazaki said worrying about his superior. Suddenly a door burst open and two men entered.
"Ki...KIHEITAI!" Yamazaki yelled. It was revealed to be Bansai and Takasugi. "Didn't we arrest you?!" Yamazaki said pointing at Takasugi.
"Did you honestly think you loser Shinsengumi could really hold me in custody that long? I should kill you on the spot." Takasugi drew his katana and held it right in front of Yamazaki's face. "In all the confusion that happened in the penthouse, Bansai helped me escape. That blue haired ditz didn't even try to stop me, neither did that low life Sakamoto." Takasugi said.
"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DITZ!" Gonard stood up but was smacked by Bansai's guitar. "Hey! That hurt man." Gonard rubbed his cheek. While all the commotion was happening Yamazaki started to reach for his katana, but found nothing.
"Tsk, you actually thought we'd let you keep your katana." Takasugi said making a small cut on Yamazaki's nose. He winced in pain. "You're going to make nice trophies for my gang." Takasugi gave a slight laughter before sheathing his sword.
The scene panned over to the restaurant. Sougo and the others gave their order. He looked over and saw his boss.
"Kondou-san? I thought you were on clean up duty at the house?" Sougo said handing his menu to the mustached man.
"Sougo! I'm finally on a date with Otae, I DID IT!" he put his arms around the large alien. Elizabeth let out the classic noise. "Look at the cute noises she makes!" Kondou was absolutely love struck. The "waiter" looked over at Elizabeth and gave her a small thumbs up.
"OI, WAITER, where the heck is my food." Kagura slammed the table, making it flip on top of her and Lily.
"YOU FREAKIN SPAZZ!" Lily freaked out as the drinks they ordered spilled all over her.
"Waiter janai, Katsura da." his mustache fell of and into Sougo's lap.
"KATSURA!" he whipped out his blaster and shot it at Katsura. He dodged it and made a be-line out of the restaurant, with Sougo in hot pursuit. Elizabeth attempted to get up, but was stopped by Kondou.
"Where are you going Otae? My man has that terrorist under control. Just stay here with me and have a great time!" Kondou said, holding her flipper.
"I'm really freaking hungry." Kagura said, leaving the place with Lily.
"Well, if you hadn't slammed the table, everything would have went swimmingly." Lily said with anger in her voice. Suddenly, Sadaharu and Kiyoko popped out of the lobby of LilyMu Towers and rammed into the studios.
"There they are! Let's go, uh-huh!" Kagura yelled and started to drag Lily with her.
"Stop right there evil-dooer!" Guano leaped up on top of the coffee table. Makato looked up after having cleaned her shoes of the Yes-Man blood. "The Masked Tanuki is he-" before he could finish his sentence, Makato shot him square in the chest, knocking him to the floor. Guano reached for his chest, thinking this was it for him, but luckily, he kept his usual costume on, as it absorbed the bullet's impact. He laid still to fool her.
"Pitiful really." she looked down at Sakamoto to see he too had a gun, a much larger one at that. The two had a stand off for a few moments until the Sakamoto peered past her and saw his ship rising to the hole.
"AHAHAHAHA! MUTSU, YOU REALLY DID IT, THE ABSOLUTE MAD WOMAN! AHAHAHA!" Mutsu was piloting the Kaientai and Gintoki was on the nose of the ship.
"GIN-SAN!" Shinpachi yelled in delight. Just as his grand arrival, it suddenly fell drastically as Hijikata had recovered from his laser injury and leap onto the ship.
"OI, I'VE HAD IT WITH ALL OF YOU, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST THIS TIME SAKATA GINTOKI." Gintoki shoved Hijikata off of the ship and sent him plummeting to the ground below.
"You can't beat both of us White Demon." Takechi said, drawing his sword.
"I have some friends! MIKEY!" Gintoki yelled. Mikey Simon took Ozu's katana and sliced Takechi right in the back, knocking him down. However, knowing Mikey, he was wielding the sword backwards and didn't even cut him at all. Makato shot the blade, and broke it into pieces.
"MIKEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Gintoki yelled. "Oh well, I guess I gotta do it myself. Shinpachi!" Gin tossed Shinpachi his own sword and threw a punch at Takechi, knocking his sword out of his hand. Shinpachi attempted to dodge Makato's bullet and went in for a few more strikes. The battle raged on.
The scene went over to Mitsuki and Jazz sitting in the cool ::dolphin noise:: room.
"You know Jazz, this has been one crazy day, I'm just glad I have some peace and quiet now." Mitsuki sighed with relief.
"You're right Mitsuki-dono." the fish emerged from the bowl in his Garfielf form. She fainted in shock at this horrific sight.
TBC
Episode 10: Written by: Cha, Date: May 16, 2016
"Dad?!" Dadddd!" cried out a TV star who played a purple creature in Lilymu. "Wake up dad, the bad guys are here!"
"Oi, why are you yelling in my ear and calling me dad?!" Yamazaki said as him and Gonard woke up. They found themselves were tied together on top of Mount Fuji and started to scream.
"Yamazaki, I'm scared. Really, really scared." Gonard told his companion.
"Heh." A dashing man in a purple robe and bandage on his face turned around.
"Oh hey, it's third eye blind!" Gonard said.
"No Gonard-kun, it's Shinsuke!" Yamazaki said.
"I thought his name was Takasugi.." Gonard said and Yamazaki banged his head against his fists.
"Call me anything you want, because in a few moments you'll be dead anyways." Takasugi smirked.
"What! Don't you know that Mount Fuji hasn't been active for centuries?" Yamazaki said.
"That may be true, but my foot is still pretty active." Takasugi kicked the both of them off the mountain and chuckled. But then..
"Bonsai-san? What are you doing!" Takasugi said as Bonsai-san flew a chopper and Gonard and Yamazaki were holding onto the bottom of it.
"What? Did you say something? I can't hear you." Bonsai said.
"You can't hear anyone in general you moron! Shake off those two nuisances off of your chopper!" Takasugi yelled trying to talk over the loud thing.
"What? You want me to make up with those two nerds who were beaten up in school? You're gonna have to be more specific, Takasugi-san. During those rough years of middle school, every prepubescent boy gets thrown around a lot." Bansai said.
Takasugi jumped over the chopper and cut it in half at lighting fast speed with his samurai sword. Bansai jumped out on the volcano, as did Yamazaki and Gonard.
"Now then.. let's settle this like men, right Bansai?" Takasugi said but then-
"YOUR CROTCH IS A BLEEP BLEEP!" Gonard kicked off guard Bansai in the ying-yang-yo. " AND THE ONLY PRODUCER WHO DESERVES A BANSAI IS PASSED OUT AT LILYMU TOWERS RIGHT NOW!" Gonard kicked him again a few more times for good measure until Bansai was in fetal position. Gonard put on his headphones."Oh hey this is actually pretty good." Gonard said snapping his fingers to the dope beat.
...
"Guess that makes more fun for me." Takasugi said and with ease he stabbed someone from the back. But it was neither Gonard or Yamazaki. And the stab didn't affect him whatsoever.
"We meet again, Takasugi." A masculine Amanto fish said, cracking his knuckles.
-
As the wild Sadaharu ran through Tokyo, Kiyoko held on with all her might. They were heading towards Lilymu Studios and the dog was gonna slam right into it soon.
"Dog, please don't slam into Ozu's business, it means so much to him! Ah, who am I foolin' go right away, can't say that I didn't try." But Sadaharu saw shiny fire hydrants near the bus stop. "::dolphin noise::."
One homeless guy with some shades and another dressed in a red hip-hop jumpsuit were sitting on the bench at the bus stop.
"So there I was y'all, knee-deep in boostas. I tried to escape the hustleahs but they kept after me like fukkin' blood hounds or somethin', bc they were craving the scent of my skin. Resistance was futile I guess. But I wuz gladly ready to participate, I took off all my clothes and begun.. And that's basically the time I donated my stuff to Good Will." Brozu said as he waited for the bus for his next dance club shin ding.
All of a sudden Sadaharu knocked over the bench where Hasegawa and Brozu were sitting. The bench fell over like a teeter-totter and Brozu flung on Sadaharu's back, the hip old man shaking in fear.
"Wait! You get a line and more scenes, when I got was a cameo?!" Madao said as no one listened to him as usual, sadly.
Sougo used Madao's head as a step and the sunglasses wearing homeless man fell over. "This is your last chance, Katsura... to live that is!" He said in full speed towards the long haired ripped stallion man who was running on roof tops.
"It's gonna take a lot more than that to stop this revolution." Katsura said but the blast from Sougo was so close to him that it went over Katsura's head. When the smoke cleared, the top of Katsura's skull was bald. But the long hair on the sides of his head still were there, so it looked really weird.
"Nice receding hairline, old man." Sougo laughed and cried as he took out his phone to take a snapshot of it.
"What?" Katsura looked in a puddle on the rooftop to see the horrors of his scalp in a reflection.
**meanwhile somewhere in the parking lot of the Towers*
Hijikata is laying practically dead on the road on his face, but the ding on his phone goes off. He rolls over, with inflated and infected cheeks (u choose which cheeks) and other bodily damages.
"Ughh what do we have here.." Hijikata clicks on the clipped attachment on the text. "OI, OI, OI! HAHAHAHA GET THE LOOK ON THIS LOSER'S FACE-" Hijikata last said before a backing out truck runs over his head with its' tire. It was Mitsuki, who just wanted to take a breather outside from all the events that went on.
"Oh no, I gotta get out of this town and start a new life!" She said seeing mostly or (maybe completely) dead green haired man. But in reality, she just saw a dead lady bug she accidentally hurt. As she flew with the pedal to the gas out to the sunset, she didn't realize that Hijikata was stuck on the back bumper on the truck. His idle body flipped and flopped around on the hard pavement of the highway for the next twenty miles.
**
"yYOOU! YOU RUINED MY GLORIOUS MANE! NOW PREPARE TO DIE!" Katsura said ignoring his own rules of his Joui group being peaceful,
but this time it was personal. At this, Katsura got an idea, they could never catch him if he was on Leader's dog. He sprung on the dog with Kiyoko and Brozu.
"Wait who are you- BALD, BALD, BALD!" Kiyoko and Brozu said to him as their eyes were literally melting down.
"BALD JUNAI, KATSURA DA." The semi bald man yelled at the two.
"Man your aging appearance is making me sick to my stomach, dude.." Kiyoko said. "Or maybe it's us getting attacked by the police AGAIN."
"What are you talking about! You two are old hags yourselves! You're probably in your 50's!" Katsura yelled as he tried
stirring away the dog from Sougo's blaster.
"Hey don't call my lil' sis an old hag! Only I can do that!" Brozu said and Kiyoko almost threw him in the way of Sougo's blast. He was so stunned, he couldn't talk anymore.
"Oi Katsura, you can't run away forever." Sougo got into one of the cool ::dolphin noise:: flying cars and did twirls 'n ::dolphin noise:: for the ladies back home. ;))) All of a sudden, two chicks chased after Sougo's cool ::dolphin noise:: car! AAAH!
"You wait here bottle-blonde, I'm gonna go at full Yato speed." Kagura ripped some pickled seaweed in her mouth and flew into the sky with a mighty jump.
"WELL AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS!" Lily yelled and wondered what to do next with her time as the multiple scenes coming up were probably without her.
"Oh hey a nail spa!" Lily looked at it eagerly and went across the road but then got smacked with Mitsuki's truck. Thankfully she fell inside the truck.
"Wait a second you dirty, Coconut Head imposter!! DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY SADA-HAR-UUU!" Katsura said as she ran up the sides of the flying police car and soccer punched Sougo in the jaw, causing the car to swirvel. She pushed him aside to the passenger seat and took control of the stirring wheel. Kagura pretended being one of those cops that don't play by the rules and used her pickled seaweed as a cigarette.
"What are you doing you little brat! Don't you know it's unsafe to eat and drive at the same time?" Sougo kept elbowing Kagura in the face but she elbowed back. She kicked him in the little blasters.
"DON'T TOUCH ME I'M STERILE." Sougo said.
"This just all has to be an nightmare! We've destroyed too much already.. the amount of money to come out of my paycheck for
the expenses will give me a stroke itself. I'll be stripped of everything at Ozoom. I had dreams, DREAMS YOU KNOW. DREAMS OF A FOUNDTAIN OF MOUNTAIN DEW IN MY LIBRARY. NOW HOW CAN I DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW IN THE STONEY LONESOME? I CAN'T DUDE!" Kiyoko said.
"DUDE JANAI, KATSURA DA! WE WENT THROUGH THIS!" Katsura protected Brozu from the blast as Brozu lost another sense, his hearing.
"DON'T HIT MY DOG YOU GIRLFRIEND-LESS SADIST!" Kagura kept hitting him in the head with her foot as each time she did he yelled out ow.
"What are we even going on about? Anxiety had taken over me but now give me the reigns, I'm not gonna die in the hands
of Coconut Head." She grabbed Sadaharu by his collar and they stirred back home.
"No wait, my gig's this way!" Brozu said. They went up the building like a fun roller coaster ride as the six flags theme played.. somehow via Brozu's boombox he just had on him for his gig.. give me a break it's 5 am and I'm writing. But Sadaharu lost his grip on the windows and fell backwards.
"SADAHARU!" screamed Kagura.
"Finally! A clean shot of Katsura!" Sougo said and aimed his bubblegum bazooka.
As Katsura was falling mid-air to his death, either by Sougo or the ground below, with a
freaked out old hag and a wanna-be Katsurapper old man, he could only think of one thing.
"ELIZABETH!!!!! YOU BETTER HAVE SAVED ME SOME RAMEN NOODLES! OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"
--
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcDTfH-hMUs
"Otae-chan.." Kondou and "Otae" were sitting in the grass as there was a big full moon in the sky.
*Yes?* Elizabeth signed.
"I just want to say that today.. was the best day of my life. From the boat ride, to the festival to sitting out
here with you, just looking at the stars in heaven above.." The man said getting lost in his thoughts.
*I actually had fun too.* She wrote.
"Would you ever want to do it again..? Kondou said, waiting for a let down though.
*I wish I could, but-.* Elizabeth begun to ponder how bad it would look if Joui members
found out she did like spending time with this guy, this big hairy ape who smelled like sweat usually? But then she remembered the smiling face of her owner, Katsura and how close to him she was. She couldn't betray her best friend. *But, I did have a good time tonight, at least.* She got up and started to leave.
"You didn't just like spending time together because of the food right?" Kondou asked sincerely as he was sniffling over his dream woman leaving.
*Not completely, Gorilla.*
At that, Kondou began to smile a little bit and turned his face back to viewing the moon..
"WAIT OTAE-CHAN! WE CAN STILL HAVE FUN TOGETHER! WITH FOOD TOO!" The man leaped out for Elizabeth but she laser beamed him into dust.
Suddenly, she heard the distant yell of a familiar friend.
and even worse, she saved him no ramen noodles
----
As the battle between Matako, Gin and four eyes went on we reach Guano where he tries to wake up Ozu again-
"OI IS THAT ANY WAY TO CALL ME THAT OR SKIP OUR SCENE?" Shinpachi said at uh- me.
"Oi, Oi, that's right writer. If anything you should be ashamed of yourself for even think of not including us right now. We're the real heart of TBC." Gintoki also said.
"But, I might have written you in... later though because it's 7 am and I didn't even go to bed..." Cha said as the scene panned out to an image of the outside of Lilymu Towers like as they do in the regular Gintama series during specials.
"Now you're gonna rip off our extremely cost effective unique way of starting up specials in the show?! Kagura would be disgusted." Gintoki asked.
"And I am disgusted!" Kagura said eating pickled seaweed.
"OI WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?! You're suppose to be on the rescue team downtown! " Shin yelled.
"I got tired of being a good cop gone bad. And this is an parody of the parody that I needed to be apart of since I'm the main character uh-huh." She explained.
"A parody? A pear ID? Why would a pear need an ID, this is making no sense whatsoever." Gintoki said.
"A parody, it's when an outside source makes a joke about our show in an amusing or sarcastic way." Shinpachi added.
"That sounds awfully crude of them. Wasting their time of day writing behind computer screens on tiny, insignificant message boards." Gin said and shook his head.
"At least it's better than wasting all day reading Jump..." Shin said.
"Can we make a parody about a pear needing an ID?" Kagura asked.
"Yeah yeah, we just need some underaged pear trying to sneak into a bar to finally ask out his big brother's girlfriend. It'll be a classic hit." Gintoki agreed.
"Why are you two hung up over pears." Shin asked.
"Pears are a good strength, they provide the growing boy's body with needed sugar!" Gintoki declared.
"Yeah Shinpachi, look at you you're all Shin and bones, because you lack the sugar your growing boy body still needs." Kagura said.
"OI, WHEN DID THIS BECOME ABOUT ME?" Shin asked.
"But I thought you wanted it to be about you, you even yelled about it." Kagura said.
"No I didn't." Shin replied.
"Yeah you did and I have the evidence." Gin said.
"WAIT NO ACE ACCTORNEY PARODIES! WE CAN ONLY MAKE THIS TBC SO LONG YOU KNOW!" Shin butted in.
"Fine, fine. Let the public out on the real TBC." Gin said. "But I am still showing the evidence that you are wrong on your claim that you didn't want the spotlight.
