RedSoxFan274
Baseball. Hockey. SBM vet. I drop in unexpectedly.
I don't mean this for sound insensitive to those who contemplate leaving. I'm saying this because I hope this will be of assistance to some of them.
For some reason, a culture has been created here--a culture that demands that users let everybody know if they're thinking about leaving. If you ask me, people should be free to come and go as they please without having to make drastic declarations. "I'm leaving" or "I'm taking a hiatus" sound so alarmist and they're topics that often end up making a scene, especially if the reason for leaving or a hiatus is due to hurt feelings. Should someone be allowed to leave if they have hurt feelings? Absolutely. Should someone be allowed to let everyone know they're leaving IF THEY SO DESIRE? Absolutely.
But NOWHERE should it be written, and I have no idea how this forum has come to have this as some sort of unwritten rule--NOBODY should think that they are REQUIRED to tell everybody that they want to leave or take a hiatus.
When I first joined, people came and went on a regular basis. Members were held in good stead who maybe only visited once every couple weeks, maybe only once a month. But somehow, nowadays, if someone is offline for ONE DAY... that's considered "leaving" or "taking a hiatus." I have repeatedly seen people take "hiatuses" that have lasted maybe five days. In 2009, that wasn't a "hiatus." It was called being backed up on schoolwork.
And member patterns factor into this as well. Think about this for a second: have I been active as much recently? Have I? ... Yeah, that's right, for the past month or so, I haven't been. Took you a while to realize, right? That's because I have NEVER been one of these megamembers who posts 30 times per day. FOR ME, I can go three to five days without visiting the site and nobody will notice. That is the way things used to be. But if you're posting 30 times per day, if you leave for twelve hours people will notice, and then they will claim that you have "left." DO NOT BE CONCERNED ABOUT OR MAKE AN ISSUE OF EVERYDAY MEMBERS (I'M TALKING THOSE WHO POST 15- 20-PLUS TIMES PER DAY) LEAVING FOR A DAY OR TWO. OR EVEN FIVE DAYS. OR EVEN A WEEK. SOMEONE BEING GONE FOR 24 TO 72 HOURS DOES NOT MERIT A STATUS UPDATE ASKING, PANICKED, "WHERE'S __________?! I'M WORRIED."
I'm sort of rambling trying to find the right words here, so let me leave it at this:
To Those Who Feel Like "Leaving": If you really feel that disillusioned here, by all means, take some time off. DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED TO POST A THREAD OR BLOG POST SAYING SO. TRUST YOUR FELLOW SBMERS TO REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING KNOWN AS A LIFE, WHICH EXTENDS BEYOND A SPONGEBOB FORUM.
To Those Who React To Those Who Feel Like "Leaving": DO NOT FEEL CRUSHED OR ALARMED. YOUR BEST FRIEND OR PM PAL OR WHOEVER IT IS PROBABLY JUST NEEDS TO TAKE A BREATHER DUE TO ISSUES OFF- OR ONLINE THAT ARE BEYOND HIS OR HER CONTROL.
THROUGHOUT MY FIVE YEARS AT SBM, I HAVE NEVER KNOWN SOMEBODY WHO SAYS THEY'RE "LEAVING FOREVER" TO ACTUALLY LEAVE FOREVER. IF YOU'RE THINKING OF LEAVING, EXPECT TO BE DRAWN BACK AT SOME POINT OR OTHER BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE THIS PLACE SO YOU WOULDN'T BE ACTIVE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
AND DON'T SAY "FAREWELL" THINKING YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE A PARTICULAR MEMBER AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.
JUST THINK OF THESE PEOPLE (AND YOURSELF, IF YOU ARE ONE) AS TAKING A LITTLE VACATION. IT MAY LAST A DAY. IT MAY LAST A MONTH. IT MAY LAST A YEAR. YOU WILL BE BACK EVENTUALLY, EVEN IF ONLY IN A MINOR CAPACITY.
I myself was absent on SBM for a period lasting almost eighteen months. Now I'm more active than I was before that hiatus. Real life got in the way. Now I'm here again.
And I never posted a big topic saying "I'm leaving" because I didn't have to BECAUSE IT HAPPENED NATURALLY.
Another thing to remember...
DO NOT THINK THAT YOU KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO LEAVE.
DO NOT JUMP TO ANY QUICK CONCLUSIONS.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME. LET DAYS AND WEEKS AND MONTHS PLAY OUT.
IF YOUR ACTIVITY FADES GRADUALLY TO THE POINT THAT YOU'RE NO LONGER HERE, THAT'S FINE.
I HAVE NEVER KNOWN ANYBODY TO ABRUPTLY CEASE ALL ACTIVITY IN THE COURSE OF ONE DAY UNLESS THEY WERE BANNED.
And above all...
YOU ARE SITTING AROUND TALKING TO SOMEONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A COMPUTER.
THERE IS NEVER ANY REASON TO BE RILED UP TO THE POINT OF LEAVING BY WHAT SOMEBODY SAYS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A COMPUTER, ESPECIALLY ON A FORUM SUCH AS THIS ONE WHEN NOBODY EVER INTENDS TO TRULY BE MEAN.
DO NOT LET PETTY ARGUMENTS DRIVE YOU AWAY. GIVE IT A DAY OR TWO, HUG, MAKE UP, MOVE ON.
IF IT IS OFFLINE ISSUES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MUST LEAVE, THEN THIS SHOULD BE UNDERSTOOD. GOOD LUCK. SORT OUT WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO. WE WILL HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON. BUT TAKE YOUR TIME.
WHATEVER YOU MAY DO, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WANTING TO LEAVE. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY IF SOMEONE ELSE IS LEAVING. UNLESS YOU DIRECTLY CONFRONTED SAID MEMBER, DO NOT BE LEFT WONDERING "WHAT YOU DID WRONG" -- BECAUSE YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
For some reason, a culture has been created here--a culture that demands that users let everybody know if they're thinking about leaving. If you ask me, people should be free to come and go as they please without having to make drastic declarations. "I'm leaving" or "I'm taking a hiatus" sound so alarmist and they're topics that often end up making a scene, especially if the reason for leaving or a hiatus is due to hurt feelings. Should someone be allowed to leave if they have hurt feelings? Absolutely. Should someone be allowed to let everyone know they're leaving IF THEY SO DESIRE? Absolutely.
But NOWHERE should it be written, and I have no idea how this forum has come to have this as some sort of unwritten rule--NOBODY should think that they are REQUIRED to tell everybody that they want to leave or take a hiatus.
When I first joined, people came and went on a regular basis. Members were held in good stead who maybe only visited once every couple weeks, maybe only once a month. But somehow, nowadays, if someone is offline for ONE DAY... that's considered "leaving" or "taking a hiatus." I have repeatedly seen people take "hiatuses" that have lasted maybe five days. In 2009, that wasn't a "hiatus." It was called being backed up on schoolwork.
And member patterns factor into this as well. Think about this for a second: have I been active as much recently? Have I? ... Yeah, that's right, for the past month or so, I haven't been. Took you a while to realize, right? That's because I have NEVER been one of these megamembers who posts 30 times per day. FOR ME, I can go three to five days without visiting the site and nobody will notice. That is the way things used to be. But if you're posting 30 times per day, if you leave for twelve hours people will notice, and then they will claim that you have "left." DO NOT BE CONCERNED ABOUT OR MAKE AN ISSUE OF EVERYDAY MEMBERS (I'M TALKING THOSE WHO POST 15- 20-PLUS TIMES PER DAY) LEAVING FOR A DAY OR TWO. OR EVEN FIVE DAYS. OR EVEN A WEEK. SOMEONE BEING GONE FOR 24 TO 72 HOURS DOES NOT MERIT A STATUS UPDATE ASKING, PANICKED, "WHERE'S __________?! I'M WORRIED."
I'm sort of rambling trying to find the right words here, so let me leave it at this:
To Those Who Feel Like "Leaving": If you really feel that disillusioned here, by all means, take some time off. DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED TO POST A THREAD OR BLOG POST SAYING SO. TRUST YOUR FELLOW SBMERS TO REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING KNOWN AS A LIFE, WHICH EXTENDS BEYOND A SPONGEBOB FORUM.
To Those Who React To Those Who Feel Like "Leaving": DO NOT FEEL CRUSHED OR ALARMED. YOUR BEST FRIEND OR PM PAL OR WHOEVER IT IS PROBABLY JUST NEEDS TO TAKE A BREATHER DUE TO ISSUES OFF- OR ONLINE THAT ARE BEYOND HIS OR HER CONTROL.
THROUGHOUT MY FIVE YEARS AT SBM, I HAVE NEVER KNOWN SOMEBODY WHO SAYS THEY'RE "LEAVING FOREVER" TO ACTUALLY LEAVE FOREVER. IF YOU'RE THINKING OF LEAVING, EXPECT TO BE DRAWN BACK AT SOME POINT OR OTHER BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE THIS PLACE SO YOU WOULDN'T BE ACTIVE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
AND DON'T SAY "FAREWELL" THINKING YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE A PARTICULAR MEMBER AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.
JUST THINK OF THESE PEOPLE (AND YOURSELF, IF YOU ARE ONE) AS TAKING A LITTLE VACATION. IT MAY LAST A DAY. IT MAY LAST A MONTH. IT MAY LAST A YEAR. YOU WILL BE BACK EVENTUALLY, EVEN IF ONLY IN A MINOR CAPACITY.
I myself was absent on SBM for a period lasting almost eighteen months. Now I'm more active than I was before that hiatus. Real life got in the way. Now I'm here again.
And I never posted a big topic saying "I'm leaving" because I didn't have to BECAUSE IT HAPPENED NATURALLY.
Another thing to remember...
DO NOT THINK THAT YOU KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO LEAVE.
DO NOT JUMP TO ANY QUICK CONCLUSIONS.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME. LET DAYS AND WEEKS AND MONTHS PLAY OUT.
IF YOUR ACTIVITY FADES GRADUALLY TO THE POINT THAT YOU'RE NO LONGER HERE, THAT'S FINE.
I HAVE NEVER KNOWN ANYBODY TO ABRUPTLY CEASE ALL ACTIVITY IN THE COURSE OF ONE DAY UNLESS THEY WERE BANNED.
And above all...
YOU ARE SITTING AROUND TALKING TO SOMEONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A COMPUTER.
THERE IS NEVER ANY REASON TO BE RILED UP TO THE POINT OF LEAVING BY WHAT SOMEBODY SAYS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A COMPUTER, ESPECIALLY ON A FORUM SUCH AS THIS ONE WHEN NOBODY EVER INTENDS TO TRULY BE MEAN.
DO NOT LET PETTY ARGUMENTS DRIVE YOU AWAY. GIVE IT A DAY OR TWO, HUG, MAKE UP, MOVE ON.
IF IT IS OFFLINE ISSUES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MUST LEAVE, THEN THIS SHOULD BE UNDERSTOOD. GOOD LUCK. SORT OUT WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO. WE WILL HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON. BUT TAKE YOUR TIME.
WHATEVER YOU MAY DO, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WANTING TO LEAVE. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY IF SOMEONE ELSE IS LEAVING. UNLESS YOU DIRECTLY CONFRONTED SAID MEMBER, DO NOT BE LEFT WONDERING "WHAT YOU DID WRONG" -- BECAUSE YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