Quote
"OI IS THAT ANY WAY TO CALL ME THAT OR SKIP OUR SCENE?" Shinpachi said
"I said OUR scene..." Shin blankly stated.
"You shouldn't lie Shinpachi, it causes you to wrinkle prematurely." Kagura said.
"Yeah, yeah the seaweed smelling girl is right Shinpachi." Gin said.
"We're gonna do this for your own good now." Kagura added.
"Do what?" The glasses guy asked.
"What, okay. You honestly think that bothers me? It's just a little button." Shin stated.
"OI, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN GET ME IN TROUBLE FOR ALL I'VE DONE
FOR THIS TEAM?!" Shinpachi said.
"HELLO?" Shin asked.
..
..
"That's your fault."
"Your fault indeed."
"I can't see who said what now! Turn back on the overly repeated 'saids'!" Shin whined.
"WHO SAID I WHINED?!" Shin ::dolphin noise::ed.
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!" Shin ::dolphin noise::ted in his britches like a boy who needs more sugary pears in his diet for his growing, boy body.
"DONDAKE!!!!!!! Now we'll never get to get our fight scene and find out who defeats Matako!"
Suddenly there was a loud gun shot and an eerie kind of sound..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy1lUiuizHk
-
"Oi, why are you yelling in my ear and calling me dad?!" Yamazaki said as him and Gonard woke up. They found themselves were tied together on top of Mount Fuji and started to scream.
"Yamazaki, I'm scared. Really, really scared." Gonard told his companion.
"Heh." A dashing man in a purple robe and bandage on his face turned around.
"Oh hey, it's third eye blind!" Gonard said.
"No Gonard-kun, it's Shinsuke!" Yamazaki said.
"I thought his name was Takasugi.." Gonard said and Yamazaki banged his head against his fists.
"Call me anything you want, because in a few moments you'll be dead anyways." Takasugi smirked.
"What! Don't you know that Mount Fuji hasn't been active for centuries?" Yamazaki said.
"That may be true, but my foot is still pretty active." Takasugi kicked the both of them off the mountain and chuckled. But then..
"Bonsai-san? What are you doing!" Takasugi said as Bonsai-san flew a chopper and Gonard and Yamazaki were holding onto the bottom of it.
"What? Did you say something? I can't hear you." Bonsai said.
"You can't hear anyone in general you moron! Shake off those two nuisances off of your chopper!" Takasugi yelled trying to talk over the loud thing.
"What? You want me to make up with those two nerds who were beaten up in school? You're gonna have to be more specific, Takasugi-san. During those rough years of middle school, every prepubescent boy gets thrown around a lot." Bansai said.
Takasugi jumped over the chopper and cut it in half at lighting fast speed with his samurai sword. Bansai jumped out on the volcano, as did Yamazaki and Gonard.
"Now then.. let's settle this like men, right Bansai?" Takasugi said but then-
"YOUR CROTCH IS A BLEEP BLEEP!" Gonard kicked off guard Bansai in the ying-yang-yo. " AND THE ONLY PRODUCER WHO DESERVES A BANSAI IS PASSED OUT AT LILYMU TOWERS RIGHT NOW!" Gonard kicked him again a few more times for good measure until Bansai was in fetal position. Gonard put on his headphones."Oh hey this is actually pretty good." Gonard said snapping his fingers to the dope beat.
"Guess that makes more fun for me." Takasugi said and with ease he stabbed someone from the back. But it was neither Gonard or Yamazaki. And the stab didn't affect him whatsoever.
"We meet again, Takasugi." A masculine Amanto fish said, cracking his knuckles.
-
As the wild Sadaharu ran through Tokyo, Kiyoko held on with all her might. They were heading towards Lilymu Studios and the dog was gonna slam right into it soon.
"Dog, please don't slam into Ozu's business, it means so much to him! Ah, who am I foolin' go right away, can't say that I didn't try." But Sadaharu saw shiny fire hydrants near the bus stop. "::dolphin noise::."
One homeless guy with some shades and another dressed in a red hip-hop jumpsuit were sitting on the bench at the bus stop.
"So there I was y'all, knee-deep in boostas. I tried to escape the hustleahs but they kept after me like fukkin' blood hounds or somethin', bc they were craving the scent of my skin. Resistance was futile I guess. But I wuz gladly ready to participate, I took off all my clothes and begun.. And that's basically the time I donated my stuff to Good Will." Brozu said as he waited for the bus for his next dance club shin ding.
All of a sudden Sadaharu knocked over the bench where Hasegawa and Brozu were sitting. The bench fell over like a teeter-totter and Brozu flung on Sadaharu's back, the hip old man shaking in fear.
"Wait! You get a line and more scenes, when I got was a cameo?!" Madao said as no one listened to him as usual, sadly.
Sougo used Madao's head as a step and the sunglasses wearing homeless man fell over. "This is your last chance, Katsura... to live that is!" He said in full speed towards the long haired ripped stallion man who was running on roof tops.
"It's gonna take a lot more than that to stop this revolution." Katsura said but the blast from Sougo was so close to him that it went over Katsura's head. When the smoke cleared, the top of Katsura's skull was bald. But the long hair on the sides of his head still were there, so it looked really weird.
"Nice receding hairline, old man." Sougo laughed and cried as he took out his phone to take a snapshot of it.
"What?" Katsura looked in a puddle on the rooftop to see the horrors of his scalp in a reflection.
**meanwhile somewhere in the parking lot of the Towers*
Hijikata is laying practically dead on the road on his face, but the ding on his phone goes off. He rolls over, with inflated and infected cheeks (u choose which cheeks) and other bodily damages.
"Ughh what do we have here.." Hijikata clicks on the clipped attachment on the text. "OI, OI, OI! HAHAHAHA GET THE LOOK ON THIS LOSER'S FACE-" Hijikata last said before a backing out truck runs over his head with its' tire. It was Mitsuki, who just wanted to take a breather outside from all the events that went on.
"Oh no, I gotta get out of this town and start a new life!" She said seeing mostly or (maybe completely) dead green haired man. But in reality, she just saw a dead lady bug she accidentally hurt. As she flew with the pedal to the gas out to the sunset, she didn't realize that Hijikata was stuck on the back bumper on the truck. His idle body flipped and flopped around on the hard pavement of the highway for the next twenty miles.
**
"yYOOU! YOU RUINED MY GLORIOUS MANE! NOW PREPARE TO DIE!" Katsura said ignoring his own rules of his Joui group being peaceful,
but this time it was personal. At this, Katsura got an idea, they could never catch him if he was on Leader's dog. He sprung on the dog with Kiyoko and Brozu.
"Wait who are you- BALD, BALD, BALD!" Kiyoko and Brozu said to him as their eyes were literally melting down.
"BALD JUNAI, KATSURA DA." The semi bald man yelled at the two.
"Man your aging appearance is making me sick to my stomach, dude.." Kiyoko said. "Or maybe it's us getting attacked by the police AGAIN."
"What are you talking about! You two are old hags yourselves! You're probably in your 50's!" Katsura yelled as he tried
stirring away the dog from Sougo's blaster.
"Hey don't call my lil' sis an old hag! Only I can do that!" Brozu said and Kiyoko almost threw him in the way of Sougo's blast. He was so stunned, he couldn't talk anymore.
"Oi Katsura, you can't run away forever." Sougo got into one of the cool ::dolphin noise:: flying cars and did twirls 'n ::dolphin noise:: for the ladies back home. ;))) All of a sudden, two chicks chased after Sougo's cool ::dolphin noise:: car! AAAH!
"You wait here bottle-blonde, I'm gonna go at full Yato speed." Kagura ripped some pickled seaweed in her mouth and flew into the sky with a mighty jump.
"WELL AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS!" Lily yelled and wondered what to do next with her time as the multiple scenes coming up were probably without her.
"Oh hey a nail spa!" Lily looked at it eagerly and went across the road but then got smacked with Mitsuki's truck. Thankfully she fell inside the truck.
"Wait a second you dirty, Coconut Head imposter!! DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY SADA-HAR-UUU!" Katsura said as she ran up the sides of the flying police car and soccer punched Sougo in the jaw, causing the car to swirvel. She pushed him aside to the passenger seat and took control of the stirring wheel. Kagura pretended being one of those cops that don't play by the rules and used her pickled seaweed as a cigarette.
"What are you doing you little brat! Don't you know it's unsafe to eat and drive at the same time?" Sougo kept elbowing Kagura in the face but she elbowed back. She kicked him in the little blasters.
"DON'T TOUCH ME I'M STERILE." Sougo said.
"This just all has to be an nightmare! We've destroyed too much already.. the amount of money to come out of my paycheck for
the expenses will give me a stroke itself. I'll be stripped of everything at Ozoom. I had dreams, DREAMS YOU KNOW. DREAMS OF A FOUNDTAIN OF MOUNTAIN DEW IN MY LIBRARY. NOW HOW CAN I DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW IN THE STONEY LONESOME? I CAN'T DUDE!" Kiyoko said.
"DUDE JANAI, KATSURA DA! WE WENT THROUGH THIS!" Katsura protected Brozu from the blast as Brozu lost another sense, his hearing.
"DON'T HIT MY DOG YOU GIRLFRIEND-LESS SADIST!" Kagura kept hitting him in the head with her foot as each time she did he yelled out ow.
"What are we even going on about? Anxiety had taken over me but now give me the reigns, I'm not gonna die in the hands
of Coconut Head." She grabbed Sadaharu by his collar and they stirred back home.
"No wait, my gig's this way!" Brozu said. They went up the building like a fun roller coaster ride as the six flags theme played.. somehow via Brozu's boombox he just had on him for his gig.. give me a break it's 5 am and I'm writing. But Sadaharu lost his grip on the windows and fell backwards.
"SADAHARU!" screamed Kagura.
"Finally! A clean shot of Katsura!" Sougo said and aimed his bubblegum bazooka.
As Katsura was falling mid-air to his death, either by Sougo or the ground below, with a
freaked out old hag and a wanna-be Katsurapper old man, he could only think of one thing.
"ELIZABETH!!!!! YOU BETTER HAVE SAVED ME SOME RAMEN NOODLES! OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"
--
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcDTfH-hMUs
"Otae-chan.." Kondou and "Otae" were sitting in the grass as there was a big full moon in the sky.
*Yes?* Elizabeth signed.
"I just want to say that today.. was the best day of my life. From the boat ride, to the festival to sitting out
here with you, just looking at the stars in heaven above.." The man said getting lost in his thoughts.
*I actually had fun too.* She wrote.
"Would you ever want to do it again..? Kondou said, waiting for a let down though.
*I wish I could, but-.* Elizabeth begun to ponder how bad it would look if Joui members
found out she did like spending time with this guy, this big hairy ape who smelled like sweat usually? But then she remembered the smiling face of her owner, Katsura and how close to him she was. She couldn't betray her best friend. *But, I did have a good time tonight, at least.* She got up and started to leave.
"You didn't just like spending time together because of the food right?" Kondou asked sincerely as he was sniffling over his dream woman leaving.
*Not completely, Gorilla.*
At that, Kondou began to smile a little bit and turned his face back to viewing the moon..
"WAIT OTAE-CHAN! WE CAN STILL HAVE FUN TOGETHER! WITH FOOD TOO!" The man leaped out for Elizabeth but she laser beamed him into dust.
Suddenly, she heard the distant yell of a familiar friend.
and even worse, she saved him no ramen noodles
----
As the battle between Matako, Gin and four eyes went on we reach Guano where he tries to wake up Ozu again-
"OI IS THAT ANY WAY TO CALL ME THAT OR SKIP OUR SCENE?" Shinpachi said at uh- me.
"Oi, Oi, that's right writer. If anything you should be ashamed of yourself for even think of not including us right now. We're the real heart of TBC." Gintoki also said.
"But, I might have written you in... later though because it's 7 am and I didn't even go to bed..." Cha said as the scene panned out to an image of the outside of Lilymu Towers like as they do in the regular Gintama series during specials.
"Now you're gonna rip off our extremely cost effective unique way of starting up specials in the show?! Kagura would be disgusted." Gintoki asked.
"And I am disgusted!" Kagura said eating pickled seaweed.
"OI WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?! You're suppose to be on the rescue team downtown! " Shin yelled.
"I got tired of being a good cop gone bad. And this is an parody of the parody that I needed to be apart of since I'm the main character uh-huh." She explained.
"A parody? A pear ID? Why would a pear need an ID, this is making no sense whatsoever." Gintoki said.
"A parody, it's when an outside source makes a joke about our show in an amusing or sarcastic way." Shinpachi added.
"That sounds awfully crude of them. Wasting their time of day writing behind computer screens on tiny, insignificant message boards." Gin said and shook his head.
"At least it's better than wasting all day reading Jump..." Shin said.
"Can we make a parody about a pear needing an ID?" Kagura asked.
"Yeah yeah, we just need some underaged pear trying to sneak into a bar to finally ask out his big brother's girlfriend. It'll be a classic hit." Gintoki agreed.
"Why are you two hung up over pears." Shin asked.
"Pears are a good strength, they provide the growing boy's body with needed sugar!" Gintoki declared.
"Yeah Shinpachi, look at you you're all Shin and bones, because you lack the sugar your growing boy body still needs." Kagura said.
"OI, WHEN DID THIS BECOME ABOUT ME?" Shin asked.
"But I thought you wanted it to be about you, you even yelled about it." Kagura said.
"No I didn't." Shin replied.
"Yeah you did and I have the evidence." Gin said.
"WAIT NO ACE ACCTORNEY PARODIES! WE CAN ONLY MAKE THIS TBC SO LONG YOU KNOW!" Shin butted in.
"Fine, fine. Let the public out on the real TBC." Gin said. "But I am still showing the evidence that you are wrong on your claim that you didn't want the spotlight.
Quote
"OI IS THAT ANY WAY TO CALL ME THAT OR SKIP OUR SCENE?" Shinpachi said
"I said OUR scene..." Shin blankly stated.
"You shouldn't lie Shinpachi, it causes you to wrinkle prematurely." Kagura said.
"Yeah, yeah the seaweed smelling girl is right Shinpachi." Gin said.
"We're gonna do this for your own good now." Kagura added.
"Do what?" The glasses guy asked.
"What, okay. You honestly think that bothers me? It's just a little button." Shin stated.
"OI, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN GET ME IN TROUBLE FOR ALL I'VE DONE
FOR THIS TEAM?!" Shinpachi said.
"HELLO?" Shin asked.
..
..
"That's your fault."
"Your fault indeed."
"I can't see who said what now! Turn back on the overly repeated 'saids'!" Shin whined.
"WHO SAID I WHINED?!" Shin ::dolphin noise::ed.
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!" Shin ::dolphin noise::ted in his britches like a boy who needs more sugary pears in his diet for his growing, boy body.
"DONDAKE!!!!!!! Now we'll never get to get our fight scene and find out who defeats Matako!"
Suddenly there was a loud gun shot and an eerie kind of sound..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy1lUiuizHk
-
Episode 11: Written by: Aya, Date: May 16, 2016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE_o0a2IqsM
"Got a light buddy?" Hasegawa was laying on his back just outside the Lily Mu towers. He can't quite remember how he got to Tokyo, or even why he is here, but he was here at this moment. He turned his head to the corpse of the plump cameraman laying next to him. Hasegawa sighed and reached into his pocket to fetch his lighter. A few sparks flew as he pressed down on the lighter, eventually getting a flame. He lit his cigarette and took a good puff. He stared up into the stars, as it was now turning to dusk. "Why am I here, and why am I talking to myself? Why was I only a cameo?" The Madao sat up and looked around, the street was a mess after Sadaharu had wrecked it. Pieces of Sakamoto's ship and cargo laid scattered around him. The ship was giving off a roaring noise as it was hovering almost directly above him. Hasegawa reached into his pocket and pulled out his shattered sunglasses. "Stupid police..." he stuffed it back into his pocket and took another puff. He stood up all the way and walked into LilyMu towers. He wandered an hour in a state of delusion to end up here, he smelled the sent of the Yorozuya, as he has lived with them on countless occasions.
"Welcome to LilyMu Towers! How my I be of service to you, sir?" a lady working the front desk greeted him. Madao looked around the lobby, which was trashed. "I'm going to have to ask you to put that out sir, there's a strict no smoking policy in the lobby!" Hasegawa dropped the cigarette and stepped it out.
"I'm looking for a guy with silver, wavy hair, a China girl, and a pair of glasses. Happen to see them?" Hasegawa asked the front desk lady. He took a free dum-dum from the desk.
"Oh, you mean those low life ::dolphin noise::s that wrecked our 5 star building?!" She said while grinding her teeth. "Top floor!" she said with a twitching smile. Madao was slightly disturbed by this, but brushed it off. He pressed the button for the elevator, and it opened immediately.
"Nice, only one on." he said to himself. He walked in and pressed the button labeled "Da Penthouse". The elevator started moving at a good pace, but started to delay. 'Hmm, must be someone else wanting on.' Hasegawa thought to himself. But slowly he realized that the elevator had come to a complete stop and the door wasn't budging. "No! Not like this! I'M NOT ENDING UP BEING THROWN AWAY ON A CLICHE LIKE THIS!"
--------------------------------------
Elizabeth was running at mach speed. She heard the cries of her best friend, her life partner. She spotted them, falling at a rapid pace. She sprinted at full speed and miraculously caught up to the falling group before the smacked the ground.
"What the..." Sougo's attention was grabbed by the giant duck in drag. Elizabeth slapped the bazooka bubblegum and it blew up in Sougo's face.
"ELIZABETH!" Katsura yelled. The 4 were falling for what almost felt like forever.
"Come on you Sadist! Sadaharu is going to destroy your car!" Kagura ripped Sougu out of the car and tossed him a few good feet. Sadaharu landed first, smack dab onto Sougo's car. "SADAHARU! YOU'RE SAFE! Was this mean old hag hurting you?" Kagura gave a quick glance to the now queasy Kiyoko.
"Wow Lil' Sis, you now how to party! WOO!" Brozu cranked up his boombox, only to smashed by Elizabeth as she jumped on top of Sadaharu to catch Katsura. "AW MAN, MY BOOMBOX YO!"
"Elizabeth...did you get me that ramen?" Katsura asked before being tossed to where Sougo was laying. Elizabeth pulled out a blaster of her own and shot both of them.
"Team 1 to Gin-Chan, this is Leader speaking. We've captured the big fluffy fun ball." Kagura said over a walkie-talkie she magically had.
"OI! I'm the Leader, and I'm right in the middle of....wait what is going on again?" Gintok said through the device.
--------------------------------------------
"AHAHAHAHA!" smoke rose from the single bullet fired from the silver glock in Sakamoto's hand. "Alright everyone! This battle is ending now!" Sakamoto had shot the handcuff on his wrist to free him. Makato lowered her guns, while Shinpachi dropped the sword.
"What's the meaning of this Tatsuma?" Gintoki asked, punching Takechi for good measure.
"Since I'm a man of business, I think we should end this whole ordeal in a civic manner. Mutsu, come down here for a second." Mutsu put the ship into auto pilot and hoped into the Penthouse. "Kiheitai: Makato-san and Takechi-san please sit over here." Sakamoto directed them with the gesture of his hand.
"Oh wow, he's completely stopped this fight with the power of his words!" Shinpachi exclaimed.
"Yorozuya: Kintoki-san and Shinpachi-san. Please sit here." he directed them opposite of Makato and Takechi. Gintoki ignored his name being diced, as he was used to it by now.
"AHAHA! This is what I was born for!" Mutsu handed Sakamoto a table and a tea set. He placed them both between the two parties and started to make the tea.
"Kiheita, we are to assume you want to remove the Shinsengumi and take out both Gintoki and Katsura. Yorozuya, you want to make some sick bank from this old bag on this couch." Mutsu said, standing over Sakamoto.
"I say, we have an agreement. You guys can kill someone useless, like Shinpachi-" Sakamoto was saying before Shinpachi erupted.
"OII'll have you know that I am not useless! I am a valuable member of my team, right Gin-san?" Shinpachi looked for Gintoki's approval but Gintoki turned his head and looked behind him. "DONDAKE"
"I'm sorry Pachi-boy, but this dank cash break is what I've needed. Just imagine..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecvUay8ZXJQ
Gintoki looked longingly into his thoughts.
"OI, THAT'S JUST THE MS PAINT VERSION OF YOU! WE'RE NOT GETTING PAID THAT MUCH TO THROW AWAY MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Shinpachi was at his brink. "Please Sakamoto-san, can't there be any other way?"
"Look, let's get this done, I have a feminist convention to attend." Takechi said, adjusting his YesMan suit. Sakamoto looked around anxious.
"Uh...find out the exciting conclusion on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z! AHAHAHA!"
"OI, THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANIME! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THAT EASY-"
----------------------------------- "NO, STOP THAT!" Shinpachi demanded the author to not cut the scene short. Unfortunately for him, I control the story.
"Oi! We're the stars here, not you bub!" Gintoki said, giving Aya a cute little wink. "I DID NOT DO THAT, YOU SAW ME SHINPACHI!"
"AHAHAHA!" Sakamoto laughed again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"STOP MAKING HIM LAUGH FOR YOUR OWN GAIN!" Shinpachi was an angry adjective.|
| |
|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
"OI, YOU ARE MAKING A MOCKERY OF THIS STORY!" Shinpachi broke my fingers and told me to continue. "Sakamoto-san, there seriously has to be another way!" Shinpachi begged.
"Hmm, I guess you're right Shinpachi. Mutsu, what do you recommend?" He asked his vice chief for some advice.
"I say we just help our friends, and rid these bad guys." she said in a calm manner.
"What did she just sa-" before Makato could finish her sentence, Sakamoto flipped the table and scolding tea in the Kiheita's faces. "Go for it Kintoki! AHAHAHA!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why is this JUNK not going fast enough Mistuki?!" Lily tried grabbing the steering-wheel but Mitsuki shoved her into the passenger door.
"I HAVE to focus on the road Lily, don't bother me." she adjusted the side mirror and saw a body trapped under the truck. "OH MY GOSH!" she pulled over to the side of the ride and walked outside of the truck. "I just wanted a normal premier for season 3!" Mitsuki said, freaking out.
"Way to go Mitsuki, now you're going to get booked for vehicular manslaughter." Lily said, leaning against the truck.
"o...oi" a faint whisper was heard.
"Did you say something Lily?" Mitsuki asked.
"Nope." she pushed her hair out of her face. Mitsuki looked at the mangled corpse.
"Oh Jesus, that's the demon vice chief of the Shinsengumi!" she was freaking out even more now. Lily came over and scraped him out of the bottom of the truck.
"He's alive, spazz." Lily said, throwing him into the bed of the truck.
"D...don't forget my mayonnaise..." Hijikata could barely make it out. Lily threw it right in his face, and hoped back into the truck.
"Let's go Mitsuki, we've got a journey ahead of us." she put on some sick ::dolphin noise:: shades.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I...impossible! I killed you years ago in the Joui war..." Takasugi looked in horror before him, Jazz stood there with the blade protruding out of his chest.
"Shinsuke-dono...It's been too long." the fish removed the katana from his back and licked the blood that was stained on it. Yamazaki, Bansai, and Gonard all grabbed popcorn and started munching down.
"Bansai, hand me a sword." Bansai tossed Takasugi a sword, and took a samurai stance. "Let's dance." Takasugi lounged towards Jazz, yelling a battle cry. Jazz smirked and let out a small laugh. He teleported out of the way of the sword.
"No way...He couldn't have perfect it that soon..." Takasugi griped the sword tighter, but was blindsided by a slice to his shoulder. "AHHH!" Takasugi fell to one knee as he grabbed his bleeding shoulder. Jazz threw the sword into the dirt,
"I have no more use for this...pain. The pain you caused me with that sword." Jazz walked up and grabbed Takasugi by his purple robe and brought him face to face. "I should have done this all those years ago. Any last words, Takasugi Shinsuke-dono?"
"You... forgot about my third eye..." he said with a smirk.
"What?" before Jazz could react, he was stabbed in the leg by the sword Takasugi still had. Jazz stepped back and dropped Takasugi.
"Fool, I cannot feel these mere wounds that would surely kill you mortal humans." Jazz said regaining his composure. Takasugi stood back up, wobbly, and held his ground again.
"Come at me, gill face." Takasugi said, taunting him. Jazz started to run at him, but teleported behind him and threw a blow into his kidney. The scene quickly panned over to the three eating popcorn:
"How the hell did I get this outfit? Oh well!"
"Wow! I'm a master at life!"
"That isn't me."
The scene pans back to the action. Takasugi was battered all over. Blood was dripping out of his mouth, and the wound on his should still bled. The air was still on the mountain, Jazz was barely untouched, but the two wounds on him stayed.
"Face it Shinsuke-dono, you cannot win, and I will not allow you to interfere with the Yorozuya. They have a purpose here, and must complete the task. I am the keep of peace, I will stop you." Jazz bent down and grabbed Takasugi's sword again to deal the finishing blow.
"Heh, you must take me for a fool...that silver-haired demon will parish!" Takasugi flipped Bansai's sword around and gripped the blade end.
"What the?!" Jazz was confused but then realized before it was too late, Takasugi smashed the fishbowl the was around Jazz's head. Water came spilling out as Jazz collapsed to the floor. Takasugi fell to a knee and stuck the sword into the ground. His hands were cut, and bleeding profusely. Bansai rushed over and started to bandage Takasugi's shoulder and hands. Yamazaki and Gonard rushed to Jazz.
"Jazz! My favorite fishy man!" Gonard said, getting down to face him.
"Promise me Gonard...protect your friends...save the world...." Jazz started to slip from consciousness. Gonard grabbed his fin and squeezed it.
"I will...I promise..." Yamazaki put his hand on Gonard's shoulder, and Gonard gave him a slight smile.
"It's a good thing we have a back-up chopper, Takasugi-san." Bansai said, using a small beeper to unlock it.
"I'll be back...and kill that demon..." Takasugi said before becoming unconscious. The chopper flew away leaving Yamazaki, Gonard, and Jazz on Mt. Fuji.
"What are we going to do now Gonard?" Yamazaki said, taking off his usher hat.
"We're going to save the ::dolphin noise:: day." Gonard grabbed Takasugi's sword and placed it in his pocket, creating a giant hole in his pants.
Tbc
"Got a light buddy?" Hasegawa was laying on his back just outside the Lily Mu towers. He can't quite remember how he got to Tokyo, or even why he is here, but he was here at this moment. He turned his head to the corpse of the plump cameraman laying next to him. Hasegawa sighed and reached into his pocket to fetch his lighter. A few sparks flew as he pressed down on the lighter, eventually getting a flame. He lit his cigarette and took a good puff. He stared up into the stars, as it was now turning to dusk. "Why am I here, and why am I talking to myself? Why was I only a cameo?" The Madao sat up and looked around, the street was a mess after Sadaharu had wrecked it. Pieces of Sakamoto's ship and cargo laid scattered around him. The ship was giving off a roaring noise as it was hovering almost directly above him. Hasegawa reached into his pocket and pulled out his shattered sunglasses. "Stupid police..." he stuffed it back into his pocket and took another puff. He stood up all the way and walked into LilyMu towers. He wandered an hour in a state of delusion to end up here, he smelled the sent of the Yorozuya, as he has lived with them on countless occasions.
"Welcome to LilyMu Towers! How my I be of service to you, sir?" a lady working the front desk greeted him. Madao looked around the lobby, which was trashed. "I'm going to have to ask you to put that out sir, there's a strict no smoking policy in the lobby!" Hasegawa dropped the cigarette and stepped it out.
"I'm looking for a guy with silver, wavy hair, a China girl, and a pair of glasses. Happen to see them?" Hasegawa asked the front desk lady. He took a free dum-dum from the desk.
"Oh, you mean those low life ::dolphin noise::s that wrecked our 5 star building?!" She said while grinding her teeth. "Top floor!" she said with a twitching smile. Madao was slightly disturbed by this, but brushed it off. He pressed the button for the elevator, and it opened immediately.
"Nice, only one on." he said to himself. He walked in and pressed the button labeled "Da Penthouse". The elevator started moving at a good pace, but started to delay. 'Hmm, must be someone else wanting on.' Hasegawa thought to himself. But slowly he realized that the elevator had come to a complete stop and the door wasn't budging. "No! Not like this! I'M NOT ENDING UP BEING THROWN AWAY ON A CLICHE LIKE THIS!"
--------------------------------------
Elizabeth was running at mach speed. She heard the cries of her best friend, her life partner. She spotted them, falling at a rapid pace. She sprinted at full speed and miraculously caught up to the falling group before the smacked the ground.
"What the..." Sougo's attention was grabbed by the giant duck in drag. Elizabeth slapped the bazooka bubblegum and it blew up in Sougo's face.
"ELIZABETH!" Katsura yelled. The 4 were falling for what almost felt like forever.
"Come on you Sadist! Sadaharu is going to destroy your car!" Kagura ripped Sougu out of the car and tossed him a few good feet. Sadaharu landed first, smack dab onto Sougo's car. "SADAHARU! YOU'RE SAFE! Was this mean old hag hurting you?" Kagura gave a quick glance to the now queasy Kiyoko.
"Wow Lil' Sis, you now how to party! WOO!" Brozu cranked up his boombox, only to smashed by Elizabeth as she jumped on top of Sadaharu to catch Katsura. "AW MAN, MY BOOMBOX YO!"
"Elizabeth...did you get me that ramen?" Katsura asked before being tossed to where Sougo was laying. Elizabeth pulled out a blaster of her own and shot both of them.
"Team 1 to Gin-Chan, this is Leader speaking. We've captured the big fluffy fun ball." Kagura said over a walkie-talkie she magically had.
"OI! I'm the Leader, and I'm right in the middle of....wait what is going on again?" Gintok said through the device.
--------------------------------------------
"AHAHAHAHA!" smoke rose from the single bullet fired from the silver glock in Sakamoto's hand. "Alright everyone! This battle is ending now!" Sakamoto had shot the handcuff on his wrist to free him. Makato lowered her guns, while Shinpachi dropped the sword.
"What's the meaning of this Tatsuma?" Gintoki asked, punching Takechi for good measure.
"Since I'm a man of business, I think we should end this whole ordeal in a civic manner. Mutsu, come down here for a second." Mutsu put the ship into auto pilot and hoped into the Penthouse. "Kiheitai: Makato-san and Takechi-san please sit over here." Sakamoto directed them with the gesture of his hand.
"Oh wow, he's completely stopped this fight with the power of his words!" Shinpachi exclaimed.
"Yorozuya: Kintoki-san and Shinpachi-san. Please sit here." he directed them opposite of Makato and Takechi. Gintoki ignored his name being diced, as he was used to it by now.
"AHAHA! This is what I was born for!" Mutsu handed Sakamoto a table and a tea set. He placed them both between the two parties and started to make the tea.
"Kiheita, we are to assume you want to remove the Shinsengumi and take out both Gintoki and Katsura. Yorozuya, you want to make some sick bank from this old bag on this couch." Mutsu said, standing over Sakamoto.
"I say, we have an agreement. You guys can kill someone useless, like Shinpachi-" Sakamoto was saying before Shinpachi erupted.
"OII'll have you know that I am not useless! I am a valuable member of my team, right Gin-san?" Shinpachi looked for Gintoki's approval but Gintoki turned his head and looked behind him. "DONDAKE"
"I'm sorry Pachi-boy, but this dank cash break is what I've needed. Just imagine..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecvUay8ZXJQ
Gintoki looked longingly into his thoughts.
"OI, THAT'S JUST THE MS PAINT VERSION OF YOU! WE'RE NOT GETTING PAID THAT MUCH TO THROW AWAY MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Shinpachi was at his brink. "Please Sakamoto-san, can't there be any other way?"
"Look, let's get this done, I have a feminist convention to attend." Takechi said, adjusting his YesMan suit. Sakamoto looked around anxious.
"Uh...find out the exciting conclusion on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z! AHAHAHA!"
"OI, THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANIME! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THAT EASY-"
----------------------------------- "NO, STOP THAT!" Shinpachi demanded the author to not cut the scene short. Unfortunately for him, I control the story.
"Oi! We're the stars here, not you bub!" Gintoki said, giving Aya a cute little wink. "I DID NOT DO THAT, YOU SAW ME SHINPACHI!"
"AHAHAHA!" Sakamoto laughed again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"STOP MAKING HIM LAUGH FOR YOUR OWN GAIN!" Shinpachi was an angry adjective.|
| |
|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
"OI, YOU ARE MAKING A MOCKERY OF THIS STORY!" Shinpachi broke my fingers and told me to continue. "Sakamoto-san, there seriously has to be another way!" Shinpachi begged.
"Hmm, I guess you're right Shinpachi. Mutsu, what do you recommend?" He asked his vice chief for some advice.
"I say we just help our friends, and rid these bad guys." she said in a calm manner.
"What did she just sa-" before Makato could finish her sentence, Sakamoto flipped the table and scolding tea in the Kiheita's faces. "Go for it Kintoki! AHAHAHA!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why is this JUNK not going fast enough Mistuki?!" Lily tried grabbing the steering-wheel but Mitsuki shoved her into the passenger door.
"I HAVE to focus on the road Lily, don't bother me." she adjusted the side mirror and saw a body trapped under the truck. "OH MY GOSH!" she pulled over to the side of the ride and walked outside of the truck. "I just wanted a normal premier for season 3!" Mitsuki said, freaking out.
"Way to go Mitsuki, now you're going to get booked for vehicular manslaughter." Lily said, leaning against the truck.
"o...oi" a faint whisper was heard.
"Did you say something Lily?" Mitsuki asked.
"Nope." she pushed her hair out of her face. Mitsuki looked at the mangled corpse.
"Oh Jesus, that's the demon vice chief of the Shinsengumi!" she was freaking out even more now. Lily came over and scraped him out of the bottom of the truck.
"He's alive, spazz." Lily said, throwing him into the bed of the truck.
"D...don't forget my mayonnaise..." Hijikata could barely make it out. Lily threw it right in his face, and hoped back into the truck.
"Let's go Mitsuki, we've got a journey ahead of us." she put on some sick ::dolphin noise:: shades.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I...impossible! I killed you years ago in the Joui war..." Takasugi looked in horror before him, Jazz stood there with the blade protruding out of his chest.
"Shinsuke-dono...It's been too long." the fish removed the katana from his back and licked the blood that was stained on it. Yamazaki, Bansai, and Gonard all grabbed popcorn and started munching down.
"Bansai, hand me a sword." Bansai tossed Takasugi a sword, and took a samurai stance. "Let's dance." Takasugi lounged towards Jazz, yelling a battle cry. Jazz smirked and let out a small laugh. He teleported out of the way of the sword.
"No way...He couldn't have perfect it that soon..." Takasugi griped the sword tighter, but was blindsided by a slice to his shoulder. "AHHH!" Takasugi fell to one knee as he grabbed his bleeding shoulder. Jazz threw the sword into the dirt,
"I have no more use for this...pain. The pain you caused me with that sword." Jazz walked up and grabbed Takasugi by his purple robe and brought him face to face. "I should have done this all those years ago. Any last words, Takasugi Shinsuke-dono?"
"You... forgot about my third eye..." he said with a smirk.
"What?" before Jazz could react, he was stabbed in the leg by the sword Takasugi still had. Jazz stepped back and dropped Takasugi.
"Fool, I cannot feel these mere wounds that would surely kill you mortal humans." Jazz said regaining his composure. Takasugi stood back up, wobbly, and held his ground again.
"Come at me, gill face." Takasugi said, taunting him. Jazz started to run at him, but teleported behind him and threw a blow into his kidney. The scene quickly panned over to the three eating popcorn:
The scene pans back to the action. Takasugi was battered all over. Blood was dripping out of his mouth, and the wound on his should still bled. The air was still on the mountain, Jazz was barely untouched, but the two wounds on him stayed.
"Face it Shinsuke-dono, you cannot win, and I will not allow you to interfere with the Yorozuya. They have a purpose here, and must complete the task. I am the keep of peace, I will stop you." Jazz bent down and grabbed Takasugi's sword again to deal the finishing blow.
"Heh, you must take me for a fool...that silver-haired demon will parish!" Takasugi flipped Bansai's sword around and gripped the blade end.
"What the?!" Jazz was confused but then realized before it was too late, Takasugi smashed the fishbowl the was around Jazz's head. Water came spilling out as Jazz collapsed to the floor. Takasugi fell to a knee and stuck the sword into the ground. His hands were cut, and bleeding profusely. Bansai rushed over and started to bandage Takasugi's shoulder and hands. Yamazaki and Gonard rushed to Jazz.
"Jazz! My favorite fishy man!" Gonard said, getting down to face him.
"Promise me Gonard...protect your friends...save the world...." Jazz started to slip from consciousness. Gonard grabbed his fin and squeezed it.
"I will...I promise..." Yamazaki put his hand on Gonard's shoulder, and Gonard gave him a slight smile.
"It's a good thing we have a back-up chopper, Takasugi-san." Bansai said, using a small beeper to unlock it.
"I'll be back...and kill that demon..." Takasugi said before becoming unconscious. The chopper flew away leaving Yamazaki, Gonard, and Jazz on Mt. Fuji.
"What are we going to do now Gonard?" Yamazaki said, taking off his usher hat.
"We're going to save the ::dolphin noise:: day." Gonard grabbed Takasugi's sword and placed it in his pocket, creating a giant hole in his pants.
Tbc
Episode 12: Written by: Cha, Date: May 17, 2016
What is going on now?! I leave for one second to uh, say good-bye to the late Masked Tanuki and now everyone is fighting even more?!" Guano said as Gintoki was avoiding bullets from Matako as he tried to slice up her face with his wooden sword. There was no use for his suit now that it was damaged from the bullet. So he wouldn't dare use his fighting skills as the Masked Tanuki as regular plain Guano.
"Stand still, ::dolphin noise::!" Matako said out in anger.
"AHAHAHAHA! Guano-san, join us! I couldn't clean up your house so I'm defending it!" The weak fighting Lolita lover was up against Sakamoto who just laughed his way avoiding the blows of the sword.
"We're fighting again?! Sakamoto just made things even more violent!" Shinpachi yelled as him and Guano were just watching the four in battle.
"I can't tell which side is worse! On one hand you have the Odd Jobs who destroyed my house and on the other hand you have some crazy blonde and pedophile who's dressed up as the late Yes Man!" Guano said.
"I'm not a pedophile, I just enjoy a female who hasn't reached her blooming state yet." Takechi responded.
"THAT'S THE SAME THING!" Shin said on cue.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA, I WANNA SEE YA DANCE!" Sakamoto said as he threw dishes at the Takechi's feet and Sakamoto made cowboy yee haws.
"Hey knock that off! Those plates are ours!" Guano said.
"OI OI OI! How many times to I have to explain that the dog and that bird loving ::dolphin noise:: made the hole in the wall! And if you two aren't gonna help us then get your two straight-man character asses somewhere else! Like helping the old man out of here." Gin said as he avoided a bullet that almost went to his head and he let out a yelp.
"Be careful!" Shin and Guano both said worrying for Gintoki's safety.
Shinpachi helped Guano carry Ozu to the cool ::dolphin noise:: bedroom as Guano nervously sweated. The hospitable director rubbed Ozu's forehead with a cold towel.
"I don't know what to do, I should call an ambulance but with everyone out there, it doesn't seem very safe. Ozu will come back from the dead and kill me if he really wanted to." Guano said filled with dread.
"Don't worry Guano-san, we'll take care of your family soon enough." Shinpachi put his hand on Guano's itsy purple shoulder. "Gin-san will protect everyone."
"Oh sure, he was really protecting me when he threw Ozu, you, that mayo police officer and I in the closet!" Guano said getting slightly angry.
"He got me there.." Shinpachi said to himself. "Well Gin-san.. how do I put it.. You ever have an obnoxious friend in your life that you keep anyway for some reason?"
Suddenly a redheaded American came into the room, he closed the door where the sounds of guns going off could still be heard.
"Ayy waddup. I got lost and was in the cool ::dolphin noise:: Jump manga room and kinda fell asleep. Tell Hentai-san at least I found him that Naruto issue he's been wanting." Mikey spoke tiredly as Shinpachi and Guano just look at him. "Hey Guano, what did you do to Ozu? Isn't he usually the one that makes you faint?"
"He passed out from all the commotion, Mikey." Guano said.
"OI, why did you run away while we were all fighting!?" Shinpachi asked.
"I just said because Hentai-san wanted me to get him some icy, fruit milk juice while he was flying his sword around." Mikey leaned against the paper door.
"But you just said earlier that you got lost in one of the rooms..." Shinpachi and Guano said in a monotone.
"Eh, details are for the straight man characters." Mikey said he sat on the bed next to Ozu. "If you two really want to wake him up, you just have to say something his subconscious level would hear." Mikey said as he chugged the strawberry milk for Gintoki.
"HE DID HAVE THE MILK AFTER ALL!" Shinpachi said but Guano put his claw on four-eye's shoulder.
"Just let it go, kid..." Guano said and Shin exhaled his stress.
"I mean, that's kinda like a cheesy movie cliche. But I guess it's worth a shot." Guano shrugged and started to think about what they could tell Ozu.
"That's right, if Ozu-san is kind to anyone, it's probably his hospitable son." Shin spoke but all of a sudden Guano and Mikey busted into laughter. Shin looked alarmed and confused.
"Sure and Lily's the actual star of Lilymu! Like Ozu would be that normal." Guano chuckled with tears coming out of his eyes.
"You know, calling your father by his first name isn't exactly normal either.." Shin said in a monotone.
"Here I'll do the dirty work, boys. Ahem.
...
OZU I SET YOUR PRECIOUS TREE ON FIRE AGAIN!" Mikey yelled out.
"Nice lie, Mikey." Guano applauded.
"What? That wasn't a lie." Mikey held out his hands with the bonsai tree in fact, on fire.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Ozu yelled and blazed up the entire room with his fire.
"Hooray! Ozu is not dead!" Yes Man called out in joy and somehow got into the flaming room.
"You're the one that's suppose to be dead!" Guano, Shinpachi and Mikey called out.
"No that was No Man! He has a steel plate in his chest! Teehee!" Yes Man said.
"YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT EARLIER!" Guano and Shinpachi yelled out as Ozu's flames swallowed all of them.
---
Inside the Shinsengumi police car Elizabeth was driving and Kagura was in the front passenger seat and annoyed with not being able to drive herself. Kiyoko, Brozu and Katsura (in the middle) were in the back with the bulky Sadaharu sleeping on their laps.
"So this Sougo kid, was he attacking you because of a certain reason?" Kiyoko asked Katsura who was next to her.
"Uh.." Katsura looked to Elizabeth in the driver mirror. "You see I'm a bust boy who is trying to be the best ramen chef in the world. But this cop doesn't believe in my skills because he also wants to be the best ramen chef in the world. So he frequently tries to get rid of me."
"Well that didn't really make-" Kiyoko got cut off with Brozu messing with the radio and turning it on a cool ::dolphin noise:: rap station.
"Convincing story or not, I know how it feels." Kiyoko said and adjusted her tie.
"You do?" Katsura asked not quite sure what she meant.
"I'd also like to wipe out my enemy and his precious Lilymu Studios!" Kiyoko said clenching her fists whether she meant literally or not was up for debate.
"I think you're on the wrong side then.." Katsura said.
"Aw yeeah lil' sis on lil' bro action." Brozu said as he banged his head to the beat.
"Don't ever say that again, dude." Kiyoko replied.
"Oi, turn down that rap garbage old man. Don't you know you're a hundred years too old for that." Kagura said having her head out the window and chewing her precious pickled seaweed as usual.
"When you say 'rap garbage' makes ya sound like you're MY old man!" Brozu said.
"Leader, I'm sorry that you're annoyed right now. As much as I wanted you to take control of this car, we can't have more cops coming out after us for seeing a minor behind the wheel." Katsura explained.
"But how can the Big Bird tell us when there's an accident coming up and we need to brace ourselves
for impact? She can't write a sign and save our lives at the same time. I wanna be alive when we get
the big flow of bucks, uh-huh." Kagura said.
"Hey, since my gig is for sure over by now, could you guys drop me off by the bus station?" Brozu asked.
"Hey, why not come over by our house? But it's really messy right now because of this Odd Jobs group Ozu hired screwed everything over." Kiyoko spoke without thinking that adding Brozu to the equation would just make this night worse.
"At your crib? Ehhhhh sure mang, free meals from your Yes Man is a temptin' offer." Brozu said
"Oh crap, why did I say that.." Kiyoko said and put her hands to her face.
"I want a meal right now though.." The Amanto girl said as her broke, malnourished stomach began to growl. "Oi, old hag in a man's suit, do you have any more of those comic books with you?" Kiyoko slid the mangas down her shirt and gave a scared/angry look. (is that a thing)
"I agree, I could go for a big, heart bowl soba. It's one of the best dishes you can taste." Katsura said.
"And ramen isn't?" Kiyoko asked.
"No-" Katsura said but then realized he had been caught in his own web of lies and this woman had tricked him. "NO-as in NO, TURN DOWN THAT AMATEUR RAPPING ::dolphin noise::! "
"Ay baldie, I'll have yo know I'm one of the best hip-hop dancers around dis concrete jungle. So y'all keep bustin' out your katsurap crap 'n let's see who actually bothers to comez 'n listen to it." Brozu said.
"BALDIE JANAI, KATSURA DA!" The Joui official angrily yelled and the two started to tango until Sadaharu glomped on both their heads.
"Oi calm down, you just both need to get your constipation medicine at your guy's ages. Isn't that right, Sadaharu?" Kagura said as blood ran down Katsura's and Brozu's heads.
"Leader, it's just my scalp that makes me look old!"
"Nah mang, it's your THREADS that make you look ancient." Brozu exclaimed.
"This fighting is amateur to the level that Ozu and I take it, you two are insulting me, really." Kiyoko said and chuckled.
"Don't get yourself in an argument you're not even in!" Katsura and Brozu shouted and surprised Kiyoko fell off the seat.
*Don't make me turn this car around* Elizabeth put the sign behind her shoulder and at the back row, as she kept her eyes on the road.
They landed at 7/11 for a quick, pit stop to get more gas in the car. Since no one would really recognize Katsura with his shiny dome exposed, he got out of the vehicle too.
"So let's see. 3 microwavable burritos.. each will do, don't you think?" Kiyoko asked Kagura in a warm tone.
"Throw in a Big Gulp and Payday bar and we have a deal, woman in drag." Kagura said and stopped Katsura and Brozu as they followed them along.
"Ah, ah. Ladies and Sadaharus first and only. We have to powder our noses with their powered donuts."
Kagura said to the two guys. Kagura, Sadaharu, Kiyoko and Elizabeth continued onward inside.
"Elizabeth! I see you scratching your man berries all the time when in private! You should have to suffer
with our man berries too!" Katsura yelled out.
*I don't need your disgusting gender labeling, Baldie.* Elizabeth signed as the four of them went into the 7/11.
--
Meanwhile the half awake Sougo clicked on a button on his uniform, it was a tracking device that would send out a bunch of Shinsengumi out to save him. One of the leading flying cars was Yamazaki with Gonard, Lily, Mitsuki and (dead?) Hijikata.
"Good thing the Vice-Chief was on his road trip with those two girls to Mount Fuji. Otherwise we wouldn't have had a ride back into town to get into a police car." Pilot Yamazaki said to his companion, Gonard in the passenger seat.
"Shouldn't we get your boss to a hospital? Mitsuki asked.
"Gonard? I can't see right now because I'm driving but does the Vice Chief look like he needs to go
to one right now?" Yamazaki asked.
Gonard turned around as Hijikata was lying on the floor with his mouth open and a fly landing inside of it.
"Nope! perfectly looks fine to me!" Gonard cheerfully stated.
"But he doesn't!" Mitsuki was ignored by others as usual.
"He actually looks pretty bad you know!" Lily said but Gonard shrugged off her words.
"Well if Gonard says he's fine, then I believe in him. Yamazaki said as Gonard gave a thumb's up.
"Wait a minute.. That doesn't look like Sougo-san's car.. IT'S TAKASUGI'S CHOPPER!"
Somewhere near the gas station, Banzai was flying the chopper with Takasugi, who feeling a bit better now. They planned to go back to Lilymu Towers and destroy the White Demon once and for all. All of a sudden, an endless load of Shinsengumi flying cars were in the sky behind them.
"Taka who?" Lily asked.
"Takasugi! This guy who kidnapped us along with his Bonsai tree and they threw us Fiji water bottles at us and then the fish man came in to rescue us but got killed as well!" Gonard told Lily ask he shook her shoulders.
"AH, let go of me you smell like a sushi market!" Lily said pushing the crying blue haired man away.
"I smell the scent of a man who died for his honor!" Gonard sobbed.
"Chief! Chief!" Yamazaki said. "It's Takasugi and Bansai! What should we do?
"oi..." The demonic vice chief whispered on the floor.
"Come on Mr. Policeman! Please feel better and help us!" Mitsuki said.
"Mitsuki it's your fault in the first place that he's such in a bad position!" Lily yelled.
Meanwhile on the chopper, Takasugi noticed the Shinsengumi behind him and got out a huge
machine gun on top of it, it was preparing to load.
"OI, WHAT DO WE DO? IS ANYONE THERE?!!" Various Shinsengumi guards on Yamazaki's radio exclaimed as Yamazaki was freaking out himself.
"Yamazki-san..." Hijikata whispered again.
"Y-yes chief?" Yamazaki asked while he was shaking with the radio in his hand and driving the car.
"With Sougo-kun down, Kondou-san missing and myself down as well, you're gonna have to take change of the Shinsengumi." Hijikata coughed up a bit of blood.
"But-but I'm just the plain guy-!" Yamazaki exclaimed and all of a sudden, some of the bullets from the chopper began to hit the sides of the police cars.
"DO IT OR COMMIT SEPPUKU!" Hijikata yelled out and passed out again.
"But!" Yamazaki said as more bullets hit their windshield and they yelled. The bullets were thankfully
blocked do to the bullet proof glass, but one of them had actually broke through it and hit the back seat.
"DO SOME POLICE WORK OR SOMETHING YOU PLAIN SPAZ!" Lily shouted.
Gonard put his hand on Yamazaki's shoulder and Yamazaki looked up.
"Come on, it's like you said earlier. Be a ::dolphin noise:: hero, Hamazaki." Gonard cheered.
It's Yamazaki.." He said and then talked into his radio. "All officers out there! This is Yamazaki the spy filling in for Sougo-san, Hijikata-san and Kondou-san under direct orders from the vice chief himself. Everyone, let's open all fires on that chopper as Takasugi and Bansai are inside it. Over and out."
Yamazaki breathed in and pressed out a fancy weapon button.
"Let's do this." The spy in control said.
--
Class 3-Z, GINPACHI-SENSEI!
"Oi, well that does it for this TBC, before you go remember to clean behind your ears and bum and brush your teeth in a circular motion to prevent gingivitis." The teacher said with his smoking lollipop.
"Wait a minute!" Shinpachi called out from behind his desk.
"Yes uh," Gin looked at his attendance clipboard and read it out loud. "Kagura-chan?"
"OI, that's not my name and you know it!" Shinpachi yelled out.
"Yeah yeah, I wouldn't allow Shinpachi to be me even if he took over my body with his spirit." Kagura said as she was eating a weenie.
"I don't think that's even possible.. HEY WHAT ABOUT MY QUESTION!" Shin yelled.
"We'll get to it, just shut up a bit. Your loud voice is giving me a sugar crash." Gin said as he rubbed his neck.
"What about my glasses Gin!" A student with Sacchan said and then raised her hand.
"Oi, you're not even in this fanfiction so you shouldn't get a speaking role. And what happened to students raising their hands BEFORE they're allowed to talk?" The teacher asked getting slightly annoyed.
"Putting me in your place? YOU'RE SO DOMINATING GIN-SENSEI!!!" Sacchan squealed out as hearts
where around her head.
"My mistake, you both have glasses in your face so it's really hard to tell you two apart." Gin said. "Anyway, what's your question Shinpachi-kun? I don't have all day to make appearances in this fanfiction."
"Don't you think we forgot to add one more story?" Shinpachi said as the screen showed the school's dog Madao inside a cardboard box outside.
"Yes! So the writers will let us do Gintoki Sakata: Ace Attorney after all!" Gin exclaimed.
"No! I told you last time we didn't have the space for that!" Shinpachi said as the school dog just laid there in self pity and emptiness.
"Hey what about me!" Kondou stood up from his desk. "We're gonna let everyone have their stories but I'm stuck as being disintegrated dust by precious Otae-chan?!"
All of a sudden Otae punched him in the face back into his seat.
"Don't you know it's not polite to speak out if the teacher didn't call on you?" She said with a smile on her face.
A hand from the back went up.
"Yes?" Gin asked.
"YES! Hi! We're new transfer students and were wondering what time water aerobics class was tomorrow!" Yes Man said as Ozu and Jazzy looked bored, Brozu held a boombox next to his head, Guano was embarrassed and Kiyoko was reading a comic book with her feet on the desk.
"Oi, there's no water aerobics class at this school nor has there even been a pool here. Aren't like four of you too old to be here anyways?" Gin said.
"Oh uh, I was just curious as my people kinda need new water every few hours or they're die... "Jazz said.
"Hijikata, I wish you were a mysterious Amanto fish so you could die.. quoted George Washington. " Sougo said with his hand on his cheek and looked at his history textbook.
"DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE READING SOMETHING OUT LOUD! YOU SAID MY NAME SPECIFICALLY!" Hijikata yelled.
"Elizabeth and I also want a swimming class to get buff bodies for the summer time." Katsura said and Elizabeth's sign had an image of them with obvious photoshopped, tanned, muscular bodies.
"Oi, I'm suppose to be the only transfer student you old hags. But at least I'm the cutest one of them all." Kagura bit down on another weenie on a cooking fork.
"This one of the worst written things I've ever read... next two these two's writing." Ozu said in the middle of his wife and son's desks.
"You're the one who has been unconscious most of this story!" Kiyoko and Guano said angrily.
"Teacher, I can't see my textbook with both of my eyes in bandages." Takasugi said.
"Teacher, I wanna ditch this class with No Man." Brozu said.
"Teacher, I wanna be moved to a class without my relatives in it." Guano said.
"Teacher, I didn't get a line in this plot!" Yamazaki said.
"Ugh, you're all annoying me! Everyone gets detention for a week. Class dismissed, just for myself!" Gin said and the screen faded to black as everyone yelled out in anger.
--
..
"WAIT WHAT ABOUT MY PLOT!?" Hasegawa cried out in his dog house as the screen went to the blue sky.
"Commit seppuku." Everyone said.
"WHAT?!" 9.png
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sakamoto laughed.
"Stand still, ::dolphin noise::!" Matako said out in anger.
"AHAHAHAHA! Guano-san, join us! I couldn't clean up your house so I'm defending it!" The weak fighting Lolita lover was up against Sakamoto who just laughed his way avoiding the blows of the sword.
"We're fighting again?! Sakamoto just made things even more violent!" Shinpachi yelled as him and Guano were just watching the four in battle.
"I can't tell which side is worse! On one hand you have the Odd Jobs who destroyed my house and on the other hand you have some crazy blonde and pedophile who's dressed up as the late Yes Man!" Guano said.
"I'm not a pedophile, I just enjoy a female who hasn't reached her blooming state yet." Takechi responded.
"THAT'S THE SAME THING!" Shin said on cue.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA, I WANNA SEE YA DANCE!" Sakamoto said as he threw dishes at the Takechi's feet and Sakamoto made cowboy yee haws.
"Hey knock that off! Those plates are ours!" Guano said.
"OI OI OI! How many times to I have to explain that the dog and that bird loving ::dolphin noise:: made the hole in the wall! And if you two aren't gonna help us then get your two straight-man character asses somewhere else! Like helping the old man out of here." Gin said as he avoided a bullet that almost went to his head and he let out a yelp.
"Be careful!" Shin and Guano both said worrying for Gintoki's safety.
Shinpachi helped Guano carry Ozu to the cool ::dolphin noise:: bedroom as Guano nervously sweated. The hospitable director rubbed Ozu's forehead with a cold towel.
"I don't know what to do, I should call an ambulance but with everyone out there, it doesn't seem very safe. Ozu will come back from the dead and kill me if he really wanted to." Guano said filled with dread.
"Don't worry Guano-san, we'll take care of your family soon enough." Shinpachi put his hand on Guano's itsy purple shoulder. "Gin-san will protect everyone."
"Oh sure, he was really protecting me when he threw Ozu, you, that mayo police officer and I in the closet!" Guano said getting slightly angry.
"He got me there.." Shinpachi said to himself. "Well Gin-san.. how do I put it.. You ever have an obnoxious friend in your life that you keep anyway for some reason?"
Suddenly a redheaded American came into the room, he closed the door where the sounds of guns going off could still be heard.
"Ayy waddup. I got lost and was in the cool ::dolphin noise:: Jump manga room and kinda fell asleep. Tell Hentai-san at least I found him that Naruto issue he's been wanting." Mikey spoke tiredly as Shinpachi and Guano just look at him. "Hey Guano, what did you do to Ozu? Isn't he usually the one that makes you faint?"
"He passed out from all the commotion, Mikey." Guano said.
"OI, why did you run away while we were all fighting!?" Shinpachi asked.
"I just said because Hentai-san wanted me to get him some icy, fruit milk juice while he was flying his sword around." Mikey leaned against the paper door.
"But you just said earlier that you got lost in one of the rooms..." Shinpachi and Guano said in a monotone.
"Eh, details are for the straight man characters." Mikey said he sat on the bed next to Ozu. "If you two really want to wake him up, you just have to say something his subconscious level would hear." Mikey said as he chugged the strawberry milk for Gintoki.
"HE DID HAVE THE MILK AFTER ALL!" Shinpachi said but Guano put his claw on four-eye's shoulder.
"Just let it go, kid..." Guano said and Shin exhaled his stress.
"I mean, that's kinda like a cheesy movie cliche. But I guess it's worth a shot." Guano shrugged and started to think about what they could tell Ozu.
"That's right, if Ozu-san is kind to anyone, it's probably his hospitable son." Shin spoke but all of a sudden Guano and Mikey busted into laughter. Shin looked alarmed and confused.
"Sure and Lily's the actual star of Lilymu! Like Ozu would be that normal." Guano chuckled with tears coming out of his eyes.
"You know, calling your father by his first name isn't exactly normal either.." Shin said in a monotone.
"Here I'll do the dirty work, boys. Ahem.
...
OZU I SET YOUR PRECIOUS TREE ON FIRE AGAIN!" Mikey yelled out.
"Nice lie, Mikey." Guano applauded.
"What? That wasn't a lie." Mikey held out his hands with the bonsai tree in fact, on fire.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Ozu yelled and blazed up the entire room with his fire.
"Hooray! Ozu is not dead!" Yes Man called out in joy and somehow got into the flaming room.
"You're the one that's suppose to be dead!" Guano, Shinpachi and Mikey called out.
"No that was No Man! He has a steel plate in his chest! Teehee!" Yes Man said.
"YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT EARLIER!" Guano and Shinpachi yelled out as Ozu's flames swallowed all of them.
---
Inside the Shinsengumi police car Elizabeth was driving and Kagura was in the front passenger seat and annoyed with not being able to drive herself. Kiyoko, Brozu and Katsura (in the middle) were in the back with the bulky Sadaharu sleeping on their laps.
"So this Sougo kid, was he attacking you because of a certain reason?" Kiyoko asked Katsura who was next to her.
"Uh.." Katsura looked to Elizabeth in the driver mirror. "You see I'm a bust boy who is trying to be the best ramen chef in the world. But this cop doesn't believe in my skills because he also wants to be the best ramen chef in the world. So he frequently tries to get rid of me."
"Well that didn't really make-" Kiyoko got cut off with Brozu messing with the radio and turning it on a cool ::dolphin noise:: rap station.
"Convincing story or not, I know how it feels." Kiyoko said and adjusted her tie.
"You do?" Katsura asked not quite sure what she meant.
"I'd also like to wipe out my enemy and his precious Lilymu Studios!" Kiyoko said clenching her fists whether she meant literally or not was up for debate.
"I think you're on the wrong side then.." Katsura said.
"Aw yeeah lil' sis on lil' bro action." Brozu said as he banged his head to the beat.
"Don't ever say that again, dude." Kiyoko replied.
"Oi, turn down that rap garbage old man. Don't you know you're a hundred years too old for that." Kagura said having her head out the window and chewing her precious pickled seaweed as usual.
"When you say 'rap garbage' makes ya sound like you're MY old man!" Brozu said.
"Leader, I'm sorry that you're annoyed right now. As much as I wanted you to take control of this car, we can't have more cops coming out after us for seeing a minor behind the wheel." Katsura explained.
"But how can the Big Bird tell us when there's an accident coming up and we need to brace ourselves
for impact? She can't write a sign and save our lives at the same time. I wanna be alive when we get
the big flow of bucks, uh-huh." Kagura said.
"Hey, since my gig is for sure over by now, could you guys drop me off by the bus station?" Brozu asked.
"Hey, why not come over by our house? But it's really messy right now because of this Odd Jobs group Ozu hired screwed everything over." Kiyoko spoke without thinking that adding Brozu to the equation would just make this night worse.
"At your crib? Ehhhhh sure mang, free meals from your Yes Man is a temptin' offer." Brozu said
"Oh crap, why did I say that.." Kiyoko said and put her hands to her face.
"I want a meal right now though.." The Amanto girl said as her broke, malnourished stomach began to growl. "Oi, old hag in a man's suit, do you have any more of those comic books with you?" Kiyoko slid the mangas down her shirt and gave a scared/angry look. (is that a thing)
"I agree, I could go for a big, heart bowl soba. It's one of the best dishes you can taste." Katsura said.
"And ramen isn't?" Kiyoko asked.
"No-" Katsura said but then realized he had been caught in his own web of lies and this woman had tricked him. "NO-as in NO, TURN DOWN THAT AMATEUR RAPPING ::dolphin noise::! "
"Ay baldie, I'll have yo know I'm one of the best hip-hop dancers around dis concrete jungle. So y'all keep bustin' out your katsurap crap 'n let's see who actually bothers to comez 'n listen to it." Brozu said.
"BALDIE JANAI, KATSURA DA!" The Joui official angrily yelled and the two started to tango until Sadaharu glomped on both their heads.
"Oi calm down, you just both need to get your constipation medicine at your guy's ages. Isn't that right, Sadaharu?" Kagura said as blood ran down Katsura's and Brozu's heads.
"Leader, it's just my scalp that makes me look old!"
"Nah mang, it's your THREADS that make you look ancient." Brozu exclaimed.
"This fighting is amateur to the level that Ozu and I take it, you two are insulting me, really." Kiyoko said and chuckled.
"Don't get yourself in an argument you're not even in!" Katsura and Brozu shouted and surprised Kiyoko fell off the seat.
*Don't make me turn this car around* Elizabeth put the sign behind her shoulder and at the back row, as she kept her eyes on the road.
They landed at 7/11 for a quick, pit stop to get more gas in the car. Since no one would really recognize Katsura with his shiny dome exposed, he got out of the vehicle too.
"So let's see. 3 microwavable burritos.. each will do, don't you think?" Kiyoko asked Kagura in a warm tone.
"Throw in a Big Gulp and Payday bar and we have a deal, woman in drag." Kagura said and stopped Katsura and Brozu as they followed them along.
"Ah, ah. Ladies and Sadaharus first and only. We have to powder our noses with their powered donuts."
Kagura said to the two guys. Kagura, Sadaharu, Kiyoko and Elizabeth continued onward inside.
"Elizabeth! I see you scratching your man berries all the time when in private! You should have to suffer
with our man berries too!" Katsura yelled out.
*I don't need your disgusting gender labeling, Baldie.* Elizabeth signed as the four of them went into the 7/11.
--
Meanwhile the half awake Sougo clicked on a button on his uniform, it was a tracking device that would send out a bunch of Shinsengumi out to save him. One of the leading flying cars was Yamazaki with Gonard, Lily, Mitsuki and (dead?) Hijikata.
"Good thing the Vice-Chief was on his road trip with those two girls to Mount Fuji. Otherwise we wouldn't have had a ride back into town to get into a police car." Pilot Yamazaki said to his companion, Gonard in the passenger seat.
"Shouldn't we get your boss to a hospital? Mitsuki asked.
"Gonard? I can't see right now because I'm driving but does the Vice Chief look like he needs to go
to one right now?" Yamazaki asked.
Gonard turned around as Hijikata was lying on the floor with his mouth open and a fly landing inside of it.
"Nope! perfectly looks fine to me!" Gonard cheerfully stated.
"But he doesn't!" Mitsuki was ignored by others as usual.
"He actually looks pretty bad you know!" Lily said but Gonard shrugged off her words.
"Well if Gonard says he's fine, then I believe in him. Yamazaki said as Gonard gave a thumb's up.
"Wait a minute.. That doesn't look like Sougo-san's car.. IT'S TAKASUGI'S CHOPPER!"
Somewhere near the gas station, Banzai was flying the chopper with Takasugi, who feeling a bit better now. They planned to go back to Lilymu Towers and destroy the White Demon once and for all. All of a sudden, an endless load of Shinsengumi flying cars were in the sky behind them.
"Taka who?" Lily asked.
"Takasugi! This guy who kidnapped us along with his Bonsai tree and they threw us Fiji water bottles at us and then the fish man came in to rescue us but got killed as well!" Gonard told Lily ask he shook her shoulders.
"AH, let go of me you smell like a sushi market!" Lily said pushing the crying blue haired man away.
"I smell the scent of a man who died for his honor!" Gonard sobbed.
"Chief! Chief!" Yamazaki said. "It's Takasugi and Bansai! What should we do?
"oi..." The demonic vice chief whispered on the floor.
"Come on Mr. Policeman! Please feel better and help us!" Mitsuki said.
"Mitsuki it's your fault in the first place that he's such in a bad position!" Lily yelled.
Meanwhile on the chopper, Takasugi noticed the Shinsengumi behind him and got out a huge
machine gun on top of it, it was preparing to load.
"OI, WHAT DO WE DO? IS ANYONE THERE?!!" Various Shinsengumi guards on Yamazaki's radio exclaimed as Yamazaki was freaking out himself.
"Yamazki-san..." Hijikata whispered again.
"Y-yes chief?" Yamazaki asked while he was shaking with the radio in his hand and driving the car.
"With Sougo-kun down, Kondou-san missing and myself down as well, you're gonna have to take change of the Shinsengumi." Hijikata coughed up a bit of blood.
"But-but I'm just the plain guy-!" Yamazaki exclaimed and all of a sudden, some of the bullets from the chopper began to hit the sides of the police cars.
"DO IT OR COMMIT SEPPUKU!" Hijikata yelled out and passed out again.
"But!" Yamazaki said as more bullets hit their windshield and they yelled. The bullets were thankfully
blocked do to the bullet proof glass, but one of them had actually broke through it and hit the back seat.
"DO SOME POLICE WORK OR SOMETHING YOU PLAIN SPAZ!" Lily shouted.
Gonard put his hand on Yamazaki's shoulder and Yamazaki looked up.
"Come on, it's like you said earlier. Be a ::dolphin noise:: hero, Hamazaki." Gonard cheered.
It's Yamazaki.." He said and then talked into his radio. "All officers out there! This is Yamazaki the spy filling in for Sougo-san, Hijikata-san and Kondou-san under direct orders from the vice chief himself. Everyone, let's open all fires on that chopper as Takasugi and Bansai are inside it. Over and out."
Yamazaki breathed in and pressed out a fancy weapon button.
"Let's do this." The spy in control said.
--
Class 3-Z, GINPACHI-SENSEI!
"Oi, well that does it for this TBC, before you go remember to clean behind your ears and bum and brush your teeth in a circular motion to prevent gingivitis." The teacher said with his smoking lollipop.
"Wait a minute!" Shinpachi called out from behind his desk.
"Yes uh," Gin looked at his attendance clipboard and read it out loud. "Kagura-chan?"
"OI, that's not my name and you know it!" Shinpachi yelled out.
"Yeah yeah, I wouldn't allow Shinpachi to be me even if he took over my body with his spirit." Kagura said as she was eating a weenie.
"I don't think that's even possible.. HEY WHAT ABOUT MY QUESTION!" Shin yelled.
"We'll get to it, just shut up a bit. Your loud voice is giving me a sugar crash." Gin said as he rubbed his neck.
"What about my glasses Gin!" A student with Sacchan said and then raised her hand.
"Oi, you're not even in this fanfiction so you shouldn't get a speaking role. And what happened to students raising their hands BEFORE they're allowed to talk?" The teacher asked getting slightly annoyed.
"Putting me in your place? YOU'RE SO DOMINATING GIN-SENSEI!!!" Sacchan squealed out as hearts
where around her head.
"My mistake, you both have glasses in your face so it's really hard to tell you two apart." Gin said. "Anyway, what's your question Shinpachi-kun? I don't have all day to make appearances in this fanfiction."
"Don't you think we forgot to add one more story?" Shinpachi said as the screen showed the school's dog Madao inside a cardboard box outside.
"Yes! So the writers will let us do Gintoki Sakata: Ace Attorney after all!" Gin exclaimed.
"No! I told you last time we didn't have the space for that!" Shinpachi said as the school dog just laid there in self pity and emptiness.
"Hey what about me!" Kondou stood up from his desk. "We're gonna let everyone have their stories but I'm stuck as being disintegrated dust by precious Otae-chan?!"
All of a sudden Otae punched him in the face back into his seat.
"Don't you know it's not polite to speak out if the teacher didn't call on you?" She said with a smile on her face.
A hand from the back went up.
"Yes?" Gin asked.
"YES! Hi! We're new transfer students and were wondering what time water aerobics class was tomorrow!" Yes Man said as Ozu and Jazzy looked bored, Brozu held a boombox next to his head, Guano was embarrassed and Kiyoko was reading a comic book with her feet on the desk.
"Oi, there's no water aerobics class at this school nor has there even been a pool here. Aren't like four of you too old to be here anyways?" Gin said.
"Oh uh, I was just curious as my people kinda need new water every few hours or they're die... "Jazz said.
"Hijikata, I wish you were a mysterious Amanto fish so you could die.. quoted George Washington. " Sougo said with his hand on his cheek and looked at his history textbook.
"DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE READING SOMETHING OUT LOUD! YOU SAID MY NAME SPECIFICALLY!" Hijikata yelled.
"Elizabeth and I also want a swimming class to get buff bodies for the summer time." Katsura said and Elizabeth's sign had an image of them with obvious photoshopped, tanned, muscular bodies.
"Oi, I'm suppose to be the only transfer student you old hags. But at least I'm the cutest one of them all." Kagura bit down on another weenie on a cooking fork.
"This one of the worst written things I've ever read... next two these two's writing." Ozu said in the middle of his wife and son's desks.
"You're the one who has been unconscious most of this story!" Kiyoko and Guano said angrily.
"Teacher, I can't see my textbook with both of my eyes in bandages." Takasugi said.
"Teacher, I wanna ditch this class with No Man." Brozu said.
"Teacher, I wanna be moved to a class without my relatives in it." Guano said.
"Teacher, I didn't get a line in this plot!" Yamazaki said.
"Ugh, you're all annoying me! Everyone gets detention for a week. Class dismissed, just for myself!" Gin said and the screen faded to black as everyone yelled out in anger.
--
..
"WAIT WHAT ABOUT MY PLOT!?" Hasegawa cried out in his dog house as the screen went to the blue sky.
"Commit seppuku." Everyone said.
"WHAT?!" 9.png
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sakamoto laughed.
Episode 13: Written by: Aya, Date, June 2nd, 2016
The four fighting in the living room stopped fighting and noticed the bedroom had smoke emanating from it.
"Oi, what's with the smoke? Tatsuma, get that fire extinguisher and put out the blaze." Gintoki instructed his friend.
"AHAHA! You got it Kintoki!" Sakamoto grabbed a conveniently placed fire extinguisher and rushed into to put it out. Seconds later, he was launched back into the living room unconscious.
"MIKEY SIMON!!!!" a thunderous voice boomed through out the penthouse. The redheaded actor came flying into the living, getting driven into the wall where half of his body got stuck into it.
"What the hell was that?!" Makato dropped her pistols in shock.
"We've got to tell Takasugi-san, this might be out of our league..." Takechi grabbed Makato and headed for the front door. "I'm not dying today, Lolicon is tomorrow." he slammed the door behind them and left Gin-chan and Mutsu to their lonesome.
"My money! I mean...Ozu had awaken! Hurry up and cover these bullet holes, dog holes, and sword slashes before I don't get my dough!" Gintoki said frantic.
"It's too late Gin-san..." Shinpachi came staggering down the hallway, blood running down his face.
"SHINPACHI!" Gintoki ran over to his friend and caught him as he was falling. "Shinpachi..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz8a53VSoN0 Shinpachi coughed up some blood. Gin noticed the burn marks around Shinpachi's body.
"Guano-san...Mikey-san...I'm sorry..." Shinpachi was losing his voice. Mikey hadn't moved since the impact with the wall. Guano was nowhere to be found.
"Don't worry Shinpachi...I'll get you out of this." Gin had his serious face on, he knew this wasn't fun and games anymore. He slung the incapacitated Shinpachi over his shoulder and turned to Mutsu. "Mutsu, grab Tatsuma, Shinpachi, and Mikey and get out of here. I have to face this problem head on." Gintoki handed Shinpachi over to Mutsu and she grabbed both Mikey and Sakamoto with one hand. She hoped onto their ship and turned back to Gintoki.
"Please, for our sake...do not die Gintoki." Mutsu said, turning back and starting up the ship.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99NjO-m2z10
Ozu came storming into the living room, the fire spreading through out the penthouse. Yes-Man was there at his side as usual, and Guano's head part of the costume was ripped of and in Yes-Man's hands.
"He made me do it!" Yes-Man said, giving a little cry.
"Ozu...why are you doing this... I only was doing my job to get money..." Gintoki placed one hand on his sword.
"You don't get the money. You broke the rules." Ozu said, grabbing his katana.
"Broke the rules? None of this was my fa-" Ozu interrupted the samurai.'
"Wrong sir, wrong! Under Sections 37B of the contract the Yorozuya signed, it states quite clearly that all payday shall become null and void if, and you can see for yourself in this photostatic copy-" Ozu reached into his pocket and pulled out a DVD marked "Security Footage".
'He had security cameras?!' Gintoki screamed in his head.
"I the undersigned shall forfeit all payday, rights, licenses herein and herein contained, et cetra, et cetra... fax mentis incendium gloria culpum, et cetra, et cetra... MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM!" He pulled up the video: " Guano was actually enjoying this attention. Gintoki was fed up with him and decided to throw him like a football across the room. "He's got great aerodynamics!" Gintoki remarked. "YOU JUST THREW A HUMAN BEING!" Shinpachi was losing it."
"IT'S ALL THERE BLACK AND WHITE, CLEAR AS CRYSTAL. YOU THREW MY SON. HE BUMPED INTO THE WALL WHICH NOW HAS TO BE WASHED AND STERILIZED; SO YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!" Ozu lounged at Gintoki with his sword, but Gintoki parried the attack and jumped back.
"How the hell did you get that?! Oh well, let's dance!" Gintoki yelled and swung with the force of a thousand dragons.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's actually kind of quiet in here. Good thing the last person on here left this magazine." Hasegawa couldn't help to notice that the magazine was named NERV. "Hmm, wonder what that means?" he brushed it off. The elevator had been stuck for a good hour now, and he didn't expect to see that nice front desk lady to come and help him. He took a puff from his cigarette, knowing full and well that the toxic smoke might just kill him faster in this tight space. "Knowing my luck, I won't die." it seemed he was talking to me, but I brushed it off. "I can't help to feel this whole scene is just one big reference to something." the Madao said to himself, checking out the specs of a large human-like machine in the magazine. "Must be a nerd magazine." he commented to himself. "Just look how poorly this author Photoshopped this elevator, she could of just got a stock image of one, but no." Madao was starting to get on my nerves.
---------------------------------"WAIT! I didn't mean it man..." Hasegawa was pleading to continue his story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_pvvBCsV_U
------------------------------------"No! I'm not getting written off on a meme for a cheap laugh!" Hasegawa threw down the NERV magazine in frustration. "You're referencing three animes in one here dude." the Madao was visibly upset. Just then, a part of the top of the elevator moved and a figure hopped down next to Madao. "Who the hell are you?!"
"Just a gorilla who isn't willing to die yet."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guns began to blaze as bazooka missiles hit the choppa.
"Yes! Direct hit guys!" Yamazaki yelled into the radio. Pieces of the helicopter were falling dangerously close to the car.
"AHHHHH!" Brozu and Katsura both screamed in high pitch voices as they huddled into the men's bathroom. The helicopter crashed right into the 7/11, where an Indian man with the nametag "Raj" was standing at the front counter.
"Hello, this is supercodplayer1995, and I am your clerk today. I'm sitting here eating my pizza dinner... WHAT! YOU WRECKED MY BUILDING YOU PIECE OF CRAP! YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY MANAGER!" he jolted out of the stool he was sitting on and walked over to the helicopter.
"Get away from there sir! They are wanted criminals!" Yamazaki yelled, bursting into the store. Katsura and Elizabeth noticed the large presence of Shinsengumi and both went into the women's restroom.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"GET OUT OF HERE!" Kiyoko yelled at Katsura as he ran into the restroom.
"You don't understand....I'm actually uh...trans!" He threw on his wig and kimono and dawned his female personality.
"No, you're just a terrorist." Kagura said, munching a some seaweed.
"Terroist janai, Zurako da. Why not allow me, when you let Sadaharu-dono in here, and Elizabeth!" Zurako was upset at this and humphed.
"We are going to get arrested if we don't bounce" Elizabeth was wearing her makeup as well, worrying for capture. Kiyoko was at a loss for words from all this Gintama madness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Get back!" Bansai leaped out of the chopper and held a gun to Supercod's head.
"Look man! I run a let's play channel on youtube, I have millions of adoring fans! Kill somebody else, like Pewdiepie!" Taj begged his kidnapper. Takasugi managed to pull himself from the rubble and hold himself up with the use of his sword.
"So, Yamazaki...you're the last remaining higher up in the Shinsengumi other than Matsudaria...heh, the easiest." Takasugi chuckled and nodded to Bansai. Yamazaki's radio buzzed in,
"We can't get a clear shot at them Yamazaki!" a Shinsengumi member said on the other end.
"::dolphin noise::..." Yamazaki had to think of something, then it hit him. "Gonard, distract those two!" Yamazaki demanded.
"You got it Hama! HEY YOU...uh...PUNKS!" Gonard was flailing about and managed to distract both Bansai and Takasugi.
"What is that man doing?" Takasugi asked, even though he could not see. Just then, a swift movement is heard behind both men.
"ANPAN SPARKING!" Yamazaki had the brilliant realization that they were in a convenient store. He grabbed to anpans and smashed them in their faces. "You two are under arrest!" he slapped handcuffs on Takasugi and Bansai.
TBC
"AHAHA! You got it Kintoki!" Sakamoto grabbed a conveniently placed fire extinguisher and rushed into to put it out. Seconds later, he was launched back into the living room unconscious.
"MIKEY SIMON!!!!" a thunderous voice boomed through out the penthouse. The redheaded actor came flying into the living, getting driven into the wall where half of his body got stuck into it.
"What the hell was that?!" Makato dropped her pistols in shock.
"We've got to tell Takasugi-san, this might be out of our league..." Takechi grabbed Makato and headed for the front door. "I'm not dying today, Lolicon is tomorrow." he slammed the door behind them and left Gin-chan and Mutsu to their lonesome.
"My money! I mean...Ozu had awaken! Hurry up and cover these bullet holes, dog holes, and sword slashes before I don't get my dough!" Gintoki said frantic.
"It's too late Gin-san..." Shinpachi came staggering down the hallway, blood running down his face.
"SHINPACHI!" Gintoki ran over to his friend and caught him as he was falling. "Shinpachi..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz8a53VSoN0 Shinpachi coughed up some blood. Gin noticed the burn marks around Shinpachi's body.
"Guano-san...Mikey-san...I'm sorry..." Shinpachi was losing his voice. Mikey hadn't moved since the impact with the wall. Guano was nowhere to be found.
"Don't worry Shinpachi...I'll get you out of this." Gin had his serious face on, he knew this wasn't fun and games anymore. He slung the incapacitated Shinpachi over his shoulder and turned to Mutsu. "Mutsu, grab Tatsuma, Shinpachi, and Mikey and get out of here. I have to face this problem head on." Gintoki handed Shinpachi over to Mutsu and she grabbed both Mikey and Sakamoto with one hand. She hoped onto their ship and turned back to Gintoki.
"Please, for our sake...do not die Gintoki." Mutsu said, turning back and starting up the ship.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99NjO-m2z10
Ozu came storming into the living room, the fire spreading through out the penthouse. Yes-Man was there at his side as usual, and Guano's head part of the costume was ripped of and in Yes-Man's hands.
"He made me do it!" Yes-Man said, giving a little cry.
"Ozu...why are you doing this... I only was doing my job to get money..." Gintoki placed one hand on his sword.
"You don't get the money. You broke the rules." Ozu said, grabbing his katana.
"Broke the rules? None of this was my fa-" Ozu interrupted the samurai.'
"Wrong sir, wrong! Under Sections 37B of the contract the Yorozuya signed, it states quite clearly that all payday shall become null and void if, and you can see for yourself in this photostatic copy-" Ozu reached into his pocket and pulled out a DVD marked "Security Footage".
'He had security cameras?!' Gintoki screamed in his head.
"I the undersigned shall forfeit all payday, rights, licenses herein and herein contained, et cetra, et cetra... fax mentis incendium gloria culpum, et cetra, et cetra... MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM!" He pulled up the video: " Guano was actually enjoying this attention. Gintoki was fed up with him and decided to throw him like a football across the room. "He's got great aerodynamics!" Gintoki remarked. "YOU JUST THREW A HUMAN BEING!" Shinpachi was losing it."
"IT'S ALL THERE BLACK AND WHITE, CLEAR AS CRYSTAL. YOU THREW MY SON. HE BUMPED INTO THE WALL WHICH NOW HAS TO BE WASHED AND STERILIZED; SO YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!" Ozu lounged at Gintoki with his sword, but Gintoki parried the attack and jumped back.
"How the hell did you get that?! Oh well, let's dance!" Gintoki yelled and swung with the force of a thousand dragons.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's actually kind of quiet in here. Good thing the last person on here left this magazine." Hasegawa couldn't help to notice that the magazine was named NERV. "Hmm, wonder what that means?" he brushed it off. The elevator had been stuck for a good hour now, and he didn't expect to see that nice front desk lady to come and help him. He took a puff from his cigarette, knowing full and well that the toxic smoke might just kill him faster in this tight space. "Knowing my luck, I won't die." it seemed he was talking to me, but I brushed it off. "I can't help to feel this whole scene is just one big reference to something." the Madao said to himself, checking out the specs of a large human-like machine in the magazine. "Must be a nerd magazine." he commented to himself. "Just look how poorly this author Photoshopped this elevator, she could of just got a stock image of one, but no." Madao was starting to get on my nerves.
---------------------------------"WAIT! I didn't mean it man..." Hasegawa was pleading to continue his story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_pvvBCsV_U
------------------------------------"No! I'm not getting written off on a meme for a cheap laugh!" Hasegawa threw down the NERV magazine in frustration. "You're referencing three animes in one here dude." the Madao was visibly upset. Just then, a part of the top of the elevator moved and a figure hopped down next to Madao. "Who the hell are you?!"
"Just a gorilla who isn't willing to die yet."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guns began to blaze as bazooka missiles hit the choppa.
"Yes! Direct hit guys!" Yamazaki yelled into the radio. Pieces of the helicopter were falling dangerously close to the car.
"AHHHHH!" Brozu and Katsura both screamed in high pitch voices as they huddled into the men's bathroom. The helicopter crashed right into the 7/11, where an Indian man with the nametag "Raj" was standing at the front counter.
"Hello, this is supercodplayer1995, and I am your clerk today. I'm sitting here eating my pizza dinner... WHAT! YOU WRECKED MY BUILDING YOU PIECE OF CRAP! YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY MANAGER!" he jolted out of the stool he was sitting on and walked over to the helicopter.
"Get away from there sir! They are wanted criminals!" Yamazaki yelled, bursting into the store. Katsura and Elizabeth noticed the large presence of Shinsengumi and both went into the women's restroom.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"GET OUT OF HERE!" Kiyoko yelled at Katsura as he ran into the restroom.
"You don't understand....I'm actually uh...trans!" He threw on his wig and kimono and dawned his female personality.
"No, you're just a terrorist." Kagura said, munching a some seaweed.
"Terroist janai, Zurako da. Why not allow me, when you let Sadaharu-dono in here, and Elizabeth!" Zurako was upset at this and humphed.
"We are going to get arrested if we don't bounce" Elizabeth was wearing her makeup as well, worrying for capture. Kiyoko was at a loss for words from all this Gintama madness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Get back!" Bansai leaped out of the chopper and held a gun to Supercod's head.
"Look man! I run a let's play channel on youtube, I have millions of adoring fans! Kill somebody else, like Pewdiepie!" Taj begged his kidnapper. Takasugi managed to pull himself from the rubble and hold himself up with the use of his sword.
"So, Yamazaki...you're the last remaining higher up in the Shinsengumi other than Matsudaria...heh, the easiest." Takasugi chuckled and nodded to Bansai. Yamazaki's radio buzzed in,
"We can't get a clear shot at them Yamazaki!" a Shinsengumi member said on the other end.
"::dolphin noise::..." Yamazaki had to think of something, then it hit him. "Gonard, distract those two!" Yamazaki demanded.
"You got it Hama! HEY YOU...uh...PUNKS!" Gonard was flailing about and managed to distract both Bansai and Takasugi.
"What is that man doing?" Takasugi asked, even though he could not see. Just then, a swift movement is heard behind both men.
"ANPAN SPARKING!" Yamazaki had the brilliant realization that they were in a convenient store. He grabbed to anpans and smashed them in their faces. "You two are under arrest!" he slapped handcuffs on Takasugi and Bansai.
TBC
Episode 14 (The Final Canonical Episode): Written by: Cha, Date: June 2nd, 2016
Takasugi and Bansai were sitting on the floor in cuffs as various Shinsengumi guards held them down. The anpan was in Takasugi's ears and in Bansai's eyes.
"Bansai..you know the procedure for what we should do next." Somehow Takasugi was still smirking, definitely not given up.
...
Bansai was rocking out on some sick beats when Takasugi headbutted his shoulder.
"Huh? I'm listening to Otuu-san Blues to get me in a better mood." Bansai said.
"Huh?" Takasugi asked as he couldn't hear as well. The anpan had made them both deaf and blind.
"OOH, I like to thank you Jim Man for saving a face as valuable as mine." Supercod pleaded as he kissed the shoes of Yamazaki.
"Oh, it was no biggie." Yamazaki blushed and rubbed his hand on the back of his hair. "Okay men, let's assemble out of here before something else happens."
"NO WAIT! YOU FIREFIGHTERZ BROKE MY STORE AND MY MANAGER WILL BE FURIOUS AT DIS!" Raj stormed up at the police officers, they started to slowly walk away.
"WHAT. DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME MOP HEAD! I HAVE STUDENT LOANS TO PAY! DIS INDIE GAME PLAYING DOES NOT PAY FOR ITSELF! I come to Tokyo to make enough living to rent a place out and take my illegal revenge on BILLYBUM for kicking me out
of CAPTAIN CHRIS'S SHOW?!" Raj was steaming a lot now as Yamazaki looked on with fear.
"So like I said, uh.. we'll be leaving and we'll call someone from the city to uh, fix your store soon.." Yamazaki slowly backed away as two officers behind Raj cuffed him.
"I! WILL! KILL!! YOU!!!" Raj barked out and suddenly one of the Shinsengumi's gave him a mirror to look at his beautiful self in and Raj started to simmer down.
"Oi the crazed Indian man is right. I wouldn't be so careful coming out of anywhere with the two biggest criminals around here." A green haired man opened both of the doors of the 7/11 and limped in as everyone else was in shock. Behind him was Gonard, Lily and Mitsuki.
"Oi it's Hijikata! Is he alright?!" said by various Shinsengumi officers.
"V-vice chief!" Yamazaki ran up to the injured man.
"It's not going to be safe outside anywhere around this area." Hijikata said.
"What do you mean, Hijikata-san?" Yamazaki and the other officers wondered.
"A bad guy can't be taken out that easily!" Gonard said. "I should know, I play one on TV. They have to battle the main character before they're truly defeated."
"This isn't TV, spaz." Lily told him.
"How do you know! The Lilymu manga tells me that 4th wall breaking is a key guide to providing the comedy for my supervillian role!" Gonard exclaimed.
"That's not even FROM Lilymu! It's a Ozoom Manga comic book!" Lily yelled while Mitsuki just sighed at how old this was getting, even to her.
"Hey! Maybe I've had dreams of living inside a comic book and switching from Lilymu to the dark side, okay?!" Gonard tried to put his head in the book but alas, he could not enter inside the paper world. He threw the comic book in dismay and it landed on Raj's mirror and flung Raj back
with his face in bloody mirror glass bits.
"What are you saying Mr. Police Officer?" Mitsuki asked
"Oi, the blue haired doofus is right.. According to the current news there's ships going all around Tokyo right now in search of the big shot here. They haven't done any sort of damage yet, but they're causing a lot of buzz around this city right now." Hijikata gestured to Takasugi who was just smiling back and he chuckled.
"It's funny, even when I can't hear or see I can tell I'm being talked to by a demon vice chief. Looks like the gig's up." Takasugi grinned.
Suddenly he leaped up along with Bansai and broke the bind of Shinsengumi guards that held them. Hijikata drew up his blade as the two criminals ran up to him. With one of Hijikata's blows, the cuffs broke off of them and Takasugi took up a sword.The two fought for a while as everyone else watched in horror. In this buzz, Bansai fought off the various other guards as the Lilymu stars looked on at this, surprised at everyone's skils. Suddenly, the sneaky spy Yamazaki came up behind Bansai and bent his arms back.
"I'm not letting you guys get away this easily! Especially the coolest moment of my life when I became the Shinsengumi's fearless leader for a brief moment!" Yamazaki declared but Bansai had the better strength and threw Yamazaki over his head and by Raj.
"I-I'm sorry Vice Chief..." Yamzaki blacked out.
Bansai now free, checked out a tracker he held onto. But Gonard, Mitsuki and Lily charged at the man with a battle cry and tackled him to the floor.
"Don't mess with Agent M and her friends! Or I will end you!" Mitsuki said in a very serious tone and deeper voice. She wrapped her legs around Bansai's neck and it looked like his head could pop off like a pimple, even with his strength.
"Agent who?" Lily and Gonard asked in confusion.
"Uh, it's a quote I heard off of a Netflix original movie..?" She sweat dropped and let go of her hold on him slowly.
Two different space ships arrived at the 7-11 and crashed into it, the store basically destroyed at this moment.
----
"What's even going on out there!? I'm not going with a dude who finally admitted he's a terrorist." Kiyoko was basically hyperventilating now and saw an explosion outside the bathroom door. "Well, I'm guessing I'm going with a terrorist!"
On seeing the ships embracing the store, Katsura and Kagura grabbed Elizabeth and Kiyoko by their hands and they got on Sadaharu.
"This is bad. With Takasugi and Bansai here, some plan of his must be taking place right now." Katsura said. "And I'm not a terrorist, I'm a non-violent freedom fighter now."
"Now?!" She said.
"Oi, I hope Gin-san and the others are okay. If that baddy with the two bandaged eyes managed to get this far,who knows if he 911'ed that whole apartment building of yours." Kagura sighed as she mushed Sadaharu out of the crumbling building.
"Don't say that dude.." This silently upsetted the manga writer as that meant the people including her family could possibly had become causalites in all this mess. "Ozu's hardheaded enough to get Guano and Yes Man and everyone else to safety, I just have to know it."
*I believe in your family.* Elizabeth signed.
"Uh, why does this duck have my hairdo tho..?" Kiyoko asked as they made a dash into the city.
"You know, for all the calamities that are going around, I feel a lot more at bliss." Katsura said and thenhe remembered why. "Kiyoko-san! You must have dropped your comic book and having you not quote from it aloud or be glued to it has made me in a calmed state!"
"Man don't be dissing it before you read it. Aw man! That was the one where sayian Godzilla fought off all those laser guitar beams from the Unidentified Flying Objects in those cool-::dolphin noise:: cross-over promotion thing we did! That's a real bummer man." Kiyoko tssked.
"Actually, I would have loved to read it." Katsura put a hand on her shoulder.
"Sounds like a sell-out to me." Kagura added.
"Each to their own, leader." Katsura said as he looked in the reflection of a city building and got reminded of his bald scalp and sighed.
*I think you guys are actually forgetting Brozu.* Elizabeth signed.
"But do we really have to go back for that lame excuse of a-" Katsura said but Kiyoko spoke out.
"I don't know the situation at Lilymu Towers but I do know that we can save this low riding pants family member. And can't go against blood man, even if that technically is only blood by law."
"I guess so.. but if it comes down between Brozu and the comic book that we have to save.." Katsura said.
"I thought you were a freedom fighter.." Kiyoko said blankly. "But of course we're gonna save both, no questions about it. That issue is limited edition, with free x-ray googles inside."
"Do they actually work, can you see through clothes and such?" Katsura said with a serious face as usual but definitely inside you can tell he was excited. He caught sight with Elizabeth and she covered her flippers over herself.
"Nope. I gave them to my writer staff so that whenever mainly Ozu or whoever Lilymu scum comes to spy at Ozoom Manga we could laugh at their underwear and stuff, but sadly they do not.
*That should be illegal or something..* Elizabeth signed.
"Oi, all this talking filter in all of Cha's writing should be illegal. I want some action!" Kagura exclaimed.
Sadaharu charged back for Brozu in the crumbling building but suddenly a man with a blaster were in front of them.
"Going somewhere?" Sougo said with a hardened stare.
"I said wanted action, not some Coconut Head with a Bubblegum Bazooka trying to squeeze in an returning debut at the last second." Kagura sighed.
--
As the smoke cleared, Hijikata and Takasugi briefly stopped their swords fighting as Amantos of the ships filed out and bowed to Takasugi himself. Hijikata was disgusted, the Lilymuers/Shinsengumi were alarmed and Yamazaki got up and looked with the most amount of dread possible on one's face. The leader of these Amanto rebels came forth.
"We heard your distress, Takasugi-san from Matako and that weird guy dressed up as an old man's slave." The man said.
At this, Raj quickly shot up out of his unconsciousness from hearing this voice and got to his feet Despite the glass all in his face.
"PEWDIEPIE!!!" Raj yelled.
---
The gorilla man got up from the elevator floor and then climbed back up into the vent in the elevator's ceiling.
"Almost forgot the things I got from earlier today!" Kondo said.
"Oh good idea.. I could block the vent so that the smoke and lack of oxygen could kill me quicker.." Hasegawa said and started to look around for something to cover it with.
"No! No!" Kondo begged. "Don't do that!"
"Oh, that Shinsengumi police officer, Kondo-san." Hasegawa spoke. "Say what are you exactly doing in a vent there?"
"I was doing some investigation." Kondo told the Madao.
"Huh?" Hasegawa wondered.
"It turns out there's some kind of conspiracy against the Amanto being driven out of Tokyo by the natives who live here, since this city is still uneasy and rather hostile about their migration here. But the Amantos are mostly upset about the hostile behavior, some even denying the existence of aliens all together. And there's a dark rebel group leader who plays mainstream video games and is in control of many dangerous underground gangs in this city and has some ties also to top baddies like Takasugi Shinsuke. They mainly hope to eliminate and eventually overthrow this city, driving all the humans out. Even though doing so would break many peace mutual laws between us and them. There's too many rumors to confirm this, but word on the street right now is there are some unusual spaceships flying around this city currently." Kondo explained and Hasegawa looked on with shock.
"Y-you got all that from listening in various apartments in a vent above them?!" Hasegawa uttered in amazement.
"You'd be surprised at how many Amantos secretly live in this very building. Heck, that girl at the front counter seemed like some kind of crazed and angry space octopus or something." Kondo commented.
"No, that's just her normal personality." Hasegawa said and suddenly an audience laughed. "W-what was that!"
"Oh.. this 101 Hilarious Giggles and Wiggles book that me and Otae-san bought on our date.. I must be laying on it." Kondo said but he didn't try to move.
"Uh, Kondo-san?" Hasegawa asked.
"Eh, yeah Hasegawa-san?" The gorilla asked.
"You're stuck aren't you?" Hasegawa sweatdropped.
"N-no! I- Was just looking for Otae-san to give her this box of melted chocolates that she forgot when she left after out date!" Kondo had a broken box under his body and it leaked the melted syrup everywhere. He quickly picked up the box with his arm.
"But your arm's free?!" Hasegawa asked at the nonsense.
"D-doesn't mean my whole body isn't stuck!" Kondo stretched out and rolled a little, clearly being visible that he wasn't stuck.
"Why are you in that vent? You're clearly not stuck what so ever!" Hasegawa was giving up.
"I-
The cold steel feels nice up against my nards.." Kondo whispered and frantically at this Hasegawa tried to push the elevator's buttons and try to pry open the doors with his bare hands.
"No! Wait I'm sorry!" Kondo tried to scramble himself up, but the vent collapsed onto Hasegawa's back.
An hour later, both of them were sitting elevator on the ground. Hasegawa still had a cigarette to puff out, even if this towers was smoke-free. Maybe that angry octopus monster of a girl would come rescue them once she got a whiff of his rule breaking.
"I gotta admit.. Besides finding out information for my Shinsengumi officers and the fact that I couldn't contact them even if I tried now that we're stuck here.. I still have something big on my mind.." Kondo looked at the ground.
"Girl problems with Otae-san I'm guessing." Hasegawa reimagining the pain of having to eat that woman's burnt to a crisp eggs during the time they and the Odd Jobs went to the beach.
"Funny thing is, it is and it isn't." Kondou fiddled about with his hands and sighed a little.
"Huh?" Hasegawa genuinely being confused.
"You see, there was this girl who pretended to be Otae-san all day long today. I mean she was so good at cosplaying, that I didn't even recognize it wasn't Otae-san. That is until she vaporized me into a plup." Kondo said and Hasegawa didn't even bother bringing up how the ape man was still alive then. "I then realized that even though I don't know why this mysterious Amanto woman did all this, she did say she honestly had a good time with me."
"So you kinda like her?" Hasegawa took a puff of smoke from his lips.
"What! And be disloyal like that to Otae-san?! I could never! But.. I did have fun." Kondo started to blush a bit.
"The way I see it is, whoever this woman was clearly pretended to be someone who she was not. Even that is a red flag within itself." Hasegawa commented.
"But you see, maybe she did that because she realized I wouldn't go out with her if she was her normal self! Anyone willing to do all that just to date me.. I love Otae-san but I'm starting to feel conflicted." Kondo slumped down with his hand on his cheek.
"You're gonna have to sort out your emotions man and find out who really cares for you." Hasegawa said.
"You're absolutely right, even if I don't like the answer." Kondo started to flashback to him and the mysterious woman's time at the festival, the boat ride and the gazing at the stars/full moon and leading to his death. He blushed again.
"I'm here for you when you find the answer." Hasegawa said. Of course the Madao couldn't make his own life happy, but the thought that for the friends around him that give him a chance to talk to with, he might.
"You know, this floor's plush and fuzzy ground is really nice on the lower parts of the body.." Kondo silently commented and Hasegawa this time was banging on the doors for help and trying to pry them open again. Suddenly a loud creek happened, the elevator was moving! But up the levels at lightning fast speed. The two guys started to scream out and clung on each other.
----
Ozu and Gintoki went head to head with their blades. Gintoki was surprised at his defense and noticed
underneath his shirt, the old guy was ripped af, whew.
"OI! What kind of old man is this?!" Gintoki yelled out.
"My father owned a well known karate dojo back in Kotoura. So as you might can tell, I can use this katana to cut anyone into shredded up taco meat easily." Ozu said.
"Rock 'em! Sock 'em!" Yes Man cheered out for his boss in a tightly fitting cheerleader's outfit.
"I cannot believe I have to clean the wall now! Just look at that drool stain from Guano!" Ozu said and Yes Man got a microscope to view a tiny, bacterial germ on his penthouse wall.
"Are you that senile at your age! Who would even notice or care about something that literally
doesn't matter!" Gintoki said as his and Ozu's swords clashed together once more.
"Uh Ozu! Did you notice the big holes in your wall? Yes Man the usual housemaid/cook stood in utter shock and started to cry at his beautiful and clean, home was destroyed. Suddenly it all came back to Ozu. He didn't faint for some measly spit molecule from his director! It was a giant hole in his wall! The enraged and flaming old man tried to take an aim for Gintoki but the silver haired samurai blocked it. Gintoki put out the tiny fire in his hair.
"Lucky for you though Mr. Gintoki, I have no ill will to seriously hurt anyone though. I rather have this talked out anyway." Ozu yelled between his grinding teeth.
"We have a mini golf tournament in less than an hour to get to! Make this quick!" Yes Man added.
Gintoki didn't know what to do, if the writer saw him attacking Ozu and defeating him she'd probably be annoyed af and write Gin off again. But Gintoki took that chance. "
"Sure as hell I am taking that chance! I don't have any ill wills and I don't want any talk until I get my load of cash you promised me!" Gintoki jumped up high and went in for a blow as Ozu was prepared.
Suddenly, someone pushed Ozu out of the way as the blade came at him and stood between Ozu and Gintoki. The blade was less than an inch away from the guy's face. He had sweat dripping from his face but looked on at them in a serious manner. Even though he wore nothing but pink Lilymu boxers from being nearly burnt at the hands of Ozu earlier.
"Ozu.. listen to me. I've been here the entire time during all this complete nonsense and I realize all the damage this man as caused with the house.. trying to run off with the money inviting all his crazy friends over including OUR crazy friends and stuffing you and others in a closet.. " The mysterious man said.
"Man when will everyone get it through their thick heads that I didn't cause the damage. Why not shift it to the actual
people who did? You're really all pissing me off." Gintoki rubbed his neck.
"Sorry." The guy said.
"He stuffed me in WHERE?" Ozu said and Gintoki sweat dropped.
"But I do know he's a samurai and he tried to protect everyone in this penthouse when we were being threatened. If anything for all the stupid things him and his friends had done, at least give him credit that we're still alive. And that his friends right now are doing their best to protect the Lilymu cast and also your beloved wife. I don't blame your anger Ozu, I share it too. But just remember what's really going on in Tokyo right now." The guy with a familiar voice yet unusual appearance said. He went into a room without another word. Outside in Tokyo, various space ships could be seen at the 7-11 across the street.
"I cannot believe he would come in and do that. He could have been hurt by our swords..." Ozu said in the silence of it all. Both of them put down their swords,as they lost the motive to fight.
"Oi, your son is as short as your wife." Gintoki added.
TBC
"Bansai..you know the procedure for what we should do next." Somehow Takasugi was still smirking, definitely not given up.
...
Bansai was rocking out on some sick beats when Takasugi headbutted his shoulder.
"Huh? I'm listening to Otuu-san Blues to get me in a better mood." Bansai said.
"Huh?" Takasugi asked as he couldn't hear as well. The anpan had made them both deaf and blind.
"OOH, I like to thank you Jim Man for saving a face as valuable as mine." Supercod pleaded as he kissed the shoes of Yamazaki.
"Oh, it was no biggie." Yamazaki blushed and rubbed his hand on the back of his hair. "Okay men, let's assemble out of here before something else happens."
"NO WAIT! YOU FIREFIGHTERZ BROKE MY STORE AND MY MANAGER WILL BE FURIOUS AT DIS!" Raj stormed up at the police officers, they started to slowly walk away.
"WHAT. DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME MOP HEAD! I HAVE STUDENT LOANS TO PAY! DIS INDIE GAME PLAYING DOES NOT PAY FOR ITSELF! I come to Tokyo to make enough living to rent a place out and take my illegal revenge on BILLYBUM for kicking me out
of CAPTAIN CHRIS'S SHOW?!" Raj was steaming a lot now as Yamazaki looked on with fear.
"So like I said, uh.. we'll be leaving and we'll call someone from the city to uh, fix your store soon.." Yamazaki slowly backed away as two officers behind Raj cuffed him.
"I! WILL! KILL!! YOU!!!" Raj barked out and suddenly one of the Shinsengumi's gave him a mirror to look at his beautiful self in and Raj started to simmer down.
"Oi the crazed Indian man is right. I wouldn't be so careful coming out of anywhere with the two biggest criminals around here." A green haired man opened both of the doors of the 7/11 and limped in as everyone else was in shock. Behind him was Gonard, Lily and Mitsuki.
"Oi it's Hijikata! Is he alright?!" said by various Shinsengumi officers.
"V-vice chief!" Yamazaki ran up to the injured man.
"It's not going to be safe outside anywhere around this area." Hijikata said.
"What do you mean, Hijikata-san?" Yamazaki and the other officers wondered.
"A bad guy can't be taken out that easily!" Gonard said. "I should know, I play one on TV. They have to battle the main character before they're truly defeated."
"This isn't TV, spaz." Lily told him.
"How do you know! The Lilymu manga tells me that 4th wall breaking is a key guide to providing the comedy for my supervillian role!" Gonard exclaimed.
"That's not even FROM Lilymu! It's a Ozoom Manga comic book!" Lily yelled while Mitsuki just sighed at how old this was getting, even to her.
"Hey! Maybe I've had dreams of living inside a comic book and switching from Lilymu to the dark side, okay?!" Gonard tried to put his head in the book but alas, he could not enter inside the paper world. He threw the comic book in dismay and it landed on Raj's mirror and flung Raj back
with his face in bloody mirror glass bits.
"What are you saying Mr. Police Officer?" Mitsuki asked
"Oi, the blue haired doofus is right.. According to the current news there's ships going all around Tokyo right now in search of the big shot here. They haven't done any sort of damage yet, but they're causing a lot of buzz around this city right now." Hijikata gestured to Takasugi who was just smiling back and he chuckled.
"It's funny, even when I can't hear or see I can tell I'm being talked to by a demon vice chief. Looks like the gig's up." Takasugi grinned.
Suddenly he leaped up along with Bansai and broke the bind of Shinsengumi guards that held them. Hijikata drew up his blade as the two criminals ran up to him. With one of Hijikata's blows, the cuffs broke off of them and Takasugi took up a sword.The two fought for a while as everyone else watched in horror. In this buzz, Bansai fought off the various other guards as the Lilymu stars looked on at this, surprised at everyone's skils. Suddenly, the sneaky spy Yamazaki came up behind Bansai and bent his arms back.
"I'm not letting you guys get away this easily! Especially the coolest moment of my life when I became the Shinsengumi's fearless leader for a brief moment!" Yamazaki declared but Bansai had the better strength and threw Yamazaki over his head and by Raj.
"I-I'm sorry Vice Chief..." Yamzaki blacked out.
Bansai now free, checked out a tracker he held onto. But Gonard, Mitsuki and Lily charged at the man with a battle cry and tackled him to the floor.
"Don't mess with Agent M and her friends! Or I will end you!" Mitsuki said in a very serious tone and deeper voice. She wrapped her legs around Bansai's neck and it looked like his head could pop off like a pimple, even with his strength.
"Agent who?" Lily and Gonard asked in confusion.
"Uh, it's a quote I heard off of a Netflix original movie..?" She sweat dropped and let go of her hold on him slowly.
Two different space ships arrived at the 7-11 and crashed into it, the store basically destroyed at this moment.
----
"What's even going on out there!? I'm not going with a dude who finally admitted he's a terrorist." Kiyoko was basically hyperventilating now and saw an explosion outside the bathroom door. "Well, I'm guessing I'm going with a terrorist!"
On seeing the ships embracing the store, Katsura and Kagura grabbed Elizabeth and Kiyoko by their hands and they got on Sadaharu.
"This is bad. With Takasugi and Bansai here, some plan of his must be taking place right now." Katsura said. "And I'm not a terrorist, I'm a non-violent freedom fighter now."
"Now?!" She said.
"Oi, I hope Gin-san and the others are okay. If that baddy with the two bandaged eyes managed to get this far,who knows if he 911'ed that whole apartment building of yours." Kagura sighed as she mushed Sadaharu out of the crumbling building.
"Don't say that dude.." This silently upsetted the manga writer as that meant the people including her family could possibly had become causalites in all this mess. "Ozu's hardheaded enough to get Guano and Yes Man and everyone else to safety, I just have to know it."
*I believe in your family.* Elizabeth signed.
"Uh, why does this duck have my hairdo tho..?" Kiyoko asked as they made a dash into the city.
"You know, for all the calamities that are going around, I feel a lot more at bliss." Katsura said and thenhe remembered why. "Kiyoko-san! You must have dropped your comic book and having you not quote from it aloud or be glued to it has made me in a calmed state!"
"Man don't be dissing it before you read it. Aw man! That was the one where sayian Godzilla fought off all those laser guitar beams from the Unidentified Flying Objects in those cool-::dolphin noise:: cross-over promotion thing we did! That's a real bummer man." Kiyoko tssked.
"Actually, I would have loved to read it." Katsura put a hand on her shoulder.
"Sounds like a sell-out to me." Kagura added.
"Each to their own, leader." Katsura said as he looked in the reflection of a city building and got reminded of his bald scalp and sighed.
*I think you guys are actually forgetting Brozu.* Elizabeth signed.
"But do we really have to go back for that lame excuse of a-" Katsura said but Kiyoko spoke out.
"I don't know the situation at Lilymu Towers but I do know that we can save this low riding pants family member. And can't go against blood man, even if that technically is only blood by law."
"I guess so.. but if it comes down between Brozu and the comic book that we have to save.." Katsura said.
"I thought you were a freedom fighter.." Kiyoko said blankly. "But of course we're gonna save both, no questions about it. That issue is limited edition, with free x-ray googles inside."
"Do they actually work, can you see through clothes and such?" Katsura said with a serious face as usual but definitely inside you can tell he was excited. He caught sight with Elizabeth and she covered her flippers over herself.
"Nope. I gave them to my writer staff so that whenever mainly Ozu or whoever Lilymu scum comes to spy at Ozoom Manga we could laugh at their underwear and stuff, but sadly they do not.
*That should be illegal or something..* Elizabeth signed.
"Oi, all this talking filter in all of Cha's writing should be illegal. I want some action!" Kagura exclaimed.
Sadaharu charged back for Brozu in the crumbling building but suddenly a man with a blaster were in front of them.
"Going somewhere?" Sougo said with a hardened stare.
"I said wanted action, not some Coconut Head with a Bubblegum Bazooka trying to squeeze in an returning debut at the last second." Kagura sighed.
--
As the smoke cleared, Hijikata and Takasugi briefly stopped their swords fighting as Amantos of the ships filed out and bowed to Takasugi himself. Hijikata was disgusted, the Lilymuers/Shinsengumi were alarmed and Yamazaki got up and looked with the most amount of dread possible on one's face. The leader of these Amanto rebels came forth.
"We heard your distress, Takasugi-san from Matako and that weird guy dressed up as an old man's slave." The man said.
At this, Raj quickly shot up out of his unconsciousness from hearing this voice and got to his feet Despite the glass all in his face.
"PEWDIEPIE!!!" Raj yelled.
---
The gorilla man got up from the elevator floor and then climbed back up into the vent in the elevator's ceiling.
"Almost forgot the things I got from earlier today!" Kondo said.
"Oh good idea.. I could block the vent so that the smoke and lack of oxygen could kill me quicker.." Hasegawa said and started to look around for something to cover it with.
"No! No!" Kondo begged. "Don't do that!"
"Oh, that Shinsengumi police officer, Kondo-san." Hasegawa spoke. "Say what are you exactly doing in a vent there?"
"I was doing some investigation." Kondo told the Madao.
"Huh?" Hasegawa wondered.
"It turns out there's some kind of conspiracy against the Amanto being driven out of Tokyo by the natives who live here, since this city is still uneasy and rather hostile about their migration here. But the Amantos are mostly upset about the hostile behavior, some even denying the existence of aliens all together. And there's a dark rebel group leader who plays mainstream video games and is in control of many dangerous underground gangs in this city and has some ties also to top baddies like Takasugi Shinsuke. They mainly hope to eliminate and eventually overthrow this city, driving all the humans out. Even though doing so would break many peace mutual laws between us and them. There's too many rumors to confirm this, but word on the street right now is there are some unusual spaceships flying around this city currently." Kondo explained and Hasegawa looked on with shock.
"Y-you got all that from listening in various apartments in a vent above them?!" Hasegawa uttered in amazement.
"You'd be surprised at how many Amantos secretly live in this very building. Heck, that girl at the front counter seemed like some kind of crazed and angry space octopus or something." Kondo commented.
"No, that's just her normal personality." Hasegawa said and suddenly an audience laughed. "W-what was that!"
"Oh.. this 101 Hilarious Giggles and Wiggles book that me and Otae-san bought on our date.. I must be laying on it." Kondo said but he didn't try to move.
"Uh, Kondo-san?" Hasegawa asked.
"Eh, yeah Hasegawa-san?" The gorilla asked.
"You're stuck aren't you?" Hasegawa sweatdropped.
"N-no! I- Was just looking for Otae-san to give her this box of melted chocolates that she forgot when she left after out date!" Kondo had a broken box under his body and it leaked the melted syrup everywhere. He quickly picked up the box with his arm.
"But your arm's free?!" Hasegawa asked at the nonsense.
"D-doesn't mean my whole body isn't stuck!" Kondo stretched out and rolled a little, clearly being visible that he wasn't stuck.
"Why are you in that vent? You're clearly not stuck what so ever!" Hasegawa was giving up.
"I-
The cold steel feels nice up against my nards.." Kondo whispered and frantically at this Hasegawa tried to push the elevator's buttons and try to pry open the doors with his bare hands.
"No! Wait I'm sorry!" Kondo tried to scramble himself up, but the vent collapsed onto Hasegawa's back.
An hour later, both of them were sitting elevator on the ground. Hasegawa still had a cigarette to puff out, even if this towers was smoke-free. Maybe that angry octopus monster of a girl would come rescue them once she got a whiff of his rule breaking.
"I gotta admit.. Besides finding out information for my Shinsengumi officers and the fact that I couldn't contact them even if I tried now that we're stuck here.. I still have something big on my mind.." Kondo looked at the ground.
"Girl problems with Otae-san I'm guessing." Hasegawa reimagining the pain of having to eat that woman's burnt to a crisp eggs during the time they and the Odd Jobs went to the beach.
"Funny thing is, it is and it isn't." Kondou fiddled about with his hands and sighed a little.
"Huh?" Hasegawa genuinely being confused.
"You see, there was this girl who pretended to be Otae-san all day long today. I mean she was so good at cosplaying, that I didn't even recognize it wasn't Otae-san. That is until she vaporized me into a plup." Kondo said and Hasegawa didn't even bother bringing up how the ape man was still alive then. "I then realized that even though I don't know why this mysterious Amanto woman did all this, she did say she honestly had a good time with me."
"So you kinda like her?" Hasegawa took a puff of smoke from his lips.
"What! And be disloyal like that to Otae-san?! I could never! But.. I did have fun." Kondo started to blush a bit.
"The way I see it is, whoever this woman was clearly pretended to be someone who she was not. Even that is a red flag within itself." Hasegawa commented.
"But you see, maybe she did that because she realized I wouldn't go out with her if she was her normal self! Anyone willing to do all that just to date me.. I love Otae-san but I'm starting to feel conflicted." Kondo slumped down with his hand on his cheek.
"You're gonna have to sort out your emotions man and find out who really cares for you." Hasegawa said.
"You're absolutely right, even if I don't like the answer." Kondo started to flashback to him and the mysterious woman's time at the festival, the boat ride and the gazing at the stars/full moon and leading to his death. He blushed again.
"I'm here for you when you find the answer." Hasegawa said. Of course the Madao couldn't make his own life happy, but the thought that for the friends around him that give him a chance to talk to with, he might.
"You know, this floor's plush and fuzzy ground is really nice on the lower parts of the body.." Kondo silently commented and Hasegawa this time was banging on the doors for help and trying to pry them open again. Suddenly a loud creek happened, the elevator was moving! But up the levels at lightning fast speed. The two guys started to scream out and clung on each other.
----
Ozu and Gintoki went head to head with their blades. Gintoki was surprised at his defense and noticed
underneath his shirt, the old guy was ripped af, whew.
"OI! What kind of old man is this?!" Gintoki yelled out.
"My father owned a well known karate dojo back in Kotoura. So as you might can tell, I can use this katana to cut anyone into shredded up taco meat easily." Ozu said.
"Rock 'em! Sock 'em!" Yes Man cheered out for his boss in a tightly fitting cheerleader's outfit.
"I cannot believe I have to clean the wall now! Just look at that drool stain from Guano!" Ozu said and Yes Man got a microscope to view a tiny, bacterial germ on his penthouse wall.
"Are you that senile at your age! Who would even notice or care about something that literally
doesn't matter!" Gintoki said as his and Ozu's swords clashed together once more.
"Uh Ozu! Did you notice the big holes in your wall? Yes Man the usual housemaid/cook stood in utter shock and started to cry at his beautiful and clean, home was destroyed. Suddenly it all came back to Ozu. He didn't faint for some measly spit molecule from his director! It was a giant hole in his wall! The enraged and flaming old man tried to take an aim for Gintoki but the silver haired samurai blocked it. Gintoki put out the tiny fire in his hair.
"Lucky for you though Mr. Gintoki, I have no ill will to seriously hurt anyone though. I rather have this talked out anyway." Ozu yelled between his grinding teeth.
"We have a mini golf tournament in less than an hour to get to! Make this quick!" Yes Man added.
Gintoki didn't know what to do, if the writer saw him attacking Ozu and defeating him she'd probably be annoyed af and write Gin off again. But Gintoki took that chance. "
"Sure as hell I am taking that chance! I don't have any ill wills and I don't want any talk until I get my load of cash you promised me!" Gintoki jumped up high and went in for a blow as Ozu was prepared.
Suddenly, someone pushed Ozu out of the way as the blade came at him and stood between Ozu and Gintoki. The blade was less than an inch away from the guy's face. He had sweat dripping from his face but looked on at them in a serious manner. Even though he wore nothing but pink Lilymu boxers from being nearly burnt at the hands of Ozu earlier.
"Ozu.. listen to me. I've been here the entire time during all this complete nonsense and I realize all the damage this man as caused with the house.. trying to run off with the money inviting all his crazy friends over including OUR crazy friends and stuffing you and others in a closet.. " The mysterious man said.
"Man when will everyone get it through their thick heads that I didn't cause the damage. Why not shift it to the actual
people who did? You're really all pissing me off." Gintoki rubbed his neck.
"Sorry." The guy said.
"He stuffed me in WHERE?" Ozu said and Gintoki sweat dropped.
"But I do know he's a samurai and he tried to protect everyone in this penthouse when we were being threatened. If anything for all the stupid things him and his friends had done, at least give him credit that we're still alive. And that his friends right now are doing their best to protect the Lilymu cast and also your beloved wife. I don't blame your anger Ozu, I share it too. But just remember what's really going on in Tokyo right now." The guy with a familiar voice yet unusual appearance said. He went into a room without another word. Outside in Tokyo, various space ships could be seen at the 7-11 across the street.
"I cannot believe he would come in and do that. He could have been hurt by our swords..." Ozu said in the silence of it all. Both of them put down their swords,as they lost the motive to fight.
"Oi, your son is as short as your wife." Gintoki added.
TBC
